https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 31 May 2026 12:47:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-792060 Fri, 17 May 2013 17:25:59 +0000 Smurfette 792060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do send my parents more pictures. But I talk to my Mom just about every day. I texted pictures to SMIL once a week. But that is more then DH does, he leaves it to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-792051 Fri, 17 May 2013 17:22:20 +0000 Mrs. Pen 792051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DigAPony: yeah... same here. I never talk to MIL, DH does. So when she would call she'd ask how I was doing/how baby was and he'd just say "good" and leave it at that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-792050 Fri, 17 May 2013 17:21:33 +0000 Mrs. Pen 792050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely not equal and I'm okay with that and see no problem with it.</p> <p>I am really close to my family and naturally talk to them a lot where as being far from DH's family, he only talks to them on occasion. My family definitely knew we were pregnant, having a boy and the name far before they did.</p> <p>But then again they didn't try to involve themselves as much as my family does... perhaps because they are long-distance..</p> <p>Anyway - I see no issue with it and they haven't appeared to take offense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-792038 Fri, 17 May 2013 17:08:03 +0000 DigAPony 792038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm currently pregnant and as far as sharing info goes, my parents definitely know more than my in-laws simply because I'm really close with my mom and we talk/email frequently and then she shares with my dad. My husband talks to his mom but not as frequently, and she's just not as interested in the same kinds of things as my mom is. Plus my husband isn't big on details and I tell my mom every little thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-792020 Fri, 17 May 2013 16:49:31 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 792020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's somewhat equal. We tell both families the "big stuff" on the same timeline, but day-to-day it's different. I talk to my parents/sister multiple times a week and make a point to Skype with them every Sunday. I don't initiate Skype calls with my MIL, because I don't like the way she acts during them (although we never deny her a call; I just make sure I'm not around). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791927 Fri, 17 May 2013 15:54:42 +0000 JerricaBenton 791927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not so much. My family is just around the corner and we talk all the time and see them at least a few times a week so they know all about everything that's going on with LO. My in-laws are far away and we, my husband included, just aren't that close to them. I send my mom pictures almost every day but the times I've sent pictures to my MIL she didn't respond so I stopped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791899 Fri, 17 May 2013 15:37:39 +0000 heffalump 791899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only info that was ever kept from one set of parents was when DH proposed to me, he didn't ask/tell my parents first because he knows they can't keep a secret. </p> <p>Other than that, we're both very close with our parents so we see and talk to them regularly. I think I'm more likely to just come out and tell my mom things, and his mom will ask me what's going on so I still tell her. But usually DH will tell her first anyway, they're very close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791813 Fri, 17 May 2013 14:57:51 +0000 babynumber1 791813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We make a huge effort to be fair to both sets of grandparents. We live close to both sets and see them often, so it is pretty easy for us. </p> <p>My brother's wife is not fair with it at all. She uses my mom for her convience and her mom gets all the "fun" time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791672 Fri, 17 May 2013 14:04:32 +0000 lomom 791672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No.</p> <p>I talk to my mom daily and DH talks to him mom yearly. I gave up trying to force interactions between him and his family. It's not that they don't get along, DH just isn't big on communication. </p> <p>I tried at first, to keep his mom equally informed and send her tons of pictures but I haven't kept that up. I kind of feel like if its not important to DH, then I'm not going to make it my responsibility. I don't want to be the middleman. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791639 Fri, 17 May 2013 13:58:06 +0000 allison 791639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I talk to members of my family mayyybe 1x a month? Probably less than that. DH talks/texts with his mom daily. So my ILs definitely know more, but it's because they ask. We have a private DB folder for photos and videos shared with everyone, but my family "forgets" about it, and his family checks it daily. Anyone sensing a theme?</p> <p>LO is also the first grandchild on my husband's side, but 5th on mine. So I'm sure that makes a big difference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791610 Fri, 17 May 2013 13:52:17 +0000 rachiecakes 791610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely not. DH only has his mother and she's really odd and mean to DH. I never ever want DS to be subject to the same treatment so we keep our distance a lot of the time and have a completely different relationship with her than my parents, who are totally hands-on loving grandparents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791585 Fri, 17 May 2013 13:47:52 +0000 fancyfunction 791585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I wouldn't say it's intentional but I talk to my parents everyday and my husband talks to his mom about once a week. They both see her about once a week though - but I overshare with my parents and MIL not so much. My parents also knew her name before she was born but that's b/c I had already told them before my husband said he didn't want anyone to know. I figured he'd want to tell his immediate family, so that's a secret my parents and I had to keep. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791579 Fri, 17 May 2013 13:47:23 +0000 Anagram 791579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's "fair", but it's different. I love my family and we all get along, but we are not the talk-every-day type of family. Even my mom and I only talk 1-2 times a week.</p> <p>DH on the other hand, talks to his parents every day, sometimes multple times a day. So his family probably tends to learn minute details first, like what we did that day.</p> <p>But big things--we tell both of them. If I print a picture for his parents, I print one for my mom too. Or if I want to do something for my mom for Mother's Day, I make sure we do the same for his mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791546 Fri, 17 May 2013 13:38:11 +0000 Alivoo01 791546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pretty fair about sharing equal amount of information with both sides of the family. I love my in-laws so no need to withhold information. If I don't want them sharing the information, I let them know and tell the hubby to reiterate that fact. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791473 Fri, 17 May 2013 13:14:14 +0000 littlek 791473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: Same!</p> <p>I talk to my mom almost everyday and they visit every few months, so they know LO much better than DHs family. But it's their choice not to call or visit as much as my family, so I don't feel bad about it. DH's father hasn't even seen LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791405 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:56:21 +0000 MediaNaranja 791405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't have LOs (or are even TTC) yet, but it will not be equal. DH's side of the family lives quite far away, and I don't think we'll be able to visit each year. Since I am quite close with my parents, they will have more involvement in our lives.</p> <p>TBH, I've seen the way his family has raised children and they are all little terrors so it's probably better they will be minimally involved, lol.</p> <p>They are sweet people, and I like them a lot, but don't care to share any of their child rearing techniques. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791396 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:53:18 +0000 Boheme 791396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never thought about it before, but my family gets way more information just because I talk to them so often. DH and I both shy away from telling MIL and FIL things because they are such worriers and can also be really critical. So they find things out only on a need-to-know basis. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791390 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:50:29 +0000 littlebug 791390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's not exactly intentional, but my family (mom and sister, especially) know a lot more. I am very close with them, and we text/email/call frequently. I speak to my dad once a week. Hubs speaks to his parents once a week, but he's a boy, so he shares different things than I do. My MIL sometimes texts me but I'll be honest and say that I don't often text her back. She is nosy and every time I tell her something she has some kind of annoying retort for it. So I prefer to just let Hubs handle that communication. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791389 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:50:11 +0000 brownie 791389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, but then his family and my family don't treat us equally. If his family wanted a relationship we would reciprocate but they have to try first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791381 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:46:54 +0000 Weagle 791381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's not intentional, but my parents know a lot more because I'm closer to them. We talk several times a week. For the most part, DH is responsible for relaying information to his parents, and he just doesn't talk to them as frequently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791377 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:46:00 +0000 MamaMoose 791377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No things aren't exactly equal between sides. For example we have left LO alone with my parents for extended periods of time and trust them completely. We haven't ever left her alone with my in laws and probably never will because they both smoke and we don't trust them to follow the rules we have about protecting her from their smoking. But as far as information we don't keep things from one side and tell the other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791365 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:43:43 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 791365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really think about it in this way, but I guess we do keep it fair. I never keep anything from one side of the family, but since I'm closer to my mom, she knows more (and she takes care of Liam once a week). My mom and stepdad also live very close to us and my ILs live a couple hours away, so we don't see them as often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791335 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:37:39 +0000 regberadaisy 791335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, absolutely. Even when we told of our BFP we called everyone in the same day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791330 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:36:28 +0000 oliviaoblivia 791330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to keep things fair. My side did know DD's name before she was born but only because I told my grandfather on his death bed and he told my grandma and then everyone knew. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-treat-his-family-the-same-as-your-family-when-it-comes-to-your-lo#post-791322 Fri, 17 May 2013 12:33:44 +0000 littlepenguin 791322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I noticed a post the other day about keeping the baby's name a secret from one family while the other family was told; which got me thinking about our own family dynamics.</p> <p>Throughout the pregnancy I think my mom knew more about what was going on because we talked on a regular basis. My in-laws weren't excluded from information but were usually told via my husband and not as frequently. I would never withhold important information like the name or gender etc from just one side.</p> <p>Now that my DS is here, I really try to keep things fair between my family and my in-laws. My parents still talk to me more frequently, but they do live significantly further away than my in-laws. If my in-laws called I would still share important firsts and milestones with them. Even with picture sharing I keep it even, I made a secret Facebook album that they both have access to, so therefore if they don't see photos it's due to their lack of effort not any sub/conscious intentions on my part. </p> <p>So how about you, do you try to keep things fair between the two families or are there times you favor one side more than the other? </p>