https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 14:24:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-732829 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 13:52:21 +0000 sorrycharlie 732829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>alright..i'm so sad. i can't find my materials! that's what i get for having a, "grad school is over" shredding party. HAHA. oh well.</p> <p>i replied super quick yesterday but just for the record wanted to make sure that i don't look like a spaz - I don't get angry at people for misunderstanding the terms, just cringe inside :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-732709 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 12:24:36 +0000 T.H.O.U. 732709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with Mr Bee that sometimes using the term sex is uncomfortable. Like what would you call a "baby sex reveal party"? Instead of a gender reveal party. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-732683 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 11:44:56 +0000 tlcbaby 732683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am 31 and I honestly have never heard that there was a difference until just now. I don't think anyone should get worked up or offended if others use them interchangeably...just use it as an opportunity to politely correct them. :) Because I really had no idea - I am so glad I clicked on this post now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-732667 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 11:19:42 +0000 googly-eyes 732667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: I've honestly heard people (with masters degrees) argue both sides- that it has a partly biological basis, and that it doesn't/totally socially constructed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-732659 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 11:12:14 +0000 tinypiglet 732659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so glad you posted this, Mr. Bee! I, like several others, wince a little when people use "gender" where they really mean "sex." And those people include my ultrasound tech, who asked me when I got to my 17 week appt if I wanted to know the gender! :( </p> <p>I don't correct people either, but a couple of months ago, after hearing so many people use "gender" when referring to the baby's sex, I had a conversation with a friend over brunch about whether or not I was mixing up everything I learned about gender vs. sex in school. Nope! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-732584 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 09:53:32 +0000 MollyTeru 732584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for the open and honest discussion. It's refreshing to see adults having a calm and rational conversation about a topic that can be sensitive. In my family, we are two women raising a boy, and while he loves cars and trucks and getting muddy, he also loves baking and flowers and books. I try to let him explore whatever he wants. I imagine he will be confronted with stereotypes in school, but for now, things are not gendered in our house nor related to one's sex but rather each person is free to develop his or her own interests without limitations or judgement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-732533 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 09:01:11 +0000 sorrycharlie 732533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I swear I didn't forget the article - were moving furniture today and O is miserable so I haven't had much of a chance to get on! Also realized I deleted my grad school folders on computer so I have to hunt it down :) it's just an article that helps to explain the differences between the words. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-732490 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 08:21:18 +0000 Maysprout 732490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I was seen as a tomboy too, which for the most part my parents celebrated. But since what I enjoyed doing and was good at was deemed 'boyish' by lots of people I got the message that boys were smart and awesome and most girls were fairly boring and kinda dumb. It also made me embarrassed and try to hide the parts of my personality that people seemed to deem as 'feminine'. So for me being called a tomboy was a negative experience.</p> <p>@DigAPony: Kind of but if he has said 1950s gender stereotypes I'd be more likely to agree. By incorporating stereotypes into the definition of gender it perpetuates the problem instead of allowing the problem to be named appropriately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731960 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:22:04 +0000 anbanan15 731960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess our hospital is full of doctors, nurses and technicians that do not know the difference because every ultrasound machine says "Techs are not allowed to discuss ultrasound results. Gender will be revealed by your doctor". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731938 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:00:23 +0000 mamimami 731938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do know the difference although I don't use either term much. It doesn't offend me when people use the "wrong" word. </p> <p>OK, so this is probably another can of worms but I was mulling it over and - is it more offensive/annoying/wrong to say the wrong word than it is to give our children traditionally male or female names, or dress them in traditionally male or female clothing? I mean, what's the difference? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731807 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 15:45:29 +0000 DigAPony 731807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: I believe that quote is referencing a man who identifies with/has what society thinks of as feminine characteristics (sensitive, kind, familial), so it actually proves the point you're trying to make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731763 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 14:57:47 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 731763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: you bring up good points about sorting and classifying traditional roles. Your points in fact, make me examine what I do and say... Because I do think of my older daughter as a tomboy in a dress. But maybe I'm relying to much on the mid-twentieth century construct of gender roles. I don't know that we are genuinely past those, but maybe I'm not helpin the situation by thinking in those terms. It's an easy trap to fall into, though, considering I was deemed a serious tomboy and so I see my daughter through that lens.</p> <p>I will admit that it is so fun to see her get incredibly excited over helicopters, cars and fire trucks which were all things that I would have liked to but was disallowed from playing with. Maybe those limitations were part of what shunted me to he sciences, since chemistry and biology were socially acceptable for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731701 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 14:10:04 +0000 Dandelion 731701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't know there was a difference, either! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731476 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:43:35 +0000 Maysprout 731476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I understand the difference but I think a lot of times it's offensive. Like in the link digapony provided it says - "I identify as a man, but I identify with a lot of what it means to be a woman. I’m sensitive, kind, familial". I'm sorry but what? Those things just aren't gender specific. </p> <p>It drives me bonkers on HB when I see women talking about their little girls as if they're tomboys because they like to play outside and run around. Again not gender specific things but I think the popularity of separating out sex and gender leads to these types of conversations.</p> <p>I can understand discussing typical gender roles and gender identity vs what sex is in someone's pants - but just as being gay has a biological basis so does sexual/gender identity and by separating out sex as biological and gender as societal I think it diminishes the transgender experience, because there is a biological basis to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731354 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 09:03:09 +0000 pui 731354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: Thanks please link them when you get a chance!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731347 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:55:15 +0000 mrsjazz 731347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Very interesting thread to read! I know the difference and don't correct people even though I correct them in my head. I pick my battles.</p> <p>I also don't have a problem saying, "my baby's sex is ____" totally doesn't bother me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731342 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:49:12 +0000 sorrycharlie 731342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: I have some excellent articles on it that I'll grab later to share, I'm unfortunately on my way out the door but I have some good, easy to understand info on it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731332 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:40:50 +0000 lilyofthewest 731332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui. - gender is social/sex is biological is kind of the 101 level of explanation. Brain imaging and autopsy studies seem to indicate that there is a physiological component to gender as well. This doesn't indicate correlation vs causation, just that there is some physiologic relationship. </p> <p>The role that gender identity plays and how important/salient it is is also culturally dependent. If you live in a society with gender parity and without strong gendered social role, gender may be less important than in a culture where masculine and feminine a posed as diametrically opposed competitors with very different acceptable roles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731316 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:28:00 +0000 MrsBrewer 731316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can honestly say I had no idea these 2 words meant different things... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731310 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:20:51 +0000 pui 731310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I guess...? I'm still confused lol </p> <p>My basic question is : If gender is socially constructed, does that mean no one is born a specific gender? Is it completely our environment that sets the gender we identify as, or is it also based on our hormones, chromosomes, ect? If gender identity is also formed by chemicals we're born with, doesn't that mean is not completely a social construct? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender/page/2#post-731293 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:08:32 +0000 mrbee 731293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: is that the difference between gender and gender identity?</p> <p><a href="http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity" rel="nofollow">http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731281 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 07:54:48 +0000 pui 731281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know the official definitions, but sometimes I interchange the words (using the word Sex in some situations seems... Out of place?) </p> <p>I have a genuine question, I don't mean this in a snarky way at all! Maybe on of you experts here can help me understand this. When someone says they were "born a girl" when their Sex is male (or vice versa) is the implication that something in the way they were brought up/their environment is the cause of this for them? If gender is completely socially constructed, how can someone literally be born a different gender than their Sex? Wouldn't they just feel as though they have always been more feminine than their body, when in actuality something in their development lead them to feel that way? Wouldn't a perceived gender also be socially constructed? If not, and this person was literally born a girl in a male sexed body... Doesn't that mean that gender (whether you fall in to the category of being more "boyish" or "girly") is at least partially set at birth/in the womb (so it isn't all nurture, there is also some nature in there too) ? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731258 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 07:39:00 +0000 sorrycharlie 731258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sera_87: exactly this - they can relate but are not set in stone.</p> <p>My masters is in Marriage and Family Therapy - this includes individual, couple and family counseling..as well as sex therapy. That is why I get picky about it, because I have seen how these gender constructs can affect people negatively. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731253 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 07:34:39 +0000 sorrycharlie 731253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This drives me insane! I try not to correct people often on the boards but I always cringe. Sex is male or female, gender is more of a feminine / masculine difference. I can't stand gender constructs - ie, girls play with dolls, boys play with trucks. I did not have a gender scan, i had an anatomy scan, because who knows what my daughters personality will be like or how she will think of herself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731246 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 07:29:00 +0000 heffalump 731246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did a paper on gender identity disorder in grad school so I'm pretty knowledgeable on the subject and differences in sex and gender. It was a hard paper for me to write considering I don't think gender identity is a disorder and I don't think it should be in the dsm. Homosexuality used to be in the dsm because people thought of it as a disorder but it's been removed. Hoping they remove gender identity disorder too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731215 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 07:03:51 +0000 mrbee 731215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I think a number of terms have evolved over the past few decades... like the words gay and queer:<br /> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay#Shift_to_homosexual" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay#Shift_to_homosexual</a></p> <p>I try to stay up to date on the latest terms, so I don't inadvertently offend anyone! I also think that there needs to be a new term for biological sex that isn't suggestive of sexual intercourse... hopefully language evolves in that direction over time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731210 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 06:54:55 +0000 lilyofthewest 731210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. Lemon-lime</p> <p>Clearly my bias is towards calling it "learning the sex" and male/female. But, you can see that there are other ideas represented in this thread too. </p> <p>My personal feeling about separating people by gender for activities (school, bathrooms, "women's events", "men's events") is to let people self identify. If someone views themself as a boy, let them join the boys group. Don't argue with them and say, "no, you're really a girl because ___"</p> <p>I think the gender reveal party craze should be renamed "lets all eat some cake that has so much food coloring in it that our poo will be weird colors tomorrow!" I have a feeling this will not catch on though ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731201 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 06:41:16 +0000 lilyofthewest 731201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cherrybee -- I don't think there's a clear, cut and dried answer to that question. For the overwhelming majority of people, their chromosomes, primary sex characteristics, secondary sex characteristics, hormonal patterns, gender presentation and gender identity are all roughly concordant.</p> <p>But, there's also a whole lot of grey area. People can be chromosomally intersex. They may have a typical xx or xy genotype but have ambiguous primary sex characteristics or sex characteristics associated with the "other" sex due to atypical hormone receptors or due to atypical fetal hormone exposures. </p> <p>Thing get more muddy when you consider that there are imaging studies indicating the brains of transwomen (with or without hormone therapy or social transition to living as a woman) more closely resemble the brains of cisgender (non trans) women than the brains of men. So, maybe we should be talking about gender as both social role and identity and as "brain sex". </p> <p>Basically, it is usually straightforward: DNA = primary sex characteristics = secondary sex characteristics = gender identity = gender presentation. But, you can have mix/match amongst or within any of those points. Sex and gender are intricately tied together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731171 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 05:42:27 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 731171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest: Once again I learned something new on HB. So is it more correct to say male or female when referring to a person's sex even during am ultra sound? And then use boy or girl when your child tells you what they are? And teachers should separate classes by males and females instead of boys and girls just in case there are some males that feel like girls? And bathrooms should be labeled Male or Female and not Men or Women? Now, I understand more why some people are comfortable for female children using the boys' bathroom in school if the female feels like a boy. Lastly, the Gender Reveal party craze should really be Sex Reveal? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-know-the-difference-between-sex-and-gender#post-731157 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 03:55:48 +0000 Cherrybee 731157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, so I have been doing some research (well, actually, my husband has!). </p> <p>As far as the English Language is concerned, the words are basically interchangeable. Gender - from the Latin genus - refers to "kind or type" so male or female. It is not wrong to say "the gender of my fetus is female". In fact, before the 1950s, the word gender was only really used to describe grammatical catagories (like in German the word dog is male, the word cat is female). </p> <p>However, back in the 1970s, the terms were given more specific, differentiated meaning (as described above) in the context of feminist theory. This is still largely adhered to in the social sciences. </p> <p>However, in general usage, the words are very much used to mean the same thing. Gender is in fact commonly used to describe the physiology of non-human animals (what gender are those cats?) without any associated social implications. </p> <p>So, in short, if you were writing an academic piece, specifically in the field of social sciences, you would need to consider the differences between gender and sex as described above when choosing which word to use depending on the context of your paper. However, if, like me, you are just having a chat about the sex/gender/pink-or-blueness of your fetus, it is perfectly correct to use either term as far as I'm concerned. And if my little girl wants to be a little boy that's fine with me and I will show that by my actions and not what very specific words I use on the run up to her birth! </p>