https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 16:14:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2541007 Wed, 04 May 2016 12:41:04 +0000 Finfan 2541007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: yes, I agree. I have a deeper love and appreciation for him as a partner on our whole journey. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2541002 Wed, 04 May 2016 12:38:45 +0000 Foodnerd81 2541002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think more. Our relationship is certainly worse, we fight more, I have less patience, and we have no alone time, but through all the hard times in parenting there is no one is rather do it with and the idea of doing it without him is horrible. I look forward to the time when we can spend more time with each other but I'm glad he is on my team. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540996 Wed, 04 May 2016 12:36:16 +0000 sandy 2540996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: @BabyBoecksMom: I feel the same as you ladies. We had a great relationship before becoming parents and there was a lot of love and happiness and fulfillment. We both really wanted kids but before TTC we always said would would be totally fulfilled and happy without kids too (ummm, we just had no idea how much we would love our kids bc that's just stupid looking back :silly: ). </p> <p>So I don't think I love my spouse more now that we are parents...life has just happened to us and we've been through so much but I think my love for him was just as strong when it was just the two of us. When we got married it was for better and for worse and I really knew we meant that. And after being married for 7 years and having kids I think a marriage gets tested a little more and life decisions become harder and you experience deeper pain and loss than you could have ever imagined. And I think those experiences just reaffirmed my love for him. But no, I don't think I love him more now than I did before we became mom and dad </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540967 Wed, 04 May 2016 12:20:16 +0000 Anagram 2540967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Differently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540963 Wed, 04 May 2016 12:19:08 +0000 Plumeria 2540963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540959 Wed, 04 May 2016 12:16:46 +0000 Maysprout 2540959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>More. I've seen different sides of him as a father and they're great. But, being pregnant with the third is crazy, me and him are in need of a mini vacation sans kids, we're kinda in a pass each other sleepily in the hall stage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540943 Wed, 04 May 2016 12:10:54 +0000 MamaG 2540943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Differently. I won't say that I wasn't vested in our marriage, but I value our marriage differently. I want our marriage to work for our family not just for me. So now I fight for our family when I fight for my marriage. I really miss some of the spontaneity we had before that we no longer have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540918 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:57:14 +0000 catlady 2540918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>More, for me. Although it may just be that I feel my emotions more since becoming a mom (and also due to our several losses). I think maybe it helps that we always re-iterate to each other that we are part of a team. Pre-LO, we were both pretty independent (especially with grad school and then our careers, since we are in very different fields) so having LO has really bound us together more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540908 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:51:36 +0000 winniebee 2540908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: that's a really nice way of putting it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540898 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:43:16 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2540898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The same, and differently. I love watching DH be a father, and he's a great dad. He's been an amazing husband since LO came along, and is still amazing after I found out I was pregnant again, and constantly tired. He does so much, and I appreciate him so much. Before having kids, it was just us, and I did the majority of the household work because I could. Its been amazing seeing him step up. It came with some bickering though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540897 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:43:14 +0000 Cherrybee 2540897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love him 1000 times more. We've been through so much together as parents. He's seen me at my worst (shitting myself in labour, post natal anxiety) and yet he hasn't left me for a more perfect woman. How can I not love him more?? The magic has most definitely taken a knock because of lack of quality time, but I don't think that's *love* - love is what's left when the magic has gone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540880 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:33:59 +0000 SweetiePie 2540880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not going to answer the poll because I'm just not sure how. I think that we have much more extreme highs and lows since having our son. Some moments I feel such an overwhelming love for my husband as a dad that I could sob. But I also want to kill him way more than I did before :-) My patience is way lower and the same annoying habits he had before annoy me more. We definitely argue more, but we also get over it a lot sooner and make up nicely. We do communicate more, but it's still not enough (he's just not a feelings/talking guy). </p> <p>So I can't say I love him the same...but not less...and not more. Maybe differently is the right answer. But I still have romantic love for him, we have plenty of alone time and go on regular date nights. I still see him as the man I started dating 17 years ago. So it's not like I only love him as a partner/parent. So I really don't know how to answer!<br /> Plus we had a REALLY rough first year of parenthood. So sometimes that still plays back in my mind, despite being in a great place now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540879 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:33:26 +0000 ShootingStar 2540879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, no doubt. Since having DS he's shown how amazing he truly is. He is the best husband, partner and best friend anyone could hope to have. It also melts my heart to see him with DS, and see how much they love each other. I couldn't do this life without him.</p> <p>Yes, things are less romantic and we have less opportunities to feel like we're in love. But I wouldn't trade it for the life we have now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540874 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:31:04 +0000 snowjewelz 2540874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted differently. Because I agree that since having DD there is obviously much less us time, and we do snap at each other, or sometimes focus on our own stress more. But at the same time, it's very attractive to see him as a dad. He solo parents way more than I do, and with certain things, he does way better than me w/ DD! So that does make me love him in a whole new light. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540872 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:30:53 +0000 looch 2540872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another one in the "same" camp. Love waxes and wanes over a lifetime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540866 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:27:56 +0000 youboots 2540866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's made me appreciate him more. He's really transitioned into parenthood gracefully and makes my life easier as much as he can. I do love him more because I see him in a new way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540862 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:26:11 +0000 gingerbebe 2540862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is a rockstar. I don't know how having 2 is gonna affect things, but since having our son he's just been such a great dad and husband. I feel bad because I feel like I'm constantly so tired and don't have as much to give him, especially because I got pregnant with #2 before DS was a year old, but he's always just like "let's keep the pain train going - let's get everyone to 3 and potty trained and forget about having a life until we're 40." Gotta love a man like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540858 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:25:07 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2540858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel the same way. We were such an awesome couple before. I still think we are, but having kids just makes the relationship harder. We both work full time, plus he has 2 side businesses (so he can eventually drop his current "job"), so I hardly ever see him after we put the kids to bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-love-your-spouse-more-since-having-kids#post-2540851 Wed, 04 May 2016 11:19:19 +0000 winniebee 2540851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I'm in the minority here, but I don't love my spouse "more" since having kids. Having kids has resulted in us having less alone time, being too tired to be intimate as much as we used to, and has generally made my patience for his annoying habits less! We had a really awesome relationship before kids. That said, I think he's an awesome hands on dad. He's always up for adventure and encourages me to be more laid back in my parenting (I am naturally uptight). The relationship he has with our boys really makes my heart melt.</p> <p>So, I don't think I love my spouse LESS, I definitely don't think I love him more, either. Am I alone here? </p>