https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 29 May 2026 22:36:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849727 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 07:12:20 +0000 brownepiano 2849727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh and I have talked about this on and off but haven't implemented anything yet. I read Cheaper by the Dozen as a highschooler and always wished my parents would do big jobs like that (submit a bid for big jobs and get paid what you ask for... if it's the lowest bid) We had allowance on and off growing up. My brother never cared and always had a deficit. I cared and got my allowance most of the time. </p> <p>We're planning on having certain chores not tied to money and the monetary value assigned to bigger jobs that they can elect to do if they want to earn money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849708 Sun, 07 Oct 2018 22:43:37 +0000 Sams Mom 2849708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread sparked a conversation with my husband about what we will do with our son once he's of an appropriate age. Turns out we had drastically different models growing up.</p> <p>I was definitely the kid that was ok with missing out on $5 a week because I didn't clean my room. It was a constant battle, and eventually we compromised on it. But I also worked for my uncle every summer starting at 8 years old tearing down and rebuilding engines, so I learned saving and the value of money that way, and my mom gave up on me doing domestic labor. I did mow from about 8 years old on, and helped with laundry.</p> <p>My husband helped around the house but he never had an allowance (tied to chores or otherwise), he'd just ask his parents for money whenever he wanted it.</p> <p>So I think we're going to have expected chores that aren't tied to money with extra *bigger* jobs tied to money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849698 Sun, 07 Oct 2018 19:46:29 +0000 annem1990 2849698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our LO isn’t old enough yet, but I imagine we’ll do some sort of allowance. Our families don’t really give money as gifts so I think it’ll be important for us to show him how to use it. </p> <p>I like the idea of teaching him to save for toys. I don’t buy toys outside of Christmas and Birthday so if he wants something he’ll have to buy it. Considering no one else gives him money, an allowance will probably be the best option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849678 Sun, 07 Oct 2018 14:58:18 +0000 LemonLong 2849678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: Yep, we do it by week. I use the Rooster app and it is set to give them money every Sunday. That way I have an accounting of it so they don't need to carry their allowance with them all the time. I just debit whatever they buy from their account. I call it the Bank of Mom : )</p> <p>My 4 year old hasn't gotten upset about getting less, but the length of their timeouts are also based on their ages so they were used to the concept already. </p> <p>I can't take credit for the ideas- it's from the book 1-2-3 Magic. The discipline and reward system from that book has really been magic for us and the kids, especially for controlling my 4 year olds meltdowns. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849671 Sun, 07 Oct 2018 12:51:35 +0000 erinbaderin 2849671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonLong: I looooove this. Thanks for sharing such a great idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849666 Sun, 07 Oct 2018 11:54:30 +0000 crazydoglady 2849666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonLong: I am totally saving this idea. I'm assuming the allowance is per week? Does your younger child get upset that she gets less money? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849665 Sun, 07 Oct 2018 11:21:51 +0000 gotkimchi 2849665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonLong: that’s genius </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849664 Sun, 07 Oct 2018 11:16:52 +0000 LemonLong 2849664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I give my 4 and 5 year old girls an allowance. They get the number of dollars that match their age, so the amount will increase. The allowance isn't necessarily tied to doing chores BUT if they don't do their chores and I do it for them, then they have to pay me for the labor out of their allowance. So if I clean their room for them then they have to give me $1. They hate having to give me their money though, so I find it doesn't happen too often! They can use their allowance for toys, candy, or save up for a special event like going to Chuck E Cheese. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849582 Sat, 06 Oct 2018 11:43:02 +0000 looch 2849582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: That is a really good question and I have been thinking about it a lot.</p> <p>One way I try to teach my son about money is the concept that it isn't unlimited. There is a certain amount that is earned and you have to allocate it according to certain groups. My son doesn't have any idea what I make, but he does know that I need that money to pay for the mortgage for the house he lives in, the lease for the car that he rides in to go to school, the food that he eats and on and on. Then, there is some left over for having a bit of fun and that's is where he has a bit of choice in terms of how that money is spent. He might for example, get to choose between going out to eat for lunch, or buying a small lego kit. I don't think he needs to have "earned" that money from me by doing other than what he is currently doing, which is going to school. In my view, that is how he contributes in part. </p> <p>One other thing we do is let him have the change that we collect over the course of the year for a vacation spending fund, so we do let him have some money, just not that he earns for chores. He knows that he has that money to do his shopping and wouldn't you know, he actually said this past year that he wanted to check the prices on amazon before he bought a lego kit at one of the theme parks to see if he could get it for a better price, so I think it's working somewhat. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849538 Fri, 05 Oct 2018 19:19:30 +0000 lamariniere 2849538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I think you can talk about value without actually having to spend. For example if you take your kids to the grocery store, you can talk about buying a larger quantity of something for cheaper than an individual item. Or how we don’t buy X because that money will be better spent on a vacation. But part of my reluctance to let my LOs have their own spending money is that I don’t want to feed in to too much consumerism. Even if they had the money to buy things, I am against them buying for the sake of buying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849339 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 20:35:42 +0000 DesertDreams88 2849339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I see a lot of comments about kids not knowing the value of money. Honest question, how do you truly expect them to learn, without giving them practice?</p> <p>My parents gave me an allowance and extra-chore-money from age 5 on, and they gave me a clear piggy bank kind of like these:</p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Colorful-Stacking-Block-Coin-Bank/dp/B079YWTJFL" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Colorful-Stacking-Block-Coin-Bank/dp/B079YWTJFL</a></p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nadex-Handling-Counting-Compartments-including/dp/B079S3YH26/" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Nadex-Handling-Counting-Compartments-including/dp/B079S3YH26/</a></p> <p>I was allowed to buy what I wanted with my money, within reason. I set goals with it from a very young age and I clearly remember some of my purchases:<br /> - $10 for a "scar remover" that did NOT work and I was bummed, and realized it was a waste of $$ like my mom warned.<br /> - $40 for American Girl Doll clothes... my parents had me place the order over the phone, and I cherished those items because I bought them and had saved up<br /> (5th grade)<br /> - $500 for a CHEAP desktop in 9th grade, which I used a ton</p> <p>I also paid for all my clothes, cosmetics, movies, music, and outings starting in 5th grade. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849330 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 19:53:46 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2849330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our 10/11 year olds have expected chores that they have to do as part of the family (helping with their laundry, clearing the table, cleaning their own room and bathroom, and then a few other little things each), but we also offer then a small "commission" for helping with things we would normally do. We have dollar amounts tied to each job and they can do extra if they want. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849319 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 19:21:27 +0000 lamariniere 2849319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our oldest is 7 and we currently don’t give him money, ever! We haven’t really discussed what our policy will be. But he certainly doesn’t have a concept of value. Occasionally he will find change and say wow, I have 5 (local money), which is basically worth nothing. And I tried to explain that he couldn’t really buy anything with the that, but it hasn’t sunk in yet. </p> <p>We have acquaintances who use an interesting system. Any money their child receives (birthday, holiday) he is free to spend or save as he wants. We were out with them one time and the kid bought 3 different small (very cheap price/quality) toys. There was no discussion at all with the parents, they just handed over the money. And of course my LOs were immediately jealous and demanding things. But the parents explained that their method prevents a lot of meltdowns. He buys what he wants if he has the money and can’t buy if he doesn’t, so I suppose he is learning the concept of saving. I have no idea if they give him an allowance or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849195 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 10:09:13 +0000 DesertDreams88 2849195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I am in the minority here for sure. I don't have time to type a long post, but I am willing to pay for medium and big chores, I think 4 years old is good time to start. We have a couple friends with a couple 4-6 year olds and we have paid them little amounts to pick weeds, wash the car, and "watch" (/play with) the baby. They only do these things for like 15 minutes and we only pay a couple dollars. Our friends mentioned their kids were saving up for specific things by doing chores so we offered to "hire" them.</p> <p>Big money will be tucked away into savings accounts, and, my family isn't in the habit of giving cash gifts directly to kids until they are about 10 or so. </p> <p>I had a checking and savings acct from the time I was born, and my parents regularly took me to the bank and had me keep track of my money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849189 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 09:42:40 +0000 irene 2849189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Completely agree....!</p> <p>@gestalt: YES! Grandparents just gives out money and it is annoying. Exactly your point - what is the point of making $2.5 when I get $100 when grandparents come to visit at random times of the year? There are times he finished folding his clothes, and completely forgot about asking DH for $$. (Our policy is if you don't ask you don't get -- like in the real world you finish your work you gotta send in an invoice to get paid lol) . There are several weeks he didn't get "paid" and he wasn't bothered by it. So I have no idea :meh: </p> <p>And yes we have the save/spend/give jars! At the end of the year we'd take the give jar to buy toys for orphanage and foster children. It is our yearly tradition.</p> <p>I think we need to take his $500 and open a savings account for him at the bank, so hopefully if he doesn't see that overflowing jar of money it will help, while also helping him learn the concept of saving and interest. It is just that we've been procrastinating to do it -- Why do banks only open 9-4 on weekdays?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849185 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 09:28:53 +0000 looch 2849185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Yes, that's exactly why I don't pay my son. He has to learn value first, and that's a harder concept. Plus, he wouldn't ever be able to earn what he wants with what I am willing to pay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849180 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 09:15:27 +0000 gestalt 2849180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: This is why i stopped tying chores to allowance. She received a couple hundred dollars from family and family friends, so she was like, shrug, i don't really want to fold laundry for a paltry allowance. I have my "other money". I now give her $2/week and she puts away her folded laundry as part of her responsibilities/contribution. Have you also thought about setting up a save/spend/donate system so he can think about using some of the money for gifts or charity? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849160 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 07:52:53 +0000 irene 2849160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do pay for big things - if DS (6 yo) hangs, folds and puts away his laundry all by himself he gets $2.5 . If I have to help him and we do it together he gets $0.5 . He earns bonus if he does fold laundry during the week, which really never happened. We haven't had any paid chores other than that. i may start paying him if he washes his own bathroom which will not happen in a million years :silly: I will definitely pay him if one day he starts washing our cars or mowing the lawn, which again I doubt it will ever happen...</p> <p>Everything else (such as help unloading the dish washer, washing his water bottle after school, making the bed, picking up toys, wiping the table, clearing the table after eating, plugging in electric car, getting mails, taking garbage and recycle bins back into the garage) don't get paid because, well, that's part of life and we all need to contribute to the family. I don't get paid cooking dinner and picking him up from school.</p> <p>I would consider paying if it is a "job" that people actually would potentially hire someone to do (cleaning lady, mowing the lawn, car wash lol). There are laundry services which washes and folds your clothes so in a way I can justify paying him for that.</p> <p>I do have to say we need to work on a better allowance system.... People say they should earn allowance that is equivilent to their age (eg. 6 yo gets $6 a week), and it is definitely not happening here. He has "way too much" money saved now, and he just bragged he can buy anything he wants (eg. a phone, a car) with his $500 savings. He also doesn't care to earn more money because he thought he has a lot of money. My dilemma is how to introduce the concept of value to him as he takes things for granted and doesn't seem to care how much things cost. First world problems. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849143 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 06:43:28 +0000 Adira 2849143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't pay our kids to do their chores. Chores are what you have to do as part of a family. Just like I don't get paid to make dinner or do the laundry, my kids don't get paid to pick up their toys or clean their rooms.</p> <p>BUT we do give our oldest (5.5) an allowance. He currently gets $2.50 a week and separates it into Spend/Save/Share buckets. I think teaching kids about money is important and learning how to prioritize what you want and save for more expensive things is a good lesson. But I don't tie his allowance to chores at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849140 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 06:34:09 +0000 gotkimchi 2849140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and if chores are just part of being a family what about paying for other more odd jobs - pulling weeds, washing windows, washing the car etc </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849139 Thu, 04 Oct 2018 06:33:30 +0000 gotkimchi 2849139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We got 2.50 per week, one to keep, one for savings and 50c for missions at church. I like this because it taught us about saving and donating. It wasn’t tied to chores exactly so I can’t rememver if we earned it or if it was just given. One idea I saw that I liked is kids can earn 10c/chore and they only get paid out when you earn a dollar this way the mom doesn’t have to be actively directing everything - just make a chart and initial as they go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849099 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 21:30:26 +0000 Mrsbells 2849099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphin: nope. In the real world no one gets paid to do their own chores so my parents made us understand our allowance wasn't earned and our chores werent optional. I do the same for my kiddos </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849093 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 21:10:12 +0000 Iced Tea 2849093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't pay for chores, and we call them "jobs" so they don't sound like a slog. </p> <p>I let them decide what to do with birthday money. I haven't decided if we will do an independent allowance later or have a list of "extra" jobs they could take off my hands for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849080 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 19:49:38 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2849080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m not planning to give money for chores. I let LO handle money at the grocery checkout as a way to introduce the concept that we must buy things. The Target dollar spot had some felt faux money that I plan to let him play with when he’s a little older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849075 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 18:58:50 +0000 Mamaof2 2849075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Chores are required and you don't get paid -dishes, trash, vacuum, etc.</p> <p>If they wash the car or if DS mows the grass then we do pay them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849054 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 17:29:30 +0000 Hypatia 2849054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We won’t be doing anything called an allowance. Chores are done “to bless our family” and not paid for.</p> <p>I honestly don’t think it’s that helpful to give kids money to play with until they are around 12 or 13. We’ll probably do that by offering jobs at grandparents or neighbor’s homes (we want to emphasize that even big jobs in our house aren’t done for pay). So we might talk with a grandparent or neighbor and they will offer a certain amount per time their driveway is shoveled in winter or for raking their yard or helping hem clean out their garage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849053 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 17:28:41 +0000 gestalt 2849053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used to tie allowance to chores, but things are so much better now that i keep them separate.</p> <p>I recently sat down with my eldest and raised the idea of coming up with ways she can contribute to the household. I explained that as part of the family, we all have to contribute. Instead of me making a list, she came up with things she can do. Some of those things included peeling vegetables, putting away folded laundry, etc. I told her that i would give her a weekly allowance that would be separate and she could use it for little extras or to save up for something big. </p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Spoiled-Raising-Grounded-Generous/dp/0062247026" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Spoiled-Raising-Grounded-Generous/dp/0062247026</a> has some great tips. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849049 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 17:08:25 +0000 erinbaderin 2849049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don’t, but our plan is to keep chores and allowance separate. I don’t want them to get the idea that you get paid for helping keep the day to day family running. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849025 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 15:47:46 +0000 looch 2849025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, we don't. Chores are part of being in a family, it's not a choice.</p> <p>One of the reasons is that my son tends to have expensive taste and it wouldn't be reasonable for him to earn a dollar here or there to be able to purchase and I don't think that really teaches anything about the actual value of money at his age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-give-your-lo-allowance-or-incentive-for-doing-chores#post-2849024 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 15:46:44 +0000 Mama Bird 2849024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. Still figuring the money thing out, but so far the kids basically get money for birthdays and some holidays, but chores are just a thing they do out of the goodness of their heart :silly: Considering they're fighting over who gets to carry the dishes, I don't think they need any incentive besides competing with each other! </p>