https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 11:02:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores/page/2#post-916026 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 13:56:02 +0000 tequiero21 916026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well for us, it works out that way. He works all day doing really stressful stuff and I'm supposed to do most of the chores. I ask him to take out the garbage and he always does the BBQ tho. If I need help, he'll always help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores/page/2#post-915991 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 13:48:46 +0000 mrskc 915991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No! I don't think it should matter how much each person makes. I think it comes down to who has more time. My DH leaves for work later and gets home earlier than me so he's always done more chores than me on weekdays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores/page/2#post-915963 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 13:41:10 +0000 mrs. wagon 915963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started to think that maybe if you make significantly more than your spouse, maybe that would give you more say over whether or not you hire a cleaning service. But then I realized, no! That too is ridiculous.</p> <p>No matter how much or little Wagon Sr. or I make in comparison to each other, we will always work together for household tasks. And if we decide to hire a cleaning service (which we have done in the past... boy, do I miss that) it's also a joint decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores/page/2#post-915901 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 13:29:41 +0000 MrsF 915901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way! I think whoever has the time and energy should do the chores. DH and I are pretty good at giving each other a break when we need it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores/page/2#post-915885 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 13:26:51 +0000 deactivated_account 915885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I love the thought of "desire, ability and convenience." really think that who ever has the time should be the one doing the chores. Both people generally have some amount of time so both should be doing some amount of the chores. But if one person "desires" to have one particular chore done, then he/she should do it! I like to pick up around the house all day, every day. I don't nag DH to pick up his stuff. I just do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores/page/2#post-915859 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 13:22:33 +0000 Mrsbells 915859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No i dont think the amount of chores should be in ratio to the amount earned </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores/page/2#post-915858 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 13:22:30 +0000 78h2o 915858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't make more, but if I did, I would still expect to do my fair share. Though, if I was working crazy hours or something, then maybe not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores/page/2#post-915850 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 13:20:32 +0000 heffalump 915850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. When I worked I made way less money and we were pretty equal with chores. Now I make no money and do a lot more chores, but that's because I'm a SAHM and here more often to do them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915607 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:30:47 +0000 Adira 915607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTiz: Maybe you can convince him to hire a housecleaner since he's not willing to help out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915606 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:29:21 +0000 MrsTiz 915606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I've tried the "I can't cook dinner tonight because I don't have any dishes to cook in"...it doesn't work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915605 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:29:05 +0000 doxielove 915605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>More money? No. More time? Yes! </p> <p>I think the *general* viewpoint is you work more hours=you make more money. (Obviously there are exceptions to this!) I think that's why some people may equate the 2. I think having more time to do chores is what it boils down to. </p> <p>I'm ashamed to say, though, that sometimes I do feel this way :sad: I make about 2.5x more than my husband so sometimes...if I'm PMSing...or had a bad day at work...or whatever...I will think to myself *I shouldn't have to cook dinner...I make more $!* &lt;&lt;&lt;shameful, I know!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915599 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:27:25 +0000 Adira 915599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTiz: Ugh, that sucks! I'm sorry he's not more helpful. This would drive me BONKERS. Maybe you should start serving his food on a dirty plate and be all "You said you were going to do the dishes, remember? It's not my fault these are still dirty." :P I wish I had some advice! *hug* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915586 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:23:51 +0000 MrsTiz 915586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: hahah omg yes! He cleans the stove one time and act like he cleans ALL THE TIME. I wrote out a list of all of the chores and wrote who does what next to it, he just kept saying "that's not fair, that's BS I cooked lasagna 3 months ago" haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915581 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:22:44 +0000 MrsTiz 915581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I ask him literally every day. I used to be vague so it was more like "Uhg, the house is disgusting. We really need to do dishes" while I was cooking and he never took the hint. Now I say "Will you do the dishes?" he says "I will later" and never does. It probably angers me more than it should but he just.doesn't.care. It's carried over into me getting mad at him for little things now because of his pure lack of help and even worse, lack of acknowledgement for all I do.</p> <p>I've tried to ask him directly, yell at him, hint at it, ignore it and see if he'll do it on his own when it gets nasty/messy, and now i'm just back to doing it myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915580 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:22:38 +0000 PurplePeony 915580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTiz: Sorry you're in the same boat as me, it's the most frustrating thing. I've tried keeping track of the hours I put in cooking and cleaning to justify my resentment when we have those oh-so-fun "come to Jesus" talks...he just whines that it's not fair to keep score and I don't appreciate the things he does. Um, if there was anything to appreciate, please be assured I would do so!</p> <p>@Adira: I ask him all the time. When things boil over and I get Really Mad, he will pitch in more for about two weeks and then it goes back to the usual. So I end up feeling like a stereotypical nagging wife when really, it's just not fair that he has hours and hours more free time each week than I do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915569 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:18:49 +0000 Adira 915569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: @MrsTiz: Out of curiosity, do you ladies ask your husbands to help out and they just don't? I know my husband can't see the mildew stains in the toilet (no, he literally CAN see them, he just doesn't care), but if I ask him to clean them, he will. The first time I asked, I DID have to show him how to do it, but now he knows and can do it. He doesn't take initiative, but will definitely do it if asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915567 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:18:28 +0000 lovehoneybee 915567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Money no, hours yes. If DH and I were both working outside of the home and he worked significantly more hours than me it would make sense to me that I would pick up a little more slack at home. And vice versa. </p> <p>But just amount made? Nah. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915563 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:17:41 +0000 MrsH 915563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We both work hard although i make more, split chores although he does much more outside than I do (he likes to mow the grass etc) and we have a cleaning lady to help out every other week because we do both work hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915560 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:16:19 +0000 lawbee11 915560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. DH makes more than twice what I do, and he does way more chores than me! He has a very flexible schedule and works from home 2-3 days/week, so he has the ability to do the dishes/laundry/vacuum during the day while I'm at work. And he doesn't mind doing it--it's just what logistically makes the most sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915559 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:16:03 +0000 hilsy85 915559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that since DH brings in actual income from his job and has a work outside the home job, whereas my job is a SAHM , I should do more of the chores, especially because doing chores kind of falls under the SAHM umbrella, IMO. Now, I don't necessarily think it's fair that that means that I do most of the chores ALL The time (nights, weekends, vacations, etc). but that's generally how it is :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915557 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:15:26 +0000 Rubies 915557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it should matter what the amount of money is. I do think that it boils down to time. DH works longer hours than I do so to me it's just a given that I should pick up a little more slack. By the time I get home from picking up my daughter, feeding her and then putting her to bed, there is still another hour or so before DH comes home. In that time I try to do some dishes, prep some dinner, or just pick up around the house. Similarly, there are days when I have to work late and DH is home early and he does the same for me. IN GENERAL, though, I would say that it just depends on who has more time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915548 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:13:17 +0000 MrsTiz 915548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: I'm pretty sure we're married to the same man. When DH and I first moved in together I thought it was fun to play the housewife. That got old REAL quick, but he never forgot it and never learned how to do anything. DH does absolutely nothing inside of our home (not exaggerating, at all) and it has caused some serious resentment issues. We both work 40 hours a week and work at the same place, so no one has a longer commute. Uhg. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915533 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:09:12 +0000 justdarling 915533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband does more chores than I do. The reason for this is because he is a teacher and works less than I do - currently he is on summer break so he is my house-husband for the summer. During the school year he gets home at 3:30 and I work until 6:30 or 7 at night. Even though I make more money, that did not determine who does more chores. We decided it based on who has more time to do the chores. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915527 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:08:11 +0000 PurplePeony 915527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oooh, contentious issue here. One of the biggest mistakes I made when DH (though at the time, fiance) and I moved in together was taking on the majority of the household work, as I was in law school and DH was helping support me. I felt like it was my way of contributing to the household because I wasn't bringing in any income. Fast-forward to after I graduated and found a job, which paid about half of what he was making, and I still ended up doing most everything. And now that we moved for a job that makes him much happier but pays less than his old job, and I found a job that pays more than my previous one, we're still not totally even income-wise but are reasonably close. And I work 40 hours per week plus a 40-minute commute in the afternoon (it's less than half that in the morning due to traffic patterns) while he works about 25 hours with a somewhat shorter commute, and I STILL do about 85% of the housework.</p> <p>If I could do it over again, I NEVER would have let him get used to me doing more around the house. It's like he doesn't even have a clue that things need to be done (hello, see that ring around the tub? It's nasty and it's not going away on its own...) and if he does see stuff, he "doesn't know how" to clean it and needs me to show him. It's like he has a total lack of common sense when it comes to anything house-related. It would have been so much easier to create reasonable long-term expectations back before we were married, much harder to change them after the fact.</p> <p>Ugh. Sorry for the rant, but I get so annoyed with both myself and him when I think of this... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915480 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 11:54:09 +0000 deerylou 915480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely not. My husband makes more than I do, but we're both currently employed full-time, and hold similar hours; we tend to split the chores evenly. I expect to go part-time after my maternity leave, but with a child on board, 50/50 still seems more than fair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915464 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 11:49:05 +0000 mediagirl 915464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. We do equal work around the house, no matter what we make. Now, if one of us stayed home, I would guess that person would spend more time on household chores than the other but they would have more time to do so.</p> <p>We both leave the house and arrive home around the same time each day so it's not like either of us are in the house more than the other. This is the weirdest thing I have ever heard of when it comes to splitting up household chores.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915458 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 11:47:02 +0000 Lozza 915458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH currently both makes more money and totally does way more around the house than I do, so nobody tell him about this idea. :)<br /> (I spend about 4 more hours in the car per week on my commute, so I feel like that should and does factor into things)<br /> We've gone back and forth- there was a time when he worked less and did fewer chores than I did, and now he works the same number of hours and does more chores than I do. </p> <p>If as a family we make more money, we do fewer chores since we can afford to outsource more things :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915431 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 11:40:23 +0000 MrsSCB 915431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way! More money does not mean you're working harder so I don't think it's relevant to who should do more chores. We both spend the same number of hours at work, we both work hard, we do the same amount of work at home. Now I say this as the person who will probably always earn less just because of the nature of our fields, but I would feel the same way if things were reversed. On the other hand, if my DH worked 50 hours a week and I worked 30, I would definitely want to take on more of the housework. But that would have nothing to do with how much we were making. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915430 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 11:40:11 +0000 LazyLightning 915430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel this way but in a different way, if that makes sense. I think I make enough to not have to do chores... So we got a maid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-feel-that-if-you-make-more-money-you-shouldnt-have-to-do-as-many-chores#post-915418 Tue, 09 Jul 2013 11:36:47 +0000 Modern Daisy 915418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, yes and no actually. I think if one spouse is working a more demanding job that requires a higher level of stress and longer hours to earn more $ (or even the same or less $) then maybe that person should be given a little break on household chores. </p> <p>I've always had better hours and less stress at my job than DH does, even though up until a few months ago I was actually making more $ than him. Because of this I naturally pick up more tasks during the week to lighten his load since I get home usually 1-2 hours before him at night. It didn't matter to me at all that I was making more $ it was more about our work/home balance required to succeed at our jobs - which he clearly has done! </p>