https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 11 Jun 2026 09:36:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-2376178 Wed, 02 Dec 2015 20:18:40 +0000 Raindrop 2376178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sarah Lund: I totally agree with you... though I didn't understand this part - "If anyone wants to one day apologise for "betraying" you, take it with a pinch of salt", sounds like you have been burned recently. Sorry if that's the case!</p> <p>Mr. Bee I think I'm like your friend, I think I can deal with not talking for a year or maybe 1.5 years but if it's over two years I would just assume that person doesn't care anymore. Though I wonder if she tried to talk to you and you didn't reply back? Because I would at least ping a person before I wrote them off. It does take two to tango. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-2376169 Wed, 02 Dec 2015 20:10:40 +0000 Nutella 2376169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: I agree it depends on the friend, and the type of friendship we had prior. I moved countries and so really got to see the difference between all different types! Many dropped off, some have gotten stronger but the really good friendships just keep on. I do admit I've become a bit more ruthless about who I spend time with now though...when free time is scarce it's only worth seeing the good ones :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-2376166 Wed, 02 Dec 2015 20:05:46 +0000 MaryM 2376166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends on the friend. My best friends have all moved away. But they're my best friends because even distance doesn't matter. If we talk once a day or once a month, it doesn't matter </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-2376120 Wed, 02 Dec 2015 19:01:17 +0000 Sarah Lund 2376120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately I don't. Why bother putting in the effort, if none of them have the decency to even check on how you're doing? I'm kind of going through a "friendship cleanse" right now. I sort the wheat from the chaff. I look for quality. Friends who haven't bothered to even check whether I'm alright, are going to be erased from my life. I can't stand people who waste my time. There's only so much crap ANYONE can deal with. Only bother with the people who bother with you. If anyone wants to one day apologise for "betraying" you, take it with a pinch of salt, because what with the world going down the drain, none of us can afford to let people mess is around. I have to try and keep my sanity. Don't we all? I can't deal with anyone being false, because it will show. I'll end up not talking to them anymore and not trusting whoever I think is using me. I have to really consider who has been a reliable friend over the years. If a csjjjjjjjj </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-411192 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 22:44:30 +0000 mrsjazz 411192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the friend--some of my friendships need to be cultivated regularly to maintain a feeling of closeness, while others, I could not talk to someone for months and we could pick right back up. I love the latter friendships because they are usually the ones without any drama or guilt. This is the way it is with my bff from high school and my bff from college. Those girls are lifelong friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-411190 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 22:39:16 +0000 tororojo 411190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good friends from way back--I still feel close even if we haven't seen each other for years! Had dinner with my high school best friend the other day and it was like nothing had changed. For people I was less close to, it would be a little awkward to get together after a long break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410894 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 15:01:44 +0000 heffalump 410894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the friend. Friends that live far away and have busy lives, yes they're allowed to not talk to me for a long time and we'll still be close. Friends that live close yet still never make time for me.... I'm not as forgiving. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410887 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 14:52:12 +0000 chopsuey 410887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to. Now, not so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410882 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 14:50:06 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 410882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely have a long term view of friendship. I think it's partly because we live so far away from so many friends that it's hard to keep in touch all the time, but it doesn't change my feelings about our friendship. The only friends I feel the need to keep up with are new ones because the relationship is not yet solidified. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410832 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 13:47:16 +0000 Andrea 410832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not for all friends, but for certain friends it doesn't matter how long we go without talking to each other. I guess that means we are true friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410788 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 12:36:25 +0000 Freckles 410788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm, interesting. Yes, there are certain friends with whom i still feel close to, but i think 2 years is a long time to not talk/email/FB/etc. </p> <p>I find that your friend's idea of friendship is a tad immature, one that we all had when we were younger (university, high school), when we had lots of time and no responsibilities. Now that we're older, married, with children, demanding careers it's a little different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410712 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 11:15:33 +0000 .twist. 410712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, I view friendship the same as you, Mr. Bee. I have a few friends that I've known for a really long time that no longer live where I do and we don't get to see each other for long periods of time. Recently, we've all been putting a little more effort into getting together, but usually we go quite a few months (and have gone years) without seeing each other. They are my best friends. </p> <p>I do have a friend (she was actually a bridesmaid in my wedding), who I didn't see for a long while after my wedding, and when I did see her, I realised that our lives were VERY different and our friendship was only ever based on partying and that I didn't really know her well as a person at all. We don't talk any more because I realised she wasn't a healthy friend for me. Sometimes I feel bad about it, but ultimately, I needed to do what was healthy for my life and marriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410706 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 11:11:07 +0000 Meridian 410706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on how close we were, and how much they've changed over the years. I have some childhood friends from when I lived in Ohio from ages 11 - 15, and we wrote letters back and forth for YEARS when I moved. I still feel connected to them and will always have fond feelings for them (and we stay loosely connected via FB). When a group of 5 of them came to my wedding (when I was 27, so 12 years after I moved away), it truly meant the world to me! Only one was still Ohio, so they came from TX, AZ, London and Hong kong! </p> <p>But on the other hand, I don't really keep in touch with anyone from high school. Even my very best friend from HS. She changed a lot in college and then I just felt we couldn't relate anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410705 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 11:10:02 +0000 Cherrybee 410705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a really interesting question. I tend to view friendship in the same way as you, Mr Bee. I have friends who I rarely see from one year to the next but I remain close to and when we do see each other it's like no time has passed at all! On the other hand, I have friends who I spent a fair amount of time with and felt super close to but as soon as the regular contact stopped for whatever reason we drifted apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410704 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 11:09:18 +0000 autumnlove 410704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are a few friends that I feel close to even when I haven't seen them in 5-7 years! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-feel-close-to-friends-if-you-havent-talked-to-them-recently#post-410698 Thu, 22 Nov 2012 11:04:59 +0000 mrbee 410698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have always had a long term view of friendship... when I feel close to someone, I will still feel close to them even if we don't talk for a long time.</p> <p>I was reminded a few years ago that not everyone feels this way a few years ago. I had become close to this one friend when our mutual friend committed suicide. We spoke pretty regularly after that, and definitely became good friends. Over time we didn't talk as much, but I still considered her a good friend and invited her to my wedding.</p> <p>Then a few years later, she got married and didn't invite me. When we spoke a few months before her wedding, she blurted out that we hadn't spoken in a year or two so she had to cut me from her wedding list. That's fine with me and I totally understood it... but it did make me realize that she and I see friendships very differently. </p> <p>I tend to view friendship as a lifelong thing... sometimes you may get busy or drift apart, but when you see each other again it's like no time has passed at all. I will do almost anything for my friends, and vice versa. I consider myself a very loyal friend.</p> <p>She sees friendship as more of a living thing... if you don't prioritize a friendship when you're busy, it means that the friendship isn't worth that much to you. If you don't see or talk to each other for a while, then the friendship has died. </p> <p>Neither approach is better or worse... they're just different. After I got off the phone with her though, I realized that I no longer felt close to her. I stopped making an effort, and we never spoke again.</p> <p>Do you still feel close to friends if you haven't talked to them recently? </p>