Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you still think about your baby that would have been?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you still think about your baby that would have been? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 08 Jun 2026 12:05:10 +0000 mrbee on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2017880 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 23:33:10 +0000 mrbee 2017880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ After the second miscarriage, we had an autopsy done and it indicated that Trisomy 22 was probably the issue. That gave us a lot of closure, and it allowed us to reframe the miscarriage in a totally different way. It was still tough emotionally (especially since we had heard the heartbeat!), but after that I didn't think in terms of the baby that would have been. The autopsy ended up being a huge part of our healing process, which was a big surprise to me. Crystal on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2017871 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 23:24:47 +0000 Crystal 2017871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Not every day any more, but most days. Especially when I see kids around the same age and wonder what would have been. I am so scared that was my miracle baby and we won't get that again. Dandelion on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2017800 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 22:18:15 +0000 Dandelion 2017800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Every day. I still miss her. jaguar on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2017772 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 22:01:00 +0000 jaguar 2017772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ And our first due date is coming up, so I'm not handling that real well - especially with my SIL having a baby the following week. :( StbHisMrs on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2017769 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 21:59:30 +0000 StbHisMrs 2017769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I do think about it every once in a while, but it no longer hurts, my Maddy girl wouldn't be here if it weren't for that. It was a very early MC for me, around 5 or 6 weeks, and it was a surprise pregnancy. That doesn't make it much easier, it was a very hard thing to go through, both physically and emotionally, we had talked about having a baby but not that soon. It's a memory now, that I think of often, I reflect, and realize how different our life would be, and how happy I am with my two girls that I probably would not have if that baby would have made it. I think once you have a baby in your arms that you take home, your feelings will change. You won't forget, but you'll cherish the memory. GoGoSnoGirl on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2017753 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 21:43:51 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2017753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Like some others, the edd of our lost baby is 1 wk away, so it is on my mind a lot lately. I imagine we lost a boy, because both my fertility massage therapist & my husband had very strong feelings it was a boy. We talk about him some & I'm sure I'll never forget, but cannot wait to meet baby girl who is due just 2 days after our anniversary of losing the 1st pregnancy. jaguar on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2017730 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 21:21:38 +0000 jaguar 2017730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Constantly. We lost our son, and knowing he was a boy - well, it makes it even more heartbreaking. We'll never know with our second loss since it was early, but my heart thinks that was a boy too. I think of them every day... more so because I worry that we won't be able to get pregnant again. Mrs. Jacks on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016495 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 09:23:54 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2016495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @ValentineMommy: I think we were due on the same day, if I remember. 1/15? blackbird on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016467 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 09:00:08 +0000 blackbird 2016467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No, not really. It's been maybe 3 years now, and I would go through it a hundred times again to have E, because I can't imagine having anyone else. Ash on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016461 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 08:55:12 +0000 Ash 2016461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Sometimes I think about what would have been (but really, not often)... It's gotten easier as time has passed (and since I've had a lo). Almost 2.5 years have passed since I miscarried but like others have said, I wouldn't have this amazing & funny little 13 month old in my life had it not happened. ValentineMommy on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016416 Fri, 09 Jan 2015 08:08:59 +0000 ValentineMommy 2016416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ All the time. It's been 7 months for me, and while I am pregnant again, it still feels like yesterday. My due date for my loss is coming up next week, which means I would have had that baby by scheduled csection already. I can't stop thinking about it. Not sure I ever will. Hugs. maddyz on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016195 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 22:13:10 +0000 maddyz 2016195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I just had a little cry thinking about this. It surprised me. In my mind it's a girl. Often it's a passing thought of "whoa if things had gone differently I would have a baby now." it's getting easier with time. These holidays where hard because it's a year from my miscarriage. But I am so excited for the little guy who's due in Feb and that's helped. I spent a lot of energy making presents for him for Christmas as a positive thing to focus on. Mrs. Train on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016194 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 22:12:52 +0000 Mrs. Train 2016194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I had a chemical pregnancy when I was younger (20). Back then I was very thankful that I was not going to be an unwed mother with no support from a partner but when I struggled with IF I often wondered what would have come of that pregnancy had it been viable. Although it's not quite the same I also had a birth mother who changed her mind and decided to parent. I often think about that little boy and his life and what it would have been like if that first placement had gone through. I can't imagine life without my kids but I still wonder about what might have been. Torchwood on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016172 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 22:03:03 +0000 Torchwood 2016172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I definitely think about R every day. Though now that I'm pregnant again it's more in terms of comparing this pregnancy to that one. I think I would give more thought to my m/c's if I hadn't had a late loss that just totally overshadowed them. I thought about them a lot before that. But my first due date is next week, and that baby would have been 1, plus I'm 9.5 weeks now, which is when I lost that one, so it's definitely on my mind a lot right now. I did used to take comfort in the "we couldn't have this baby if we'd had the ones that miscarried," but now we actually could have. But not R, if she had gone to term and lived I would only have been a couple months postpartum when this one was conceived, so I suppose I can go back to that at least with her loss. matador84 on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016164 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 22:00:21 +0000 matador84 2016164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's been almost 3 years on 1/21 and every day I still wonder what it would have been like. I don't dwell on it, just wonder. ShootingStar on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016147 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:55:22 +0000 ShootingStar 2016147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't think about it very much any more. In the beginning it was much harder. But 4 months after I had a very very early miscarriage I got pregnant with my son. He's over a year old and that first pregnancy feels more like a dream. I'm sorry the other baby didn't get to grow up and have a lifetime, but I'm not sorry I have my son, if that makes sense. We never found out the sex because it was a CP, but I find myself thinking of that baby as a girl. Maybe it's mothers intuition, or may I need to mentally differentiate that pregnancy from my son. Mrs. Jacks on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016141 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:53:50 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2016141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My due date is 1/15, so I'm thinking about it a lot right now. singingbee on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016139 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:52:41 +0000 singingbee 2016139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Every day. simplyfelicity on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016109 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:34:58 +0000 simplyfelicity 2016109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I do, but I hope and pray those pregnancies didn't work out because this one is supposed to. I just passed my first "lost" due date and my second is in March. I think my first was a girl and the second was a boy. lilteacherbee on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016094 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:25:10 +0000 lilteacherbee 2016094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes. We had genetic testing done, so we know ours was a girl which I think made it both easier and more difficult to deal with. She would be 2 next month, so I do wonder what she'd be doing right now. But like @MOMTOLITTLEB:, if I hadn't lost that pregnancy, I wouldn't have my son and that makes it a lot easier. I hope you get your take-home baby soon because I think it will ease the pain a bit :heart: hugs! catlady on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016091 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:24:57 +0000 catlady 2016091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have pretty much the same feelings as @MOMTOLITTLEB, except I'm almost certain it was a boy that I lost, and the LO I have is a girl. I do still think about that baby every so often but not with pain, more just a thought about how life would have been different with a different child. When I remember that baby, I think it helps me to really appreciate having LO, even when parenting becomes challenging. Anya on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016087 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:23:46 +0000 Anya 2016087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ All the time. @MOMTOLITTLEB: I didn't have a strong feeling either way with my current pregnancy either (girl), but I have a distinct intuition that the pregnancy I lost was a boy. MOMTOLITTLEB on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2016075 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:19:46 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2016075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's been a couple of years for me although it doesn't feel like that long. Once in awhile I do think about it and for some reason I've always had a feeling it was a girl even though I never had a feeling either way with my son. But now I am completely at peace with it because I have my son and it feels right that he is here and we wouldn't have him if we hadn't lost the first pregnancy. Mrs. Pickle on "Do you still think about your baby that would have been?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-still-think-about-your-baby-that-would-have-been#post-2015165 Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:15:00 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2015165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's been 7 months since my loss and I still think about it weekly. I wonder if it would have been a boy or a girl, if my pregnancy would have been hard or easy, and what I would be feeling right now if I were still pregnant. Do you still think about the baby you lost? Do you think you'll ever not think about it?