https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 13:59:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2458341 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 14:05:30 +0000 Greentea 2458341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think any parent deserves more of less respect based on "working status." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2458325 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 13:56:21 +0000 Corduroy 2458325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think they get comparable levels of respect. There are perks but I think you also get asked to do more things around the house than you would if you WOH. My opinion comes from DH WAH 2 days a week, WOH 2 days a week and having one week day off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2458306 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 13:48:27 +0000 babypugs 2458306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think WAH moms get less respect than WOH moms...but I do think they are envied more, so maybe that is what is coming across? There are perks to both! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2458266 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 13:27:55 +0000 Boogs 2458266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I hope to find something really flexible schedule-wise so I can maybe work the days DH is home. Or maybe something with their school to be on the same schedule as them. This option is a bit down the road since I won't have both kids in school for a while. Either way, if I can I would like to be more part time, I think full time might be a bit much for our needs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2458187 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 12:45:59 +0000 looch 2458187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: So, what are your expectations, then? I don't think it's really possible to have a full working paycheck and be with my kids full time...I don't really have any way to make that happen! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457989 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 11:11:27 +0000 LovelyPlum 2457989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: interesting! DH has mentioned several times that he feels like he is much more productive here, because there's fewer interruptions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457984 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 11:09:48 +0000 LovelyPlum 2457984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So DH works from home now, and it has opened up my eyes to the world of WAHP. In some ways, it's awesome. We used to have a super long commute that meant everyone, including LO, didn't get home until 6:30. That made her super cranky, tired, and hungry, and we were constantly frazzled. Now, she's home by 5 at the latest, and she can eat right away.</p> <p>On the other hand, he doesn't get away from the mess/distractions/chaos that is our house sometimes. And I know it frazzles him, and sometimes I forget that just because he's here doesn't mean he can help. It's even more challenging because his office does not have a door. But we're learning to balance it. He's been WAH for 5 months now, and I think we're starting to get in a groove. </p> <p>All to say, YES, WAH is a real job that requires childcare and concentration and balance, but it has been awesome for our family. DH is looking for some outlet outside of the house where he can escape for a bit. Once he finds that, though, I think we'll be in good shape.</p> <p>I'm sorry if you feel undervalued. But you're doing a great job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457939 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 10:43:00 +0000 Boogs 2457939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I haven't personally found a way to make it work yet myself, but I still look and hope that things will fall into place like they are meant to one day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457773 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 08:59:16 +0000 looch 2457773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: You're right, anyone getting their hustle on should be commended!</p> <p>It's just that some people don't want to hustle and instead want the benefits of both worlds, the working paycheck and being with their kids full time. I have yet to find a way to make this work, in all seriousness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457488 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 21:41:25 +0000 MrsH 2457488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I can't speak for others but that is where I'm coming from when I put WOH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457468 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 21:27:31 +0000 winniebee 2457468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: maybe that's the distinction I was missing. That WOH in threads is meant to distinguish from a SAHM/be mindful of the SAHM, who also works, but just in the home. I automatically (and perhaps wrongly) assumed posters were differentiating between WOH and WAH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457461 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 21:12:00 +0000 pastemoo 2457461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I don't, and I don't understand why. It's so hard.</p> <p>When my boy was 8 months to 15 months, I brought him with me to work 3 days a week (kind of like WAH, right?) I nursed him, and checked people in, and answered the phone, and gave shots and stuff. He got babysat for about 2-3 hours per day and I worked 10 hour days the 3 in-office days.<br /> The other two days, I did about 2 hours of work, from home, only during nap time. It was horrible because every failed nap meant I had to stay up late. Nothing was ever clean at home. Thank goodness the people at work loved having a baby around. It was INSANE.<br /> No one at work gave my any crap for that arrangement (except me). But my MIL thought I didn't do my 4 hours from home that I did and that made me pretty grumpy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457455 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 21:02:10 +0000 MrsH 2457455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I've titled threads that way mainly because it seems wrong to just use the term "working parent" because all parents work regardless of whether they have an employer. So instead I use WOH. </p> <p>Frankly I'm an attorney and WAH one day a week so I can put in laundry, run an errand at lunch, or see my kid (my mom watches the baby at my home that day). That day I'm not interrupted by coworkers popping in, have my calls routed to vm, and get a lot more done but have much much much more flexibility to do other things. I assume even those who work 9-5 jobs at home also have more flexibly (but not unlimited) to those that WOH but have no less respect for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457452 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 20:53:37 +0000 MamaG 2457452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I havent read all of the responses, but wanted to offer another perspective. My boss' wife quit working to SAHP when they had their kids. She is offended by people saying she doesn't work. She always corrects people with she doesn't work outside the home. Her perspective is she works supporting her family just not for pay. Clearly her work is different than yours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457443 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 20:45:03 +0000 FaithFertility 2457443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my area SAHM AND WAHM are not the norm, there for I do feel like they get slack or not as much respect!</p> <p>I feel like you said it well it has its small perks but definitely is still a job and work!</p> <p>I hear comments a lot in my area about ohh she is "just" a SAHM or well she WAH!</p> <p>So it leads me to my above opinion! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457439 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 20:42:49 +0000 ksnow 2457439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that most people I encounter (in real life) give the WAH less respect. Everyone else I work for/with works in an office, I just happen to be at home since my husband is military, and when he got orders to move, they asked if I wanted to take my computer and keep working. </p> <p>Most people when they ask where I work seem to automatically assume direct sales type thing/not many work hours...and are usually surprised when DD has a nanny/daycare. And when I've had a nanny quit in the past a lot of just "oh we'll you can just watch her then right?" even from family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/3#post-2457366 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 19:22:38 +0000 mrsjyw 2457366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wah full time with a few office days a month. I've never felt less respected, but I do feel like I don't live up to my own standards in terms of work and personal life. As in, I feel like I should be getting more done because I'm home more and I feel like I could do more professionally if I was in the office more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457355 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 19:15:29 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2457355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't really experienced anyone being less respectful (though I am pretty new to being a "full time working parent). Some of the comments geared toward parents who work from home part time but "aren't really working" because they "don't have a real job" felt a little disrespectful. I have spent the last 2 years working part time from home, and I was able to bring home more income than I am now working full time, and it was a LOT more difficult. </p> <p>I made the switch to working full time because it is SO much easier and SO much less stressful, because I am not trying to balance working with maintaining a house that little people are playing in all day during the little bit of free time/nap time that I have. I do have a little flexibility now, but not much. I have to get my projects done as I am an independent contractor and not a traditional employee...so if I am distracted by a dirty house or kids who don't nap, work doesn't get done. There isn't really time for anything but working during my work hours. </p> <p>All that to say, it feels kinda crappy to have people act like your work doesn't matter, regardless of how you have arranged your work/life balance. I am really thankful I haven't had to experience much of that with people I know, and I am sorry you have @winniebee: :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457273 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 17:19:48 +0000 Eko 2457273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is very situational. Someone's position in the Company and the profession they are in matter. I do sometimes work from home while DS still goes to daycare for the day. I would not be able to work a normal day if he was around. I still do the same amount of work from home as I do in the office. For me specifically, it certainly is easier working from home then it is going to the office. If I worked from home 100% of the time, life would be fucking fantastic. So while in my job, it's not a respect thing, but it is certainly life is easier working from home then it is in the office. But, only more senior people have the opportunity to do that where I work. So if people gripe I just don't care. I have worked hard to get to the position I am at. I think people just get jealous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457271 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 17:17:43 +0000 erinpye 2457271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457242 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 16:50:11 +0000 fussygal 2457242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WAH and while I don't feel disrespected I do feel like people think it's more relaxed at times then it actually is. Sure, there are plenty of perks to WFH, but being asked to pick up my nephew from preschool in the middle of the day is kind of annoying because yes, I do have REAL work to be doing. Even though I'm working remotely I still have to attend regular conference calls and be available from 9-5. There is no way I could do my job and not have someone watch LO, but I totally agree with @boogs, some people are able to do their WAH job and watch their kids because the hours are more flexible and I don't think that makes their hustle any less admirable (possibly even more so!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457213 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 16:28:26 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2457213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>WAH definitely doesn't get the same respect as WOH from people that are not too familiar with what the actual work entails. Yes, there's flexibility to answer your front door when a package is delivered, but there are meetings (conf calls) and EOD deadlines too. I wouldn't be able to care for a child or entertain a houseguest on my home office days.</p> <p>Often right at 5 pm I'm not just ready to leave the house and do something because I worked all day. So wether I WAH or WOH (with a commute) I can easily see not want to do things on a weeknight or holding my weekends hostage for family time.</p> <p>ETA: I'd imagine a SAH parent would want some time to decompress too. Isn't everybody tired at the end of the day? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457195 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 16:16:38 +0000 mrbee 2457195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've done both, and WOH has its own unique challenges: the commute, the extra stress of getting to dropoff early and pickups on time, and the lack of flexibility to your schedule.</p> <p>WAH has a lot of unique challenges as well, like creating boundaries between home/work, maintaining high levels of motivation and productivity, and the lack of understanding from others (including my own kids!).</p> <p>All in all though, the flexibility was a huge perk for WAH. A lot of people don't understand how WAH works and make comments, but I usually try to focus on my own perks and not their perceptions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457182 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 16:04:57 +0000 Modern Daisy 2457182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've done both and agree that when you are home you still need childcare and have to take the job seriously, but you have WAY more flexibility for non-work things in general when you are at a home office vs. a corporate office. Even though I have office IM so my boss can see when I'm not at my computer, I can still run over to daycare for a class party or to drop something off. And this morning I forgot to put our dinner in the crock pot - too bad because I have an hour commute so we will be ordering takeout. If I was home I could take 3 minutes to throw the ingredients in and turn it on. Plus we are having construction done to our house and the builder always needs to meet with us to talk about stuff - I actually have to use vacation time to do this because it means I have to get to work late. If I was home I could just come outside of the office for 5 minutes at any time and have a quick convo. So overall I think wfh is much more flexible and family friendly but sadly my industry is run by men with sah wives so it's not possible for me anymore! (I switched careers). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457178 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:59:24 +0000 regberadaisy 2457178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I use "WOH ft" a lot, and I use it more as to mean working a full times on outside of the home that is not my children. Because we all know, SAH is a job too! ;) in my mind it's more working a job that's not taking care of my child versus SAH where I'm taking care of my child.</p> <p>Let's be honest, there are perks to all 3 situations. To me the ideal scenario is PT in office and Pt at home. :P</p> <p>@Freckles: I read an article recently that WAH is a highly coveted perk these days. A lot of big companies are actually moving that way. In that aiming for more WAH employees versus in office employees. Financially it makes a lot of sense for them! Companies like Apple and Autodesk come to mind immediately for me.</p> <p><a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2016/01/27/work-from-home-in-2016-the-top-100-companies-for-remote-jobs/#bfd9fe536f04" rel="nofollow">http://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2016/01/27/work-from-home-in-2016-the-top-100-companies-for-remote-jobs/#bfd9fe536f04</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457174 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:55:08 +0000 daniellemybelle 2457174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read all of the comments but when I see people say on HB, "I WOH so XYZ," I think they are using that as a substitute for saying, "I work," just because that is the term used here for working parents. I think it's also because the phrase "work outside the home" is used to avoid suggesting that SAHMs don't work.</p> <p>I don't think it is meant as a slight against WAHMs or intended to not be inclusive. I think most women on HB are understanding that if you work, at home or not, it is not the same as being a SAHM. I WAH very part time, but I call myself a SAHM because it is so different from when I was a WAHM 30+ hours per week and LO was in daycare/Grandma-care so I could work.</p> <p>However, I do see outside of HB some misunderstanding... like my cousin had a 9-5 home office job where she didn't see her son except for her 30 minute lunch break. It was more structured than many office jobs because it was a call center type role. Still, when she would post about missing her son or struggling with work-life balance on FB, people would comment, "Don't you work from home?" Grr.</p> <p>ETA: I agree with others that it IS hard when women like me who work very part time and don't need childcare call themselves WAHMs with no caveats. But I think anyone that works from home in a capacity where they need regular childcare is in the same "category" as a WOHM. Honestly, I think the need for childcare is the big distinction in most people's minds (here at least) for whether or not you are a "legitimate" working mom or you just have a side gig.</p> <p>I have no problem saying I'm a SAHM with a side gig :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457172 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:49:47 +0000 Freckles 2457172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are some jobs where office presence is needed. I go into the office once a week at most but I work in a company where they are trying to get the majority of their workers telecommuting. So many senior work from home so I don't see it as a big deal. Half the people I work with are in a different time zone so it has never been a big deal.</p> <p>I have never watched tv while working from home. Sometimes work is so crazy that I'm still in my PJs when DH gets home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457160 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:42:30 +0000 agold 2457160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: If I end up with the ability to work from home any amount of days once I have a baby, then I wouldn't care at all about what anything thought of me or the level of respect I felt they were giving me. I'd just be so excited that I figured out a way to work from home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457153 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:39:24 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2457153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I see this too and I don't get it. I SAH and there's no way I could do a FT job at home with no child care. Not only would it be difficult for me but it would be totally unfair to the kids. I think a lot of people think of those pyramid schemes when they hear WAH. It's hard to picture if you haven't done it or had someone close to you do it. I totally respect WAHPs though. I SAH and one of the main reasons outside of career/income that I want to return to the work force is for the social aspect of it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-parents-who-wah-get-the-same-level-of-respect-as-woh-parents/page/2#post-2457141 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:34:00 +0000 winniebee 2457141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: you're right, I do think I'm being overly sensitive here. I just was also curious how others felt about it. </p>