https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Jul 2026 13:32:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-211929 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 17:51:39 +0000 Mrs. Lantern 211929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just cheesy pick up lines from me :p</p> <p>Did you just fart because you blew me away!<br /> If you were a booger I'd pick you first! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206877 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 16:38:09 +0000 MsLipGloss 206877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! (no-eyed deer)</p> <p>What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? *Still* no idea! </p> <p>Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!</p> <p>:P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206775 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:04:30 +0000 theknest 206775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have many. </p> <p>But this is always a fun, awkward moment that I enjoy....<br /> Me: "Okay, I have a knock, knock joke but you have to start it."<br /> Friend: "Ok, Knock! Knock!"<br /> Me: "Who's there?"<br /> Friend: ?????<br /> Then you just stare at them....b/c they aren't sure how to go on.</p> <p>Then there is this old standby....<br /> How do you make a kleenex dance?<br /> You put a little boogie in it.</p> <p>And then this other favorite knock knock joke<br /> Knock! Knock!<br /> Who's there?<br /> Impatient Cow.<br /> Impatient C--<br /> MOOOOOOOOOOO! (before they finish) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206669 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 13:40:54 +0000 Shutterbug 206669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha these are awesome. My cheesiest (hehe) joke is What kind of cheese isn't yours? NACHO CHEESE! LOL so lame. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206643 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 13:24:28 +0000 MamaMoose 206643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My go to is:</p> <p>Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?<br /> A: He was feeling crumby!</p> <p>HAHAHA. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206638 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 13:16:22 +0000 Minnie_Girl 206638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Knock knock!<br /> Who's there?<br /> You know...<br /> You know who?<br /> AVADA KEDAVRA!</p> <p>This disturbing one is courtesy of my 14 year old brother.<br /> Q: What gets louder as it gets smaller?<br /> A: A baby in a trash compactor. </p> <p>Wanna hear a great joke?<br /> Women's rights. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206627 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 13:09:32 +0000 ladyfingers 206627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alongfarview: That hipster one is HILARIOUS! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206625 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 13:08:02 +0000 ladyfingers 206625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These aren't clean in the strictest sense of the word, but here you go:</p> <p>A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, "Hey man, you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, right?" And the pirate says, "Arrrrrrrrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"</p> <p>OK, another one:</p> <p>A penguin was driving to the beach one day, and all of a sudden, his car broke down. He was lucky to be right near a mechanic, so he took the car in and walked around to wait. It was so hot outside, though, that he just had to stop for ice cream. Being a penguin, it was kind of hard to eat the ice cream without getting it all over his face. By the time he walked back to the mechanic, he had vanilla ice cream just smeared all over the place. He walks in, and the mechanic looks up from the car and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."</p> <p>Ba-dum-ching. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206087 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 07:16:08 +0000 mrsjyw 206087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LOL, i'm the worst joke teller. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-206014 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 02:33:28 +0000 anonysquire 206014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have about a million Harry Potter your mama jokes in my head. Very useful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-205999 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 01:11:33 +0000 MaisyMay 205999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like bad jokes.</p> <p>What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Tri Tip<br /> What do you call a cow with 2 legs? lean beef<br /> What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef</p> <p>How did the blond break her leg? Fell out of a tree raking leaves<br /> How do you drown a blond? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool<br /> How can you tell a blond's been using the computer? White-out on the screen<br /> Why is online shopping hard for a blond? No slot for her to run her credit card<br /> Why was the blond stuck at the yield sign? She couldn't figure out if she should stop or go or stop or go or stop or .....</p> <p>What's black and white and red all over? A sebra with a sunburn, a newspaper, a skunk in a blender (Choose whichever answer you prefer) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-205996 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 00:59:11 +0000 sandy 205996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love corny jokes and puns!</p> <p>My go to jokes are lawyer jokes (I'm a lawyer):</p> <p>Q: How does a lawyer go to bed?<br /> A: First he lies on one side then he lies on the other</p> <p>Q: What's the name of the new sushi place that all the lawyers go to?<br /> A: So-sue-me </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-205945 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 22:57:48 +0000 singingbee 205945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alongfarview: totally my kind of jokes! i am sitting here, actually Lol-ing. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-205936 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 22:49:22 +0000 alongfarview 205936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get all my jokes from my brother which means they're all kinds of cheesy. For example:</p> <p>Q: Why did the hipster burn his hand while changing a lightbulb?<br /> A: Because he changed it before it was cool.</p> <p>Q: What's brown and sticky?<br /> A: A stick </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-205929 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 22:39:05 +0000 singingbee 205929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have several.....one is a 'clean' and the other is 'dirty'. </p> <p>One of my favs (we will see if anyone recognizes this one): </p> <p>Q:What's green and says, "Hey, I'm a frog!"<br /> A: a talking frog<br /> That joke gets me every time. </p> <p>Here's another one that is pretty stupid. </p> <p>Q: What's green and moves?<br /> A: Grass. I lied about it moving. </p> <p>See, totally cheesy and not many people laugh at them, but they make me laugh. </p> <p>I also have several Mary Jane jokes. I like those too. ;)</p> <p>The dirty one is a long one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-205903 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 22:24:15 +0000 MrsBrewer 205903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None, although I am a terrible joke/story teller. I'm known to have the never ending stories :-/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-205899 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 22:22:23 +0000 matador84 205899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>gotta love pirate jokes.</p> <p>what's a pirate's favorite letter? "aRRRRR."<br /> what's a pirate's favorite fast food place? "aRRRRRby's."<br /> what's a pirate's worst nightmare? a sunken chest with no booty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-any-jokes-memorized#post-205864 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 22:09:06 +0000 mrbee 205864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wish I had a clean "yo mama" joke all teed up in the memory banks... but I got nothing. Bee loves corny jokes, but I don't even have any of those memorized.</p> <p>I really gotta memorize a good joke or two. Do you have any to share?</p> <p>Do you have any jokes memorized? </p>