Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 01:56:27 +0000 PurpleUnicorn on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-846392 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 21:24:14 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 846392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ we've only been married 2 years and the first year was easy i thought. this second year since being pregnant and having a kid has been harder than i thought, but i think it will get better as we adjust more. And it's not terrible, i just thought having a baby would not affect our marriage at all but it does. googly-eyes on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-846136 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 20:08:14 +0000 googly-eyes 846136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, I'd say that marriage-wise, it was. This past year has been much harder for me personally but our first year of marriage dh was applying for his current job (and it's a looong process) and we quit our old jobs and moved thousands of miles away, and dh's dad was ill and died. mamabolt on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-846022 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:32:21 +0000 mamabolt 846022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope, our first year was great. Like others said, our first year after baby arrived was definitely the hardest. Sadieloo on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-845994 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:22:45 +0000 Sadieloo 845994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Congrats on making it through the first year! Our first year o f marriage was tough (as was the second) but mostly because of the toll of having to care for my father-in-law who was suffering from a terminal illness and also my mother-in-laws emotional, financial and physical well being. Looking back, I can now see the silver lining and how it made our relationship that much stronger. Hopefully our first year with a baby (due in Oct) will be bliss :) some sarcasm there. I know it ill be hard! winniebee on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-845976 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:16:42 +0000 winniebee 845976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Happy Anniversary! No, the first year was actually great. The first year after having a child was the hardest for us so far. cascademom on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-845963 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:11:42 +0000 cascademom 845963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pen: Yep, this is us exactly. Our third year of marriage has been the hardest with the change of baby. Our second year of marriage was the start of it getting harder with pregnancy and all that comes along with it. I'm hoping that our fourth year of marriage will be better and stronger. littlek on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-845938 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 18:56:32 +0000 littlek 845938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Happy Anniversary!!! Our first year was lots of fun. We had a very rough patch before we got married. skibobrown on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-845928 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 18:50:20 +0000 skibobrown 845928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No, but we also lived together before we got married. I have other friends who moved in together just after their weddings, and it was a much more difficult transition for them. For us the hardest year so far is definitely the first year post baby. I think it's really important to be honest and keep communicating throughout. Yeah, it's been hard for us, but we talk about it a lot, so we understand that we're both struggling a bit right now. HLK208 on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-845914 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 18:46:29 +0000 HLK208 845914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Not for us...but we had been through quite a bit before getting married. looch on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-843944 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 06:08:01 +0000 looch 843944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Looking back, no. I mean, I moved internationally and started a new job, but by far the toughtest year was the year our son was born. erinpye on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-843898 Mon, 10 Jun 2013 02:08:08 +0000 erinpye 843898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Not hard in the least, but the first year of having a baby (second year of our marriage) was the hardest year of my life, and extremely hard on our marriage. MrsH on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-843431 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 18:07:49 +0000 MrsH 843431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ So far all of our years have been hard :(my dad passed away, my husband's company was bought out, we had a m/c and so on....we've gotten through it well but we have certainly had more than our fair share of stressors. Mrs. Jacks on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-843394 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 17:41:44 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 843394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think the first year was super easy (no babies!), but each subsequent year has been really fun too! GrapeCrush on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-843383 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 17:33:21 +0000 GrapeCrush 843383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No, I feel the 2nd year has been more difficult. But that I feel is because were adjusting to having a child(DS was born almost a month before our 1 year anniversary) avivoca on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest/page/2#post-843302 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 16:16:27 +0000 avivoca 843302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @rahlyrah: Happy Anniversary! Mrs. High Heels on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843300 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 16:13:37 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 843300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! no, it was a wonderful year for us! we didn't live together, but we were friends for a long time, then dated for 1.5 years so we knew each other really well and there wasn't anything unexpected or surprising when we moved in together. so far i don't think any year has been really hard on us (knock on wood!!), but it did get harder after having our first... we try to be really intentional about making quality time for each other, and not just surviving side by side as roommates. we're going on 4 years this november! Cherrybee on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843264 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 15:37:39 +0000 Cherrybee 843264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Our first year of marriage was really, really tough. We had lived together for 3 yrs before getting married but we bought our first property and both started part time Uni courses (whilst working full time) just weeks before the wedding. DH doesn't handle stress well at all and I saw a different side to him on the run up to the wedding, a side I have learned to understand and deal with but at the time I found it hard to compute (where has my nice, calm boyfriend gone??). The stress also triggered his psoriatic arthritis (for the first time) and so our first year was spent with him unable to do the things he used to, being super grumpy and lying in bed all day - and me not understanding how much pain he was really in and why. Just a few weeks in, devastated that my imagined "happy ever after" was far from the ideal I had imagined, I plummeted into depression. I spent a lot of time crying - which made DH frustrated and more stressy. But its a cycle with DH, the more stressed he is, the worse his pain gets - so we were trapped in a seemingly endless cycle. The turning came point 6 months in, when he finally got a diagnosis. We started TTC because the hefty meds he will need long term to treat his condition cause birth defects.... and we fell pregnant late last year. Since being on his meds, the pain is gradually reducing and Im getting my old DH back. I really missed him. Things are so good right now!! We are both really looking forward to being parents but I am worried - if buying a house and planning a wedding can make him so ill, I dread to think what having a LO will do. But that's marriage, right? Ups and downs? Wow, I've just offloaded that, huh?! Ra on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843238 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 14:56:32 +0000 Ra 843238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @evansjamie: Happy Anniversary to YOU! Ra on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843235 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 14:54:52 +0000 Ra 843235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thanks everyone! I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories. People don't generally talk about how rough a LO can be on your marriage IRL. I suppose it is just too private/embarrassing. I love how open and honest everyone is on this site. It helps to go into this major life change with realistic expectations. I know it is going to be extremely difficult. It is so nice to hear that so many of you pulled through it or, at the very least, are currently surviving through the thick of it. You ladies are such an inspiration! deerylou on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843203 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 14:03:15 +0000 deerylou 843203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We got pregnant in the midst of wedding planning, so we quickly decided to scale everything down, and just get married. I was almost four months along at our wedding, and we're now expecting LO in just a few weeks. We're still in the first half of our first year of marriage, and it's definitely been an adventure of ups and downs. We've had to quickly adapt to the many emotional, physical, financial, and social changes that bombarded us - many of which we definitely weren't planning on for another year or two. The money I had hoped to spend on spontaneous weekend getaways and fun new furniture is now being redirected towards medical bills, extra savings, and baby gear. There's been times when I find myself mourning the lifestyle we we were going to have this first year, alone, as newlyweds. However, I try my best to remain positive, and remember that we can still have an amazing life together, just with a little one in tow. I know it's only going to get more challenging once DD is here, but such is life. Happy Anniversary to you two! Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843201 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 14:01:36 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 843201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Happy Anniversary! The first year was a breeze for us as well, but that's probably because we didn't live together. Once we moved in together in the middle of our second year there was a bit of an adjustment period. Marriage has not been hard yet. Knock on wood. heffalump on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843155 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 13:28:03 +0000 heffalump 843155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm 100% sure it was easy for us because we lived together first. Moving in was hard for us. It was hard in general because dh had to get a colostomy and I had a miscarriage.... But it wasn't hard on our relationship. keiki_mama on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843153 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 13:26:39 +0000 keiki_mama 843153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No, the first year of marriage was the best! DH and I had lived together for years before that so it really wasn't any different. We continued to date, traveled, and got pregnant. The second year of marriage we had LO and I went through PPD so it made things interesting. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY <3 <3 <3 lemondrop on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843149 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 13:23:33 +0000 lemondrop 843149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope, it was a breeze! We already lived together, we had the newlywed excuse, only had to share each other with work, both had steady jobs, yes we had fertility issues, but we were a stronger bond being married. I hate to say this with where you are at, but the first year of having a baby was the hardest. That said, I've never loved and appreciated my husband more than I do now that we have a little guy. Some days are rough though, you are both tired, feeling under appreciated and using kind words and communicating is hard- but it bonds you even more. beachbee on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843137 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 13:17:21 +0000 beachbee 843137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Happy Anniversary!! Our first year was actually pretty easy. We had lived together for about 2 1/2 years prior to getting married. We also already joined our bank accounts, so my money was his and vice versa before our wedding. I think a lot of the normal logistics transition had already been done which made it easier. We're in our 7th year of marriage right now and honestly it has been the toughest. It's also the first year we've had LO and we've been through some major family tragedies, so this year has been stressful, emotional, etc. shopaholic on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843126 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 13:07:55 +0000 shopaholic 843126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Happy Anniversary! Always heard that and didn't think so either! So far it hasn't been too hard. Maybe just right now with a new baby, but still not as tough as expected. Weagle on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843124 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 13:06:43 +0000 Weagle 843124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Our first year was easy. LO came on our second year, and things got tougher. Mrs. Washi Tape on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843119 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 13:04:17 +0000 Mrs. Washi Tape 843119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Like many of you, our first year was really easy. (We did not live together before marriage). We have been married almost nine years now and for us the hardest year was our seventh year. I think it mostly just depends on your life circumstances. Certain things definitely make it harder. Though we always joke that we do everything backwards. Our engagement was really hard because we were long distance but marriage was easy. And then we had a really hard time in our marriage while I was pregnant but while going through the newborn/little baby stage, things have been fantastic. petunia354 on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843090 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 12:45:55 +0000 petunia354 843090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The first year wasn't the hardest, the second year has been harder. That's not to say that the first year wasn't difficult though. My brother went through a divorce just a month or 2 after I got married, my grandmother became very ill, there were 2 deaths in DH's family and then DH lost his job. My Dad hired him shortly thereafter so working together was another adjustment! But year 2, between a high risk pregnancy, bedrest for 3 months and having a late preterm infant has definitely been the toughest! But we are getting through the fog of having a newborn and seeing him be the amazing father I always knew he would be makes it all worth it :) lomom on "Do you think the first year of marriage was the hardest?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-the-first-year-of-marriage-was-the-hardest#post-843038 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 12:09:18 +0000 lomom 843038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pen: this, exactly. The first year was fine, though not much different from dating since we'd been together 3 years when we got married and had lived together for 2.5 years and had been living in the house we bought together for 2, at the time we got married. But the past 8 weeks since having LO have been so hard. LO was a preemie and I EP'd for 6 weeks and we had massive blowouts over him pouring breastmilk down the drain, over him not wanting to hang out with LO, over him not ever doing night feedings, etc. When we did our pre-cana through the church before getting married, one of the speakers said they'd been married a dozen times. We all gasped, since in the Catholic Church, it's pretty hard to get divorced and remarried in the church and we were shocked that this would be the person they'd have teaching a marriage prep class. Well, the speaker continued, saying that he'd married the same woman over and over again, first as a pair of 18 year olds, again as they became parents, etc. the idea being that you and your spouse change over the years and you "remarry" them over and over again as you both adjust to new things in life.