https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Jul 2026 20:43:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt/page/2#post-2269832 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 13:19:30 +0000 avivoca 2269832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do feel guilty. I feel guilty because some days I spend a lot of time on my phone while she plays because I just need a break. But if I read while she plays, I wonder if that is better? I physically and mentally cannot spend every minute focusing on her and interacting with her without going crazy, and I feel bad about that. We eat a lot of crap sometimes because I'm to tired to cook a proper healthy dinner. I wish I could be a PT SAHM just so I could spend more time with her, but then some days I feel guilty because I want to take her to daycare and focus on adult things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt/page/2#post-2269818 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 13:11:40 +0000 erinpye 2269818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I decided a long time ago that I don't have time to beat myself up. I'm doing my best, and my kids are happy and healthy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269811 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 13:08:11 +0000 ShootingStar 2269811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really do mom guilt. I think moms put way too much pressure on themselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269728 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 12:13:29 +0000 yoursilverlining 2269728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I only do when I lose my temper and yell, or say (mean) things I don’t really mean in the heat of the moment. But, it’s not “mom-guilt”, it’s just basic guilt lol </p> <p>I think (know?) LO would be a better sleeper now had we sleep-trained her when she was a baby; but I don’t feel guilty about not sleep-training, because I made the decision I made with the best information and intentions at that time. Hindsight is always 20-20, which I also think helps temper guilt. </p> <p>@Applesandbananas: Glad it helped. Everyone needs a break, and to cut themselves some slack. Especially moms who are putting in 100%! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269720 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 12:08:09 +0000 Mae 2269720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have all the guilt about all things. There is nothing I e ever done that I didn't do too much AND too little about. Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269718 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 12:05:59 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2269718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: +1! Yup! I'm a full time student/part time working mom too, and I'll have some odd days off here and there throughout the semester, or even spring break last year, and I wasn't going to pull J from his routine because I was home. I do try to use the extra time for homework or stuff around the house, but admittedly I definitely take some time to myself too and it is amazing. At first I felt guilty about it but I shut that down quick. Partly because I am so stressed out in school, and having these little break days here or there is essential to my sanity. Partly because my son is still happy and safe right where he is! </p> <p>I used to feel guilt more often over things but I decided it wasn't worth it. There will always be something to feel crappy about and I don't want to waste my life feeling like I'm a bad mom. I need to have more confidence and assurance in who I am and the choices I make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269706 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:56:33 +0000 Amelieisme 2269706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, especially if I leave work and don't go immediately to pick them up or if I have a day off and take them to daycare anyway (usually so I can do chores/errands). I am sometimes jealous how DH has no qualms about doing this but I feel super guilty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269699 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:54:03 +0000 Ash 2269699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, everything I do causes guilt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269692 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:41:03 +0000 LovelyPlum 2269692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: I have a lot of dog mom guilt, too. We've started sending pup to a dog daycare a few times a month, and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY. Best idea ever, for all involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269684 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:36:19 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2269684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I don't because I know that what I am doing is for her own good and benefit. </p> <p>For example, if she is crying because we're trying to teach her to sleep / soothe herself, I don't feel guilty because I know that she is fed and she is dry so there's really nothing wrong. And ultimately she will benefit by being a good sleeper and being able to soothe herself. So I don't feel guilty for helping her achieve that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269672 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:30:53 +0000 illumina 2269672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) she could be eating better/healthier food more often<br /> 2) she probably watches more TV than she should </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269661 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:27:07 +0000 pui 2269661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I often feel like I don't get anything done. I worry people think I'm a lazy housewife, but even just vacuuming the house and visiting the grocery store with a 11.5 old while 20 weeks pregnant is almost all I can manage. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269658 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:25:34 +0000 Peasinapod 2269658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel guilty when I put my 11 month old in her crib with my iPad in her view playing YouTube kid songs. I do this so I can shower knowing she is happy and safe, but it's been so ingrained in me that tv is bad that I feel guilt. Not sure what a good alternative would be though!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269652 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:23:58 +0000 catomd00 2269652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really. If it creeps in I try not to dwell on it. I am doing the very best I can and always actively trying to improve my weak areas in parenting. dD is happy and healthy, there's nothing more I can really do! Guilt is a wasted emotion and only detracts from happiness. I like to stay positive and upbeat. Life's too short! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269644 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:15:45 +0000 Applesandbananas 2269644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I feel guilty about this too. The director at LO's daycare made some comments about how we needed to be consistent at home and not let him get away with stuff and I was like "I do my best but you have to realize I get 3 hours with him and I pick my battles so that I can enjoy the time I get to spend with my son." I do my best to be consistent but there are days I let stuff slide. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269639 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:13:56 +0000 looch 2269639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Do you ever feel guilt about the method by which you do something? Like I don't feel guilt about my son being a crap sleeper, but I feel guilt for some of the techniques I tried to get him to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269635 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:12:06 +0000 looch 2269635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The guilt I feel relates to discipline, and the desire to spend the time with him rather than have to discipline him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269625 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:07:24 +0000 Applesandbananas 2269625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: thank you for this. I'm really struggling with feeling like LO gets too much screen time, doesn't eat well enough, worrying that I'm not spending enough time with him, etc. Most days I know I'm doing the best I can, and the days I'm not, well everyone has those days of I'm just tired or sick or just need a little break and that's okay too. </p> <p>You're so right, LO is happy and thriving and knows he's loved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269612 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:58:08 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2269612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I totally agree with you! I don't really buy into the pressure to feel mom guilt. </p> <p>I'm not trying to say that I'm a perfect parent but that's life and I shouldn't feel guilty about that. I'm doing the best I can and DD is doing wonderfully so I don't see why I have anything to feel guilty about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269565 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:31:33 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2269565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really. Like @yoursilverlining: said, I think there is a lot of pressure to feel guilt I don't really buy into it. I do the best I can, with the time and resources I have. </p> <p>Now doggy mom guilt, wife guilt and employee guilt? I do have those. I haven't been doing the best that I can (or even really trying to the best I can recently) in those areas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269499 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:48:57 +0000 Mamaof2 2269499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: uh, yeah I have horrible doggy mom guilt :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269473 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:29:01 +0000 Mamasig 2269473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: I have more dog mom guilt too. They have plummeted in the hierarchy at my house. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269471 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:27:33 +0000 MK0180 2269471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, mainly due to working full-time. Because of this, I feel guilty for taking time for myself away from DS. DH "forced" me to go to a yoga class last night and he put the LO to bed. The class was great and exactly what I needed. I know I need to do this more often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269468 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:26:21 +0000 Mamasig 2269468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really but because I don't do things that would make me feel guilty. For example, I work full time so the only time I have with them is the evenings and weekend. I no longer do things for myself (like monthly pedicures) because that takes time away from them and then I would feel guilty. Sure I miss a lot of that but it's not super important to me right now. My priorities just shifted I guess. </p> <p>I feel zero guilt about them watching TV, going to daycare, or their eating habits. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269464 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:24:48 +0000 snowjewelz 2269464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The WOH thing is not so much guilt but that I genuinely miss her! I don't feel guilt b/c my mom takes care of her and I love that they get to bond. DH has her for 1 day and I love that they get to bond. And she is a very active/curious baby; so when she does go to daycare, I know she'll love it. </p> <p>But of course mom guilt hits every now and then with various things! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269456 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:20:39 +0000 .twist. 2269456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two things. </p> <p>1. I wish I was better at making healthier and more variety in our meals. I'm not terrible, but I could definitely do better. Fresh 20 has helped with it a lot but we haven't done that in a while now. </p> <p>2. I wish I had an easier time just getting down on the floor and playing or doing crafts and stuff with L. I'm not great about that and it definitely weighs on me. I know I'm a good mom in other areas, but I'm probably not the most fun mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269440 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:02:47 +0000 runnerd 2269440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Working full-time and daycare, brings me to tears nearly weekly even now that he is one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269425 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 08:57:23 +0000 yoursilverlining 2269425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not, not really. I think moms get a lot of pressure to feel guilty, like that feeling constantly guilty means you’re a good mom, or that you *should* feel guilty as part of being a mom. I don’t buy into that. </p> <p>I don’t really have solid tips on how/why I don’t feel guilty, but I just don’t. I think my LO benefits greatly from going to daycare because she is constantly surprising us with stuff she’s learned there, stuff we wouldn’t have even thought to talk about or teach her about if we were home with her. Working also allows me to directly provide LO a better quality of life, and a less stressed home to grow up, and a less stressed marriage between myself and DH. Sure I miss her some days, and some days I wish I could spend more time with her. But, it is what it is and I think the benefits so greatly outweigh the random “off” day. So, I have no guilt about working. </p> <p>Sometimes LO eats crap. Often she doesn’t. So, I don’t feel guilty about her eating.</p> <p>LO sleeps well when she sleeps – but getting there is a huge battle. But, it’s not like I feel something to feel guilty about there – some things are hard, but that doesn’t mean they require guilt.</p> <p>I dunno – it certainly isn’t like I think I’m a perfect parent or something or that LO is terrifically easy. We have our struggles and I don’t always respond to her how I know I should, etc. but meh – not worth really feeling guilty over. Move forward, focus on the positive. I’m raising a happy, healthy, well adjusted daughter and enjoying life. </p> <p>Moms need to cut themselves more slack! Unless you're a truly shit parent (and no one on here, worrying about if they are doing things right is a shit parent!), I don't think most moms should have much to feel guilty over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269415 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 08:49:00 +0000 catlady 2269415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I do not really feel mom guilt anymore.</p> <p>I felt hugely guilty after my maternity leave and I went back to work (in fact, I think I wrote one of my very first hellobee board posts about it). But as time went on, the guilt slowly went away.</p> <p>These days, instead of guilt, I think:<br /> - I am a better mom because I WOH<br /> - LO loves her daycare and thrives there<br /> - LO gets quality time with both me and DH in the mornings and evenings every day, and we eat dinner together every night<br /> - LO gets a ton of time with us every weekend<br /> - Because we get less time with LO, we are able to really enjoy the time more, and we don't really have to resort to entertaining her with TV or screens very often</p> <p>I am newly pregnant so I know I will probably feel guilt again once the new baby is here and LO gets less one on one time with me. But I'll deal with that in the future! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-have-mom-guilt#post-2269409 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 08:43:36 +0000 wonderstruck 2269409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes I feel guilty for not feelings guilt. Which is totally contradictory, but whatever. Like right now, I'm on a two week break between semesters. But I can't just pull the kids out of daycare every time I have a week or two break between semesters, there's policies about how many days the kids can miss without a doctor's note or something. So they're in daycare and I'm relaxing at home all by myself. And it's been AMAZING having that time to myself. But I feel like I should feel guilt, if that makes sense. Like I know other moms would probably judge me for enjoying this time instead of just guilt tripping myself about not having my kids with me 24/7 whenever possible.</p> <p>Although it helps that I did pull my toddler out one day to have some one-on-one fun time with me, and when we got to daycare to pick up his brother he had an absolute fit when he realized that the other kids had been at daycare playing without him. Apparently he would have rather done that than our zoo and splash pad outing. So yeah, no guilt here. </p>