https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 10:25:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810300 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 18:11:21 +0000 lovehoneybee 1810300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I ask what I can bring, and if they say nothing I bring a bottle of wine (and explicitly tell them it's for whenever...no pressure to open it that night). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810295 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 18:09:02 +0000 photojane 1810295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will usually bring a dessert unless they ask me not to bring anything. I feel like there's no such thing as too much dessert anyway! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810277 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 17:52:24 +0000 JerricaBenton 1810277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd always bring something. If the host specified not to, I'd bring something for them for later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810271 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 17:39:59 +0000 sslm 1810271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would never bring good without asking the host in advance. I always bring wine or flowers! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810211 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:50:41 +0000 sandy 1810211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: yeah I would never show up with a dish if the hostess told me he/she has everything covered. I can't even believe someone would bring a dish when told not to...weird. Especially something like a sushi platter... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810204 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:45:07 +0000 Purpledaisy 1810204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I almost always offer to bring a dessert and they almost always say yes. If I know that I won't have time to make something I will skip asking about dessert and just bring a bottle of wine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810203 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:44:51 +0000 looch 1810203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I ask if I can bring anything. If the host says no, I show up with a bottle of liquor (never wine) or a potted plant,flowers. Sometimes I bring artisanal olive oil and vinegar. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810200 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:41:03 +0000 Anya 1810200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, that's rude to bring your own food especially if you specifically stated it wasn't a potluck. The fruitcake I could maybe see as an appropriate hostess gift if it was packaged and you could have it later. A hot dish, definitely not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810199 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:39:29 +0000 .twist. 1810199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: We do this with our immediate family too. But there are times where I know I want to serve a really nice dinner party where it's 100% just enjoyment for my guests. I want to make all the dishes and have them relax, you know? So I can see, in that scenario, how someone bringing a bunch of food would be super annoying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810143 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:06:32 +0000 youboots 1810143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Usually we bring wine or flowers. I make candles seasonally so sometimes I bring a candle in a teacup or something cute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810141 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:04:34 +0000 sandy 1810141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always offer and bring at least a hostess gift (chocolates, flowers or wine) if they insist that I don't need to bring anything. </p> <p>In my circle of close friend the hosting family makes the main dish and others supplement with sides and appetizers so it's not as big of a burden to host and that way we can get together more frequently. Other friends that we see once a year or so usually provide everything and we do so the same when we host them </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810115 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:48:28 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 1810115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get annoyed when people do that too, but I read some brilliant advice from Mrs. Manners on how to handle it - put on a big smile, say "Thank you so much! It was so nice of you to bring us something to enjoy tomorrow after all our hard work today." and put the dish in the fridge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810093 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:40:43 +0000 My Only Sunshine 1810093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree, this is weird! I always bring a hostess gift - wine or fancy olive oil are my go-to's. But I wouldn't bring food with the intention that it be served at the party if I hadn't been asked to bring something.</p> <p>My husband's family all does this though. Last time we had my in-laws over for dinner my mother-in-law brought chili! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810081 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:35:05 +0000 Alivoo01 1810081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always ask, and if anything, we bring dessert. Who can say no to dessert right???? :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810063 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:26:04 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1810063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only feel obligated to bring a gift like wine. It's up to the host wether to serve it. I make sure they know the gift is for them and it's not meant to be apart of the meal. There have been times when people bring a "gift" only to ask to drink their wine/specific alcohol or where a plate of this or that can go on the table.</p> <p>Bringing additional food or drink to be served during the meal undercuts what the host already purchased, prepared, and planned to serve. I think hosts would rather have left over because they over estimated how much everyone would eat rather than people choosing to eat someone else's (uninvited) dish. Besides unless someone is so familiar with your kitchen or bar area having to now accomodate their addition to the meal is a hassle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810042 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:19:19 +0000 dolphin 1810042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, I always ask what can I bring and if they say nothing than I bring wine. I would be annoyed too if guests brought food without my knowledge. They should at least give you a heads up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810019 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:11:51 +0000 snowjewelz 1810019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not if it's not a potluck! If I feel like I must bring something I'd ask the host so I don't mess up their plans. Or just bring bottle of wine/flower arrangement, fruit basket.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810008 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:09:03 +0000 raspberries 1810008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'd only feel obligated to bring something if I had a weird dietary requirement - otherwise, if the host explicitly does not ask for food, I'm just bringing my eating pants. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810003 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:07:58 +0000 Freckles 1810003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh btw, i don't count beer/wine as we usually bring something for the hosts as well!</p> <p>@autumnlove: If people offer to bring dessert then at least i have a heads up. I normally don't get annoyed but i was frustrated that two people brought all this food. One of the girls once brought a platter of sushi...umm, hello! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1810001 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:07:05 +0000 sunny 1810001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the invite doesn't specify, then I usually try to call or email and ask if they would like me to bring a dessert or appy. Otherwise we will bring some wine or a cider. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809990 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:02:15 +0000 simplyfelicity 1809990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I bring wine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809987 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:00:41 +0000 blackbird 1809987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always ask if i can bring something. If I'm told no, I bring wine or flowers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809977 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:58:41 +0000 DigAPony 1809977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's so weird--I would never bring food unless it was a potluck/prior arrangement. In our circle if it's not a potluck then you bring beer, wine, or some booze to share. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809976 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:58:12 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1809976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't bring plates of food (unless cleared with the hostess first) but I also try to not show up empty handed either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809965 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:55:51 +0000 Smurfette 1809965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always bring wine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809964 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:55:02 +0000 .twist. 1809964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always ask if I can bring something, and if not, then I bring wine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809962 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:53:38 +0000 Andrea 1809962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is polite to bring something, but if the invite said no food then I would bring something else ... like wine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809959 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:53:14 +0000 regberadaisy 1809959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never show up to someone's home empty handed! If the host was very explicit then we would bring a beverage of some kind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809958 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:52:40 +0000 meredithNYC 1809958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope - usually just a bottle of wine for the hostess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-obligated-to-bring-food-to-a-dinner-party#post-1809957 Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:52:29 +0000 Mamaof2 1809957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>usually if they tell me not to bring anything I bring wine - they can use it at dinner or save for later! </p>