Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 29 May 2026 20:56:03 +0000 Mrs. Pickle on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108666 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:38:37 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 108666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely! My dad is an amazing father. He was a single dad for a couple years so I think that supports your theory about primary caregivers. Boogs on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108665 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:36:18 +0000 Boogs 108665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Maysprout: Wow that's some impressive daddy intuition! Maysprout on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108654 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:18:34 +0000 Maysprout 108654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think most times women and men are both great parents and sometimes one is better than the other. But, I do know that a lot of women I've talked to have a sort of 'anxiety' after birth, where they envision things happening and take precautions to avoid bad things - even if the likelihood of the bad thing happening is very rare. I think that 'intuition' decreases over time after birth but I do think there is some superpower that is temporarily conferred after giving birth. I think 'anxiety' is the name it's given but that has a negative connotation and really it's learning to be a protective mama, and I do think it's something tied to the birth process. My friend however was saved as an infant by her father who had some strong feeling he should return home. The babysitter was downstairs and unaware that my friend was suffocating under blankets in the crib. But luckily the father got home in time and got her to the hospital and all was fine. Mrs. Sunglasses on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108647 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:09:59 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 108647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Defintely. My dad raised my sisters. Their mom (if you want to call it that) never took care of them. So sad cvbee on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108646 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:09:46 +0000 cvbee 108646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My Dad was! For me, it was the way he was always so patient with me and really gave his time to me generously. Little things like the way he would explain how he put the honey onto my toast, or how he'd read me my bed time stories and stay with me for a long time when I was falling asleep....it all meant a lot to me and left a lasting impression. To this day, he continues to give me lots of time, and always listens and supports my decisions, making me feel good about my life and giving advice in subtle, smart ways. Yay for great Dads! Rubies on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108642 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:06:05 +0000 Rubies 108642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think that whoever is the primary caregiver will probably be the better parent for reasons I think are obvious. Whoever spends the most time with the child will just know more or be able to do things faster, no? Boogs on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108628 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 20:53:07 +0000 Boogs 108628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I am guilty of saying mama knows best, just today in fact! When I said it earlier, I meant it more because I'm our LO's primary caregiver, so I know more quickly what is and isn't normal for him. It definitely isn't because I don't think DH isn't a good dad. I actually think that dads can be just as good parents as moms, in fact some dads are better parents than some moms. I can think of some dads that I know that are WAY better than their baby mamas. Like you, I don't think better parenting is tied to gender, I think there can be a lot of factors involved that would make one parent better than another. I also don't think that a primary caregiver is automatically the better parent either. cupcakemama on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108602 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 20:31:32 +0000 cupcakemama 108602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think the primary caregiver knows the routine and the child slightly better. DH and I have different strengths. DH is awesome playing and entertaining LO. He seems to have unlimited patience. I am more attentive/nurturing if LO is sick or tired. mrstilly on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108583 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 19:58:56 +0000 mrstilly 108583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think dads can be just as good a parent as moms can be. I know dh has more patience than I do. It helps that DH has summers off from teaching and is home with ds. He really figured out his own way to parent ds. We balance each other with worries, play time and getting household stuff done. BSB on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108501 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:26:40 +0000 BSB 108501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: Yeah, I say generally, though. Maybe it's because of all the stereotypes that women are usually the caregivers and usually more nurturing. I know that these days, that is changing. This is coming from someone who is perfectly fine with my DH being a SAHD and me going back to work. My mom was the same way. I'm so glad my mom doesn't use the internet but I would say my dad was the better parent growing up. I'm going to stop now before I put my foot in my mouth. :) Mrs. Pen on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108500 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:26:09 +0000 Mrs. Pen 108500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It largely depends on the situation. It always bugged me growing up when dads would work all day then go out at night, leaving mom alone all day with kiddie. Soi told my husband when we got engaged that I wouldn't tolerate that. But no worries here, my husband is an excellent dad. I think he definitely has the ability to be a better parent than me. He is the most patient person i've ever known, he is sensitive to LO's needs, he is compassionate, affectionate and loving. I am not patient at all! I've definitely seen some better dads than moms. It all depends on the couple. I think in my little family, we complement each other very well. I think as LO grows older, we'll work well together. BoogieBea on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108493 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:19:57 +0000 BoogieBea 108493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's funny that you posted this because I was just thinking about this yesterday and was going to post something along the same lines. My mil has been here visiting the past two weeks. She always says that men can't take care of children. But i think it's because he's never really had the opportunity to learn. She's an old school Chinese mom who took care of everything in the household while bringing up her three boys. My FIL did not do anything in the house or any of the child care. In his defense though, he did work several jobs for a long time. It's more or less the same in our household growing up. Though eventually my dad took an interest in cooking and cooked dinners for our family each night from high school on. Things are definitely different in our household. DH helps out a lot around the house, especially now that we have two LOs. I do still do a lot of the main child care because I work at home and only work part time. But as soon as DH comes home, our older one mostly hangs out with him. DH has also always been the one to do his bed time routine and, after our second, has been putting him to bed as well. So he's been handling all the tantrums and whining as he's trying to transition him for bed. Through trial and error, he's able to figure out tricks to get LO to cooperate with minimal protest. I'm not sure if I could have done anything better. I used to think that mother's intuition is stronger than father's intuition. Perhaps there is some truth to that in some cases but after having children, I realized how much I really didn't know about child care and parenting. Even something as natural as breastfeeding took much practice and research.to be able to do properly. I think a lot of men (i think that is less so in modern day) tend to take the supporting role in child care due to lack of time or cultural/social influence. But if they were the primary care taker, I don't see why they can't do as good a job as the mom. Andrea on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108490 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:17:42 +0000 Andrea 108490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Of course! There are good and bad parents, it is not gender specific. mrsjazz on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108487 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:15:48 +0000 mrsjazz 108487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think it's the primary caretaker--not gender specific. Though I can admit that I automatically assume that the mom is the better parent because of my experience and my husband's experience being raised by single moms. I have to constantly check myself on this, because I've seen some pretty amazing dads. mrbee on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108486 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:14:11 +0000 mrbee 108486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @bluestriped bee: So women inherently make better parents than men? (I mean as primary caretakers.) MegWag on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108485 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:13:43 +0000 MegWag 108485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It really irritates me when the role men play as a father is minimized. I've seen it so many times- even in my friend's relationships- where mom's way is the right way and dad is left feeling useless. Men are just as capable as women! BSB on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108483 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:13:05 +0000 BSB 108483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: Yup, I think dads can be a better parent than moms can. While I can see that generally, there are more better moms than better dads. But there are always exceptions to the rule. chopsuey on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108478 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:11:13 +0000 chopsuey 108478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yep. Some dads are definitely better caretakers than moms! heffalump on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108466 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 17:56:53 +0000 heffalump 108466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No way are mom's better than dads. My husband is an amazing dad. I think something I have over him is that I spend all day with LO, and I have more patience in general. But I don't think those things are gender specific, and he has his things that he does better then me with LO. cyndistar3 on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108464 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 17:50:27 +0000 cyndistar3 108464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely! Ive seen some dads be the better parent. mrbee on "Do you think dads can be as good a parent as moms?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-dads-can-be-as-good-a-parent-as-moms#post-108463 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 17:47:05 +0000 mrbee 108463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ There are a lot of sayings about how moms make great parents... for example: * A mother's intuition * Mommy knows best I always thought of these as pretty harmless sayings. But lately, I've noticed that sometimes they're used in a way that elevates moms over dads. As in, a mom will have an intuitive sense for her child that a dad will not. My sense is that the primary caretaker of a child usually knows best. Usually that's the mom, but it can also be a dad. If you're spending the most time with a child, then you're likely to be the first to notice if something is wrong. I don't think that's necessarily tied to gender? Curious what you guys think though. Can a dad be as good a parent as a mom? Or put another way: say you met a stay-at-home mom and her child at the playground and then the next day you met a stay-at-home dad with his child. Barring any other information, would you assume the mom is probably a better parent than the dad?