https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 03:03:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor/page/2#post-1765383 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:54:01 +0000 X0X0X0 1765383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>exactly what @Radish said. I decided to have 2 under two because of the experience my sister had with her 3 kids. 1st and 2nd kids have a 3 year age gap, so she was able to take them out for similar activities. Age gap between 2nd and 3rd child was is 5 years and she has a hard time finding activities that they all want to participate in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor/page/2#post-1765323 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:27:38 +0000 Glitter 1765323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is a major factor, but definitely not the most important, and that factor becomes more or less significant as they go through various stages in life.</p> <p>My older brother and sister are 13 months apart. As kids my sister and I were closer, simply because we're both girls, though we are 4 years apart. During high school my older brother and sister shared similar friends and were really close, but when they started serious dating relationships they always disagreed on each others' choices and spent months/years being distant. Now that they are adults there are seasons of closeness, but I think meshing of personalities (despite the age gap) plays the most important factor in determining what sibling relationships would be like throughout the years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor/page/2#post-1765300 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:18:47 +0000 Raindrop 1765300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with a lot of other PPs that I don't think age gap is that big of a deal it's more about personality.</p> <p>My only sibling (bro) is 3.5 years older than me and we have never gotten along. Our personalities are just too different. We will definitely be there for each other if needed but we definitely don't hang out or anything.</p> <p>DH is 2 years older and 4 years older than both his brothers respectfully and all 3 of them aren't best friends. Again they will be there for each other if needed but other than that we don't hang out or anything.</p> <p>I know a lot of my friends with siblings less than 2 years apart don't get along with their siblings. Also a lot of them that ARE close to their siblings that are close in age too.</p> <p>Then there is my guy friend that is 7 years older than his sister, he use to walk her to school holding her hand when he was high school and she was in elementary school, there is a cute picture he showed me once. They are very close, in fact when she just graduated college and he bought a house on his own, she lives there with him because it's cheaper than an apartment and she helps with the mortgage, they did that for 3 years before she moved out to live with her fiancee.</p> <p>I sort of feel like it's pure luck how well they will get along. Sometimes it's not up to you and you can't influence it at all, it just happens. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor/page/2#post-1765270 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:04:55 +0000 rachiecakes 1765270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I'm 2.5 years from my brother and though I love him now, we were NOT friends growing up.<br /> My best friend and her sister are 9 years apart and she loved her little sis from day 1, baby sat her, took her to her first concert, helped her get her first apartment - they have a great relationship and are very close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1765230 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 14:44:25 +0000 Mommy Finger 1765230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it helps to be closer in age when you're younger since you're experiencing the same things around the same time. However, I don't think it really matters at all once you are "grown up". I'm the 3rd of 4 and there are 9 years between the oldest and the youngest. We are all incredibly close now, even though we weren't always so growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1765136 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 14:12:23 +0000 Anagram 1765136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess it depends---but I am most similar and closest to my closest-in-age sibling. I am one of 6 kids and basically the further in age from me a sibling is, the further we are emotionally. My oldest two siblings I don't even talk on the phone with--we just hear about each other through our mom. Not because we dislike each other or have drama, but just because we don't have a close relationship. They are more like young aunts/uncles I see once a year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1765114 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 14:04:59 +0000 MrsScallop 1765114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it can play a role, but that is mainly from my experience with my sister who is 18 months younger versus DHs siblings who are 7 years younger. I am very close to my sister while DH has more of a parental relationship with his siblings and is not close to them at all. There are definitely a lot of other things that will affect how siblings get along, but I really believe age can be a factor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764732 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 11:54:22 +0000 namaste 1764732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really think it's a factor however, my SIL and DH are 16 years apart and they aren't nearly as close as my sister and I (we're only 3 years apart). They can go months without talking/seeing each other and they really have no common interests. I think when you're talking that big of a gap, yes but other than that, I don't think it's a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764592 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 11:13:26 +0000 googly-eyes 1764592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think it is a factor, but not the only one or even the most important one. I think the family dynamic and personalities have more to do with it, but having similar experiences at roughly the same time helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764584 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 11:11:06 +0000 hilsy85 1764584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's definitely a large factor, but not the only one and not the most important one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764569 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 11:02:47 +0000 Greentea 1764569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I think the way that parents treat each child and treat each in relation to one another is the most determining factor. That's just been my experience. (If one is favored, if comparison and competition and rivalry are encouraged...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764527 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:49:58 +0000 renee 1764527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think being close in age can help them be closer. I have a twin brother and since we grew up together and went through everything together, we're pretty close. I have 4 other siblings, but they are all half siblings and 6-17 years old than me, and I'm not super close with them. Out of my half siblings, I'm closest to my sister who is 8 years older than me, and my brother who is 17 years older than me, but we're not that close. I think this had more to do with not growing up in the same house rather than an age thing though.</p> <p>I think my DH and I are going to try to space our kids about 2 years apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764511 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:46:33 +0000 JennyD 1764511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I disagree. Age gap can contribute to more difficulty establishing a relationship, but I think it depends more on personality.</p> <p>I have a half-brother who is 10 years older than me. He grew up with his mom and step-dad, while I grew up with my mom and our dad. I always idolized him and in HS wanted to spend more time with him. I told him this, and he always made his best effort to spend time with me when he could, which wasn't often, considering he was newly married and working, and I was a teenage girl. We also had very little in common, with respect to lives and interests. But he included me where he could, and I appreciated his efforts. Today we are "closer" with respect to relationship, with each other than with any of our other siblings. I'm closer in age with our other siblings, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764417 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:21:51 +0000 looch 1764417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like relationships have to happen organically. I understand why people worry about it, but there are so many factors you can't control. Just do what works for your family and everything will work out how it is supposed to.</p> <p>My dad is 17, 16, and 14 years younger than his siblings, he was super close to all of them. I guess that's why I don't subscribe to any "rules" around sibling age gaps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764408 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:19:40 +0000 Aimed 1764408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, my sister and brother are 12 and 8 years older than me respectively and we are super close, even though we live on different continents!<br /> That said, we became close as adults rather than as kids as they weren't kids when I was.<br /> I think that kids are independent individuals an they will get along or they won't, just like adults and there is no predictor of it. And I really don't believe that a 2 year gap as opposed to a 4 year gap makes a difference - we all have friends that are 2 or 4 years in age difference.<br /> IMO, it's a crapshoot and for us, we are going with spacing that works for us, finances, feeling ready etc. rather than the personalities of little people we can't control! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764381 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:12:32 +0000 heartonastring 1764381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all. I think it has way more to do with personality.</p> <p>My husband's sisters are 16, 10 and 7 years older than him, but all four of them are still close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764369 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:09:24 +0000 coopsmama 1764369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not as a rule, no! Personality plays the biggest role, in my opinion. Of course, being close in age generally means children will be around each other more, enrolled in similar activities, and be going through similar stages that make play more conducive but that doesn't guarantee a close relationship! My mom has 5 siblings and she is, without question, closest to her youngest sister - they are ten years apart! They call each other all the time, write letters, go on girl's weekends together, etc. My mom has siblings much close in age but their relationships are not nearly that close! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764353 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:05:39 +0000 MrsTiz 1764353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: <i> "I think if kids are far apart in age it's hard for them to become close. But I don't think having them close together guarantees anything"</i> I agree very much so!</p> <p>My thoughts on it are that if you have kids 8/10 years apart from each other there will be a lot smaller chance of them being friends because they'll most likely take on a helper/mother-child type roll. A 10 year old and a 20 year old won't have much in common until they're 50 and 60 years old!</p> <p>On the other hand, having kids 18 months apart doesn't mean they will get along either. From the siblings I know I see more sibling rivalry in closely aged kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764333 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:00:20 +0000 artsyfartsy 1764333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My older sister is only 25 months older and we were like twins and super close. My younger sister is 7 years younger and we aren't as close. My older sister and I went through all our life stages together or close together. My younger sister and I are in totally different times in our lives and always have been. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764326 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:58:02 +0000 TheReelDeal 1764326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no. My sister and I are 10 years apart. When I was younger she was away at college, and we didn't have anything in common, I was just her baby sister, she changed my diapers :silly: . However, as I got older and was experiencing more of life, we grew to be very close. She's my best friend now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764325 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:57:57 +0000 Alivoo01 1764325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really. My brother and I are 4 years apart and we're not close at all (sadly). Meanwhile, my cousin who is 12 years younger than I am are hella close! Even though I moved away for college and my career when he was still young, we're still super close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764310 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:54:51 +0000 loki 1764310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think it's 100% personality related. i know so many siblings of varying age gaps and varying closeless... so you could make an argument anyway really. my brother is just a bit over 2 years older than me and we are not close at all. we literally barely speak unless i go to my parents house and he's there. we weren't close as kids and we will never be close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764282 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:48:39 +0000 snowjewelz 1764282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A little but not much! My sister and I are 7 years apart, and while yeah, we're in different life stages and probably aren't as close as we could be, I won't change a thing! </p> <p>It would largely depend on how I feel physically to see when I'm up for being pregnant again, where we are financially, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764274 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:46:42 +0000 MrsKoala 1764274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do. This is hotly contested between DH and I. I feel like a closer age gap is a strong predictor in terms of fostering a close relationship. DH does not. I'd personally like my kids to be 2 years apart. He doesn't think we should start trying for #2 until #1 is in pre-school. It makes me sad because I worry that they won't be as close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764272 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:45:58 +0000 pinkcupcake 1764272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all.</p> <p>My brother and I are 4 years apart, and we're pretty close. We weren't super close growing up, but we've gotten much closer as we got older. </p> <p>We have a much better/stronger relationship than some siblings who are only a year or so apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764264 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:44:28 +0000 jmarionsmith 1764264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>not at all. my brother and i are 13 months apart and not close at all. it's not that we are completely different people (we totally are, though) it has more to do with him being an ahole. my sister is 3 years younger than me and we are not very similar, personality wise, but are still very close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764245 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:40:56 +0000 Adira 1764245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Radish: Yes, this!</p> <p>The age gap was very important to us, partly because it's what we're familiar with. Hubs and his sister are 14 months apart, and my brother and I are 16 months apart. While we all fought like cat and dogs growing up, we also did everything together and are very close now. I want to give that opportunity to my children. </p> <p>But not JUST that. I think it will be easier to do things having kids close in age, especially as working parents. If they are both in the same schools most of the time, that just makes our lives easier. If they are both interested in similar things at the same time, that helps. I think it would be hard to juggle the different interests with larger age gaps. Like going to an amusement park and one kid is old enough and wants to ride the roller coasters and the other one isn't. I think it might be harder to find the balance between entertaining them both if their age gap is too large. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764244 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:40:54 +0000 LulaBee 1764244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, my sister is 6 years younger than me and we are NOT close (I'm actually mad at her right now). It makes me sad, and I don't want that for my kids. We want them close together but I don't think that age gap will have anything to do with their getting along or not. If my sister and I were only 18 months apart it would be the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764220 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:36:12 +0000 sandy 1764220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope I think it's definitely personality driven. Maybe if they are close in age you will guarantee they are interested in similar toys and activities as young kids but not necessarily that they'll be close once they get older. My mom is one of 8 kids and closest to her youngest sister. My brother and I are 1.5 years apart and not that close bc we have very different personalities </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-the-age-gap-plays-the-most-important-factor#post-1764179 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:26:00 +0000 petunia354 1764179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't buy into the theory that having kids close in age will translate into them being close. My sister is 10 years older than me and we are BFF's. My brother and I are 6 years apart and we are pretty close too! I think the age gaps between us have helped our relationship since there was no rivalry or competition between us. </p> <p>We plan to have at least 2.5 years between LO's, most likely closer to 3.5 years. </p>