https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 01:19:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2472242 Wed, 24 Feb 2016 09:03:54 +0000 mrsrain 2472242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely did! When we found out the gender and were able to name him it made it so much more real to us. Then later on we decided to set up his nursery space (in our bedroom), and that helped too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2472192 Wed, 24 Feb 2016 08:32:58 +0000 Anagram 2472192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I have felt more connected to baby 2 as soon as she was born. For LO1, she was such an awful sleeper and so high needs, I didn't reeeeaaallllllyyyy enjoy her until she was a year old. But LO2 has been so different--I think because now I realize the baby days fly by, I actually ENJOY the baby stage and I don't even mind night wake ups and it's just so different, mentally. Hope the same happens for you! I know you also had a higher needs first one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2472062 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 23:05:56 +0000 Mama Bird 2472062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I love love love how you said that.</p> <p>I'm curious to see this feeling of being disconnected happened to so many people! It happened to me too and it was so tough. I think baby could also feel that we weren't bonding, after she was born the poor kid just panicked every time I put her down :bummed: She's still so much clingier than her big brother was at her age! But she knows mommy loves her, so everything will work out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2472008 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 21:04:25 +0000 FaithFertility 2472008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: beautiful </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471998 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 20:56:21 +0000 avivoca 2471998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I just...I just love this. So beautiful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471994 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 20:53:19 +0000 FaithFertility 2471994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: :crying: I'm so sorry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471872 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 19:03:50 +0000 catlady 2471872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My situation is a little different because I've mostly had losses but I've felt less connected with each subsequent pregnancy. My first one, I felt hyper connected (to the point where I sensed when I lost the baby even though it wasn't confirmed for another 4 weeks). After that loss, it was scary to me to feel so much less connected with my next pregnancy, but that one turned out to be my LO. I felt alot more connected after we found out the sex and gave her a name, but I never felt the same hyper-connectivity that I had had with my first.</p> <p>My third pregnancy, I felt even less connected. I felt like I was focusing more on my morning sickness than the fact that I was actually pregnant. I ended up losing that one too and realized afterwards that I hadn't ever really believed that I would have a baby at the end. Not sure what will happen next time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471865 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 18:50:36 +0000 Applesandbananas 2471865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: this made me tear up &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471686 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 16:14:42 +0000 Cherrybee 2471686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Y'know.... I actually feel more connected this time. Last time, I was allllll about pregnancy, I knew what kind of vegetable the baby was etc, and I was obsessed with researching gear, buying pretty things - but the reality of her being an actual person didn't really sink in until she was a few months old. This time, I don't think of this child as a squishy baby, I think of her as my youngest daughter Lorelei. I see the seat she will sit in at the dinner table, empty, and then I feel her kick, to remind me that she's here with us already. I bought a 4-slice toaster the other day because, as I said to DH, "we are a family of four". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471657 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 15:59:44 +0000 avivoca 2471657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do. It's still so early and this pregnancy was a complete surprise. I think I'll connect more when I know the sex and can feel movement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471644 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 15:53:43 +0000 skipra 2471644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. With my first, it was my whole world and when I was pregnant with my second, my first was still my whole world. I was also just so excited with my first and with my second and now third, in addition to the excitement is the worry about how my existing LO's will handle a new baby. So yes, for me, the combination of being so focused on my LO's and the mixed feelings about having another baby do make it harder to connect. The lucky thing is you can connect just as well when s/he is born! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471624 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 15:46:34 +0000 ShootingStar 2471624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was less connected at the beginning of this pregnancy. For one, I got pregnant on the first try this time. With DS it was close to year and I had to see an RE. I was so much more bought into the process. For a long time it just felt too good to be true, and like I shouldn't get attached.</p> <p>It was also so weird to me to suddenly be pregnant, and yet it was nothing like what I remembered pregnancy being. There was no big bump yet (visual reminder of baby), and no baby kicks or hiccups (physical reminder of baby). I knew this was really weird - but I kinda felt like pregnancy should've just picked up where the last one ended, lol. </p> <p>I'm now close to 15w and I'm feeling a lot more connected. We found out the gender and we've decided on a name. Oh, and I've been feeling some movement too. We've started decorating the nursery and I've got a pronounced bump. I do look at DS and wonder how I can possibly love another child as much as I love him. I felt connected with DS my entire pregnancy and I fell in love the moment I saw him. I hope/assume it'll happen that way again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471556 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 15:18:43 +0000 Greentea 2471556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't say less connected, but definitely less focused on the pregnancy, which has been a good thing. Much more laid back. Less stressed. I will say, the time is FLYING BY. It basically took my entire life to make the first one (is how it felt/seemed) and this one is coming at the speed of light! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471542 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 15:14:05 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2471542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Less connected for sure! I started to feel more connected once I found out the sex, and started feeling movement near the 2nd half of the 2nd trimester. I felt less connected at the birth of my 2nd too, and it took me a few months to really feel connected to him. Now it's all a distant memory. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471538 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 15:09:15 +0000 jill_a55 2471538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been definitely less connected with this one (my second, 36wks) I think partially because I am so busy working and running after my first LO that there isn't time, and partially because I just already know what's going on. If he had been a girl, maybe it would have been different (since I have a boy already) but who knows! </p> <p>I will say though that it all caught up with me a few weeks ago and I had a total meltdown about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471537 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 15:09:15 +0000 Periwinkle 2471537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I almost wrote this exact same post this morning as I am feeling somewhat (and you named it perfectly) disconnected. I hate this feeling because it is unfamiliar to me... last time around I could have told you how far along I was to the exact week/day and I had so much more energy to devote to daydreaming and thinking about pregnancy. This time around, even though it took a bit longer to get pregnant than last time, I was in sheer disbelief until after our first appointment. For a while, I was convinced that the "disconnect" was my mind's way of protecting myself until we knew that everything was OK, at least in the beginning. I am beyond excited but just can't put my finger on why I don't feel the same "everyday excitement" as last time. Perhaps it's because I am busy with LO and my job has gotten more strenuous but part of me is constantly comparing pregnancies. I know I am being harsh on myself and in reality know that 2 pregnancies, 4 years apart, should really not be the same (!), but it's just hard to have a different "connection" from the get go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471527 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 15:05:15 +0000 ValentineMommy 2471527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did, but it was moreso because I had a miscarriage a few months prior. I was afraid of becoming attached and having another m/c. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471507 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 14:56:41 +0000 lamariniere 2471507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was much less connected for my second pregnancy. I think the fact that I knew LO1 was a boy from the second I knew I was pregnant (great intuition!) helped me think of him as a person with a name. But I didn't have that intuition at all the second time around and so it was much harder for me to connect, and we didn't even start thinking of names until we knew the sex. I think I was also trying to protect myself from gender disappointment had LO2 not been the gender we desired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471304 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 13:35:03 +0000 fancyfunction 2471304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Especially in the beginning I would forget I was pregnant a lot b/c so much of my time and energy is focused on M. Once I could feel movement and knew gender I started feeling more connected, but it can still be hard. Now I'm a week out and just waiting on him to get here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471292 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 13:31:40 +0000 Torchwood 2471292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our situation was different, in that we didn't have a LO running around, but it was actually shocking to me how connected I was with our second (well, 4th, but second that was viable). Once we found out R might not make it (at 20 weeks), I totally disconnected. It was a defense mechanism, and probably a good one, as it turned out. But once we were sure L was healthy, I was able to be really emotionally involved and it was a totally different experience. DH was the same. He was FAR more involved with my pregnancy with L. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471231 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:42:58 +0000 runnerd 2471231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: yes! Most of my future thoughts are the baby in relation to DS1. Even nursery planning has been more about DS1 bc he needs new things so we can move his nursery future to the baby room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471225 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:39:11 +0000 Foodnerd81 2471225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely. Even when I thought about the baby it was in relation to my toddler- like I was excited to see her with the baby, not excited to see the baby. It took a long time. Even after the baby was born I didn't feel as connected with her as I did when my first was born. Once she started developing a personality it lifted. She's 9 weeks old and I can say I love her just as much as big sis, but it really did take longer than I expected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471218 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:32:33 +0000 artsyfartsy 2471218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I keep forgetting I'm pregnant and I don't feel quite as connected to this baby yet. With your first pregnancy, it's your EVERYTHING. I was on cloud nine dreaming about all the baby stuff ahead of me. Now I have a 2 year old keeping all of my attention.</p> <p>I'm still anticipating all of the milestones ahead with this baby and the birth. I'm very excited...but my feet are just on the ground more this time around. If that makes sense. Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471207 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:25:49 +0000 catomd00 2471207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually forget I'm pregnant and its flying by, but I don't think I'm anymore or less connected than I was with DD1. I don't really connect until baby is born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471202 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:24:03 +0000 Alba4 2471202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel as connected this time, as with my first. @runnerd: I have the same concerns as you like being able to love this new guy as much as #1. I know it will be an adjustment for everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471181 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:14:06 +0000 runnerd 2471181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm almost 23 weeks and think about being pregnant a lot, but I just don't feel connected to the baby or really think a lot about what will life be like when he's here, which does make me sad!!! I have a lot of those typically second time mom thoughts of "will I love this baby as much as LO #1? What if I still give preference to #1?" It's just hard to imagine splitting my attention! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471180 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:14:05 +0000 gingerbebe 2471180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was extremely sick until 16 weeks with MS, and between that, working, a toddler, and family drama, I couldn't even think about the baby (except for the fact that I felt awful) for a long time. But once my MS got under control and I started showing and felt the baby kick and got the gender, I felt more ready to think about the baby as a person and how they would fit into our family and all that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471178 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:13:12 +0000 Adira 2471178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel super connected with my second pregnancy. I was still spending so much of my time and energy on my first-born. It got easier to connect when he started kicking. :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471170 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:05:33 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2471170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Way less connected. Honestly I didn't feel really connected until like a month after she was born </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-disconnected-from-your-second-or-more-pregnancy#post-2471166 Tue, 23 Feb 2016 12:01:27 +0000 Freckles 2471166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think i was disconnected in the sense that i had no time to really think about it. Busy with a toddler, work and life...no time to dwell over whether he was an eggplant or broccoli yet. I think i felt more connected once i found out the gender. </p>