https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 20:26:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635441 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 23:23:33 +0000 mrbee 2635441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting feedback. I grew up best friends with my twin brother, and didn't have the sort of close non-family friendships that my kids have now. So it's not something I ever thought about until I had kids of my own.</p> <p>I've actually never spoken about any of this to another parent or to my kids. Hopefully it's clear from the over the top way I phrased the original post that I was joking about all this, and that I think it's best that kids marry whomever they want! There were some good points about not mentioning thoughts like these when your kids are older (and can feel pressured), and I'll definitely take those to heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635436 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 22:57:41 +0000 ElbieKay 2635436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: I agree with you. There is someone I grew up with who I think my mom always hoped I would end up with. We were friends during high school and then we got into a sort of awkward disagreement during our senior year. Prior to that my mom LOVED the fact that our families would hang out a lot, and our falling out ended that for her. At one point she told me that she and the other mom could not understand why I couldn't forgive him, which was a complete mischaracterization of what happened. It pissed me off that she was being so self-centered about something that affected me just as much if not more than it did her. Your comments about agency are spot on.</p> <p>I was about to go to college anyway, and to be honest my social life in high school was already awful before this happened. So while it was uncomfortable I just figured I'd wait it out and move on and not look back.</p> <p>My mom is still really good friends with his parents and thinks nothing of giving me casual updates about him, and I always wish she would just drop it. We are not going to be one big happy family. It's been 20 years. We are both married and have kids and do not talk to each other. I would not give him a second thought if my mom didn't keep bringing it up.</p> <p>So, like you, I bristle at those sorts of comments and find them creepy, not funny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635427 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 22:17:52 +0000 808love 2635427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Secretly wondering and hoping about it is definitely different than joking about it with parents and the kids. That's how the topic originally started but I see Bees have legit issues about the joking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635400 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 20:48:41 +0000 littlebug 2635400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: I can understand that. Thanks for explaining! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635386 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 20:22:17 +0000 lady baltimore 2635386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebug: I just chafe at self-serving plans (joking and not) for one's offspring. They are almost always hetero-normative (our girls will be BFFs and your son will marry my daughter!) and they discount the agency and personhood of the children in question. It's not something that I'm going to make a whole huge stink about in the general sense, but I have to shut it down if anyone makes comments like this about my daughter because I really hate it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635258 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 14:49:59 +0000 daniellemybelle 2635258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A good friend and I joke about it but it is 100% joking. I actually would rather not be in-laws with such a good friend - could get dicey! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635232 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 14:01:16 +0000 irene 2635232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really but I guess all the kids we hang out with are boys. There are girls we know but we don't play a lot with them. There are definitely girls I love but I think they are all pretty out of my DS's league (most of them are all half a head taller than him lol) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635123 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 10:44:35 +0000 littlebug 2635123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd love it if my son married my BFF's daughter. But they're 3 and 2 years old. Who knows who they'll be when they're ready to get married? Who knows if D will be gay? Or if she won't want to get married? Or if they'll even know each other. I mean, we joke about it now (meaning my friend and I, not me and the kids), but it's not something I'd ever push on them. They'll marry (or not marry) who they want to - male, female, whoever. </p> <p>@lady baltimore: Just curious, what's gross about it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635091 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 10:09:11 +0000 cascademom 2635091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: I agree. </p> <p>Big nope from me. My liking their friends shouldn't have any bearing on their choice of future spouse. My MIL adores/adored all of my DH's girlfriends and tried to make them like her daughters/hopeful DIL's. It alienated the hell out of my DH and her. I had one phone conversation with my MIL long before we married. My DH was so crestfallen that she got her hooks in me. Since then, like a decade later, I won't have that level of conversation with her because of how it impacts my DH. My MIL has been very open how I'm not her first pick or any pick for DH as a spouse. I've heard it for 12 years now. Yeah, I refuse to behave that way to my kids' future spouses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2635087 Tue, 11 Oct 2016 10:03:19 +0000 Aimed121 2635087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I had a friend who used to constantly 'joke' about this with my LO and her daughter - I used to smile and inwardly cringe. I want my son to have a big life and to me at least that means travel, living in different places, having lots of experiences and meeting lots of people and the value of doing that on one's own terms, by themselves. I would be really disappointed tbh if LO got married young to someone he's known forever - I know that this is based off my personal life experience though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634867 Mon, 10 Oct 2016 14:50:39 +0000 youboots 2634867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I feel like this is disrespectful of DDs future spouse. DH had a friend from when he was really little and she always likes to make mention that their parents wanted them to get married and share intimate details about their friendship. He didn't marry you, STFU. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634841 Mon, 10 Oct 2016 14:14:54 +0000 Ajsmommy 2634841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. But I've had friends say that about DD... like "ohhhh.. DS, this is your future wife".. I'm like excuse me?? DD will choose her own DH someday and I highly doubt it'll be someone we know. But if it is then ok, just weird to say about 2 yo's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634836 Mon, 10 Oct 2016 14:03:49 +0000 caterw 2634836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of my best friends has a son that will be 5 months older than my younger daughter, and I told her DD had dibs on him since it will be hard for my kids to find boys taller than them. They live on the opposite coast though so I don't really see a lifelong romance happening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634702 Mon, 10 Oct 2016 10:29:26 +0000 catomd00 2634702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: yeah, this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634699 Mon, 10 Oct 2016 10:27:43 +0000 snowjewelz 2634699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha, possibly? I mean, we joke about it a lot since there are a few boys around DD's age! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634193 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 15:14:46 +0000 babypugs 2634193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way! I have no desire to bring that kind of potential craziness into my friendships. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634182 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 14:29:29 +0000 Portboston 2634182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally! Our good friends had a little girl ten days after DS was born and we always joke about an arranged marriage! It would be sooooo fun for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634168 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 13:26:40 +0000 LemonJack 2634168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never really thought about it, to be honest. I'm sure there would be positives and negatives, and my fear for the kids would be that they'd feel their relationship wasn't completely their own, as others were so invested in it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634167 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 13:25:54 +0000 Cole 2634167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We joke about this with close friends, mainly though that if they got married they would have the best wedding slide show ever since they literally met the day my daughter was born. She's clearly free to marry whoever she wants and honestly as much as I love my friend I also think she'd be an overbearing mil! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634153 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 12:14:49 +0000 lady baltimore 2634153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I find that kind of joking really gross. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634150 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 12:10:20 +0000 Mama Bird 2634150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would be nice! It might spare them the awfulness of dating random people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634130 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 10:52:18 +0000 Boogs 2634130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally have spouses picked out for my kids haha. Parents can dream! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634128 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 10:47:27 +0000 808love 2634128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Charm54: That is so cool! Did your parents or his ever encourage the relationship? Tell me more!! (Hopes up high)<br /> LO has known her now best friend since around 11 months old! They had the same infant babysitter/home daycare and preschool teachers. I really like the family (DH works with the mom) and their son (two years older)is very sweet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634068 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 04:26:23 +0000 Charm54 2634068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did marry my best friend's brother. Our parents have been really good friends for 25+ years. I've known my ILs since I was 7 and spent my childhood at their house. My BFF is my SIL, both sides spend holidays together, travel together, and everyone gets along so well. It's pretty awesome 😊 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634067 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 03:33:35 +0000 808love 2634067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I love LOs best friend's brother. Not only can we hang out with the family more often but LO can be sisters in law with her best friend!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-secretly-hope-your-kid-will-marry-one-of-your-friends-kids#post-2634064 Sat, 08 Oct 2016 02:44:02 +0000 mrbee 2634064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes we will have one of my friend's kids over and as I watch the kids play, I will think to myself, wow they are so great together. I wonder if they will get married some day? Then we could all hang out and be in-laws/BFFs.</p> <p>Then I start to wonder if our kids' marriage would get in the way of our friendship. Would we have to stop being friends if the kids get divorced? What if our kids have kids of their own, and then our kids perish in a horrible car accident. Which parents will they have chosen to raise the kids: us or our friends? Hmm, maybe it's better if my kids just marry whomever they want!!</p> <p>Seriously though, do you ever wonder/secretly hope that your kids will marry one of your friend's kids? </p>