https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 02:24:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-37354 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:40:27 +0000 BSB 37354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I would. My parents are asian so growing up was tough. They were really strict. Also, my parents weren't emotional so it caused my brother and sisters to become independent at a younger age.</p> <p>His parents were more loving and not as strict.</p> <p>I still think it drove my siblings and I to go that extra step to succeed.</p> <p>When we have our own kids, I won't be as strict as my parents were to me but I'll definitely be somewhat strict about getting a good education. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-37348 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:35:23 +0000 cyndistar3 37348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be a totally different person because my in laws aren't even DH's parents. He was taken away from his birth mother when he was really little and then adopted. We have very different life stories, neither of which are the greatest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-37259 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 17:02:44 +0000 Mrsbells 37259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely, the home you grow up really shapes your personality as well as your opinions of "normal" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-37197 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:54:50 +0000 Modern Daisy 37197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had totally different upbringings! DH grew up with a single Mom, but was socialized through day cares and church groups so he is a lot more outgoing. I grew up with a SAHM who had little interests outside of the home and as a result I am much more introverted and have social anxiety. The thing I love most about DH is his personality, how he can strike up a conversation with anyone on the planet with no problem and he has people rolling on the ground laughing within seconds. I think my personality is a nice balance, because I am quieter and nurturing but have a great sense of humor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-37193 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:51:42 +0000 .twist. 37193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh wow. we'd be so different. We have the same values and morals, but he grew up in a non-strict household, whereas my parents ran a totally strict ship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-37188 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:44:16 +0000 mediagirl 37188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OH YES. His Dad was military strict with his kids. His Mom stayed at home and was the nurturing one. She has a lot of empathy that my husband got. My Dad was a traveling salesman and then worked from a different state while I was growing up. Mom was kind but strict and Dad was the fun one. I don't think I could be friends with dh's parents like I am with mine if his were mine growing up. I'm not knocking his folks but, I'm so glad I had the parents I did. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-37115 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:47:25 +0000 LuLu Mom 37115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our parents had very similar styles of parenting &amp; are very similar people so I don't think I would be that much different. I would have been the only girl, so i think my in laws would have been way more protective than my parents (raising 3 girls they treated us all the same.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-37110 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:44:27 +0000 daniellemybelle 37110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a great question! I think I would be the same in some ways... I turned out more like my DH's family in a few things than my own family. For example, I am politically and personally more liberal and open-minded than my family, and I am pretty non-religious like DH's family and unlike my family.</p> <p>I'm certainly no expert on nature vs. nurture, but I think the commonalities I share with my parents I would probably share even if I wasn't raised with them. Some of their traits I don't love (I'm hyper-emotional, disorganized, etc.) but I can't shake 'em... so I chalk that up to biology! Who knows, though. Maybe if my ILs had raised me, I'd always be on time and never cry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36867 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 09:46:56 +0000 sorrycharlie 36867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: I second the, "SHUDDER."</p> <p>I am so not a fan of ILs religion or ways they live their lives. I am quite happy to be raised in a household in which I did NOT think racial/sex jokes are the norm, homosexuality is a chosen, horrid thing, and men are forever above women. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36859 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 09:41:49 +0000 mrsguinness 36859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, absolutely!<br /> Morally, we would be the same. We would have similar family values and be hard-working (part of why we're married, in the grand scheme of things)...mentally that's just a scary thought because while my husband was raised well, he always walked on eggshells and couldn't be himself. If he were raised by my family, he would learn what crazy and dysfunctional meant, but he would have been able to speak his mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36855 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 09:37:44 +0000 heffalump 36855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd probably be the same. Our mother's are both typical Jewish mothers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36849 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 09:29:55 +0000 Mrs. D 36849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely!<br /> I was raised by just my mom, and he was in a two parent family. My mom wasn't as strict as his. My family (in my opinion) shows love a lot more easily than his. My extended family is very close, his is not (so on holidays we were always and still are surrounded by cousins and aunts). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36700 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 22:40:37 +0000 Rosie Girl 36700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We would be very different! Both were raised by hard working parents, but totally different types of hobbies/interests and such. His family did piano lessons and such, we never did. Things like that were really different for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36696 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 22:32:46 +0000 ecogirl 36696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my we would be so different! My husband was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Boarding schools abroad, private planes to travel and trust fund included. I shared a room with my sister and we drove an old station wagon because that's what we could afford. My husband is very hardworking because he wanted to make his own success and money. I was very ambitious because I wanted all the things I never had and my parents taught me to work for it. I cannot imagine what we would be like if we had been switched! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36684 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 22:03:48 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 36684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were both raised by strict hardworking parents so I think we would be similar to how we are now. However we both come from divorced families and if we had been raised by our other parents (my mom, his dad) we would be completely different people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36681 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:59:38 +0000 mrs. wagon 36681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I do love her and our relationship improves with each passing year. But... SHUDDER. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36680 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:57:46 +0000 mrbee 36680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: Haha I love your comments about your MIL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36678 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:55:47 +0000 mrs. wagon 36678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>SHUDDER. That's all I have to say about that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36663 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:36:31 +0000 venice4504 36663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, they would have probably led me to become a resident at Betty Ford. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36653 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:19:10 +0000 Boogs 36653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sooo different! He was raised in a VERY strict two parent home. I was raised in a single parent home (some of the time my mom had a SO living with her). It was pretty much fend for yourself and do what you want when you want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36638 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:00:40 +0000 chopsuey 36638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>TOTALLY. DH's parents are white (he was adopted). If my parents raised DH, he'd probably be a doctor or lawyer. Can't even imagine what I'd be like if I were raised by the in-laws.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-if-you-were-raised-by-your-in-laws-would-you-be-a-dramatically-different-person#post-36629 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 20:53:21 +0000 mrbee 36629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you and your SO were switched at birth and each raised by the others' parents... do you think you'd be dramatically different?</p> <p>I think the differences for us would be mitigated by the fact that a lot of Asian parents have parenting styles in common. When I visit my inlaw, I get a pretty similar feeling of "home" that I get when I spend time with my parents. So I'd like to think that I'd be basically the same person.</p> <p>Do you think if you were raised by your in laws, would you be a dramatically different person? What about your SO: what if they were raised by your parents? </p>