Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you put yourself first sometimes?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you put yourself first sometimes? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 03:03:20 +0000 JennyD on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1968532 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 22:39:33 +0000 JennyD 1968532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes. A lot more as she gets older. Lately though it's more about teaching her that she's got to be more patient and less demanding. I give more "push back" for things like carrying the 12 toys that she wants to take in the car. I've also started putting more responsibility on my husband, more regularly. meredithNYC on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1968026 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:14:09 +0000 meredithNYC 1968026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, definitely! It's good for me and also good for LO to learn patience. Anagram on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1968016 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:10:29 +0000 Anagram 1968016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I totally do. A lot. Like, if LO is pooping but I'm in the middle of eating my dinner...I will totally finish my dinner before changing her. I figure 8 more minutes isn't going to kill her. And the same goes for almost everything. Even in the newborn days, I wasn't one of those moms that didn't eat all day long or ever shower. My kitchen/living room are all together, so as long as I can see LO and I know she's fine....if she fusses while I make myself coffee and eat some cereal, I'm fine with it. I think EPing forced me to get used to a certain about of fussing while I couldn't do anything about it. JoyfulKiwi on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967953 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 15:37:41 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1967953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When was younger, an infant, I had a really hard time putting myself first whenever he was demanding something. I would skip pretty much anything if he was crying and held him constantly for a very long time. As he got older and grew out of the small baby phase it was easier for me. I was more comfortable setting him down in a safe space and doing whatever I needed to do first, even if he fussed. He's 2 now and I find it very natural to be able to put myself first. If it isn't a NEED need (injury, hunger, safety, hygiene vs. fussy, cranky, whiney) then I can do it. Although I do "talk" us through it a lot "Oh I know you really want me to hold you, but I have to walk away now because of XYZ reason." Cherrybee on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967949 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 15:34:07 +0000 Cherrybee 1967949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No. I really wish I could but I'm just not built that way. I get terrible anxiety around things not being perfect/finished/complete - mess makes me panicky - and my LO's crying/whining is a real trigger for me. I'm the same at work - I rarely get lunch etc. Its not good. Mae on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967884 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 14:55:49 +0000 Mae 1967884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think I do with DH but not with LO (yet). It stresses me out when LO is unhappy so putting myself first would make me more not less stressed, better to fix whatever LO needs then do what I'm able for myself. But once she is in bed I will admit I sometimes do a bit of "need my space zone time" rather than hang with hub as much as I should because I'm sort of exhausted from all the mommy duty. looch on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967825 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 14:31:39 +0000 looch 1967825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, I do make time to put myself first. I also didn't make it a priority in the first 2 years of my son's life and we all suffered. MrsMccarthy on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967823 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 14:31:11 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1967823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I need to be better about this! I harbor a lot of guilt when I'm not meeting his needs. keepcalmcarrie on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967770 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 14:15:55 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 1967770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes. I was really bad at this for the first year of J's life, and my mom had a little intervention about the importance of not only time for myself, but also helping J learn to wait, entertain himself, etc. Now in the third tri, I'm making me time a big priority. If basic needs are met, I do what I want and he's generally still very happy :) .twist. on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967718 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:56:08 +0000 .twist. 1967718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't do it enough. I tend to find myself going to him at every face twitch. It's a really bad habit that I'm trying to break. Smurfette on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967717 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:55:47 +0000 Smurfette 1967717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yep! I don't see how you can't. travellingbee on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967715 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:54:33 +0000 travellingbee 1967715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh definitely. And I think it is very important for kids to understand that they are not the center of the universe. As a teacher, I will tell you that many many kids come to school expecting to be catered to in every way because their parents always put them first. I love my LO and he is one of the most important aspects of my life, but he is not the ONLY important thing. LuLu Mom on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967713 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:54:12 +0000 LuLu Mom 1967713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, especially pregnant, I have to listen to my body and if that means putting down my clingy toddler who doesn't want to walk, but I know is too heavy to carry (although a fit will happen) then so be it. I will also sneak away and take a bath if I'm having lower back pain (started a few weeks ago) and leave my all of a sudden momma's girl to have some daddy time so I can have some relaxing time. blackbird on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967710 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:53:11 +0000 blackbird 1967710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh certainly. Sometimes i have to, or I will lose my damn mind. Wants are different than needs and demands. She needs a diaper change? That's different than her wanting milk the very second I sit down to pee or finish putting mascara on. Ra on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967695 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:49:59 +0000 Ra 1967695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Of course! I'm his mom, not his servant. I make sure he eats before I do. His sleep needs obviously come first. However, if it isn't an immediate need and I have to do something, I ask him to wait. He's pretty good at keeping himself occupied so that I can shower and get ready. I try to involve him in cooking and cleaning so he isn't constantly bugging me to do something else. Other than that, I tell him that we can do <insert random activity/request> as soon as mommy is finished <keeping myself alive, house from crumbling to the ground, etc>. Bao on "Do you put yourself first sometimes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-put-yourself-first-sometimes#post-1967671 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:40:47 +0000 Bao 1967671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think to be the best mom I can be, I have to put myself first sometimes. When both girls are tired, whiney and clingy but have all their basic needs met and I have yet to brush my teeth or use the bathroom, I will do something for myself before I can tend to their next demand. I need to take a step back for just a minute or two, and when I return from whatever it is I needed to do for myself I am a much better mom! Do you ever have to put yourself first to be a better parent or do you take care of all of your LO's wants/needs/demands before you do anything for yourself? How do you balance making sure you get the needed few minutes for yourself to get things done, but keeping your kids happy too?