https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 00:28:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-803137 Thu, 23 May 2013 10:41:01 +0000 Alivoo01 803137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's on my to do list, but haven't discussed who the guardians will be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-802825 Thu, 23 May 2013 09:07:55 +0000 ladyfingers 802825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We know who we want and we have an attorney to go to but DH has still not gotten around to talking to them about it (they're friends of his). It's really starting to bug me because I keep reminding him and he keeps saying he'll do it, but then he never gets around to it.</p> <p>I want to use an attorney because I want to make sure that our assets are allocated properly and to have a trust set up. Not that we have much, but it can be a pain if it's not set up right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-802667 Thu, 23 May 2013 08:08:57 +0000 pl0508 802667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did this when I found out I was pregnant. My parents are listed as his guardians and also the executor of his trust. My boss did them for us (he is an atty) free of cost </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-802649 Thu, 23 May 2013 08:02:08 +0000 maybebaby 802649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh we've been meaning to do this since I got pregnant, but I have to admit I feel a little less bad seeing the poll results! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-802517 Thu, 23 May 2013 07:03:48 +0000 Dandelion 802517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a will. DS is my son from my first marriage, so if something happens to me and DH (or really, just me), DS goes to his dad. If he is older and something happens to just me, he's got the option of staying with DH or going to his dad's. His dad lives a couple hours away, so I would understand if he's in middle school or high school and doesn't want to leave his friends or my parents.</p> <p>If something happens to all 3 of us, he goes to my brother, even though he lives far. I doubt that'll happen, but I guess you never know. </p> <p>It's a verbal agreement, but I know we need to get it down in writing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-802507 Thu, 23 May 2013 06:58:47 +0000 heffalump 802507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: My DH has a brother and he wasn't offended at all when I said no way to him :) I love him and he's a great dad..... but his choices in women just aren't good and I never know who he'll end up with, and that person will be a part of my LO's life forever. Especially if he decides to get back with his ex. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801900 Wed, 22 May 2013 18:52:13 +0000 Charm54 801900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm currently pregnant and when we close on our house this summer we will get our lawyer to do up our wills at the same time. We plan on asking my sister and her fiance to be the guardians. We are really close to both of them and know that they will love this little baby (almost!) as much as we will. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801893 Wed, 22 May 2013 18:48:42 +0000 Ree723 801893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This has been a real struggle for DH and I recently. Our parents are out, much as we love them, age is a major factor (they're all in their mid to late 60s). We had earlier discussed my sister and her husband as guardians and were very happy with that decision, but they're going through a nasty separation now and until they resolve it, or my sister can stand on her own two feet again, we're not comfortable leaving them as guardians.</p> <p>My brother and SIL would be ok, but they're not financially stable. DH's brother is great but we abhor his fiancé and everything she stands for. The thought of my daughter being raised with her values or beliefs makes my stomach twist in knots. DH's other brother and SIL are great parents to their kids, but there is a lot of resentment and jealousy towards me (on the SIL's part) and I have no confidence that she would love my daughter unconditionally and that she wouldn't subtly try to make her feel inferior so she (SIL) could feel better about herself. And DH's sister is also great but her husband is 30 years older than her, and I don't think they're equipped to take on a young child.</p> <p>So that leaves us in this quandary where no option sounds good as all have their faults. I think we'll leave it with my sister alone for right now and hope for the best. Oh, we don't have a formal will yet but we do have our wishes written down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801627 Wed, 22 May 2013 16:27:17 +0000 JerricaBenton 801627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're planning on doing our wills and living wills and power of attorneys this summer. We're going to leave LO and any subsequent LOs with my parents unless they are unable to care for them, then my brother. My brother is still young and unmarried so we're more comfortable with my parents for now. Once you have it set up it's easy to make changes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801536 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:55:20 +0000 LuLu Mom 801536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have all the decisions made but we need to get it on paper, that is my goal for this summer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801523 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:49:57 +0000 sslm 801523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's on our to-do list!!! Lo's guardians will be my sister and BIL but we haven't asked them yet. We are the guardians for my niece. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801515 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:46:40 +0000 MamaMoose 801515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: Hahaha don't be too impressed. The lawyer send us final drafts in February and we just executed them last week! Whoops! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801506 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:44:37 +0000 Smurfette 801506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are working on both. I think we are going to ask my sister to be a guardian. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801503 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:43:49 +0000 runsyellowlites 801503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't have a will made up but have discussed who would be the kiddos guardian. We picked my mom. DH's mom is totally out &amp; none of our siblings have lifestyles that would promote the character we're building in our children. My mom would definitely be the best guardian for them. If not her (she passed away herself or something) then we may discuss with a couple that we're friends with that we know love them &amp; would raise them to be awesome men &amp; women!</p> <p>On a not so brightside note: Legally, G goes back to his dad SOOO my mom already has plan to beg his bio-dad to let her have him AND to even make deal with him that she would take G to see him basically whenever he wanted. Tbh I think she could probably take G's bio-dad to court &amp; get conservator ship of him. With the way things are currently I really just pray that it's not something they (kids &amp; mom) have to ever deal with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801501 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:43:22 +0000 78h2o 801501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: You're on it! :) That's helpful to know how much is cost for you to go the lawyer route. I'll have to talk to DH and see what he wants to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801490 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:40:05 +0000 MamaMoose 801490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: We had a lawyer do a full estate plan for us (wills, establishing a trust for LO, living wills, financial power of attorney and health care power of attorney) and it was $1,000 for the whole package. We also didn't want to pick grandparents because of their age. We named my brother (and by default his wife) as guardian and my husband's sister as the secondary in case something happens to my brother as well. I was not comfortable with my SIL being first choice because like your SIL she is not married. She has a boyfriend whom we expect her to marry but it's not a done deal yet. And whoever becomes her husband would essentially be acting as my child's father and until we know who that person is I wasn't comfortable making her our first choice. We love my brother and SIL, they are due with their first baby this year so we know there will be other children in the house, they would raise M very similar to how we would, and while we have life insurance and assets that will be there for M, we also know that my bro and SIL are more than financially capable of taking her on and that definitely played a part in our decision making. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801484 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:38:44 +0000 Bao 801484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. My sister (married with 3 kids) is primary and my parents are secondary. DH has parents and siblings but I'm more comfortable with the people we chose taking custody of LO and any future LO's. We had a lawyer do it for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801481 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:38:08 +0000 Cara M. 17 801481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm currently pregnant and this is on our to-do list before Baby M arrives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801475 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:36:31 +0000 plantains 801475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: I had the same question and just looked it up! It is available on Amazon digital download for $25. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801469 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:35:45 +0000 red_seattle 801469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been meaning to do this for far too long. A week ago, I scheduked the whole summer, and I blocked out 5 evenings a month from now to actually sit down and do it. Plus I've gathered some articles on how to DIY will, guardianship, and medical wishes. Here's hoping it actually happens... Eventually we'll do it properly (notarized &amp; all), but for now, just writing it all out, and letting our family know what to do and what we have set aside for X will be enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801466 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:34:58 +0000 78h2o 801466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rawrasaur: great, thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801458 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:33:32 +0000 rawrasaur 801458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: I think it was like $30 and once I started using it it was so worth that small cost. You basically just answer questions and it compiles everything into your will. It is also mindful of state laws. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801447 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:31:20 +0000 Running Elley 801447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a will but no guardian for DS yet. We're really torn. My dad is older and my mom is already caring for my grandpa. MIL and her husband would work but the situation isn't ideal. FIL is single, works long hours and is very much a bachelor. And none of our siblings are married and established. We'd live to name our best friends guardians but they live an hour and a half away from the town where our families live and we still would want DS to be close to family. It's quite the dilemma. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801437 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:29:05 +0000 78h2o 801437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rawrasaur: was it very expensive?</p> <p>I meant to ask that (how did you do it) in the original question. I'll add it now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801435 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:28:51 +0000 Foodnerd81 801435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: Same-- I'm thinking my sister, and mentioned it to DH and he agreed but I don't think he was really paying attention. But I think it would be my sister and BIL, they already have a LO so it wouldn't be a totally unknown thing for them. </p> <p>We don't have a will or anything yet, though. LO is due at the end of July, so it's something I'd like to get taken care of shortly before or after the birth. Should be easy since we don't have all that much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801424 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:26:11 +0000 rawrasaur 801424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup. We bought quicken willmaker and got them notarized the other weekend. We currently have my parents named as the guardians, but we will revisit it in a few years and change it to my brother most likely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801419 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:25:19 +0000 78h2o 801419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: yeah, I'm thinking my sister too. I mentioned it to my husband a month or two ago and he nodded okay, but I'm not sure if he was really listening! :) My DH has a sister, who I'm sure would be good too, but she's not married yet. I know my sister and BIL would be amazing and she'd want to do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801392 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:19:29 +0000 heffalump 801392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've been talking about it, just have to set up an apt! We did tell several people who we want as a guardian though so if something happens before we get one people will know what we want. </p> <p>It took awhile to figure it out. Grandparents weren't even in the running, they're getting older and I think it would get to be too much for them quickly. We decided on my sister. We were both raised the same way so I feel like she would raise lo the same way I would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801368 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:13:57 +0000 loveisstrange 801368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. My best friend and DHs best friend, who happen to be a couple also. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-a-will-have-you-selected-guardians-for-your-children#post-801361 Wed, 22 May 2013 15:12:17 +0000 78h2o 801361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I realized we don't have one... would probably be a good thing to have now that we have a LO.</p> <p>Wondering though who we'd put down as a guardian? I'm sure both sets of grandparents would want custody. I'm thinking that my sister &amp; BIL would maybe be the best though - so LO would have "parents" the same age as her peers.</p> <p>Do you have a will?</p> <p>Who did you pick to be guardians?</p> <p>ETA: Did you use a lawyer or a will-making program/website? </p>