Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 07:07:30 +0000 littlebug on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309384 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 10:09:00 +0000 littlebug 309384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom and step-dad will likely not need any help from us, financially. They have named me as their medical Power of Attorney, so should something happen, I would be the one making decisions about medical care, placement, etc. But they have already written out a living will for me to follow. I imagine that my ILs are also financially set. Though I'm sure they have made zero plans for their future, as far as nursing home or living will is concerned. If they have named a Power of Attorney, we are not aware of it. I'm not sure about my dad. I'm pretty sure he has a living will, but I'm not sure who he has named to be Power of Attorney - probably my sister. And I have no idea where he is, financially. ShootingStar on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309334 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:43:29 +0000 ShootingStar 309334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents are totally set for retirement and are actually already retired. They have government pensions plus savings and they do very well. My mom is hoping to live off their pensions and not touch the savings and to leave that to my brother and I. My IL's are another story though. They're divorced and neither has a ton saved up. I'm a little worried it's going to fall to us to take care of one or both of them. MIL will probably be ok, she's very frugal but I know spends a lot of money on helping SIL support herself. DH thinks FIL will just work until he dies, but I don't think that's a very viable retirement plan. We would try to do what we can, but we live in a really expensive area and I'm already not sure if we'll be able to afford 2 kids due to the cost of daycare. And we need to buy a new house once kids get to school age because the district we live in now is one of the worst in the state. Mrs. Yoyo on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309331 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:42:13 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 309331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't feel obligated, but that's because they would never want me to feel obligated. If there is truly a need, of course I would help. I feel a bit conflicted about the ILs for several reasons, though. oliviaoblivia on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309320 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:35:11 +0000 oliviaoblivia 309320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Unfortunately we'd be more inclined to help the ones that won't likely need our help. MIL is having some financial difficulties right now due to her own frivolous spending, lavish lifestyle, and refusal to work. She has blown through a sizeable divorce settlement and expects us to continue her lifestyle which we can't do. Our attempts to help her in a reasonable way have been brushed off. We've had a few difficult conversations about her situation. lavender on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309292 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:20:16 +0000 lavender 309292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely, no questions asked. My mom has done so much for me and I've seen her struggle as a single mom ( father passed away as a teenager) raising 3 children. My IL's are in a more comfortable living situation so we don't have to worry about them as much. Mrsbells on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309291 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:19:59 +0000 Mrsbells 309291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes absolutely! yoursilverlining on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309286 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:18:10 +0000 yoursilverlining 309286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents will most likely need some financial help, whic I am happy to provide. I will also be the one to help physically care for them, as my brother isn't in a position to offer much assistance right now (or perhaps, ever). My MIL will be fine financially because she owns outright ocean view land in La Jolla, CA (worth $$$$$$$), and has a pension of about 60k a year, plus substantial savings. DH is an only child though, so we will be caring for her in ways other than financially. I expect to care for all the aging parents, and also feel that it's my duty and responsibility to do so. hilsy85 on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309258 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:00:39 +0000 hilsy85 309258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't think either of them will need help, but we would definitely offer financial help if they needed it. I don't know if we would move them in with us (we don't have the space...and I'm kind of glad, because if we did then we'd have to make that decision!) but we would pay to get them in home help, move to an assisted living community if necessary, medical treatments, etc. LuLu Mom on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309170 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 07:57:33 +0000 LuLu Mom 309170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ If they needed help I know we would for sure give it, however both sets of our parents are set for the future and have planned very well. Mrs. Pickle on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309147 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 07:41:34 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 309147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ If they ever need our help we'll be there for them. regberadaisy on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309127 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 07:26:43 +0000 regberadaisy 309127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, it's customary in Chinese traditions. Beyond that I want to. Asian parents don't really think much about "retirement". Sure my mom's got a nest but I don't want to her deplete it with living expenses. Currently I give her money whenever our finances allow around birthdays, holidays and Chinese New Year. She lives with my oldest brother now as is customary. But if she ever wanted to live with us I know my husband won't say no. Although we might have to build a MIL suite! :P mediagirl on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309115 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 06:48:37 +0000 mediagirl 309115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No, both of our parents are well off. They grew up at a time when working hard and buying a home really got them a lot. His parents have SS, a military pension and military medical benefits. My parents saved really well. Dad had a buy-out that they invested well. They're all doing very well. If anything, I would think they may need to help us someday! Haha. anonysquire on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309100 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 05:34:16 +0000 anonysquire 309100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents are good to go financially. I always tell them that I will be the one taking care of them when they get older though. I have worked as a CNA and nurse so I wouldn't mind at all taking care of them! My in-laws have 2 other sons that should have to take care of them. SugarplumsMom on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309097 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 05:31:35 +0000 SugarplumsMom 309097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thankfully, my mom and in-laws don't need help financially. Even if for whatever reason, my mom would need help, she is too stubborn and proud to ask, she's also pretty resourceful, so she'd be able to handle unforseeables. The in-laws wouldn't need help 1) they don't have a mortgage 2) live in Sweden, so healthcare is free 3) they're very responsible with money autumnlove on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309064 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 02:18:20 +0000 autumnlove 309064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely, we will help out my parents and in laws if they ever need it! looch on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-309062 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 02:10:51 +0000 looch 309062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents do not need our help at the moment, because they own their home outright, have no debt, have savings and insurance and my father is retired and collecting his pension. It doesn't mean though, that they are safe from anything and everything that can happen. If there is a chronic or terminal illness, that could potentially wipe everything out, so we're open to helping as needed. I can't really say what my IL's financial plans are. I don't think we'll have to worry about them either. Meridian on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308931 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 21:55:43 +0000 Meridian 308931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents are all set (knock on wood!!) but my ILs worry me... They are retired and have very little savings and almost no retirement money. They are ok for the time being, but not sure what will happen when they run out of money. The idea of them living with us in the future terrifies me!! Mrs. Pen on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308705 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 18:32:06 +0000 Mrs. Pen 308705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @tororojo: same here. I know that neither my parents or IL's are equipped for retirement and it really does worry me. I don't know what the future will hold, but hopefully we can continue making wise financial decisions and be able to help. That is far in the future though as my dad is turning 50 just this year. Hopefully by the time they need help we will have a house and could offer a place for them to live and help them that way but I don't foresee my parents needing that kind of help for 15-20 years if even! MamaMoose on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308698 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 18:23:32 +0000 MamaMoose 308698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I know for a fact that neither will need our help financially. But I would absolutely have any one of my parents or in laws live with us if their health prohibited them for caring for themselves (my in laws are smokers though and I would insist they quit before letting one or both of them live with us). DigAPony on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308688 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 18:11:40 +0000 DigAPony 308688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't think my parents or in-laws will be in dire financial straits in their old age, but if they were and we could help, we absolutely would. I don't know if I could handle any of them living with us, but if that needed to happen, we'd make it work. Minnie_Girl on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308677 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 17:58:56 +0000 Minnie_Girl 308677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ That's a tough question for me. I'd happily pay my parents back for all they've done for me, or offer them more tangible help--like a roof over their heads. But I'd never loan them money because of poor financial management. There's a difference between being helpful and being taken advantage of. Even with family. Jumpingjacks on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308665 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 17:48:22 +0000 Jumpingjacks 308665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are anticipating that my ILs may require our help, particularly after one passes and the other is left on his/her own. We have discussed having them live with us. If it comes to this it will be difficult because I don't think they would ever ask for our help so we will have to tread lightly. But we would be willing to do it. My parents would not likely need our help in the same way as they have quite a bit more money. pinkcupcake on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308648 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 17:35:21 +0000 pinkcupcake 308648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely, I'd do whatever I could. Bookish on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308647 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 17:35:10 +0000 Bookish 308647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've actually been worrying about this lately. My ILs are terrible with their money and do not have any retirement to speak of. They are both in poor health even though they are only in their late 50s. At this point, we could not help them financially, and it already makes me uncomfortable when my MIL asks for a loan. I'm really not sure what we will do if/when they retire. Moving in with us will not be an option due to their life choices (drinking, drugs, etc) so..I don't know? Can't just throw them out on the street, but... I don't know :( sunny on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308640 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 17:31:44 +0000 sunny 308640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We will help out our parents if they need it, and I would love to help them even if they don't need it so that they can enjoy some luxuries. I'd love to be able to buy my parents a new Lexus for instance. CupQuakeWalk on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308630 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 17:13:21 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 308630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We would absolutely do whatever they wanted and needed. They don't need anything and aren't even above 50 yet so I think it'll be awhile. Ill never let my parents go without (if I can help it) we help them currently by doing small stuff---yard work, carrying heavy things, etc. but I have teenage brothers who still live at home and my mom has them do most of the chores (trash, unloading groceries, racking the yard's leaves) Turd Ferguson on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308601 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 16:58:15 +0000 Turd Ferguson 308601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely, we'd do what we could. ladyfingers on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308592 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 16:51:16 +0000 ladyfingers 308592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We would if we could. So far everybody seems to be doing fine, I get nervous when I think about them getting older and sick though. :( JennyD on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308582 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 16:47:27 +0000 JennyD 308582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ To some extent, I would/will help my mom. Not so for my dad. I believe he has made terrible financial, and other, decisions his entire life to the extent that he has destroyed relationships with his brothers and his children, and he may have to suffer that. That said . . . I don't know I could stand by and watch him live in the street . . . Running Elley on "Do you plan to help your parents financially (or otherwise) in their old age?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-plan-to-help-your-parents-financially-or-otherwise-in-their-old-age#post-308571 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 16:35:31 +0000 Running Elley 308571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents are set and so are my in laws but we'd definitely help if we needed to! We'll for sure help if they're ever medically disabled and can't take care of themselves.