https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 19:47:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-find-yourself-comparing-your-niecesnephews#post-102494 Tue, 27 Mar 2012 06:38:17 +0000 hilsy85 102494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally do compare our niece/nephew on my side to the nieces on DH's side..however, I think in their case it's more due to different parenting styles by my sister/DH's brother...his brother lets the kids get away with murder, while my sister is maybe a little too strict, if anything (but generally much better at setting boundaries, I think). You can totally see the effect it's had on the kids' behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-find-yourself-comparing-your-niecesnephews#post-101905 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 10:36:08 +0000 Adira 101905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only have one nephew (and soon one niece), but I DO tend to compare my nephew and my best friend's daughter to each other. My nephew (SIL's son) is 7 and really a spoiled brat. He cheats at games, throws hissy fits, and generally just has to have his way. He's rude, obnoxious, and generally drives me crazy. And then my best friend's daughter, who is only 2.5, is the sweetest, most polite little thing EVER. She always says "please" and "thank you" and is just such a darling to have around! I know boys and girls are different, but I think it's says a lot that a 2.5 year old has more patience and politeness than a 7 year old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-find-yourself-comparing-your-niecesnephews#post-101866 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 09:54:29 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 101866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do compare them, but the only niece and nephews I have are on my husbands side. His sister's kids are a nightmare while his brother's son is an angel, so I completely know what you're talking about. It's tough because I want to say something SO bad, but I can't because it's not my place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-find-yourself-comparing-your-niecesnephews#post-101859 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 09:48:02 +0000 Andrea 101859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes, that sounds like some drama. It sounds hard to navigate the boundaries ... </p> <p>My SIL makes everything into a competition between our kids so we can't help but compare. If she didn't bring it up, I really wouldn't be interested. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-find-yourself-comparing-your-niecesnephews#post-101775 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 08:12:20 +0000 regberadaisy 101775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chopsuey119:<br /> They do but obviously not enough. They complain to us that my MIL is sometimes too strict with her....ummm she obviously needs it!</p> <p>@artbee:<br /> I had to chuckle a little! hehe </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-find-yourself-comparing-your-niecesnephews#post-101420 Sun, 25 Mar 2012 14:04:27 +0000 heffalump 101420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far we only have one niece. I do compare my husband's cousin's children though. Some are just so sweet and well behaved.... and lets just say the others almost scared me out of having children, but luckily I was already pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-find-yourself-comparing-your-niecesnephews#post-101416 Sun, 25 Mar 2012 13:53:22 +0000 chopsuey 101416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes to your DH's niece! Her parents don't do anything when she behaves this way?</p> <p>I don't have nieces to compare since both of my sisters aren't married. But! I do tend to compare my LO with DH's niece. They're 2.5 months apart. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-find-yourself-comparing-your-niecesnephews#post-101414 Sun, 25 Mar 2012 13:48:53 +0000 regberadaisy 101414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Between the two of us we have 3 nieces and 2 nephews (soon to be 3 nephews!!! YAY). Niece #1 (8) is my brothers. Niece #2 (4) &amp; #3 (2) are my husbands. Both nephews (8, 4) are my brother #2s.</p> <p>We genuinely really love all of them so so very much. </p> <p>But if I have to be completely honest I/we often find ourselves comparing them.</p> <p>My niece and nephews are just SO different from the other 2 nieces.<br /> We are constantly amazed at how sweet, motherly and genuinely a good human being niece #1 is. She is only 8 but she has ALWAYS put others before her. Since they are close in age her and my nephews are more like siblings than cousins. She is always taking care of them. If they are sick she will go get them tissues. When they are out and about even when they are not together they always ask if they can get something for the other. Niece #1's mom (my SIL) is currently pregnant and she helps her get out of bed/couch and gives her foot massages! She does this w/o my SIL asking. She is SUCH a sweetheart. I've just never met a kids who cared so much about other people before herself. When I talk to her on the phone she asks me "goo jie (aunt in chinese) are you feeling well?" after she found out I was pregnant.<br /> My nephews too are also such sweethearts and care about other people. Are not selfish. Don't get me wrong they act out like other kids! But you generally only have to ask them once to cut it out and they listen.</p> <p>My husband's nieces on the other hand are a total different story. They ARE good kids. The older one though is just more selfish. Case in point: when they were all here visiting my mom peeled clementines and oranges for the kids to snack on. She loved the clementines so while she is still eating she takes ALL The clementines off the plate and puts it in front of her. So I ask her A why do you have all the clementines in front of you. She said because I like it. And I said well maybe the other kids like them too and want to eat them as well. She goes but I really like them, they will eat them all.<br /> She's also starting to develop a really bad lying streak. Now, I know all kids go through the lying stage. But she was here for 2 weeks and every single time we caught her in a lie she will refuse to admit it. And adamant that she was NOT lying.<br /> She's starting to also get really conceited. Constantly saying she is the BEST at everything even when she did not know what that thing was!<br /> There were two occasions where she smacked my dog hard and various other occasions where she was really rough with her. The first time she hit her I caught her and told her she should NOT hit dogs. The second time the grandma caught her and she was sent to bed early. And the big trip planned the next day was cancelled because she refused to apologize to my husband and I for hitting our dog. Seriously, if our dog was any less good natured she could have gotten nipped! Our poor dog just stands there when she hugs her rough at the neck and both times that she smacked her! The next day she pretended like she did not know why the trip was cancelled. When we explained to her why she knew what she did was wrong but yet she did not want to apologize! She has been around other dogs. My ILs have 3 dogs and she had a dog when she was younger so she knows it's wrong.<br /> My MIL is really worried about the fact that she hits animals.<br /> I'm more worried about the ego and lying!</p> <p>I don't know. I feel horrible comparing them all. But maybe because niece #1 and nephews are SO well behaved and such great kids that next to them everything niece #2 does seem so much worse.<br /> The other thing is I/we know where we stand in terms of disciplining my brother's kids. With his brother's kids we do NOT feel comfortable at all disciplining them. There's a line we do not cross.</p> <p>Sometimes i wonder if we should have told BIL how his daughter behaved when she was here. Rather than say oh she did pretty good. Granted, she was much better this time than she was the last time she was here. I have seen improvements in her tantrums. But they lying and ego really worries me.</p> <p>Does anyone else (unwillingly) compare their nieces and nephews?? [It makes me feel like a horrible aunt!!!] </p>