https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 15:13:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/4#post-1477738 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 09:56:55 +0000 daniellemybelle 1477738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@char54: Reading your latest post made me think back to those early days, and how I was convinced that I hated BFing &amp; that it was not a "bonding thing" for us. It was probably 2 months or more before the bonding part clicked in. </p> <p>Honestly, a huge reason I kept at it (other than my general stubbornness) was the societal pressure to BF &amp; the stigma of FF. Yes, I think human milk is best for babies, and I wanted my baby to have it, but I was more concerned with what others thought, sadly.</p> <p>Now, looking back, I am somewhat glad I felt "pressured" to BF because I have my nursing relationship with my daughter... but I do think it's really unfortunate how shamed women can feel when they don't BF, for whatever reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/4#post-1471832 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 04:15:59 +0000 Charm54 1471832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: like @Cherrybee: I think it's a fair question and have no problem answering it...</p> <p>Like I said, I tried BFing , it didn't work out, so I EPed and supplemented. The next LO I will either EP right away or go straight to formula, here's why:</p> <p>- I have a lot of family members (grandparents, aunts, DH!) who not only can help feed but LOVE to help and often do.<br /> -I'm convinced it's one of the reasons she STTN from a very early age (5 weeks)..obviously not a guarantee but I don't think she would STTN so young if I didn't bottle feed<br /> -BFing was never bonding for me, for me (I know I'm an anomaly), giving a bottle and looking into her eyes as I feed her is extremely powerful for both of us.<br /> -I won't NIP and am not comfortable nursing in front of in laws, friends, etc<br /> -I could give her a soother to calm her down when she was in the NICU (ironically because she wasn't getting enough while I tried to BF) without worrying about nipple confusion<br /> -I think the benefits (especially long term) of bfing are largely overstated so for me (I want to emphasize for me!!) the stress/emotional toll/worrying if she's getting enough aren't worth it. I know I will get a happy, healthy, thriving baby both with Formula and BM depending on if I choose to EP for #2 again</p> <p>This is why bfing doesn't work for me/my family, but I certainly support mothers who DO want to BF and think they should get all the support they need (as should mothers who want/need to FF) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/4#post-1471822 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 03:21:39 +0000 Cherrybee 1471822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't care how anyone else chooses to feed their child. I think that women should make the decision that's right for their families.</p> <p>@birdofafeather: I think it's a very worthwhile question and the way you asked it wasn't loaded at all so I think it's okay to ask! I did try to breastfeed but when I was pregnant I went back and forth about whether I was going to try at all. Here are the reasons on my cons list: </p> <p>- I wanted DH to bond with DD too, through feeding<br /> - I wanted DH to help with night feeds<br /> - I was scared it would hurt<br /> - I'd heard it was difficult and I didn't want to ruin those first few weeks of DD's life by making it even harder.<br /> - I was scared she'd cry and cry in the hospital, keeping all the bottle fed babies awake because she was only getting colostrum and needed some milk.<br /> - I was terrified of cluster feeding<br /> - I was scared of getting mastitis and being ill when she needed me.<br /> - I wanted my body back and didn't want to wear nursing tops and bras for the next year!<br /> - I didn't want to get my stretchmarky boobs out in public, in front of my inlaws etc.<br /> - I was scared of becoming her sole comfort (the human paci!) and then weaning her off: would she think I had stopped loving her? </p> <p>When I was in the hospital, all five other ladies on my ward were bottle feeding from the start and were baffled as to why I was trying to BF. They had all brought milk into the hospital from the start, fully intending not to try to BF. It's more common than I'd realised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/4#post-1471745 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 00:27:57 +0000 MamaMagpie 1471745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ash: "Every mom looks for verification that what she chooses is right but I've decided that nobody can make me feel inadequate as a parent - that's an issue I have with myself."<br /> I think that's a really good point -- in my opinion, it's human (or parent?) nature to look for validation of our choices, no matter what those choices are. Because being a parent involves so much emotion and uncertainty, it's inevitable that people feel the need to be "right" about their choices and maybe for some that means others with different choices must therefor be "wrong". Actually, I guess that applies not just to parenting choices but other areas where people feel very strongly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/4#post-1471641 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 23:08:41 +0000 Grace 1471641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did vote yes and that's because those antibodies in breastmilk are beneficial to a newborn who has a weaker immune system. BUT, it's none of my business and I would never go on some sort of crusade to convince anyone to do it. And I really don't look down on people who don't try - I mean, just because I think it's important, doesn't mean that everyone else should. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/4#post-1471630 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 23:00:46 +0000 lemondrop 1471630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, it's not my place to have an opinion on what another parent does with their body or their baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/4#post-1471620 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 22:53:10 +0000 heffalump 1471620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend that was pregnant at the same time as me, and she said she wasn't going to breastfeed and go straight to formula. Honestly, at the time I thought it was weird and didn't get why anyone would do that. And then I tried breastfeeding (which didn't work out) and I considered her the smarter one. I went through a lot of unnecessary pain and guilt. That being said, I tried to bf again with #2 and succeeded. But now I'm more in the "to each their own" mindset. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/4#post-1471598 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 22:36:09 +0000 birdofafeather 1471598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>going off the question asked, i do think most moms should try to BF. obviously there are extenuating circumstances (adoption comes to mind) where i can't apply the blanket statement of EVERY mom should. my personal belief is that BFing is best for me and i have reaped benefits for myself and for DD.</p> <p>i've actually thought a lot about why some mothers choose to FF from the start. (and wish i could ask here without fear of being run off the bee for simple curiosity). the mothers i personally know that FF (or supplement) tried to BF and had issues with supply, latch and illness. that being said, it really isn't any of my business overall (and i only know about my friends who shared with me as i didn't ask the ins and outs to randoms) and i don't judge those who FF at all because i KNOW the difficulties of BFing and that it just doesn't work out for whatever reason for some moms.</p> <p>i wish there was more information, support and education available for those that would like to try to BF but don't have access to it. i know i was really lucky to have a supportive family, SO and access to free BFing support groups to answer questions and provide a safe community for me to go to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470906 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 17:51:24 +0000 Ash 1470906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! Every mom wants the best for their baby whether it be what they eat, what they wear, what they're exposed to etc and every mom has an opinion on what is best. Only recently has bfing become a huge topic. My dad was ff, my husband was ff and I was ff. Bfing wasn't pushed and in some areas it still isn't. I work in a hospital around lactation consultants so I've been led to believe that's the only way to feed your baby (and I also believe the majority of hb feels this way) so I went along with it. Only after having a baby and giving him formula have I changed my mind. Every mom looks for verification that what she chooses is right but I've decided that nobody can make me feel inadequate as a parent - that's an issue I have with myself. But I do feel judged when I whip out formula rather than my boob to feed my baby... my problem. I don't think anyone should have a say how you feed your baby as long as you're actually feeding him/her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470902 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 17:50:30 +0000 skipra 1470902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @char54: I was posting on my phone earlier so I wasn't really able to properly read through everything. I am not trying to harp on the issue but I was just thinking about it. I do find it sad that you both (and I'm sure MANY other moms) feel judged for formula feeding. I remember when DS was just a few weeks old we had a cable guy at the house and it was time to feed DS so I gave him a bottle of expressed breast milk and the cable guy had the nerve to comment on the fact that I was already giving him a bottle. Like seriously, why can't people mind their own business??? Now I am being judged for the opposite reason - DS is still nursing at almost 18 months and people act like I'm trying to kill him. Anyway, the point I was trying to make earlier was that I absolutely do not think any woman should be forced to try breastfeeding and in fact there are several situations where I would actively discourage breastfeeding in favor of formula feeding. I was not commenting in any way that I think a woman needs a reason to formula feed. Yes, she will have a reason, even if it's just that it is easier for her, but it doesn't make it anyone's business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470875 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 17:40:07 +0000 daniellemybelle 1470875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: My thoughts exactly. Holding the opinion that moms *should* give breastfeeding a try is different than, for example, advocating for legislation that would force moms to attempt breastfeeding. </p> <p>This is coming from someone who has seriously struggled, and who is grateful for formula - I think breastfeeding should be just considered the normal way to feed your baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470705 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:57:20 +0000 looch 1470705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: and I am okay with your opinion (not that you need my validation) as an example of posting an opinion without being inflammatory. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470690 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:52:40 +0000 whodat 1470690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I answered yes, because if someone asked me whether they should try to breastfeed, that's what I would tell them. </p> <p>Now, if that same person DIDN'T ask me, it would be none of my business and I wouldn't judge. It's her body. I was just answering the question as though it was someone asking my opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470614 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:28:45 +0000 HabesBabe 1470614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think that all mothers should try-- it was the right choice for me, but I don't know what's going on in other people's minds (like PPs have said). </p> <p>I think we are all really lucky to be in the situations we're in (not to generalize, but oh well): we all have access to the internet to access a parenting site in our spare time (or even better, while we're supposed to be "working"). Not every woman has the same luxury, and BFing takes time, patience, and resources that not everyone has access to. Pumping is even harder! </p> <p>It doesn't even have to do anything with a woman's lifestyle or salary or environment-- if she doesn't want to BF, she shouldn't feel guilty or be criticized for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470609 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:27:27 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1470609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: Yes, I definitely agree. I mean, in theory the studies should be free of politicizing, and should just be reporting the truth of their study. But it does seem like a lot of media, etc., are using the studies to sort of say, "hey, let's stop talking about the value of BF," which may be good for FF moms, sure, but is probably not good for advancing pro-BF learning policies nationwide, worldwide, etc., in places where BF learning is still rare and could be valuable. Regardless, the studies should exist, but just the buzz around them is frustrating to me, makes me feel like people would rather feel validated in their choices than actually work to help each other out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470594 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:24:19 +0000 Lindsay05 1470594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have not read all the posts but I am going to say...Yes.</p> <p>Why? Because in *most* cases the breast is readily available. That does not say that formula feeding is wrong in anyway. I do wish that formula feeding mama's got more respect. </p> <p>Personally, I have started with ebf both of my LO's. With #1, we battled, and I cried daily with the struggle to keep going. We eventually (at 4 months) supplemented and life was heavenly. Even though of my struggles with my first LO, I decided to ebf with #2 and at 7 weeks we are still going strong. Now I know that many many women try for a day, week, month and it just doesn't work and switch to formula. GOOD for them. Recognizing the struggle for whatever reason, provides a very healthy relationship for mama and baby. The key is though, that it has been attempted. </p> <p>On the other hand, it's a woman's choice and her choice should not be criticized. As long as baby is getting food, it's all good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470580 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:21:07 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1470580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes.</p> <p>In my opinion, breastfeeding is vital, biological system that needs to be protected and maintained. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470577 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:20:37 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1470577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Fair enough. Although I will say on similar threads....for example, SAH vs WOH...there is always someone to say, "hey, this isn't always a matter of choice." And I think this is a similar case, although perhaps in the developed world that isn't the case as much. But perhaps it still is for the women who feel that they cannot BF and also go about their lives due to lack of ability to pump, lack of place to nurse for those that are modest, family pressures, have to work night shift, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470568 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:18:10 +0000 Jenn23 1470568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, and I don't think this even should be a question. It is a mother's decision on how to feed her baby. As long as the baby is eating, healthy, etc. then it is not my business at all. I don't get all the hoopla on this topic. In my mind, it is a personal decision, nobody has to try anything or defend their decisions. Makes me angry actually to see so many women on both sides so upset. There shouldn't be sides on this issue. We are all mothers, feeding our babies the way WE think is best or just what ends up working. The End. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470550 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:13:58 +0000 pui 1470550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I feel like these studies that are coming out saying that FF is not as bad as previously thought are not "anti breastfeeding" they're just "pro formula". They probably help comfort a lot of moms who can't/didn't breastfeed for whatever reason. I don't think they somehow hurt breast feeding mothers. I'm not seeing it anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470541 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:10:21 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 1470541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470532 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:08:03 +0000 Charm54 1470532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: &lt;3 &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470519 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:04:46 +0000 looch 1470519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: I don't disagree with you on the global issue. But none of us are addressing the developing world in any of our posts, do not isolate me.</p> <p>And further it is not about taking formula away from me, I just don't want to have to provide a societally approved reason to use it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470518 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:04:29 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1470518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: I guess I'm just saying, the BF issue is bigger than just our behind-closed-doors personal choices, and how we act in public (complaining about the lactation consultant, judging the overly-enthusiastic BF mom) can have an impact on policy throughout the world. I mean, incrementally, yes. Public opinion creates buzz, which creates change. </p> <p>I feel like I've read so much anti-breastfeeding buzz recently (every time a new study comes out, someone is there to deconstruct it), that it is absolutely tiring, because the science still says it is a good thing for babies....in the developed world, maybe only a little, and in the developing world, it can be a lifesaver. Still, the "don't-take-away-my-formula" voice seems to be drowning all that out, in the name of a "choice" that many impoverished women, in this country and in ours (I did mention that in my rural and poor area FF is by far the norm), still don't get to make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470502 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 15:59:33 +0000 pinkcupcake 1470502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will personally breast feed my next child (or try my hardest to), but I could care less how you (generally speaking "you") feed yours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470490 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 15:56:48 +0000 Charm54 1470490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: +1... When I made this post I was thinking with the first world in mind. Should I feel guilty for that?? ... Maybe , but it's a legitimate question that I had about the country (continent?) I live in today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470485 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 15:54:59 +0000 Charm54 1470485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: I think we are closer on this issue than you think.... I absolutely agree that we are incredibly blessed to have the choice to bf or safely ff. I feel even more blessed as a Canadian to have a maternity leave that promotes either feeding choice.</p> <p>I would absolutely advocate for tackling the bigger issues in developing countries - more bfing support, more access to clean water to safely prepare formula, better maternal care and post partum support, increased access to vaccinations and medications... Etc etc. I think it's a complex issue that is very multi faceted. I still don't think every mother in a developing country needs to bf or needs a reason to use formula if that's what works best for her. My hope and dream for every single woman (though I know it is totally not realistic with the current state in many countries) is that all women have the information , access and resources to choose the best way to feed their child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470477 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 15:52:45 +0000 MsLipGloss 1470477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Simply because I enjoy--by sheer luck and happenstance--the benefits of living in a first world country doesn't mean that I should be any less, to use your words, "obsessed with defending [my] absolute, not-going-away right to formula feed" . . . because it is my bodily integrity that is at issue here, which is so much bigger than the issue of BF/FF. </p> <p>When you change the *facts* upon which all the previous posts have been based, i.e., First World versus Everywhere Else, of course it seems like petty "squabbling." But that's not fair. If you want to address BF on a global scale, great, let's do that. But don't swoop in and *shame* the pps for their (apparent) failure to examine BF/FF on a global scale. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470444 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 15:46:53 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1470444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to add an addendum and say that by "if educated properly" I mean, if educated on HOW to BF, not necessarily the benefits of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-breastfeed/page/3#post-1470440 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 15:45:17 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1470440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @char54: you say no mother should have to provide a "reason," but what about in the developing world, where (according to UNICEF), "Optimal breastfeeding of infants under two years of age has the greatest potential impact on child survival of all preventive interventions, with the potential to prevent over 800,000 deaths (13 per cent of all deaths) in children under five in the developing world (Lancet 2013). "</p> <p>Again, I don't think that any woman should be forced to breastfeed....really, I don't. People have been finding alternative ways to feed their children since...probably since the first child was born. But sometimes I find it annoying when women in this country seem so obsessed with defending their absolute, not-going-away right to formula feed, when all around the world women are struggling to feed their children and, if they had support, might benefit from BF education (they don't HAVE to....but they might). All this talk about "breastfeeding pressure" actually works to undermine the value of breastfeeding education....why not just put to rest the BF vs. FF debate here, where we have the luxury to choose boppy vs. dr. brown's, and focus on other women who really have no good choice? </p> <p>I guess what I'm trying to say is, what are we attempting to do when we talk about the "right" to formula feed? Just to normalize it here? (As if it weren't the norm already? Because in spite of what is happening online, in my part of the world--rural and poor--FF is by far the norm.) Because in Zimbabwe, for example, only six percent of women BF....it seems difficult for me to believe that, if educated properly, only six percent of women would attempt BF. More likely, cultural norms and formula marketing have prevented BF uptake. And when in the USA, women get so defensive about doctors promoting breastfeeding, and get angry when anyone even breathes about the value of BF....I get overwhelmed and sad. Here we squabble about choice, and elsewhere centuries of BF knowledge is struggling to survive, and could be of use to many women. </p>