https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 11:56:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569786 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 14:46:59 +0000 Bubbles 2569786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If we had a family thing planned and then I decided not to go I would feel a bit guilty - probs just because I don't like it when people change plans on me!<br /> But I don't feel guilty at all about taking a little time to myself here and there and leaving DH with both kids (2.5 and 3 months). I think I would if I worked, but I'm a sahm so I know they get more than enough of my company! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569771 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 14:35:54 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2569771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Heck no! I need time to decompress plus it's important to have one on one bonding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569769 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 14:34:31 +0000 catgirl 2569769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always feel guilty until I am actually taking my break. The lead up kills me every time. We don't live near family, don't really have the budget for a regular babysitter, and DH works weird hours. As another poster said when I take a break it just puts more on DH which is what I actually feel guilty about, I don't feel bad about leaving DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569764 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 14:30:11 +0000 Purpledaisy 2569764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, never. We both give each other plenty of breaks. However, I do work part time so I feel that I spend plenty of time at home. I might feel differently if I worked full time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569602 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 11:20:01 +0000 looch 2569602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I feel guilty, but I still do it because I have to for my health. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569599 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 11:18:09 +0000 LuLu Mom 2569599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, we both take breaks, it makes us better parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569540 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 10:25:24 +0000 magnoliamama42 2569540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel guilty ALL THE TIME. I feel like, if I had time for therapy, I should probably be going just for this!</p> <p>When I take time for myself, it means I'm putting more work on my husband, or someone else. I feel guilty for running necessary errands after work or on the weekend without the LO, for taking a shower when she's awake. When she first started daycare as a 2 month old, I felt guilty during my lunch breaks. Because I knew she would be much happier in her mama's arms, but there I was not working just eating a sandwich ... Even though she's a year old now, I sometimes still feel guilty for enjoying a lunch break.</p> <p>I have a problem. It's caused resentment, because I project my feelings a lot, and it's not fair to my husband. I did not see this coming at all - no one talked to me about "mom guilt" before I had my baby.</p> <p>I take breaks, I do what I gotta do, but the guilt eats away at me constantly. It's something I really need to work through. Especially before we decide to have another kid! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569321 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 04:26:02 +0000 Cherrybee 2569321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel very guilty but not because I'm missing out on quality family time, its because I feel like I'm putting pressure on my husband and taking liberties. We are both on the go constantly - I do most of the child related stuff and most of the housework (I'm on maternity leave), but he works long hours and, when he's home, does 50% of the child wrangling. He doesn't get a break, neither do I. If I let him take both kids away for a period of time, I would have to do the same for him - and I neeeeeed that 50% time!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2569313 Fri, 17 Jun 2016 02:16:11 +0000 Boogs 2569313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. But I feel soooo much better after I've had a good break. When too much time goes where I don't get a break, I can feel myself not being a great parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568976 Thu, 16 Jun 2016 13:22:18 +0000 hellobeeboston 2568976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568944 Thu, 16 Jun 2016 12:50:30 +0000 Mama Bird 2568944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I don't see the kids enough as it is. But I haven't gotten a solid nights sleep in almost a year, so sometimes I just need a rest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568938 Thu, 16 Jun 2016 12:42:04 +0000 Lilbear 2568938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel guilty right now, only because we have a newborn with a mommy preference. If I take a break, DH is juggling 2 kids on his own and the baby is a bit of a handful for him (since he can't just throw boobs at him like I can lol). I went back to work this week, which has forced DH and LO2 to find their groove when I'm not around, and things have been okay so far. I'll probably start feeling okay with leaving to go running or do quick errands sometime near the end of this month.</p> <p>Lo1 is 3 and the baby is only 2.5 months old right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568925 Thu, 16 Jun 2016 12:27:26 +0000 Alivoo01 2568925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All the time, but sometimes, I really need that alone time. Even if it's just 30 minutes to breathe and not stress/worry over the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568671 Thu, 16 Jun 2016 08:34:06 +0000 snowjewelz 2568671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll be the minority to say that I do! </p> <p>It's hard for me to shake the guilt b/c I WOH so I feel like I barely see DD at all... I try to just soak up anything I can get pre and post work. So even if I'm exhausted I most likely woulds till force myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568508 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 21:38:39 +0000 youboots 2568508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes. But it's good for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568506 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 21:36:53 +0000 avivoca 2568506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I need some time to focus on being J rather than Mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568458 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 20:39:11 +0000 catomd00 2568458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really. If I do it's for a split second than I'm over it and enjoying my rare alone time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568429 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 20:09:06 +0000 gingerbebe 2568429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, I'm an introvert and if I don't have enough decompression time alone, it makes me a crappier mom and wife. I also have a newborn right now so I have even less time to myself. I feel bad about not spending more time with my toddler as a result - he's in daycare full-time still and DH is his default parent while I tend to the baby - but I take solace in the fact that I'm really happy and engaged when I AM with the toddler and that in the long run my 21 month old wont remember the brief period I was constantly holed up in my room breastfeeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568401 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 19:52:23 +0000 catlady 2568401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, but I'm trying to get over it. I have been feeling so off lately, and I think a part of it was not getting enough time with friends. This week I decided to be pro-active about it so I went out after work with co-workers today and it was a huge mood booster. I'm sure I'm a better parent and spouse when I'm happy so I think it was worth it. Plus I even made it back in time for LO's bath and bedtime. It's amazing what a couple hours can do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568400 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 19:50:57 +0000 petitenoisette 2568400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the situation you described, yes, I could imagine feeling a little guilty or sad not going with them to the park. I don't like to miss out on too much quality time. </p> <p>That being sad, I take a little break most nights while my DH brings LO upstairs to get ready for bed and they play in her room for about 15 minutes. Do not feel guilty about that one bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568398 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 19:50:02 +0000 Mae 2568398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As long as I feel I'm spending enough time with LO I don't feel guilty. On weekdays I feel like I never see her enough so I prob wouldn't duck out on a weeknight. But on weekends? Totally! (and I would on weekdays too if I worked less) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568392 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 19:42:16 +0000 Smurfette 2568392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! I went away last weekend with girlfriends and it was much needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568380 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 19:19:46 +0000 Foodnerd81 2568380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes I do even though I know I shouldn't. We have been having a tough couple of weeks so I'm taking whatever I can. I will be a better mom and wife and person with more time to be totally off for a few minutes. </p> <p>To that effect we just hired a weekly babysitter to come for a few hours. She might just take the toddler or take care of both, but I think the price for her to come is worth it if it means I have more patience and am not yelling and fed up all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568376 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 19:15:05 +0000 SweetiePie 2568376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel sorta guilty, but not enough to not do it :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568371 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 19:08:15 +0000 atoz 2568371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, I feel guilty. But I also know it makes me a better mom (and wife). Not to mention just plain happier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568369 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 19:02:20 +0000 yoursilverlining 2568369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! Everyone except martyrs needs a break now and again. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568366 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 18:59:51 +0000 Truth Bombs 2568366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I work full time, I'm 7 months into exclusively breastfeeding our second, I'm default parent and manage things like bills, meal planning, the family's schedule, etc. so when he wants to take the kids out of the house and give me a break, I don't feel guilty a bit.</p> <p>ETA: I feel like my post makes my husband sound a deadbeat which he is so not. He just works really long hours which provides very well for our family, but leaves most of the home things to fall on my shoulders, and though I work fewer hours than him, I still put in at least 40 hours a week, so I get burned out and I'm happy to take a break when I get one, and he's happy to give them to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568347 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 18:27:11 +0000 KT326 2568347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. But my son also has a huge mommy preference so whenever I can get him to do something with just DH I am extremely happy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568343 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 18:22:03 +0000 MaisyMay 2568343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, but I know that I am a better parent and wife if I take breaks, same with I am better if I work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-guilty-taking-breaks#post-2568335 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 18:11:20 +0000 Bao 2568335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH just got home from work (7pm) and we have been planning to go to the park this evening, but since he worked so late I want to stick around the house and just relax. Part of me wants to go and spend time with him and the girls but the other part of me wants to get some time to myself. Does anyone else ever feel guilty in situations like this? </p>