https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Jul 2026 00:26:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1963920 Sat, 29 Nov 2014 16:39:45 +0000 Torchwood 1963920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HabesBabe: It was intended as a joke. It was just horribly inappropriate, and it was right after we'd gone through everything. Thankfully their team lead was standing right there, and he told the coworker, "you need to just walk away right now." And I think he took him aside later and talked to him. But it's still really hard on DH because the guy complains about his kids and how he can't wait to get them out of the house, etc ALL the time. And their cubes are right next to each other (no way to move) so it's something he's dealing with a LOT.</p> <p>@SweetiePie: @loveisstrange: @ScarletBegonia: @Synchronicity: I don't know how DH managed not to hit him or go off on him. I've threatened to go in there and have it out a few times. But he's just a majorly socially inept a**hole, so there's really nothing to be done about it. The rest of his coworkers have been great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1963114 Fri, 28 Nov 2014 10:22:19 +0000 HabesBabe 1963114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: maybe it was a person who didn't know what to say in that situation? like the people who say, "at least you have fun trying!" when it has taken awhile to get pregnant. </p> <p>One of our neighbors took their 18 month old for a speech and hearing test because he's not talking yet. When I told DH this (we have a 2 1/2 year old chatter box), he said I should've told them something along the lines of "gift horse." Thankfully that wasn't said, but I feel like guys tend to male jokes like that when people share about kid issues. At least that's what I'm hoping your husband's coworker meant! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962936 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 22:49:15 +0000 twoofeverything 1962936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't regret a thing, but I do wish I could have had my twins as singles. While I've reached the point where it's definitely easier to have two the same age, I know there are things they have missed...and that I have missed...in the twin "fog." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962884 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 21:11:11 +0000 SweetiePie 1962884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: Wow, I think that is the most horrendous thing I've ever heard! I'm sorry your husband had to listen to that and I commend him for not ripping his coworkers face off. </p> <p>I've said above that I regret having kids and if I could go back in time I'd opt to be childless. But I know that's not reality, and if something happened to my son today I'd probably go insane with grief. It's such a strange combination of emotions, being a mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962868 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 20:45:11 +0000 loveisstrange 1962868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: Oh my god. Why would anyone say that?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962867 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 20:45:03 +0000 ScarletBegonia 1962867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: WOW. </p> <p>I have so many colleagues who had negative reactions when I told them I was pregnant. Most of them are 10-20 years older than me so have teenagers or early twenties children who seem to mostly be asshole freeloaders. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962855 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 20:31:07 +0000 Synchronicity 1962855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: he seems like the type of person who shouldn't be allowed to procreate. What an awful thing to say :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962852 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 20:26:52 +0000 Torchwood 1962852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No kids yet so I can't vote, but DH has a coworker who apparently does. He actually had the gall to tell DH that we "dodged a bullet" when we lost R. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962806 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 18:37:18 +0000 MrsKoala 1962806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I can definitely sympathize with what you are saying. It is hard. So hard. And it is not something that anyone can prepare for. I truly believe things will get better for you Ashe gets older and you figure out your life with a baby now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962691 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 14:24:45 +0000 Smurfette 1962691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: at 11 weeks it is 100% normal to feel that way. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962690 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 14:23:19 +0000 Amelieisme 1962690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: You are still very much in the trenches. It gets so much better as they get older! Once they start interacting with you and gain some independence, life improves drastically! I have a 28 mo old and an 8 mo old and I'm just getting over the hump with number 2. Give it some time, girl. There are still hard moments but life continues to get better and better. Hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/4#post-1962665 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 12:39:31 +0000 ShootingStar 1962665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: 11 weeks you're still in survival mode. It's hard when you're not sleeping and you feel like you have no clue what you're doing. For us things got so much better when he started STTN at 7m after sleep training. Oh and when the witching hour stopped that was great too. I don't even remember when it stopped happening, but I know that was one of the things that almost made me lose my mind when I was home on maternity leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962619 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 10:32:24 +0000 BabyTsMom 1962619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sapphiresun: I couldn't have said it better myself. I feel exactly the same way, and also had some difficulty in getting pregnant-the time I finally got pregnant was our last attempt and if it didn't stick, we were going to be child-free.</p> <p>I often wonder if I'd be happier if our alternate plan had played out....and I think it's hard for some people to understand that this doesn't mean we don't love our LOs... at the same time, I think if I had ended up child-free, I would always have longed to know what it was like to have one. Grass is always greener on the other side? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962485 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 01:16:34 +0000 Sapphiresun 1962485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Regret, no, that's not the word for it. </p> <p>However, we had a handful of fertility challenges, and had a plan that if it didn't happen for us with minimal intervention, we'd just move forward child-free and no intention of pursuing IVF or adoption, etc. I never felt that motherhood was such a calling for me that I'd go to extreme lengths to have it.</p> <p>And while I love our LO to death, and am so blessed to have her, I imagine our alternate path and think that, never knowing any different, I could have been happy with that too. </p> <p>As for some people who were talking about getting skewed results since this is a parenting site, for me, despite not always feeling like motherhood is what I was destined to do with my life, I definitely feel an immense responsibility for her and her well-being, and a desire to be objectively "good" at being a mother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962481 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 01:04:42 +0000 Chuckles 1962481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetiepie: hang in there! For me, around 10-12 weeks was the toughest. I'm not sure if it was the lack of sleep finally getting to me, feeling isolated, or just the general difficulty of having a new baby, but somehow that time period was even harder than the first month. It gets so much better once they can interact more and have somewhat predictable naps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962463 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 00:40:19 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1962463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I've had days where I've felt this way too! Especially early on. Babies are HARD. Glad you're being honest here, you're definitely not alone :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962451 Thu, 27 Nov 2014 00:20:40 +0000 anonysquire 1962451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What? No way!!! And I would feel guilty if I regretted it because so many people don't get the chance to have kids. My life is so much more complete with my baby. I was made to be a mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962258 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 21:09:46 +0000 SweetiePie 1962258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: @cait: @yoursilverlining: Thanks so much ladies :heart: I'm hoping I'm still just having a hard time because it's early. I don't doubt that I'll always love my son and be happy he's a part of my life. I just can't say that I'm happier with him than I was without him. Our marriage was definitely better before, and that has been the hardest part. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962173 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 20:14:17 +0000 yoursilverlining 1962173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: oh, you're definitely not the only one who has felt that way! We were very happy and fulfilled being child free, and during the early days I had the same feeling you expressed. Bonding took a long time, and that's ok. It's not a bad thing to feel complete without a child, or to have been 100% happy pre-kids. You're not alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962136 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 19:54:11 +0000 cait 1962136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: No one should think anything awful about you. I hope that things get better for you as your LO gets older and less dependent. But either way, I hope you always feel that you're able to speak about your feelings, I am sure you are not alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962130 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 19:50:01 +0000 Raindrop 1962130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: *big hugs* I think it was brave of you to write that. I hope "things" get better but it sounds like you love your LO and will always do what's best for him and I think that's all that matters. Your words will definitely comfort others struggling with the same thoughts and emotions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962122 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 19:44:11 +0000 cait 1962122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I am wistful about a time before kids sometimes but I think when I day dream about "kid-free life," I'm probably over glamorizing it, just like how I glamorized parenthood before I entered it and realized how demanding it could be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1962093 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 19:29:24 +0000 SweetiePie 1962093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine is only 11 weeks old right now so maybe it'll change. But as of right now I do think that if I could go back I wouldn't have kids. I love my son, I really do. But this is a lot harder than I expected, on me and on my marriage, and I am generally less happy than I was before I had him. I still look at him with awe sometimes and I am tickled pink when he laughs or squeals from excitement. But all in all I don't think my life is better because I am a mom. </p> <p>I'm the minority and some people here will probably think some awful things about me. I'm still posting so that if someone else feels this way they don't feel so alone. But if I could do it all over again knowing what I know now, I would just skip the kids part. I always wanted kids but I never needed one. We had discussed living child free as a possibility. So maybe that should have been a warning sign. We went to great lengths to have him so I feel extreme guilt saying all of this. But I also wonder if our struggles conceiving were Gods way of saying "this isn't for you" and I flat out ignored Him. </p> <p>Having a particularly tough day and just felt like I needed to get this off my chest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1901091 Tue, 14 Oct 2014 18:52:43 +0000 ScarletBegonia 1901091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: fair enough! I think i'm reacting more to things IRL friends say rather than what's on here. I was on the fence for a long time about kids and felt then, and feel now, that my life would have been perfectly full and happy with or without kids. People in my life make comments arguing that, and even with a kid now I still feel the same way. I'm not explaining myself very well but basically even now that I have a kid (and an AWESOME one at that!!) I still don't feel like kids are the be all and end all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1901043 Tue, 14 Oct 2014 18:12:13 +0000 Cherrybee 1901043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: Truthfuly? I don't know. Its no secret that I hated the majority of my (7 month) maternity leave and going back to work was the turning point with regard to my PPD, but of course LO is so much more fun to be around now she's a toddler..... As a working parent (with a challenging job and a 50 mile round commute daily), we only really get the dregs of each other - the morning when I'm tired and grotty or the evening when E's tired and grotty. I think that there are pros and cons to working and staying home - both can be relentless and exhausting! </p> <p>That said, the more I think about this question and my answer, the more I think that there's a real beauty in the kind of love that doesn't enjoy every second but still ploughs on through gladly for the wellbeing of the other person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1899064 Mon, 13 Oct 2014 10:41:43 +0000 jedeve 1899064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't regret it. But I do wish I could take a day or weekend 100% off occasionally. Not just sleeping in or having someone else cook or do diapers. But to have zero responsibilities for a day. Not even having to worry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1898893 Mon, 13 Oct 2014 09:06:14 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1898893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I know it could can change with school! That must be tough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1898724 Mon, 13 Oct 2014 07:25:40 +0000 Boogs 1898724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I've never heard that, but can so relate. LO2 just turned a month old and I'm grumpy and exhausted. I'm especially nuts right now because he has been up for 2.5+ hours. I finally get him asleep and is waking up again now with hiccups. Makes me miss the easy days of one LO far out of this stage. Nights like these test my sanity, that's for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1898677 Mon, 13 Oct 2014 06:18:59 +0000 looch 1898677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Green Grass: Ha, I respectfully disagree! Now that we're in school (my son will be 4 in a few weeks), we are dealing with behaviour issues that have come about as a result of his peers. When my son was a baby, yeah, he might have cried a lot more, but I was able to "control" the environment much more than I can now...granted, I am a stress case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-regret-having-kids/page/3#post-1898643 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 23:14:04 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1898643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I first want to tell all the moms of the babies and infants...just wait a little longer. Baby days are tough and monotonous. I have loved every day more than the last and each stage had gotten easier in most respects because of increased communciation (LO is 2). I always knew I wanted to be a mom and it's sort of exactly what I thought it would be. I waited a long time (married at 30, LO at 32) and I don't regret having LO in any way shape or form. </p>