https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 17:01:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2452291 Sat, 06 Feb 2016 20:47:45 +0000 avivoca 2452291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I could be. I really enjoyed my time home with her during my maternity leave and I enjoy the days I have home with her. It's nice to not have to rush and have unscheduled time. I'm not very social though, so it would be hard for me to initiate play dates and put us out there, especially now that she's a toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2452282 Sat, 06 Feb 2016 20:36:57 +0000 matador84 2452282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I stay at home in the summers and breaks with my kids and we have fun. I don't like the social aspect of staying at home, but we do crafts and outings and I love spending quality time with them--not the rush, rush of the working part of my days. I try and enjoy the little things just like going to the grocery store on a Tuesday afternoon and cooking things day to day and not having to meal plan! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2452216 Sat, 06 Feb 2016 18:58:47 +0000 Finfan 2452216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved being a temporary SAHM during my recent maternity leave. DH is a SAHD so we were all 4 of us home together and it was amazing. I had hoarded enough PTO for 12 weeks' off and I will always treasure the memories of that time. </p> <p>That said--- if I was the solo SAHP 24/7, it would not be good for me mentally. I also love my job and my kids can come visit any time. I think I would be able to be a SAHM and it would probably run smoothly but would be bad for my mental health. DH does a great job and he enjoys it but he also has the opportunity to do FT temp work for a month each fall and I think that saves his sanity a bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2451357 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 16:02:46 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2451357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe in some ways, but not unless I got my PPD/PMDD completely under control. Honestly, I feel pretty lazy when I'm home so all I want to do is relax, which doesn't make for very productive or fun days. </p> <p>I do think that it would be better for me in one way, and that's to not always have to be rushing. Every morning, it's a rush to get ready, get the kids fed and out the door... just to repeat it at night. It makes me cranky and snappy with them. If that is taken out of the equation, I think it would help make me be a more patient mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2451214 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 14:25:40 +0000 JenGirl 2451214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I'd be a good full time SAHM. I really enjoy my job and would miss it. Plus I'm not great at domestic stuff. Plus I think I'd get stir crazy without adult interaction. Plus, I think I'm going to find it exhausting to parent a toddler (it's hard enough at 5 months). </p> <p>That being said, I'm pretty excited about the prospect of cutting back to a 4 day work week. I think having one day per week home with my son will be great. We can get some bonding time and I can have time to do stuff around the house and errands and such. Plus, hopefully, some relaxing time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450962 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 11:51:32 +0000 Anagram 2450962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the same kind of parent whether I'm SAH on my summer breaks or WAHM the rest of the year. I think I'm a better (well, less stressed) wife when I'm on summer break, though...or maybe it's just that there's less strain on each of us compared to when I'm working, where we're constantly spinning plates, hoping they don't all come crashing down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450894 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 11:19:22 +0000 LovelyPlum 2450894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: it makes me really sad to say this, but I would be terribly unhappy at home. It almost sends me into a panic to think about me-just me-being responsible for her all day, every day. I don't think I'm mentally or emotionally capable of that, to tell you the truth. But when I am home with her for a few hours, things are much better. I know this is my anxiety talking, and I'm working to get it under control. But I also know that since I can identify my own weaknesses, I need to do whatever I can to overcome them. And for us, that means sending her to a school she loves so we can both be happy and I can know that she is well looked-after without my own issues getting in the way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450844 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 10:49:41 +0000 SweetiePie 2450844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean, I'm not perfect. I could criticize myself all day. But my son is happy, I'm happy, my husband is happy, so I guess I'm doing something right.<br /> I get a break twice a week. If I didn't, it might be a different story! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450776 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 10:06:23 +0000 Cherrybee 2450776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: That's a really interesting point. I think most people are answering based on whether they think they could provide the right experiences etc. Of course, that is very much based on what the individual believes "good" looks like. I, on the other hand, answered based on whether I would enjoy it and be happy in the role. I guess that's what I believe"good" looks like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450771 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 10:05:22 +0000 Eko 2450771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Reading all these responses is kind of making me sad. I think someone is only considered a bad mom if they are not actually being a parent and neglecting their kids. I doubt any of the bees are like this. </p> <p>Do you love your children and raise them to be respectful human beings? Then I would say everyone is a good mom. There is no such thing doing everything 100%...unless you pay someone to help you do that. </p> <p>I do not think I would be a bad stay at home mom. I just know it is not for me and is not what is best for my family.</p> <p>Everyone should be a little kinder to themselves. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450727 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 09:41:31 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2450727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really because my idea of a SAHP is childcare provider and household manager - the DIY kind. It's that latter part I'd fail at. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450694 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 09:25:09 +0000 hilsy85 2450694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: totally agree. I think there is no "ideal" for being a SAH parent...if the kids are loved, and you are enjoying it, and you're all having fun at least 51% of the time, then you're doing it right. </p> <p>I of course stress about whether I'm doing enough "enriching" activities with LO, or engaging him enough, or whether I am present enough in each and every moment. But honestly, thinking about next year when he will be in school 9-3pm, and I will have so much less time with him than I do now--it makes me treasure this opportunity to be at home with him, even if it's just watching him race his cars around the room for the millionth time. Because soon enough, he'll be a surly teenager and won't want anything to do with me :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450602 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 08:39:52 +0000 JerricaBenton 2450602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like to think that I am. I feel like as LO gets older I get better because we can cook and craft and she can tell me what she wants lol. I tend to be more introverted but LO loves to be out in the world so we do lots of classes and something as simple as a Starbucks date can turn an afternoon around. I think setting our own schedule definitely suits me. I've also become better about relinquishing a little control and letting her hang out at the grandparents house for a few hours every once in a while and it helps us both to get a break. I think it's been good to cut myself some slack and tell myself this is important and wonderful but difficult too and it's ok to need a break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450581 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 08:29:53 +0000 ineebee 2450581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 10mo, and I love it. Am I a "good" SAHM? I don't know what that means exactly, but I'm enjoying it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450578 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 08:28:55 +0000 Littlebit 2450578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No - I'm definitely a better mother when I work. My house may not be as clean and our meals aren't great...but for me personally, I need to be out of the house with other adults. When I am with my son I'm able to be 100% and more engaged because of the time I've had away. </p> <p>The perfect scenario would be working part time but I don't think we could make that work financially and my work wouldn't be ok with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450568 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 08:19:11 +0000 looch 2450568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is a great discussion, but one thing keeps coming up in my mind, and that's what we all consider a "good SAHP" to be. I am sure it's different for all of us, but a lot of what I was reacting to when I was being critical of myself was that I wasn't doing enough. In my mind, I kind of had it set up that I should have a full Montessori style area, with work set up on trays, etc and I never could execute on it because of my anxiety and worry about not doing it well enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450469 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 06:37:20 +0000 Cherrybee 2450469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be a terrible SAHP..... but Im also a terrible WOHP. :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450413 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 03:24:35 +0000 lamariniere 2450413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did a combo of SAH/WAH for a long time. I think I could be a good SAHM if I could completely focus on the children instead of having to always stress about work on the back burner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp/page/2#post-2450359 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 00:03:30 +0000 daniellemybelle 2450359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I really identify with everything you said. Especially the privilege of being the one to spend time with her during the day. Someone has to do it and I'm glad it's my job. Best job I've ever had. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450349 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 23:46:27 +0000 Greentea 2450349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love being with LO. I need breaks like anyone, but there are things I love- like no rigid schedule, letting her wake naturally in the morning and seeing her cute and happy waking up, then snuggling (basically her rolling around while I tickle her), and these moments are so.so.dear. I am extremely independent and free spirited, so in some ways it fits me very well. I also don't overwhelm myself with classes and play dates, that's just not my style. I think it is important to remember SAH doesn't have to look a certain way. </p> <p>I was just reading about how mothers (and fathers! But apparently women spend the most) spend more time with their children now than in the 50s, when housework was the main priority (even the terms have changed, once "homemaker," now SAHP- to reflect that). Modern mothers have messier homes and spend more time with their children. I don't add housework into my determination of how "good" a parent is, that's for sure!</p> <p>Also, it fits with my idea of childhood- that it should preferably be a time that is somewhat free, before the rest of your life when you have to do... you know! I also love seeing her grow and change, and although I am not perfect, I love the privilege of being the one to spend time with her right now. Everything I put into her I get back, so I feel in this way, being with her and thereby having (hopefully!) positive influence on her, is good for me as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450295 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 23:05:10 +0000 LovelyPlum 2450295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh goodness, staying at home is so not good for me. It triggers my anxiety and panic and I tend to shut down. Even being at home on nights when I solo parent can be a challenge. LO being in a daycare that we love is by far the best thing for our family. She gets to go somewhere where they love her and can look out for her first of all. And I don't have to make myself unhealthy by worrying to death about how we're going to survive until Daddy's off work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450286 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 22:55:07 +0000 Kemma 2450286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I am a good SAHM and it certainly is what works best for our family. One of the biggest compliments I've ever received was an Aunt telling her daughter that she wishes she was a child at my house, being a SAHM can be a pretty thankless job and hearing what she said gave me the warm fuzzies :happy: </p> <p>I was never that interested in pursuing a career but as we start to contemplate a third baby I'm starting to think that perhaps motherhood might be "calling"... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450181 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:55:47 +0000 skipper2010 2450181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: lol!!!!</p> <p>I stay at home part time and that is perfect for me. I like working and having some adult interaction. Some days I love staying at home, and other days it's really really hard. I try to get the kids out as much as possible because that makes a better day for all of us. I really give props to the moms who stay at home full time because it's not easy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450130 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:40:22 +0000 twodoghouse 2450130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: You're too sweet. Thank you, friend. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450096 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:25:33 +0000 sandy 2450096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: ok, I'm seriously thinking people are too hard on themselves here! You are such a great SAHP! You have twins and you still do so many fun activities with them, go on tons of play dates, and do so much with them! I didn't cook with C until she was much older and I already see you on IG letting your twins help you in the kitchen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450093 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:23:56 +0000 lovehoneybee 2450093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I stayed home with E for 19 months. We were very isolated...I had no friends where we lived, and there was really not much to do in our town (no classes or groups or anything). I struggled to keep him entertained and learning. I was really unhappy, and I didn't feel like I was doing my best by him. </p> <p>Going back to work and putting him in daycare was honestly the best thing for both of us. He gets the social interaction and early education I struggled to give him, and I feel fulfilled. I didn't realize how depressed I was. </p> <p>That said, I'm going back to work next week, only 8 weeks after having G, and I'm devastated. I'm trying not to think about it too hard or I'll cry. I still think we'll all thrive more with me working, but I hate that I can't afford to take a longer maternity leave. (She'll be with my mom, so there's that at least). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450090 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:21:50 +0000 sunny 2450090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: You make such a good point!</p> <p>I really enjoyed it when LO was very young and I think I was ok at it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450085 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:19:04 +0000 sandy 2450085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: ummmm - you are doing amazing- your house is clean (and well decorated!), your girls are kind/sweet/happy, and you have fun and enjoy life to the fullest! And you also have a job - so by any standard you are doing awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450080 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:15:46 +0000 sandy 2450080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: I agree with pp that it's not whether you are a good SAHP - you ARE an amazing parent - it's whether it's a good fit for you and makes you happy/fulfilled and brings you joy in your day to day life. It could be a hard season right now or it may be that you're ready for something beyond staying at home full time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-think-you-make-a-good-sahp#post-2450075 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 21:10:37 +0000 loveisstrange 2450075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>HA. Noooope. Being a SAHM made me a bitch. </p>