https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 11:01:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/4#post-685813 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 02:47:58 +0000 SAHM0811 685813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: ah ok, thanks for clarifying! I realize there's also a difference between nursing a toddler for comfort with mom (as a habit) morning and night VS. nursing a toddler for comfort to evade a tantrum or to cope with a stressor... Two very different things, IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/4#post-685808 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 02:27:25 +0000 photojane 685808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Checkers: here, here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/4#post-685807 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 02:25:36 +0000 photojane 685807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SAHM0811: my reference to my students wasn't to say that children who are breastfed at extended ages will have inadequate social skills, it was an example of one of the reasons why I want to teach my toddler/preschooler specific methods of addressing her wants, needs, and emotions. I personally don't want my daughters emotional tool kit to include nursing, but would never judge or impose my opinions on someone who disagrees. We should all be careful to monitor the ways we are teaching our children to interact and adjust to social situations. I thought I was clear that I was referencing my own daughter there, but I'm happy to explain! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/4#post-685759 Tue, 02 Apr 2013 23:54:21 +0000 Mrs Checkers 685759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow...I am fascinated by everyone's comments!</p> <p>I wasn't able to BF or very long. I EBF for the first month, supplemented with formula until LO was 8 weeks, and then she was completely on formula. So, I can't really speak from experience.</p> <p>I don't think it's gross, but I don't think I would personally do it (but who knows what will happen with our next one). It's hard to imagine because I never nursed long enough to actually ever become comfortable with it.</p> <p>My whole parenting philosophy is this - you do what you think is best for your child and what works for you. Just like I would hope that people wouldn't judge me for putting my baby on formula so early, or going out to eat now and again when I can't get home in time to get dinner on the table by a decent hour, I wouldn't judge another mom for extended BF either. It just isn't for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-685751 Tue, 02 Apr 2013 23:34:11 +0000 SAHM0811 685751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: just curious, what are some examples of inadequate coping abilities you've seen? do you mean, crying, meltdowns, and tantrums? also, would you say that nursing past two (or any other age) equals coddling? in your experience also, what are some signs of coddling that you've seen in the environment you worked at? </p> <p>just trying to understand your perspective. I'm careful not to coddle my kids, but I know that culturally, I am probably at a tendency to do so. Your last post just stood out to me for some reason so I'd love for you to expand on what you meant. Feel free to wall post if you're more comfortable with that. Thanks :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-685670 Tue, 02 Apr 2013 21:39:49 +0000 Maysprout 685670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: My daughter is almost 2 and she still nurses for nutrition. Breastmilk is still antibody and nutrient rich even for a 2 year old so I'm fine that some of her calories and nutrition still come from me, there are much less healthy alternatives that I see plenty of 2 year olds feasting on.<br /> As for nursing fostering an inability to cope, I don't identify with that either. I'm sure that there are bad nursing habits that can develop just like with anything else but it's just not something I've seen in my experience or from other mommy's I've known. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680941 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 19:59:08 +0000 allison 680941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mewtill: I agree with you 100% </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680836 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 18:26:09 +0000 pl0508 680836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yowza. This thread has really taken off. Personally I do not plan to be bf when my child is two. My current goal is 6 months and long term is 1 year. I am going back to work, though, so most of his intake will be from bottles pretty soon . I think I just can't get past a child of that size actually attached to the breast. </p> <p>Like @photojane: said, its ok to disagree ! I would never judge someone for choosing to, though. I'm quickly learning parenting is so personal - it's important to do what's right for you and your child and that may not line up with what is best for me and my child ! That doesn't make anyone a lesser parent! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680793 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 17:50:35 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 680793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think extended breastfeeding is weird and I definitely don't think it's gross. I never thought about it before I got pregnant, so I can't say my views have changed. </p> <p>My breastfeeding philosophy has been and still is this: I'll do it until it's not right for me or my LO anymore. My son is 6 months and I'm happy to have reached this milestone. I hope to continue until at least age 1, and I'm open to going beyond that if it makes sense for me and my son. I feel like we're the only two who get a say in the decision and it's not really important to me what other mothers/children decide in regards to their personal breastfeeding relationship. </p> <p>I really don't understand why someone would think its gross. Nearly everything having to do with raising small children is technically "gross", but no one really cares or discusses those things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680772 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 17:38:56 +0000 photojane 680772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sloaneandpuffy: no offense taken! You don't sound witchy... no worries! But, no, I don't have a toddler. I do think it's unfair to suppose that because I don't have one means I can't have opinions or beliefs about how I want my children to think and behave when they are toddlers. I want to teach my daughter ways to cope &amp; find comfort that don't include sucking on me, and I think that's ok. And I think it's ok for your children to suck on you... even if I do think its a little weird. :) I would never tell you how you should raise your baby, but I think it's perfectly cool that we have different opinions.</p> <p>I will say that as an early childhood &amp; elementary school teacher I've seen lots of children with inadequate coping abilities due to parents who coddled. Of course there are lots of caveats and exceptions, but it is a large reason why I want my children to be able to self-soothe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680710 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 16:24:15 +0000 mamimami 680710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@allison: oh my gosh, totally. You see a three year old drinking coke and it's like, "whatever." But breastfeeding! Oh no!</p> <p>@photojane: no offense, but the coping mechanism thing makes me think maybe you don't have a toddler? I don't mean to sound like a witch but as the mom of a two year old, I'll take all the coping mechanisms I can get. Healthy ones, that is -- which I think nursing is. I guess you don't. As many here have said, to each her own! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680706 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 16:16:39 +0000 Mrs. Twine 680706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma; I am fairly sure that that is scientifically accurate (that they will lose the ability to latch. But if the child is doing it for comfort they may persist beyond when they are able to actually get any milk (just speculation, and somewhat based on my daughter and friends' children who nursed through dry spells during a pregnancy) in which case weaning might not coincide exactly with that loss of ability to nurse effectively. I think in most cases it does, though.<br /> @Rahlyrah; thanks! And thanks for voicing your curiosity and being so respectful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680691 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 16:01:15 +0000 CatyLady 680691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: Same here </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680687 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 15:59:11 +0000 Ra 680687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Monkula: Very interesting and informative! Thank you so much for being so open :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680684 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 15:53:31 +0000 Kemma 680684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Monkula: I think I watched a TV documentary that said that a child physically loses the ability to suckle somewhere between five and seven?</p> <p>I was thinking one of the reasons people might find extending nursing weird / unpalatable is that it's often associated with "hippies" or other groups of people that society has traditionally found "weird".</p> <p>This is such an interesting thread! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680674 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 15:45:26 +0000 Mrs. Twine 680674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rahlyrah; That's an excellent question! How long would I personally have continued: I would have gone to age seven without a thought. Past that, I would want to do some more research and would probably start asking myself what the need was being served by nursing and ask if there wasn't a better way to meet that need. I seriously doubt, given the pressures that kids place on other kids, that she would have continued much past that age. I think the "line" varies from woman to woman, which is really kind of neat! I personally couldn't see nursing a teen, but I'm pretty sure I've read accounts where in some other cultures an adult might "have a sip" in a non-sexual way, so it's completely possible that that's my own hang-up. Also, in this society I also do have to be cognizant/careful about if what I'm doing could potentially get me reported for being abusive. I think it's awesome that you're curious and open to discussion. I love to answer people's questions! If you have any more or want clarification, just let me know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680668 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 15:34:31 +0000 Ra 680668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Monkula: May I ask a question out of curiosity? I feel bad that I keep asking all of these questions, I have just never known anyone who has done extended nursing. It is interesting to me and, while I don't necessarily think it is right for me, I'd like to learn more about it.</p> <p>In your opinion, is there any age where it becomes unacceptable? For instance, if your daughter never self weaned at the age of 5, how long would you have kept going? Like, would it be acceptable for a 10-year-old to continue nursing? A teen? If the child never asks to stop, is there a point where those who extended nurse feel like it crosses a line?</p> <p>You don't have to answer...I'm just curious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680633 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 14:58:06 +0000 Mrs. Twine 680633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Allison; Thanks. I do know that if I want to see change in the attitudes of others about extended nursing, I have to be an agent for that. I don't love being stared at or criticized any more than the next woman, but if I let myself hide or feel ashamed it's harder for me to say I want the world to view what I did as acceptable. I don't want to recruit anyone, I don't think it's the right path for everyone, and I honestly hold nothing but acceptance for whatever choices other women make about how to feed or nurture their children. I DO want any woman on the same path, though, to feel as though she deserves that same level of acceptance and respect, and wish for them that the climate regarding extended breastfeeding changes enough that they don't do it only in private or at home unless that is what they want, not out of worry. It has amazed me how many people were accepting and even encouraging. I was often pleasantly surprised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680620 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 14:45:06 +0000 allison 680620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Monkula: I think it's awesome that you're so easy-going about it all. I think it just offends me because there are kids ages 2, 3, 4 that are eating shit like McDonalds, but the ones that are still nursing are the weird/gross ones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680612 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 14:32:40 +0000 Mrs. Twine 680612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here's the thing; I totally embrace the weird! Call me weird. Say it's strange. Or gross. If my daughter would have wanted or been comfortable I would have nursed her in public up until the bitter end, because until some of us do, this is going to be taboo, weird, etc. So I really wanted other women who wanted to extended nurse to feel that that was okay and not so strange, and I also hated the idea of feeling like I had to hide what I was doing from people. I researched, I gave lots of thought, I was (and am) very secure in that decision, so if it opened me up to dialogue, pleasant or less than, with others, so be it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680603 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 14:28:28 +0000 allison 680603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>God forbid we do anything that isn't "necessary", in regards to our children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680558 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 13:43:51 +0000 owlmom 680558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: interesting point. I have heard it put that way before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680555 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 13:42:19 +0000 owlmom 680555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rahlyrah: good point. If you were a person who wanted to give breast milk strictly for nutrition but didn't want to provide the comfort aspect to your child or didn't want to be considered weird by others, pumping would be a great way to do it! In my case, my daughter is only 17 months and doesn't nurse in public, so I really don't have a problem with it. I'm sure for her, BF-ing has a lot to do with comfort, which I also don't have a problem with. Since we only do it in the privacy of our own home, she's able to comfort herself in other ways, and I have no problem being considered a weird-o, I'd rather not go through all of the work of pumping. I may feel differently for myself as she gets older, but I don't think anyone else needs to change her delivery method, regardless of the age of her child or her reasoning for BF-ing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680424 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 11:35:31 +0000 pastemoo 680424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rahlyrah: Because pumping is the hugest pain in the A ever and takes precious time... and creates dishes. I am looking forward to quitting pumping long before I quit nursing.</p> <p>@owlmom: Aren't breasts sexual because their function of being nourishing makes them interesting? I mean, sex is about babies... so it makes sense. I don't think you can separate breasts from sex appeal or nourishing babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680333 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 09:06:11 +0000 Ra 680333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@owlmom: Just to play devil's advocate, if a toddler is nursing purely for nutritional reasons, and not for comfort reasons on the part of the child or mother, why not just pump and give to the child in a sippy cup? </p> <p>Hoping that doesn't come off as judgmental, just honestly curious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680095 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 23:51:43 +0000 MrsStar 680095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't think it's weird or gross and I wouldn't judge other people for it, but I wouldn't be able to do it myself since I would prefer to have my body back sooner rather then later. I'm hoping to breastfeed until lo is 1 and then that's it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680067 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 23:25:25 +0000 owlmom 680067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTiz: @zippylef: Thanks for clarifying. I agree that "unnecessary" and "weird" are better ways to express it than "gross." I think the use of the word "gross" is why people are more inclined to bring up the sexual nature of breasts as a counter argument. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-680062 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 23:18:18 +0000 owlmom 680062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: I do agree that the abundance of healthy food for many in our country makes BF-ing an older child unnecessary from a strictly nutritional standpoint. I believe that one of the reasons the average age of weaning world-wide is much older is because that unfortunately isn't the case in many parts of the world. But for arguments sake, what if I was living at or below the poverty line, and I didn't have access to an abundance of nutritious options? Would you still feel that breast milk is nutritional unnecessary? I think the majority of Americans consider cow milk (or a milk alternative) a staple "real" food for toddlers. As I stated previously, my daughter won't drink it, and I can only cram so much cheese, yogurt, and leafy greens into her. In my case, I really do feel that breast milk is still filling a nutritional gap in my 17 month old's diet and is the primary reason I still nurse. I certainly think it's okay to disagree on what we view as good nutrition :)</p> <p>While I'm sure my daughter receives comfort from breastfeeding, I think she mainly still does it out of habit. She only nurses at the same 3 times every day, and if she doesn't ask for it, we skip that nursing. She doesn't ever ask to nurse when she's upset or needs comfort. For that, she just wants hugs and kisses and possibly a band aid. I don't think that extended breastfeeding necessarily means that a child hasn't learned skills for coping that don't involve "sucking on another person" :) I think it's completely reasonable for a child to have multiple coping mechanisms. I personally think breastfeeding is an okay one for a toddler to have in her tool kit. And while I haven't been comfortable bf-ing my daughter in public since she was about 6 months old, I certainly think it's fine for someone else to comfort her 3 year old that way if both mama and child are okay with it.</p> <p>I don't think many extended BF-ers would argue with it being "weird" to BF past one, as it is not the norm in our culture. I think what rubs people the wrong way is the judgment of what is being labeled as "acceptable" or not. But, as I stated before, to each her own :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-679717 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 21:15:42 +0000 Kemma 679717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just for arguments sake, as a society we find it completely normal for adults to suck on cigarettes yet we have issues with a baby / toddler sucking on its mother! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-its-weirdgross-when-people-nurse-their-kids-past-the-age-of-2/page/3#post-679674 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 21:03:05 +0000 MrsTiz 679674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: agreed. Sucking their own thumb is quite different from sucking another persons anything. Thumb/breast/whatever. </p>