https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 17:37:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-77289 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:13:28 +0000 daniellemybelle 77289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No - like others, our parents (well, DH's parents) still help us out by paying DH's car insurance (he's still on their policy), and a few times they have given us cash when things were tight. DH's parents are very well off and will both collect 6 figure pensions, so we won't need to help them.</p> <p>My parents, though, are not as well off. I have been thinking about how we could help them without being patronizing, or creating a situation where they would depend on it or feel indebted. They have shared their struggles, but they keep the details very close to the chest. I wouldn't want to meddle, but I do want to help as soon as we have the means! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-77281 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:00:09 +0000 mrsjyw 77281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I take care of my parents' finances. They are still working but work paycheck to paycheck... so I handle bill paying and supplement when they are short. </p> <p>I also took care of some mortgage loan remodification and credit debt consolidation stuff for my aunt and uncle.</p> <p>Most of the adults in my family are first generation and speak little to no english, so I step up and help when I can.</p> <p>ILs are set for retirement and will not need our help. DH has been amazing about understanding my parents situation and has no problem with our arrangement right now. I am fearful of my parents retirement time though :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-77275 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:49:34 +0000 MamaMoose 77275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I'm totally with you on being uncomfortable just giving someone money. For two reasons. First of all, it's more economically sound to live together and provide for one larger household then to try to support two separate households. Also, I think people are more willing to try to find solutions on their own if they would have to make some changes in order to get your help. My parents are certainly not like this but I think sometimes when there is a family member who is a drain on others, they have no motivation to change their situation if others just hand them money to keep on living the life they're accoustomed to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-77218 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 09:36:29 +0000 mrs. wagon 77218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL used to be a SAHM and then got divorced later in life, too, so she has their house in her name but no credit history and had no job. Since then she's trained and become a home care nurse and supports herself, but one day she will retire and then it will be up to us to support her. BIL will probably help as well, but he's in the military and not married yet so not sure how that will go. But we are lucky because she'll sell the house at some point, pay off the balance of the mortgage and give us the rest, and we'll use that to support her, probably by investing it into our income property. </p> <p>As for my parents, I have no idea what will happen. They are well off now but basically gave me and my brother down payments for our condos instead of saving for retirement. My brother is the first born but their relationship has been strained. So who knows. </p> <p>I keep saying I just want to buy one big huge house and have everyone live in it. I know that would probably create more harm than good, but at least we'd have free childcare! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-77144 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 07:46:33 +0000 looch 77144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was in a relationship with the guy before my husband, he basically supported his mother. It was a source of lots of arguments for us because she saw it as her right to be taken care of. She had a lot of health/mental issues, so it wasn't like she could just go and find some employment.</p> <p>Having said that, this was something my husband and I discussed, because partners need to be on the same page about how to care for aging parents. If it comes to either set of our parents needing money, we've agreed that they'll sell their current homes and come live with us. I really feel strangely about giving them money directly, I don't know why, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76872 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 18:59:30 +0000 chopsuey 76872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're a great daughter!! Both sets of parents are financially stable so we don't have to support them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76862 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 18:42:50 +0000 Rescuemom10 76862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Someties we have helped out my MIL and FIL. Then DH's sibling have help sometimes too. Never on my side of the family though. But I would if they needed it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76791 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:25:16 +0000 DillonLion 76791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not currently, but the prospect of this being an extremely possible issue for us in the future makes me really stressed out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76789 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:20:33 +0000 tequiero21 76789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>no, but we've given them money. and i'm thinking of giving them some money when they officially retire, although they need money now. </p> <p>we haven't started giving his parents, but his dad may lose his job in march, so we'll give him what he was earning.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76768 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:51:21 +0000 LuLu Mom 76768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of our parents are secure money wise, if anything my in-laws are always sending us money as a congratulations, a present, surprise, ect. to help us out even though we don't necessarily need it, even though it is appreciated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76764 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:48:30 +0000 leelee 76764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With the downturn of the economy a couple years ago weve been helping my parents with the mortgage and household expenses for a couple years otherwise they would've lost the house my then and that was just not an option for us. We also pay for anything my brothers need for school because I don't want my parents to stress over it. My dad works, but business is not booming as it was 5 years ago. When we were planning our wedding my dad was heartbroken that he couldn't help us pay for the wedding like he had always hoped. The way I see it he worked his butt off for 40+ years to take care of us 4 kids and put us through college, it's the least we could do. I've also had to loan my uncle money for rent before, I honestly didn't want to do it but I knew that if I didn't help him he would go to my dad which would make my dad stress because he can't help his little brother. I'm very lucky DH is on the same page as me with my family finances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76744 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:31:19 +0000 twodoghouse 76744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my parents travel to see us, we try to pay for as much as possible (dinners out, entertainment, etc.) but that's about it. My little sister knows she can come to us for anything, especially now that she's back in school for her Masters, and she has asked for help before. We helped pay down credit card debt that my sister accrued in college as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76688 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:35:52 +0000 Andrea 76688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We help out my MIL from time to time. She really doesn't have a lot saved since she was a SAHM and then they got a divorce. So situations like those make me nervous about ever becoming a SAHM. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76687 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:35:42 +0000 mrsjazz 76687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom, sister, and I help out my younger brothers--but not on a regular basis. One is ill and the other is under-educated and a slight knucklehead--so we've had to pay their bills occasionally--but it's not something that is done on a regular basis. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76683 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:32:58 +0000 Mrs. Bee 76683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>not on a regular basis, but we help out from time to time. i'm happy to do it and want to make a lot more money, specifically so we can help our parents and extended family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76681 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:30:01 +0000 banana 76681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately for us, it'll be an on-going basis (probably for the rest of their lives). As frustrating as it is sometimes, I know that they appreciate it and are very proud of us. But sometimes I can't help but think of all the things i can provide for our family with extra income (including moving from fulltime to partime work). But our parents sacrificed so much for us by immigrating to the States that at the end of the day, I feel like I owe it to them. And the fact that my DH and I were able to still save and buy a house feels so much more to us than if we received any kind of help. That's life i guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76675 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:26:25 +0000 yoursilverlining 76675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Soon we will but hopefully not on an on-going basis. One of my parents cars just died (it was a 1996, so yeah) and they absolutely cannot afford to even buy a used car right now, so in the next few weeks we will be buying them a new (used) car. If anything happens to my dad and he can’t work anymore, we will definitely have to financially support my mother. Its not something I am looking forward to if I’m being honest, but thems the breaks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76673 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:25:27 +0000 yin 76673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know that my parents expect that from their kids (cultural thing). I wanted to start supporting my parents with a small amount every month, but I didn't feel comfortable doing so without my sisters being on board to do the same. I would also feel weird supporting my parents and not my in-laws. To support both parents with just one income and a 10 month old at home just isn't feasible right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76665 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:22:39 +0000 ALittleP 76665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, they give us money! LOL. Actually, both my parents and my DH's mom are helping us with a large down payment on a new home. We'll pay them back once our condo sells but in the meantime we need their help because we don't have that kind of cash at the moment. Otherwise, we are lucky to be financially comfortable and so are our parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76625 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:09:04 +0000 MamaMoose 76625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Nor do we expect to. Both my parents and my in laws have plenty of assets saved up for retirement. My parents will also get a somewhat hefty inheiritance when my grandmother passes, and my in laws also will from my MIL's parents. However, my FIL's parents are the biggest concern. They are very close to running out of money, and my FIL and his brothers help them out. But we don't have to take on any of that burden. If our parents ever did need financial assistance honestly I think I would let them move in with us before I would just give them money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76623 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:08:35 +0000 prettylizy 76623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I can't imagine a place where we support my parents, but I know my mom and dad supported his parents for quite a few years. It was tough on everybody, especially when I got older and was aware, I'd get a cheque from my Grandma on my birthday and want to just sign it back over to my dad knowing that it was really his money in the frist place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76616 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 15:04:13 +0000 heffalump 76616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are still helping us out! You're a great daughter for helping your parents though. I would love to be able to give back if they needed it some day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-provide-monetary-support-to-your-parents-or-any-other-family-members#post-76590 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:49:55 +0000 banana 76590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are retired (so are my husbands) and they don't have much saved for retirement. So we provide monthly monetary support for them. Sometimes it's really hard, especially having a toddler and another baby on the way. And I complain about how unfair it is that we have to support our family when most of my friends do not. We also did not receive any help with our wedding, baby, or down payment for our house. We had to work and save like crazy to make it all work out for us.</p> <p>Do any of you provide monetary support for your family? </p>