https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 17:09:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368862 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 22:31:07 +0000 mrsjyw 2368862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a chemical pregnancy while trying for ds2. And I was really sad about it but also felt guilty as we've had a relatively easy time w conceiving and went onto have ds2 quickly thereafter. </p> <p>It didn't help that the nurse on my ob's call line pretty much said I wasn't really pregnant.</p> <p>Several Hb users reminded me that a loss is a loss and whatever emotions we feel about it we shouldn't feel guilty about going through the roller coaster of emotions. One's journey is hat person to go through and experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368844 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 21:55:54 +0000 jaguar 2368844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel this guilt constantly. And it doesn't help when people remind you to be grateful for your little one - as if we ever, for a split second, would ever NOT think that. </p> <p>We are having our third IVF miscarriage as we speak, and it's just horrible. I'm sorry for your losses, ladies. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368815 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 21:03:47 +0000 travelgirl1 2368815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are going through this again :crying: </p> <p>I don't feel guilty for the time I spent/spend grieving my loss because I already had a baby, but I did feel a bit guilty when DS was born, both because he wouldn't be here if I hadn't lost the other pregnancy, and for not enjoying him as much as I should because I was grieving.<br /> I try keep the memory of my loss alive as much as I can, by having a memory box from the pregnancy out in the living room, their birthstone on a necklace alongside DD and DS's stones, and my friend is painting a picture of us all and will include our lost baby as a star. We also celebrate their due date by going out to do something fun, that they would have enjoyed had they been born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368810 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 20:49:53 +0000 FaithFertility 2368810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:( it's awful when I was at my first Dr apt for G they said so this is your 3rd pregnancy..... That was weird to hear!</p> <p>So sorry again!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368805 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 20:44:36 +0000 Ash 2368805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: so sorry you're going through this. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368804 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 20:44:14 +0000 winniebee 2368804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: that's really sweet. Thanks for sharing :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368803 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 20:43:39 +0000 winniebee 2368803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: @Ash: thank you :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368795 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 20:38:52 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2368795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw this on FB on remembrance day, and I love it so much. </p> <p>So many hugs to you momma. &lt;3 </p> [attach=3751/15/nyckks.600x600.il.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368352 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 14:07:12 +0000 Alba4 2368352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I don't think I felt guilty per se...more thankful that I had my LO and could celebrate him. My first loss was hardest because it was before my son. My second loss was sad too, but I felt easily distracted by my toddler. </p> <p>Losses suck no matter what. I'm sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368336 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 13:58:49 +0000 winniebee 2368336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: My pre-LO loss definitely hurt the most, I hear you there. I"m sorry for yours too :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368326 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 13:54:39 +0000 catlady 2368326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You should definitely not feel guilty for feeling sad. That being said, I am like the opposite. I was devastated after my first loss (before LO). Just had a second loss last month and it didn't hit me nearly as hard, probably because I was so busy with LO. Makes me feel guilty for not feeling as much grief for the second one. Ugh loss is hard no matter what. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368297 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 13:42:51 +0000 Ash 2368297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You definitely have every right to feel sad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368294 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 13:40:36 +0000 regberadaisy 2368294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I think you have every right to feel sad. It doesn't matter if you have zero kids or ten. A child lost, is still a child lost. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368224 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:59:47 +0000 winniebee 2368224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: That's such a beautiful way of looking at it. I'm so glad you are ok!</p> <p>@pwnstar: I'm so sorry for your loss :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368218 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:57:25 +0000 gingerbebe 2368218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I lost 2 before DS and I basically feel I have 3 kids, but 2 are in heaven waiting for me. Getting pregnant twice in under a year exacerbated a brain tumor I didn't know I had and had it not been for those pregnancies, I wouldn't have been diagnosed when I did. Turned out the tumor was also affecting my hormones, so I credit my 2 little girls for helping get their brother here safely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368211 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:51:37 +0000 pwnstar 2368211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Because my LO is truly the light of my life. Also because for the longest time we were sure we were one and done. I had an early loss this month, and it hit me so much harder than I thought possible. </p> <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this again. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-about-being-sad-over-losses-if-you-already-have-a-lo#post-2368205 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:46:43 +0000 winniebee 2368205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've now had 3 losses. That's weird to see in writing. One before LO1 and two since LO2. All early losses. I feel like I don't have a right to feel sad about the losses because I have two beautiful, healthy little boys. </p> <p>Did/does anyone else feel this way? </p>