https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 23:51:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2391523 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 21:27:07 +0000 BandDmommy 2391523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: but she's still getting gifts and actually more gifts. We started gift exchange to cut down on costs. She went ahead and bought gifts for everyone, and said she planned to do the same again. Not sure how she can feel left out when she's getting a gift from everyone. Honestly I wish she would participate and not buy everyone a gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2391507 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 21:17:01 +0000 Greentea 2391507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like she is just needing a little extra attention/ love. I would do your best to be patient. Maybe she felt sensitive after the exchange ordeal and thought she was reaching out to overlook it and still feel included (by texting). I don't think it is ever a good idea to leave someone out of an exchange, even if they have their own interpretation of it. Good luck! I'd just try to be patient while honest and reasonable.</p> <p>I grew up with a mum that was impossible to please, so I know it can be exhausting. People have problems, just do your best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390541 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 11:20:00 +0000 Anagram 2390541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BandDmommy: After your husbands convo with her, I would just ignore from here on out. He deals with her, end of story. I would also be hurt (I am not aggressive at all and would die if someone were mean to me like that over text), but at some point you just have to give up on her. Clearly, she's crazy.</p> <p>RE: the Christmas exchange. In my family (I am one of 6 kids and most of us have our own kids, so too many ppl to buy gifts for), we do "dirty santa" but with real gifts instead of gag gifts. However, my mom (widowed) plays dirty santa with us AND we all get her gifts and she gets all of us gifts. But the rest of us don't get gifts for each other, if that makes sense.</p> <p>Having said that, my mom is normal and if she were feeling "left out" of something, she would just cheerily call up one of us (not our spouses, good lord!) and say she also wants to play, no big deal. So, still your MIL is crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390434 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 10:33:39 +0000 daniellemybelle 2390434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's hard. I struggle with really trying to please my in-laws, a lot more than my own family, so in some ways I create my own stress. It sounds like your MIL is not being very reasonable which makes it worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390253 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 09:09:44 +0000 BandDmommy 2390253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: My husband asked her to stop sending me so many text messages because of all reasons I listed above and that set her off again. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390247 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 09:08:04 +0000 rachiecakes 2390247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ugh, so sorry!<br /> my mom complains about Christmas every year, it's too much, she doesn't have the energy, etc., etc. No matter what you suggest - someone else hosting, catering, cleaning service, etc. there's always an excuse not to - she doesn't want to travel, she likes cooking her own food, she doesn't want cleaners in her house.. can't effing win and have to hear it all over and over every year. </p> <p>tell her you were on a conference call? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390243 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 09:07:30 +0000 Ash 2390243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BrandNewMom: mine too!</p> <p>I'm sorry she's so exhausting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390208 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 08:50:19 +0000 Adira 2390208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, she sounds exhausting. Can you have your husband just deal with her? I'd just ignore her tantrums if you can! Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390207 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 08:49:01 +0000 BrandNewMom 2390207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugggghhh I'm so sorry. At least my crappy in laws just pretend I don't exist! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-like-you-can-never-win-with-your-ils-vent#post-2390194 Wed, 16 Dec 2015 08:43:39 +0000 BandDmommy 2390194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with my MIL. Last year, we did a gift exchange with DH"s side of the family. So, in theory you only buy 1 gift and receive 1 gift. MIL did her own thing and bought everyone gifts. So, this year, we all decided to get her a separate gift and do the gift exchange with just DH, his siblings and their SO. So, MIL writes me yesterday and tells me her feelings are hurt she was left out of the gift exchange. Not sure, why because she didn't participate last year (on her own accord) and she is getting gifts from everyone. Then she followed up by texting me 20 times yesterday on the status of her decorating. When I didn't respond (because I was working!) she went off on how I didn't give a crap about her emotions. Gah.. I have 2 kids, I work from home 30+ hours a week, I'm pregnant (high risk with weekly dr apt).. Why can't she give me a freaking break???? </p>