https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 22:11:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876322 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 22:31:52 +0000 Cchoi4 1876322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>College for sure. Grad school - it depends on what and their need for it. Wedding - we will contribute but don't want our children to grow up thinking "mom and dad are paying for the wedding." I personally think they should save for their own wedding and have one that is within their means. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876272 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 21:15:02 +0000 mrsjyw 1876272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are saving for college, grad school, and will hopefully contribute to wedding as well. We will always try to do what we can beyond that if there's a need for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876261 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 21:03:43 +0000 daniellemybelle 1876261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Basically, we will do as much as we can, when and where that's the best choice for our child.</p> <p>I want to give her everything. But financially we won't be able to, and that may not be the best choice for her. I can't pretend to know what the future holds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876143 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 19:26:13 +0000 Skadi 1876143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None. Nada. Nothing. </p> <p>This idea is culturally quite new. I don't think it's right that a lot of parents feel pressured to give money to their kids as adults. </p> <p>My parents didn't help me with anything, and I'm fine with that. More than fine, really. There are tons of ways we will help our children get a good start in life...but money isn't one of them. </p> <p>Of course, we'd help in a true emergency, with unforeseen medical expenses or a place to stay temporarily if they lost their job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876127 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 19:14:49 +0000 Tanjowen 1876127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will contribute to college. As of now, our state pays for most of college if they maintain a high GPA, so hopefully will have enough in there for undergrad and grad school. We also want to give a lump sum for the wedding (my husband's parents did this and it paid for our fabulous honeymoon!). Beyond that neither of us expected nor received anything from our parents and don't expect we will provide further either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876118 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 19:08:07 +0000 Mae 1876118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We'll contribute to college to the extent we are able. I'm sure we'll contribute some amount to a wedding (but more of a fixed dollar sum, not just paying for the whole thing). We won't be buying a house (do people do this???) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876101 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 18:45:27 +0000 Ginabean3 1876101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely college and hopefully grad school as well. I'd love to pay for a wedding and I would loan them money for the down payment of a house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876100 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 18:44:51 +0000 artsyfartsy 1876100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would love to contribute to college as much as possible. We'll be starting a fund soon for our kids. I'd love to pay for grad school too but I highly doubt we could afford it. My children will always be welcome to live with me but only in emergencies or due to situations out of their hands. I will always encourage them and show them how to stand on their own two feet. I won't raise or enable a moocher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876096 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 18:40:15 +0000 yellowbird 1876096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would like to contribute enough for college so they get through undergrad debt free. That really depends on them picking a reasonable school that we can afford as well, so it may just be a portion depending on where they go. We will contribute to weddings as much as we can but again won't go bankrupt if their desires are not within our means. That's as far as I'm planning on. </p> <p>They are always welcome to live at home if the need arises. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876095 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 18:34:59 +0000 yin 1876095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The plan is to help our kids with college tuition. Ideally they will attend college in state (a good ol' 20 minute walk away or 2 minute car drive) and live at home (hehe). As far as providing them beyond college, I don't think that will be financially feasible for us right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood/page/2#post-1876045 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 17:02:33 +0000 Anagram 1876045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: yeah, I think it totally depends on the kids which is why I said I'd have to wait and see. I've had friends whose parents helped a lot financially and they were responsible with that help, worked hard, made straight a's, etc. </p> <p>And I've had friends whose parents paid for everything, who partied all the time and acted like school was a joke--I had a friend who dropped her classes a week after the semester started our second year, so she could take the refund without her parents knowing-and she pretended to go to college while just partying with that money. She *still*to this day lives off them, financially, and we are now 34! I love her, and we are still in touch, but I feel like her parents enabled her very bad behavior.</p> <p>My husband's parents helped him somewhat with college--but not in the typical american way of just writing a check. My husband lived WITH his dad in an apartment in my DH's college town. And they both worked any job they could get to help pay DH's tuition (my husband worked at Mcdonald's, 7-11, a maintenance crew cleaning office buildings). No job was too "lowly" and I think that gave him a good work ethic.</p> <p>I just wonder if I'll be really myopic about my own LOs when they get to that age. You know? So many parents don't really have a clue what their kids are really like/what they are up to. I'd like to think I will be more in tune with LO than that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1876040 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:53:01 +0000 Freckles 1876040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents paid for my tuition and have unexpectedly helped us with some things. I am forever grateful for their help. I would feel selfish if i didn't do the same for our kids since i got all this help (and head start) from my parents. College tuition is a lot cheaper in Canada, and DH and i talked about how we'd only financially support our LOs going to a US college if it was for a top program. Hopefully we'll also be able to help them with their weddings as well.</p> <p>@Anagram: I hope that we can still raise our kids to be self-sufficient, financially aware and hard-working even if we provide them with financial help. DH and I always had the "we'll do it on our own" mentality as well, but my parents were adamant about providing us with some financial gifts as they would rather give it to us now than wait until they're gone. I think they were paranoid that we'd divorce if we were struggling financially at the start of our marriage! *rolling eyes* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1876034 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:48:27 +0000 namaste 1876034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We definitely plan to help with college. We didn't get any help with college which is why we didn't go and went straight into owning a business after high school. It was significantly less expensive but I'd love for our daughter to go to college.</p> <p>I would also love to help with the house in a small way, depending on the situation. I think there's a way to do it (ie when she's working, etc.) that isn't over the top. I have friends who are married, working great jobs and they live at home with their parents. Their parents pay for their car, insurance, cell phones, etc. I just couldn't do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1876026 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:38:25 +0000 lizzywiz 1876026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: I lean this way, too.</p> <p>The one thing I would definitely do if we live far away from each other is help pay for any travel to see each other. A young family rarely has the cash to see long distance relatives and if I have the money I will totally finance plan tickets/ hotels/ rental car/ the works. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1876022 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:35:50 +0000 twoofeverything 1876022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our goal to pay for four years of in-state tuition. Room and board will be up to them, and I plan to spend A LOT of time helping them apply for scholarships to help with that. Hopefully we will be able to help with weddings, as well.<br /> I think one of the coolest things my Mom did for me was to spend a little of her personal budget on me and buy me one "little" kitchen or household necessity each week when she could afford it. I think she started when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. A $3 mixing spoon one week, a frying pan when she could swing it, drinking glasses, a dish scrubber, a can opener, etc. I didn't realize how awesome that was until I watched my friends struggle to pay for all of that stuff! Although I have replaced some of it, most of those items are still getting used today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1876012 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:28:53 +0000 PurplePumps 1876012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents paid for my college, I lived with them after graduating and they also gave me one of their cars since they didn't need it. I'm forever thankful for their support in getting me started without having financial worries and would love to provide that to our future kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1876008 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:28:17 +0000 Mrs.KMM 1876008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Obviously it is a long ways off and you never know what direction life with turn but ...</p> <p> I plan to be able to cover tuition, room, and board for 4 years at a public, in-state school for college (this is what mine and DH's parents did for us). Anything beyond that (out of state, private, fun expenses, etc) they will have to cover themselves either through scholarships and/or loans.</p> <p>I also would like to pay for a wedding (again, what our parents did for us) but we'd set the budget and definitely would have a say in the planning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1876005 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:25:43 +0000 Cherrybee 1876005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uni is the plan -and driving lessons/first car. If we have more money by that time we will see! I plan to help her as much as I possibly can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875986 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:13:59 +0000 Anagram 1875986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I won't really know what we'll do until we're there. </p> <p>I guess a catastrophic even could happen to change our finances, or we may know more about LO and figure out a path that would benefit her more, but theoretically it would be nice to help LO pay for undergrad. But that idea would come with strings--like is she choosing an institution appropriate for her major? (I wouldnt't pay for a child of mine to go to an Ivy League school if they want to be a teacher, for example. It's just unnecessary, unless they have a giant scholarship).</p> <p>I like the idea of "matching". LO can work hard and we will match what she manages to generate herself through part time jobs. That would go for first car, college room and board, and *maybe* grad school.</p> <p>It really just depends. My husband and I both have graduate degrees, and we both worked our way through school (undergrad and grad). He has 0 loans and I have less than $15,000 left. We paid for our own weddings. We definitely wouldn't/didn't accept help from our parents for things like down payments. So we'd like to raise our LO in the same vein--self sufficient and aware of finances and hard working.</p> <p>But...you know, who knows? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875966 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:03:31 +0000 Raindrop 1875966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are thinking of giving each child a set amount when they graduate high school. We are not sure what amount that will be because it will depend on our income and how we save and basically the future is unpredictable sometimes. We hope it's a large sum like 50k more or less. </p> <p>They can choose to do whatever with it, spend it on *some of* college, save it for a wedding, save it as a down payment for a house or even buy a car. We hope to instill some money values in them and hope they don't just buy random stuff with it and actually use it for their future but it's really up to them.</p> <p>We are just consider this... because we have been brainstorming what is fair? What if one kid goes to a pricier college than another. What if one kid gets married and one doesn't? What if one wants money forever but the other doesn't? So if we just give all kids one lump sum we are being fair. Right? :) I don't know again up in the air. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875938 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:40:24 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1875938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will contribute as much as we can to their college education and their wedding. </p> <p>But grad school and home? Unlikely, unless we win the lotto or something. :-P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875935 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:39:08 +0000 Kimberlybee 1875935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've already started a college fund but will advise that it will probably only cover partial expenses with everything rising in costs. We'll pay for her first car and cover car insurance until she finishes school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875931 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:37:39 +0000 Lindsay05 1875931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are probably not going to straight out pay for anything. If we can help with college, then it will be after they are done. We will not be buying vehicles, paying rent, etc. If they are in a jam, we will help out but learning to make/manage money is what becoming an adult is all about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875921 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:33:37 +0000 MrsScallop 1875921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would love to help our kids out as much as we can (and feel they deserve depending on circumstances) with things like college, weddings, maybe the first car. They won't know that growing up though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875918 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:29:34 +0000 Bao 1875918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We won't be paying for college, but will help here and there if we can. We will pay for a certain amount for their wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875908 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:26:30 +0000 meredithNYC 1875908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will help with college, though not entirely, as I think taking out loans (even a small amount) can give children an additional feeling of ownership/responsibility. And we will help with the cost of a wedding. No car, no house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875848 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:00:41 +0000 birdofafeather 1875848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>our parents helped as they could/can and we'll do the same. we hope to pay for college outright, help with a wedding and/or downpayment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875828 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 14:47:35 +0000 Aimed 1875828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Collegeand grad school definitely. Weddings - forget it, if you're old enough to get married, you pay for the wedding you can afford, by yourselves as a couple. Good practice for the future. House downpayment - doubtful, again, I am pretty big on standing on your own two feet. Also, I am very aware that parents paying for adult childrens choices often come with strings attached no matter how careful we try to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875826 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 14:47:30 +0000 loveisstrange 1875826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>College as much as we are able (she has a college fund) and a portion towards a wedding up to a certain amount. </p> <p>House buying is an adult responsibility. Thats on her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-on-providing-for-your-children-into-adulthood#post-1875824 Wed, 24 Sep 2014 14:46:49 +0000 sunny 1875824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We plan to pay for college and maybe grad school, depending on how we're doing against our retirement goals. I'm thinking they'll be on their own for wedding &amp; a down payment. If she needs to move in with us I would be supportive of that, as long as she has a plan in place. </p>