https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 22:51:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2075368 Wed, 18 Feb 2015 14:08:47 +0000 Dandelion 2075368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I'm pretty territorial. Our parents all live nearby so they came by for a bit, but I really prefer to have my space.</p> <p>@Jancan: my MIL breaks my stuff all the time. I don't let her do ky dishes cause of this. I tell her it's cause I'm ocd and like things my way, but it's really cause I like my things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2074688 Wed, 18 Feb 2015 07:19:32 +0000 travellingbee 2074688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From reading all the boards like this I was convinced I did not want anyone around. Told my MIL to stay in a hotel. But then when I got home, she's cleaned the house, made food, decorated with flowers and was completely helpful in every way. So I asked her to stay for the week and never regretted it. It was so nice to have someone there thinking bout everything else so I could just worry about me and baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2074680 Wed, 18 Feb 2015 06:50:22 +0000 Rocker2014 2074680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! I had my.mom and MIL for about 10 days and it worked out surprisingly well. I was thrilled to have my MIL, she's an RN and has 7 kids so she knew all about baby stuff. I was more worried about my mom,who hadn't held a baby in 30 years, but she was great about cleaning, cooking and taking care of me. I.had been so nervous beforehand, especially since my mom and have our differences but as it turned out having them both there worked out really well since they both had their roles but also entertained each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2074628 Wed, 18 Feb 2015 02:15:32 +0000 BabyMats 2074628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: heck yes! My mom flipped ds schedule so he would sleep at night. She cleaned the heck out of my house and made dinner every night while my dad made breakfast everyday. Then they left and went to the beach or fishing to give me alone time. It was awesome. They stayed for about 2 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073753 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:48:35 +0000 travelgirl1 2073753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nooooo. I am terrible at accepting help. My mum pointed out that what I see as "interfering" is actually meant as "help". I am already freaking out that for this baby, we will likely be living with my ILs and having to deal with the many, many aunts, uncles and cousins that want to visit. I like being in a cocoon when my babies are born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073733 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:39:44 +0000 Alivoo01 2073733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I liked having food cooked and ready for me at meals, but I felt a little tight and stressed otherwise. My dad always had an opinion about everything and it got annoying. My mom hung back, but she doesn't cook so now I had to worry about feeding her when my dad left to go home - extra unnecessary stress for me when I was trying to figure things out for myself and a newborn. </p> <p>We'll see what everyone wants to do once LO#2 arrives. DS will be going to daycare during the day so it will be somewhat the same as before. Just need to worry about the evening routine - dinner, bath, playtime, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073724 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:37:14 +0000 chopsuey 2073724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom stayed with us for 10 days after DD was born. LOVED having her help out so much and we both cried when it was time for her to leave :(</p> <p>I didn't have any help after DS was born, but we were fine without. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073697 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:26:20 +0000 plantains 2073697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL came for the weekend but stayed with BIL and just popped round in the day with all kind of delicious treats so that was nice. My mum stayed with us for two weeks and I wept like a baby when she left because she was amazing. She cooked, cleaned, shopped, held the baby. She even insisted that DH and I go out to dinner one night and took care of the baby solo. She was my cheerleader with pumping and so encouraging through all the initial nursing pain. I desperately wish we lived in the same country so she could be over more often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073668 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:13:25 +0000 CakeLady 2073668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No! Short visits are ok, but when DS was born my I laws were in town, staying at a hotel nearby, and my mom was around a lot. It ended up being so much more work and craziness for us. One night they cooked us dinner and made a huge mess and used every dish in the kitchen. MIL wanted to take us out to a very fancy restaurant 5 days pp, with the baby! It was just too much all around. I'm still a little scarred by the experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073646 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:01:42 +0000 Miss Ariel 2073646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad, grandma, and brother flew out for about a week and a half, and I think it was more stressful than it would have been otherwise. Luckily they stayed in a hotel and just spent each day there, but still. Part of me thinks it would have been better if my mom was alive so she could have been there, but honestly she probably would have driven me crazy as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073644 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:01:06 +0000 singingbee 2073644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! My mom and my sisters all took turns vsisiting,especially after dh went back to work. it was very helpful. They went grocery shopping and cleaned and held baby so I could rest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073633 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:56:53 +0000 lady grey 2073633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom stayed with us for a few weeks and that was great. But she is a very low key, non demanding visitor. She is great with babies and she will help tidy up and make sur eI have food, etc. She doesn't like to cook and wouldn't do any deep cleaning, like the bathroom, but anything she did was great!</p> <p>What I hated was people coming to visit and staying too long and not bringing food. I even had a few people come to see the new baby and ASK US to feed them. That sucked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073621 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:50:40 +0000 Jancan 2073621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You know, my instincts told me I wouldn't want anyone around except DH, but everybody towards the end of pregnancy convinced me I'd want the help. I'd even got the idea in my head that inviting our mothers to stay was "the right thing to do," like as a gift to them. </p> <p>But it was bad. My mom stayed the first week and was actually helpful in terms of cooking, cleaning, staying out of the way, letting DH and I get a bit of rest while she held the sleeping baby. But I felt really trapped in terms of expressing all the jumbled emotions I had, because I'm not that comfortable with my mom and I thought she'd worry if she saw me crying. It felt like I had to keep up a front for her.</p> <p>Then MIL came. Holy whoa. @blackbird: @kjpugs: All that, yes. Complaining about the filthy house, complaining that we didn't have groceries for her, complaining that "we haven't done anything all day" !!!! Pressuring me to go out and nurse in public when I really wasn't ready. Breaking stuff in the kitchen. Taking the baby as soon as he started to fuss. Constantly saying shit like "what times does he eat? he couldn't be hungry yet!" or "what time does he nap? he's not tired, keep him up to play with me!" even though he was 8 days old. It was awful. I will definitely remember the way she made me feel for a long time.</p> <p>If we have another, I want to lock the doors and put bars on the windows, but then I wonder, will we need the help for #1 so we can focus on #2? I don't know. Sometimes I think living closer to them would help because it could be short visits instead of extended house guests. And then I also think I'm a terrible person for feeling this way about my well intentioned family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073606 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:43:07 +0000 MenagerieMama 2073606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: we moved across the country! But this only meant staying with us for weeks on end because they couldn't bear to be apart from their granddaughter instead of shorter local (or semilocal) visits. My mom still makes me feel guilty for being so far away!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073594 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:36:19 +0000 lamariniere 2073594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: I felt the same as you! I didn't want anyone around except for the occasional drop-in visitor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help/page/2#post-2073591 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:35:41 +0000 Mamasig 2073591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! My mom was great. She took care of me and the house while I took care of the baby. Sure, she sometimes got on my nerves but I got over it - home cooked meals and a clean house were worth it. It was also a blessing when DS2 was born. I think that's why DS1 adjusted so well. There was always someone around to pay him attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073589 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:34:41 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2073589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was awful. She was angry at us for not allowing her to watch the baby when I went back to work. She's also the type of person to tell me EVERYTHING I'm doing wrong and how there's something wrong with my baby if whatever she tries isn't working.</p> <p>My dad would come once or twice a week, and he was wonderful. LO was really colicky, and he would walk him around the house so I could shower, or eat lunch, or just nap. My dad rocked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073586 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:33:52 +0000 nana87 2073586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents were well-trained by my brother and sil about how to be helpful, lol-- they did dishes, brought and made food, took out the trash, walked the dogs, etc. sat and talked to me while I nursed but didn't try to take lo except when I was ready to nap or to change her diaper</p> <p>Dh's parents, not so helpful... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073567 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:26:04 +0000 mrsjyw 2073567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! We both loved having my mom w us. She fed us, did laundry, did over to wakes, etc. she was pretty much a third parent and followed all of our wishes. Ils were also helpful bringing us meals and not being overbearing on how they spent time with us or ds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073561 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:23:41 +0000 sunny 2073561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom came for a few weeks and I found it helpful, but my husband did not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073553 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:21:24 +0000 Tanjowen 2073553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is too nervous to be much help except the few times she came over and made dinner, and I honestly don't want her too much in private life because she is disapproving about many things. </p> <p>My MIL stayed for a week and was surprisingly helpful in doing household chores and handling night wake-ups. We had a few hiccups on parenting differences right out the gate, but I would have her come again and take care of LO1, but lay a few more ground rules to make things go smoother.</p> <p>Anyone else I just want to bring food, say hi and admire the baby and leave. I hated feeling like I had to entertain people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073534 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:13:12 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2073534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom came for almost a week and was helpful. She made dinner, changed diapers, took the babe every morning while we went back to bed, etc. she's the only one I would have though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073532 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:13:07 +0000 kjpugs 2073532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBrewer: we moved 11 hours away about a year before getting pregnant. There was a reason for that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073525 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:10:28 +0000 MrsBrewer 2073525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: That sounds horrible about your MIL!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073471 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 12:50:30 +0000 Corduroy 2073471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents were more helpful than not and I hope they come back for LO2's arrival since I'll need more help with LO1. They worked all day long but they made elaborate dinners every night. My mom couldn't seem to understand that regardless of how much prep I do I will not be sitting down to dinner exactly when it is ready. </p> <p>Baby likes the smell of food too and woke up/cried every night when we sat down to dinner. It isn't that I would rather eat a granola bar than my favorite foods but some foods are more practical than others. Crab cioppino - I'm looking at you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073454 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 12:44:52 +0000 kjpugs 2073454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is great- she often stays at a hotel but she's VERY helpful. She's definitely welcome to stay as long as she wants with LO#2!</p> <p>My MIL kept saying with DD "You'll want my help!" and we laughed because she is the WORST. HOUSEGUEST. EVER. Doesn't help pick up food or cook, makes a mess (didn't set our coffeemaker right and it spilled everywhere, and didn't turn off the shower right and semi-flooded our bathroom) and is disrespectful (she ran the disposal with a tsp in it- I heard it from the other room where I was pumping- and she LEFT IT IN THERE and didn't say anything! She also fell into our closet door, broke it, and when I came running she acted like nothing had happened.) So after that we told her we don't have guests anymore.She's just more hard to deal with than helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073431 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 12:34:25 +0000 LBee 2073431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only if they follow these commandments:</p> <p><a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/10-commandments-visiting-new-moms/" rel="nofollow">http://www.scarymommy.com/10-commandments-visiting-new-moms/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073421 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 12:29:34 +0000 MapleMoose 2073421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were constantly bombarded with guests in the hospital and at home with LO1. It was horrible. We were exhausted, trying to work on BF issues, and we just wanted to get to know our little bundle. We hated having all those people visit. Some of them just showed up whenever they wanted! We did appreciate my mom coming during the day the first few weeks so we could nap while she held and fed LO1. But she was very considerate of our space and let us have LO if we were awake while she would fix us lunch and wash bottles. That was really nice.<br /> Thankfully with LO2 we don't have to deal with it again. There were/are way too many snowstorms and illness going around that people can't visit much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073420 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 12:29:33 +0000 Happygal 2073420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! My mom stayed with us for 5 nights, I think? She arrived our 2nd day home from the hospital. I wasn't sure what kind of help I would need post c-section. She cleaned, cooked dinner, but most importantly, was good company. My DH had to work, so I would have been overwhelmed and lonely without her. My sister, L &amp; D nurse/baby nurse, also stayed a few nights and was helpful with childcare and breastfeeding tips.</p> <p>Haven't loved visitors dropping off food. I stress about coordinating times, whether I'll be in the middle of nursing, wrangling the dog, etc. Won't do that next time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-like-having-postpartum-help#post-2073401 Tue, 17 Feb 2015 12:22:46 +0000 Mama Bird 2073401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's help and there's help! Someone who's not scared to pick up a crying baby while I'm trying to get a spoon to my mouth is very welcome. Big family party to welcome the new kid... we can handle that and it's a nice change (though but there was one party that was cut very short by a very grumpy baby :happy: ) Someone who comes over every week to be treated to dinner and isn't bothered that I have to nurse in the bathroom because they don't have the decency to keep their visit short... I think not! </p>