Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you talk about who should die first?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you talk about who should die first? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 01:29:56 +0000 LuLu Mom on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560310 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 15:31:32 +0000 LuLu Mom 1560310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ffor selfish reason I want to go first, however he's 7 years older + the men in his family don't live long so most likely he will go first. All I can pray is we both live into our old ages and get to see our great grandchildren. I just lost mine at age 29 and I was so blessed to have my GeeGee in my life for so long, and for my daughter to meet her. snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560295 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 15:26:18 +0000 snowjewelz 1560295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @dagret: Dude... DH is always saying that he hopes he doesn't get Alzheimers because he doesn't want to forget me :sad: Ahh it's too sad californiadreams on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560275 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 15:22:47 +0000 californiadreams 1560275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ i've told DH that we will die together like in the Notebook. He didn't object. dagret on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560274 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 15:22:28 +0000 dagret 1560274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I just hope i die before I get Alzheimer's. But DH is 2 years younger than me so I joke all the time that we'll die at the same time. Mrs. Pickle on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560243 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 15:13:25 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1560243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH says he is going to die first. He is older than me so that is realistic. It won't be for a really long time though! chopsuey on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560208 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 15:07:39 +0000 chopsuey 1560208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We decided that i have to die first. I have a harder time dealing with loss. mrsrain on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560169 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:56:58 +0000 mrsrain 1560169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @snowjewelz: yes, preferably while holding hands. That's not too much to ask... right? Boogs on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560160 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:53:23 +0000 Boogs 1560160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I told him the only thing I will agree to is dying together when we're really old. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it! :silly: snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560152 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:51:58 +0000 snowjewelz 1560152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Torchwood: Seriously! I don't know what I would do if I have to die first :crying: snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560150 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:51:08 +0000 snowjewelz 1560150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrsrain: While holding hands :heart: Torchwood on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560147 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:50:48 +0000 Torchwood 1560147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I tell DH fairly frequently that I'll be very mad at him if he dies first. Usually when I've heard about someone losing a spouse or it happens on tv or something. Emotionally he's just more resilient and I think he'd handle it better. I'd just fall apart. He generally agrees, so while he doesn't want me to die, he's okay with me going first so he doesn't worry about how I'll handle it afterwards. Now if only we actually had some control over that... mrsrain on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560139 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:49:25 +0000 mrsrain 1560139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH is under strict instructions to let me die first. But really, there is no good answer. I don't want to live without him, and I don't want him to have to live without me. :crying: Maybe we will manage to die in our sleep together in about 50 or 60 years... :heart: Mrs. Bee on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560126 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:45:57 +0000 Mrs. Bee 1560126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @snowjewelz: Longevity is definitely genetic! snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560110 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:42:42 +0000 snowjewelz 1560110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Bee: It's interesting b/c I never compared the longevity between mine and his families and used it as a factor! Mrs. Bee on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560107 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:41:51 +0000 Mrs. Bee 1560107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We've talked about it. I think I'll die first. Longevity doesn't run in my family while it does run in his. Also I have a lot more mental health problems! Mae on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560102 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:40:23 +0000 Mae 1560102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We don't seriously talk about it, but I've sort of joked about it before. I told him (before we'd decided to have kids) that he had to give me kids because guys always die first and I don't want to be lonely in my elderly years. He told me that by the time he dies there will be robot companions that will be fabulous company and I worry too much lol. I don't want to think about the topic seriously, I don't want to live without him but I don't want him to live without me either. But I also wouldn't want our kids to deal with the loss of both of us at once. There is no good answer so I'm going to bury my head in the sand about this inevitability. snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560094 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:39:20 +0000 snowjewelz 1560094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @wonderstruck: Aww sorry to make you cry!! It is a very morbid post :sad: snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560092 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:39:00 +0000 snowjewelz 1560092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MediaNaranja: Yeah... When DH lost his first wife (this is of course from his recounting... I didn't know him then), she was the one that took care of that stuff too so he didn't really know what to do and thing were messy. Now, I'm the one that takes care of the finances too, and I feel like even if I was heartbroken, I'd still want to straighten out all these things wonderstruck on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560088 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:38:09 +0000 wonderstruck 1560088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Um, I cry even thinking about this. So no, we haven't really talked about it. MediaNaranja on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560079 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:36:20 +0000 MediaNaranja 1560079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ He should probably go first, as terrible as that sounds. I just feel like I am better equipped to deal with grief and all that jazz, and I'm the more knowledgeable one when it comes to dealing with assets, making plans, etc. I'm afraid things would just turn into a giant mess were I to go first. hellocupcake on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560055 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:31:29 +0000 hellocupcake 1560055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MrsTiz: +1 I think I could handle things (raising our kids and funeral arrangements as well as final testing place...blah, blah) better than him but I don't care. I want to go first. snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560035 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:27:37 +0000 snowjewelz 1560035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @derevival: Never thought I'd meet another bee w/ similar circumstance! Yeah, knowing what he had gone through I would never ever want that for him a second time :sad: derevival on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1560021 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:23:45 +0000 derevival 1560021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @snowjewelz: My husband's first wife also died. He probably will die first. We do talk about it a lot (or at least I bring it up). Either way, we'd both be really sad. I think for the same reasons you mentioned above, I'd prefer he die first, so he doesn't have to suffer for a second time. MrsKoala on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1559971 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:12:02 +0000 MrsKoala 1559971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would like to die first. DH hates that I say that. MaryM on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1559946 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:07:51 +0000 MaryM 1559946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Granted, I think we are so open about talking about death since we lost our fathers within 18 months of each other right before we got engaged. So a lot of our decision making at that time was definitely influenced by a strong desire to not want to die alone (not that either of us were settling...but we'd dated for 8 years. It was about damn time!). cmomma17 on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1559939 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:06:01 +0000 cmomma17 1559939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I told my DH he's not allowed to die. Ever. snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1559936 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:05:35 +0000 snowjewelz 1559936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MaryM: That was def a factor in us deciding to have more kids; so there will be more family around in case one of us die earlier! MrsTiz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1559935 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:05:00 +0000 MrsTiz 1559935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MaryM: goodness! I selfishly hope I go first. I don't want to deal with him being gone, LO missing him, dealing with the assets, grief, etc. Nope nope nope. snowjewelz on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1559931 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:04:31 +0000 snowjewelz 1559931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mamaof2: Me too. I think grand kids are not a far stretch, but not too many can wait for great grand kids! MaryM on "Do you talk about who should die first?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-about-who-should-die-first#post-1559920 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:03:11 +0000 MaryM 1559920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Part of the reason I want kids is because men in DH's family haven't had the longest lives and I don't want to be left alone. How morbid is that?? But his father lived 10 years longer than his grandfather, so we're counting on DH making it into his 60s.