Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Jul 2026 19:07:14 +0000 wheres_c on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223732 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 10:42:05 +0000 wheres_c 223732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm an only child, and have always wanted just 1. SO is from a family of 6 and has wanted at least 2. Now that we know baby #1 will be a boy, I am open to the second to try for a girl. But having just 1 seems like it would be easier. purrpletulips on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223715 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 10:23:23 +0000 purrpletulips 223715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm an identical twin so I never got to be the only child. We are having two and that is more because DH wanted more than 1 child. Meridian on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223701 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 10:16:01 +0000 Meridian 223701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are currently TTC, so no kids yet... we talk about having 2 kids and how having 2 is "ideal", one girl and one boy. But in my head, secretly, the thought of having ONE kid is daunting enough... the idea of 2 terrifies me!! ladyfingers on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223683 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 10:09:24 +0000 ladyfingers 223683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm the opposite. I really want 2, but I think we can only have 1 financially. I hate it because both DH and I are only children, and it just makes me sad that they won't have a big family at all like we did when we were growing up with all the aunts and uncles and cousins and everything. Everybody is so spread out now, or dead, or not talking. looch on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223328 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 02:33:05 +0000 looch 223328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't feel guilty about making the decision to just have one child. For me, it's not so much about resources, but about increased risk of having a child with disabilities. I have a brother with special needs and I am not on the young age of the scale any longer. 808love on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223320 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 01:59:11 +0000 808love 223320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are only having one (that I know of) because we have just enough on our plate, without overdoing it ---time, resources, energy, health, etc. Yes, I feel a little guilty since I know siblings can add so much to a family. I read a book on advantages (and things to address) of single child families. That helped me realize there can be benefits too. But yes, I hope she doesn't get mad one day. We will just make sure she has lots of good lifelong friendships since we don't plan on moving anywhere. :D lovehoneybee on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223309 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 00:41:43 +0000 lovehoneybee 223309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @chrispygal: I agree about the siblings=/=BFFs thing. I have 6, and hardly speak to all but 1 (they don't approve of my life choices...I wax essentially disowned). It'd be great if that was a guaranteed closeness, but it's just not. chrispygal on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223307 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 00:21:55 +0000 chrispygal 223307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We get enormous outside pressure to have a second child when we tell people that that we are probably only going to have one. The pressure comes from family, friends and even acquaintances. It's amazing how people like to tell you what you should and should not do. Our decision was made based on a number of items including my age (38), career, finances, etc. The sibling argument is valid, but both DH and I are not very close to our siblings at all so we know just because you have more than one child, doesn't mean the children will get along. Now that little one is here I do feel the tug to one day have another because honestly, this is the best feeling ever. I fully expected this and knew it would be tough. That being said, I still feel like one child is all we can handle well, especially right now. If we have a second it won't be for the reasoning of providing a sibling to LO. It would be because we feel it is something that is right for our family and that we would have the time, energy, and resources to devote to baby #2. Boogs on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223285 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 23:00:22 +0000 Boogs 223285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ YES! My one is soooo much worked and I'm scared for another, but DH insists he needs a sibling to have a playmate. I agree that LO would love that, but I'm really not looking forward to two. Shoot, just today I was watching 3 kids alone at the beach for a short amount of time and the oldest one had to pee (he's 3 so when he has to go he has to go). I had no was of getting all the kids to the restroom quickly enough, so I had him pee by our shade structure because I didn't know what else to do and I felt bad for doing it. I always think about having multiple kids and scenarios like that. skibobrown on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223269 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 22:28:42 +0000 skibobrown 223269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Honestly, now that I know how difficult it is to have a child, I think I'd probably be happy with just one... but yes, we do feel like we have to have at least one more kid. DH is an only child, and both of us are from very small families. If we only have the one child, it's possible that she will never have *any* first cousins, so we feel like we at least owe her a sibling. MrsSPB on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223230 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:44:01 +0000 MrsSPB 223230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are only having one. People keep telling us we'll change our mind and that I'll want to be pregnant again. They also tell us that it's selfish not to give our little girl a sibling. I politely tell them that I'm an only child and loved every minute of it. I enjoyed having my parents' undivided attention and am looking forward to providing the same for my daughter. I think every family has to do what's best for them and not listen to the outside influences. erwoo on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223227 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:40:38 +0000 erwoo 223227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've always wanted four (before I turned 30 and was younger!) but two is enough unless we have an accident.... then we'll be having three! LOL! A girl would be nice to sort of balance things out in our household! ;) lilteacherbee on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223221 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:33:14 +0000 lilteacherbee 223221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We're probably having 3 (maybe only 2?), but it really makes me sad when couples are made to feel guilty for having only one child. DH is an only child and he absolutely loves it. He had an incredible imagination as a kid and he was very independent. The only thing that bothers him about being an only child is the fact that our kids will only have one aunt/uncle (I have one sister). Children aren't doomed to be miserable/lonely simply because they don't have siblings! lovehoneybee on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223215 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:24:09 +0000 lovehoneybee 223215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @sandy: My BIL and SIL had the easiest baby in the world with their first...their second *screamed* day in and day out for 10 months, with 15-20 minutes of passing out every few hours in between. No one could console him, nothing helped...I didn't know DH then, but all of the family--MIL and FIL included--still talk about it with a shudder. He's 5 now, and has a smoker's rasp. That story alone makes me want to have only one (and hope it's the easy one, lol). @mediagirl: We're only planning on having the one, and I feel the same way. Maybe if we won the lottery or something we'd consider a second someday, but as it stands we feel we can give one a good life, but two would be harder. We don't really talk about it with our families, but I've been amazed by the judgement even the idea of only having one seems to bring. I haven't even had this one yet, and we're already being told how selfish we'll be if we don't get on giving him or her a sibling ASAP. mediagirl on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223203 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:15:37 +0000 mediagirl 223203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We're only having one and I'm sure I'll feel guilty here and there about not giving her a sibling. At the same time, I just have to think we're doing what's bestfor our family and for her. Andrea on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223166 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 20:47:05 +0000 Andrea 223166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yeah, we were thinking about being one and done but I think DD would like a sibling so we went for #2. chopsuey on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223137 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 20:21:37 +0000 chopsuey 223137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We talked about just having one, but didn't want LO to be an only child. Excited for #2 though! I think we're gonna be done after 2, but something tells me I may want to try for #3 eventually.. :T sandy on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223122 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 20:09:43 +0000 sandy 223122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Before having LO I was thinking 2 or 3...but now that she's here I feel so fulfilled and want to spend all my attention on her...she's just perfect to me and I don't have any ounce of baby fever. It's silly but people tell me that you only have one easy baby so I am freaked out at the thought of having #2 and he/she being super difficult. We will almost 100% have another baby but as of now I feel like I could be happy being one and done matador84 on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223119 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 20:08:11 +0000 matador84 223119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't even have one for 6 more weeks, and I am already thinking I don't know if I can do this again! Part of me is definitely guilty though about only having one. But, I do (oddly enough) have quite a few friends who are only children and their parents have always been able to pool all their resources towards only 1 child...and that is kind of appealing to me. MrsTiz on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223112 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 20:02:55 +0000 MrsTiz 223112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Me!!!!! I want one child for sure, but i've never been the kind of person who kids enjoy being around nor do I get all mushy every time I see a child. I know I want one but i'm genuinely terrified that I'll be a bad mom so even though DH wants two i'm worried I won't want that. *I don't mean bad mom as in abusive or neglectful, I just don't know if i'm going to bond with a baby, idk. eek. Rubies on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223105 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 19:58:58 +0000 Rubies 223105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I feel guilty because I always wanted four but now that I have just one, I've changed my mind to having only two. Mrs. Bee on "Do you only want one child but feel like you have to have 2?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-only-want-one-child-but-feel-like-you-have-to-have-2#post-223103 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 19:57:45 +0000 Mrs. Bee 223103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Does anyone only want one child, but feel like you have to have two because you feel guilty about not providing your child with a sibling? I always wanted two, but it really was much easier with 1! But I'm sure that it will get easier once they are older and keep each other company. Do you want to be one and done but are going for #2?