Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 14:44:21 +0000 SugarplumsMom on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-367087 Tue, 30 Oct 2012 03:36:08 +0000 SugarplumsMom 367087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely! Last week I was at my wits end! Just when I thought it was getting easier, WHAM! She was fussy, crying (now that she's older, it's so much louder), wouldn't nap, would eat very little, woke up every 3 hours because of not eating so much. I was seriously going crazy! All I can say is we all go through it. Hang in there, mama! It will pass. Try not to clean or cook or do anything but sleep. Have an energy bar by the bed if necessary. Just sleep. Hugs! sarac on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-367022 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 23:18:38 +0000 sarac 367022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would REALLY encourage you to NOT clean while she naps. We stay at home mothers don't get any breaks besides naptime - not to eat, not to pee, not for a second. When I started cleaning while my baby was awake and reserving naptime for myself, my life got a lot better. It is impossible to function with zero breaks or downtime. Taking a break when you can is just good mothering. And also, I like to teach the lesson that keeping a home is hard but rewarding work. I don't want my daughter to think that the house magically cleans it's self while she naps - I want her to see the effort that I put into it and to learn to help in age appropriate ways. I don't think of it as ignoring her at all, I think of it as showing her what it takes to run a home and keep it nice for everyone to enjoy. And on another tack, I really gave myself permission to be less that perfect when I got to feeling like you do. I don't believe in watching tv around a baby. Well, when I'm exhausted, we put on Sesame Street. Or the evening news. It's great to have high standards for yourself, but you should really try to give yourself a break if you need it. Order takeout, put on a dvd. Make your life a little easier and try to rest up for tomorrow. Mrs Checkers on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366695 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 17:04:30 +0000 Mrs Checkers 366695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @LAGS: =) Oh good, I love making people cry! ;) LAGS on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366681 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 16:52:18 +0000 LAGS 366681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @NerdBee: I'm thinking you're right with the object permanence thing. She's been having trouble with me leaving the room while awake, so I have a feeling that's why she's harder to put down and freaking out even more at night. Yay! @HeatherlovesKenny: & @winniebee: You're both right about getting away. The few times I've had a substantial bit of time to myself it has been so refreshing. I'm my own worst enemy with this though because I'm totally uncomfortable leaving LO with anyone but DH... need to work on that for my sanity! @Mrs Checkers: Thank you for the sweet words. Now I'm misty eyed lol @Kemma: You hang in there too! Kemma on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366665 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 16:35:12 +0000 Kemma 366665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yep, my LO is two weeks old today and I defintely have moments when I wonder what on earth I've done! Hang in there! Mrs Checkers on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366323 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 13:06:11 +0000 Mrs Checkers 366323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I felt like this every single day for the first 2 months. You are not alone. You ARE a mom. You are doing it! Every day! Each day is an accomplishment. Do NOT compare yourself to other moms. You are doing the best you can, and it is very easy to feel incompetent/defeated/overwhelmed when you are not sleeping! There were so many days I felt like I wasn't cut out for motherhood...I said it out loud many times. What was I thinking? How did I think I could do this? I'm a terrible mother. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how much longer I can do this. A lot of that was my PPD talking, a lot of it was also sleep deprivation. And a lot in part to just being a first-time mom. It's really the craziest/hardest transition you will ever face in your life. You're doing a great job! Hang in there...there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you will feel more confident as time goes on. winniebee on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366322 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 13:04:54 +0000 winniebee 366322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ You're not alone! I've had some very tough days - also mostly related to my son's lack of napping. Alas, I return to work tomorrow so I've tried to cherish every moment the past few weeks - naps or no naps. I have actually found that having some distance (he went to daycare 1.5 days last week and my parents watched him Saturday night when my husband and I went out)....made me appreciate every little thing and I really felt refreshed while with him. So, all of this is to say that maybe if you could even get a little bit of a break it would be better? HLK208 on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366321 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 13:04:52 +0000 HLK208 366321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes! And then I get an hour or so away to myself and I miss them like crazy and realize I just need my alone time once in awhile to be a good mom. heffalump on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366315 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 13:01:30 +0000 heffalump 366315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ LO had reflux when she was little, and at about 3-4 months old it got worse and worse and I didn't have a clue what was going on. People kept telling me she was just a fussy baby, she had gas, it was all normal, etc. Meanwhile she cried for hours with no soothing her and as a SAHM I was going crazy. I didn't tell DH until many months later, but I seriously considered getting a job. We did figure out finally that she had reflux and life got much better. Now I still have my days that are rough, but nothing is ever as bad as it was then. NerdBee on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366303 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 12:51:43 +0000 NerdBee 366303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @lags: you sound like a wonderful mom. I'm glad to hear that today has been better for you. I'm not sure about you but before I had LO I was one if those people that had to have at least 7.5 hours of consecutive sleep a night to function normally. So when I can only get 3 hours of sleep at a time, it makes it very hard for my brain to function the same way. Everything seems harder and set backs are more frustrating. Add a crying, fussy baby to the mix and emotions can get out of hand. So don't feel bad if you're having a hard time. I was really resistant to sleep training too. I couldn't bear to hear LO cry. I tried all sorts of gentler methods of sleep training that minimized crying and it would work about half the time. He could put himself to sleep about half the time, and he could stay asleep until morning a out half the time. But since he hit 6 months it all went out the window. I think it had something to do with him discovering object permanence. Anyway, after a couple of weeks of rocking him for over an hour just to have him wake up again in 40 minutes, I was going crazy and couldn't donut anymore. Even when I decided to let him cry it out, I almost gave up a few times and he only cried at most 1 hour. It was tough. But it's so worth it now. Good luck with whatever you decide. Hugs! LAGS on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366296 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 12:46:01 +0000 LAGS 366296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @meredithNYC: Thanks for this, and it's very true. The good days absolutely outweigh the bad which is important to keep in mind! @sweetkate: Ugh tell me about it! I'm at my weakest point in the middle of the night I think KT326 on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366290 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 12:43:35 +0000 KT326 366290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely. Luckily the good moments outweigh the bad but when sleep is not happening it is really hard to stay positive. My mantra has been "its just a phase, this will pass". I'm trying my best to cherish all the good moments but sometimes when he is screaming at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night it is really hard. LAGS on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366274 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 12:34:36 +0000 LAGS 366274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thank you all. It's good to know I'm not alone. While I know it's just sleep deprivation and a bad day talking... it's just so hard feeling inadequate and worrying your LO is being short-changed. I'm trying to take a step back from everything and try to reconnect with LO today. I did some skin to skin and we spent some time chilling in her room before nap and I read to her while we played on the floor. It was fun, she was laughing while I read and with the added down time, I think it helped her put herself to sleep better for nap. So glad I did this... I hope she sleeps longer than 30 mins. @luckypenny: I have zero me time too. Really the only me time I steal away is HB... otherwise I'm busy with LO, or trying to stay on top of our house during her 30 min naps. ugh. @Lindsay05: Lately I feel I'm having to walk away to regroup too. I should probably walk away more than I do though... I just feel like it's admitting defeat sometimes. I need to get over that. @NerdBee: I agree it's the sleep. Our good days, when I'm rested I love being a Mom and can admit when I'm at my best, I do a great job. I'm just disappointed in myself at how easily I crumble when things get tough. I'm honestly considering sleep training. I went back and forth with it for a long time, then decided I'm not cut out for it. Now I'm thinking it might be for the best. meredithNYC on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366264 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 12:30:50 +0000 meredithNYC 366264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, absolutely! Some days I want so badly to go back to work and have conversations with other adults and get to wear nice clothes again. Other days, it's perfect and I'm so happy. Someone on Hellobee (can't remember who) said something along the lines of "Motherhood is like any other job in that you have some terrible days and some really great ones." This really rings true for me and it's something I keep in the back of my mind when things are tough. NerdBee on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366156 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 11:47:02 +0000 NerdBee 366156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yup. I can definitely relate. I think it might be the sleep deprivation talking though. I felt like this a couple of weeks ago when my LO stopped napping well and waking up multiple times a night when he see to sleep through. And when he was awake he would be fussy and very clingy. I was sleeping only in 3 hour chunks again and no time for naps. The sleep deprivation made me very cranky and things got overwhelming. When I couldn't handle it anymore, I was forced to let LO cry it out. After a couple of days he was sleeping through the night again and finally after a week, his naps are lengthening again. With more sleep, he's been a much happier baby and I have been ai much happier mom. I can also make decisions again and not feel overwhelmed with little details. Not saying that you should sleep train but just giving perspective that sometimes lack of sleep can make things that you can normally handle seem overwhelming. Hope things start looking up for you soon. Lindsay05 on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366124 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 11:36:59 +0000 Lindsay05 366124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yep, i've had days like this. I just don't know how I could do it. I have had to put her down in her swing or on the floor and just walk out of the room and re-group. I think it's normal to feel so overwhelmed and tired sometimes. It's a full time job where you don't get any scheduled coffee breaks, lunch breaks or days off. I hope you are able to get some alone time and don't ever feel like a crap mom. luckypenny on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366110 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 11:29:31 +0000 luckypenny 366110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm a SAHM to a 6minth old also and feel the same way ALOT of the time. It was really hard for me to manage my time so I was playing with DD when she was awake and doing chores while she slept which left zero "me" time for a shower, eating, etc... I was exhausted. Now I do some chores while she's awake and I talk to her while I'm doing them or take her for a walk and listen to my iPod to just relax. I also had to realize that the super moms on TV and blogs just arent real life. If im in my pakamas until 2pm some days, thats okay with me. I'm sure you're LO thinks youre the best mom! All your baby needs is love food and shelter :) hang in there mama LAGS on "Do you have days where you feel you're not cut out for this?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-days-where-you-feel-youre-not-cut-out-for-this#post-366086 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 11:19:34 +0000 LAGS 366086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My LO is almost 6 months old and the past few days I've just been feeling like I'm not cut out for motherhood. I know it's not a 100% fair conclusion because my exhaustion doesn't have me in the best state of mind... but it's hard to rationalize that when I'm in the thick of things. I just see myself getting so frustrated, loosing my patience and getting so upset with how things have been lately and feel like such a crap Mom. Sleep is my main issue here and I'm just so overwhelmed. Just saying that makes me feel horrible because I know I probably have it easy compared to a lot of parents who are doing this on their own or work full time, etc... I just feel like I should be stronger and should handle the stress better. Anyone else feel this way? I love this little girl more than anything and just want to do better for her and never want her to feel like I'm frustrated with her... but I just haven't have it in me lately. Feeling very defeated today.