https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 12:12:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1175770 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 07:29:21 +0000 Kimberlybee 1175770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Most of our friends knew we were having issues but I didn't really like to go into details about it. I didn't like to talk about it because I didn't want to sound like I was throwing a pity party or releasing any negative energy. Even though I felt lots of sorrow or sadness inside, I felt better putting my best cafe forward. Many days I would forget about my predicament with happy thoughts. I did reach out to internet blogs and TTC sites. Somehow talking about it with people that are going through the same struggles felt a lot better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1175755 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 07:08:37 +0000 loveletter 1175755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were really open about our infertility. Our families and most of our friends knew - and if anyone ever asked when we were going to have kids, we told them about our struggles. It actually really helped to have people know - our friends were super sensitive and thoughtful about how they told us they were pregnant and understood why it would be hard for me to attend their baby showers, we didn't get asked insensitive questions from our family about when we were going to have kids, and we just felt really loved and supported. Also, so many people came out of the woodwork sharing their stories of how they struggled to have kids. I had no idea so many people I knew dealt with infertility (including two of my aunts). It ended up really being a blessing to have so many people knowing about what we were going through and supporting us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1153005 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 12:53:43 +0000 Caly 1153005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since our IF spanned over 4.5 years, eventually, most of our friends ended up knowing we were having issues. In the beginning, only very close friends/family knew but as the years went by, people were asking when we were going to start a family and depending on who was asking &amp; the situation I'd either say "eventually" or "we're working on it, it isn't as easy as we thought it'd be." As time went on I became more open about it since it was hard to hide and I also felt that it's such a common yet hush hush topic and since I felt comfortable, I'd talk about it. If my experience could help, encourage or just allow someone to vent to someone who's been there, then I'm glad something positive can come of it.<br /> Now that we're expecting in the next couple weeks, the most common question people have when they hear it's twins is if they run in the family. I say "nope, they're IVF babies" with a smile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1152602 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 10:10:09 +0000 ineebee 1152602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm open about telling people that we've been trying for a while, but only family and a couple of close friends know about the higher level details about the IF and treatments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151684 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 18:35:01 +0000 KT326 1151684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an open book about it. But I think my situation might be a little different because I have always known that I would need fertility treatments to get pregnant. There was no TTC for us, we had to go straight to the RE. What I didn't expect was that it would take almost 2 years (with a short break in between to switch RE's) to actually get pregnant. But I had a really great support system with my family and friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151632 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 18:11:35 +0000 mrs bunchy 1151632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have talked about it to a select few at work.. They knew from the start due to my m/c that took me out of work for a little. I just recently spilled everything to my sister. Otherwise, just family.. Some know more details than others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151624 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 18:07:03 +0000 TheReelDeal 1151624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't talk to anyone about like. Like mrstal, I do feel a little shame that I can't get pregnant and I feel even worse when I think about my miscarriage. </p> <p>I do write in my journal almost every night and really complain there in a way I don't think I could do IRL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151384 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 15:16:55 +0000 MrsTal 1151384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't want to tell anyone at first because I thought it could still happen, but then I realized I felt a bit ashamed that I couldn't get pregnant. I finally started to tell people and it feels good, many people share their own struggles which helps. And most people are very supportive and understanding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151231 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 14:01:43 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1151231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH and I are both open about our struggles. We talk about to IVF to whoever is interested. Everyone in our lives are super supportive. I love knowing that I have their good thoughts and prayers. </p> <p>After we opened up about our struggles a lot of our friends opened up about theirs. It made me realize just how common IF is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151201 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 13:52:03 +0000 LovelyPlum 1151201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: so glad I could help :) He's a character, my dad is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151178 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 13:45:26 +0000 LindsayInNY 1151178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleredhairedgrl: We just had our 3 year wedding anniversary, I turn 30 in a couple weeks and DH turns 34 in a couple weeks too. People are bound to start wondering about us... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151140 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 13:32:40 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 1151140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindsayinny I worry too about people talking about us behind our backs too (grr!) -- my mother in law in particular! lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151078 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 13:18:32 +0000 LindsayInNY 1151078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're vaguely open. Some people know we're trying to start a family but I don't walk around announcing how long we've been trying at this point. DH's parents know we're TTC but my family is basically clueless. I don't know what will happen around the holidays and DH's extended family. I think one of the reasons I'm a bit more open is because I don't want people whispering behind our/my back about when we're going to start a family... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151055 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 13:13:29 +0000 blackbird 1151055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this. My IRL friends all know about my issues. They are all WONDERFUL. So sympathetic and understanding. Family? not so much. I don't tell them shit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1151007 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:55:03 +0000 bhbee 1151007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: too much . . . that was my much-needed funny for the day :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150975 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:45:09 +0000 Mrs. Polish 1150975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I basically tell the whole world. I was quiet the first year, and then slowly started to tell everyone. I'm not good at keeping things to myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150964 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:42:17 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 1150964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>at first i only told my father and two best friends, but after a year of ttc people stop asking and checking in -- that's been the hardest for me. and now one of them is pregnant and has not asked me how things were going in almost 8 months.. i eventually found that my cousin went thru something similar and she's been a great support for me. but if i had to do it again i think i'd keep quiet and only talk to family.</p> <p>my bosses know somewhat (two very macho men) only because i have been taking so much time away from the office. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150868 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:12:02 +0000 LovelyPlum 1150868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: more than with the losses, it's been very interesting having my dad know that this has been a complicated pregnancy. He knows I ended up in the hospital, and naturally asked why (for spotting). He keeps asking me questions, the answers to which I am sure that he really doesn't want the answer to, because it usually involves my cervix, and it leads to some hilariously awkward conversations. For example, about 6 weeks ago, we were talking on the phone and he said, "oh, by the way, I was talking to someone at work, and they were telling me that their wife spotted through her entire pregnancy, and she and the baby were both fine." I mean, it was super sweet that he was trying to reassure me. But tell me, please, how my cervix came up in conversation with one of your colleagues?! I immediately hung up the phone with him and called my mother, who promptly fell on the floor laughing. Chalk that up to a conversation I never thought I'd have with my father. I can't even be mad, because it's sweet. He means well, but honestly. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150859 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:06:47 +0000 ShootingStar 1150859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was struggling to get pregnant a few of my friends knew, and my parents knew. My friends didn't really get it though, since either they were single/childless, or had gotten PG without a huge amount of issues. </p> <p>I had a CP last November, which parents knew about. I'm pretty close to my mom and we were at their house and needing to go out to get betas, so we told them I was pregnant but there was a chance I'd lose it since my first beta was really low (5). After it was confirmed that I'd lost it (day after Thanksgiving) I thought they understood what happened, even though I never came right out and said it. My mom was there when I got the phone call and I kind of shook my head at her and ran out of the room crying. Apparently that wasn't clear enough because a few weeks later I was kind of having a breakdown over the phone to her, talking about losing both a job (laid off in October) and a baby. My mom was all surprised and said she thought I had never actually been pregnant, not that I'd had a miscarriage :-/. I'm still glad I told them, as I don't like hiding things like that and it would've been difficult at their house. </p> <p>But really, no one gets it except for people who have been there. They don't understand the lows of trying and RE's and medication, and they don't understand the highs of success either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150855 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:05:56 +0000 BSB 1150855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have online friends that know about my IF.</p> <p>As for IRL, my two sisters know. My mom knows but I think it's through my sisters that she knows. They all know that we've been trying for a while. Both sisters and my mom has been sensitive to IF.</p> <p>My brother knows we are trying for a long time but I don't know if he understands that it's IF. Some of the things I hear, I can tell they don't understand it. My brother and SIL did get pregnant very easily and unplanned for both of their children.</p> <p>I did 'come out' on Facebook for IF awareness week and was overjoyed in the amount of support I got. Nowadays, I don't bring up IF everyday or every week in conversation. Last month, I did comment on my friend's FB status about a radio commercial she heard on guaranteeing a baby. She thought it was odd. I came out and told her that fertility treatments are expensive and I would love to have some sort of guarantee.</p> <p>I recently created an IF inspiration board on Pinterest and I post on that here and there. I got a few comments of support which made me feel loved and not forgotten.</p> <p>I guess I don't want to talk about IF all the time. Just when I'm feeling down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150849 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:03:30 +0000 bhbee 1150849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: thanks for your thoughts. one reason I don't tell my mom is that they got pregnant the first try for both kids . . . I think it's hard to get it when you never even had a BFN! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150843 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:01:32 +0000 pui 1150843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far, I haven't with DH's side... however, I may have just recently been inadvertently "outed" at our Thanksgiving family gathering on Sunday.</p> <p>I have discussed it with my parents and my dad especially just doesn't get it. He keeps telling me how easy it was for him and my mom to get pregnant.</p> <p>I'm sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150842 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:01:30 +0000 bhbee 1150842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Someone: ok that one cracks me up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150836 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 11:59:24 +0000 bhbee 1150836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shutterbug: I think it definitely hurt my mom's feelings when I told her we finally had what looked like a sticky baby, and she found out I had two chemicals and did all the RE stuff without telling her anything. but I did what was best for me and felt no regrets.<br /> I also think I might tell her if we did IVF though, so I totally get your thought process. wishing you good things this winter!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150832 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 11:57:47 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1150832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss.</p> <p>I'm selective when talking about IF issues. Of course I talk to my husband, and on occasion to my mom and sister. They're both good at lending an ear but neither of them have been through IF. I also have two friends that I can openly talk about it, and they give lots of support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150826 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 11:53:03 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1150826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TheSwissWifeStyle: YES! WTF crack heads?</p> <p>My mom told me that when they were trying for my brother, her doctor told her that tighty whities are bad for men, so she awkwardly suggested DH switching if he wore them. After I'd been pregnant twice already... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150820 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 11:51:13 +0000 TheSwissWifeStyle 1150820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Someone: Yeah...my mom just now last week brought up soy for the first time. (I'm a vegetarian/mostly vegan) she said she read somewhere that there was a link between "too much soy" and fertility problems. </p> <p>After rolling my eyes here, I mean because really, does she think there's anything out there that I haven't read at this point? I just told her I only eat soy 1-2 times a week. </p> <p>And I mean come on, if crack-heads can have kids, wtf. Ya know!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150816 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 11:50:05 +0000 Alivoo01 1150816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tell my BFF everything so her. I'm pretty mum about it with everybody else until they ask at a much later time and I'm ready to share and discuss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150793 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 11:46:05 +0000 Shutterbug 1150793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far I've only told my BFF, and although I appreciate that she's been supportive and always checks in on how I'm doing and where I am in my treatment cycle, sometimes I wish even she didn't know. I told her when we had been trying for only a couple months and I had no idea we'd still be trying a year and a half later. </p> <p>I think maybe I'll tell my mom when we move on to IVF this winter, mainly because I don't feel right about having surgery without her knowing. I think it would break her heart (when she found out later) that I felt I couldn't tell her about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-talk-to-familyfriends-about-infertility-issues#post-1150788 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 11:44:53 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1150788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TheSwissWifeStyle: My parents like to ask a ton of questions too, but mostly about the health issues that supposedly have caused everything. When I first told them, they said they had been Googling and got all scared. I told them not to do that, and provided a few "approved" links :) Luckily they haven't asked too much lately. </p>