https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 07:35:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-478709 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 17:18:51 +0000 SugarplumsMom 478709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, it's more about time, effort and a little care! For instance, I know a certain someone that never even sent me a txt msg or email regarding my wedding and when I gave birth, yet she expects me to bend over backwards for her. In the past, I'd be there for her without even thinking, but now that LO is here @JerricaBenton said it best, I value my time more. </p> <p>I guess I still feel bad about it though ... and I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I feel like I'm not being a good friend, yet this person has never ever reciprocated in the same way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-478668 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 17:01:14 +0000 Bao 478668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to, and still do, but lately it's been irritating me more. I feel like I am always giving in to things I really don't want to do, because that's the type of person I am. Now that LO is here, DH has been better about taking a step back and saying no sometimes, for the both of us. Now I need to get better at it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-478649 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:53:32 +0000 Rescuemom10 478649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am already starting to think about this as LO will be here SOON!!! I am always going out of my way. I know I give more than I recieve and as I have gotten older I try to not "put myself out" so much.<br /> Well I am due the ned of the month and then next month DH leaves for 1.5 yrs for Afghanistan. I know I can afford or possible do as much for people during that time. I feel its "my time" to call in for help and for my friends to be there for me more for once. May be an interesting 1.5 yrs. But I know things are about to really change. I think im due for a change. I have a feeling I am about to see who my true friends are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-478584 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:28:17 +0000 JerricaBenton 478584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to. I've had a fair amount of flaky friends in my life and I was always the one giving more of my time, attention, money, etc. I was always perceived to 'have it together' and would help a lot of friends through things but could never count on the same support. Same goes for gifts, sending birthday cards or even just texts. Somehow those people would always forget or be involved in some crazy crisis when it was my time. It's not the material stuff, but it just breeds bad feelings when you feel like you are not appreciated as much in a relationship. I'm still friends with a few people like that but since I got married I made a real effort to dial it back on my end. I value my own time more now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-478577 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:27:24 +0000 brownie 478577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: We also are doing some of this. One friend didn't make her son say thank you (and didn't thank us herself) for some gifts. And that was just too much for me (along with some other issues of course). So for christmas I didn't go all out for him and got the cheapest gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-478574 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:26:01 +0000 brownie 478574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a philosophy that at heart, we are all selfish. Everything we do is ultimately for ourselves. In some relationships, the good feelings that we get are good enough especially if financially things are reciprical. But as long as we are getting something from the relationship we are happy. In other relationships, it truly is only equal based on money. For example, I love buying gifts for people. I enjoy the act of finding the right gift and giving it. I may spend over the set dollar amount if I find the perfect gift. I get pleasure from getting the gift and more pleasure when the person likes it. They may in turn not give the same dollar value gift but that isn't an issue. Then there are those (my father) who I don't enjoy gifting and expect some sort of monetary equality. </p> <p>Now, I will caveat it with, at times, there is inequality in relationships. Sometimes I have more time to devote than the other person. This is normal. But I have to get something while in that inequality and ultimately it should even out. I always say if I am tugging at the relationship it has to go. I am just not interested in having the negativity that comes along with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-478543 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:14:28 +0000 Alivoo01 478543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We noticed this occurred with some of our friends so we started adjusting our gift giving based on their reciprocation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-478473 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:52:54 +0000 SugarplumsMom 478473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jessiejo17: That's awesome. It seems like the older we get, the harder it is to find friends that understand the meaning of give and take. </p> <p>One of my main issues now is how ppl can expect certain things from someone that they've never bothered doing themselves. Shrug. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-477523 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 10:34:31 +0000 LuLu Mom 477523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have realized I have less time for casual friendships and have invested myself in those friends who were there for me not only in pregnancy but also in the first few weeks of new motherhood/baby in NICU. I have a great group of friends who I think give and take equally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-more-than-you-receive#post-477508 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 10:29:11 +0000 SugarplumsMom 477508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With your friendships, do you find yourself giving more than you receive? Has it changed since having a LO?</p> <p>I'm a giver and it never bothered me in the past, but now that LO is here, time is much more precious and I find myself rethinking my friendships based on this. Friendships should have some sort of reciprocation, right? I told myself once LO was born that I would stop extending myself for ppl that don't give back. And yet, here I am again.</p> <p>Have you found yourself reevaluating your friendships since LO? Has your LO given you more reason to say "no" to takers that don't bother giving back? </p>