https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 20:13:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-538625 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 10:20:13 +0000 littlek 538625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are going through this, hugs! I think he should definitely attend a baby care class. Neither DH or I have baby experience and it really helped us, eventhough some of the problems seem to be common sense, you should never leave a baby unattended on the couch or changing table. You mentioned he has sleep issues, is this some of the reason for the problem? Maybe he should see a doctor about his insomnia? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-538572 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 10:09:17 +0000 Alivoo01 538572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubby loves kids and has moments with them where I'm like OMG! WTF babe?! Seriously?! But he realizes the issue after I bring it to his attention. I'd trust the hubby with our LO, but I'd feel better reiterating specific instructions just to give myself a peace of mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-538113 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 07:43:27 +0000 Dandelion 538113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78H20: Sounds like your DH might be having a little trouble bonding with the baby. Try to encourage him when he's doing the right thing and for the time being just bring LO to the store with you when you need to run out. </p> <p>Maybe the fact that you are looking into alternatives for childcare would encourage him to step up and understand. Some men just don't get it, though...I know how frustrating that is. I have a ton of confidence in my hubby for when this baby comes, because I've seen how well he takes care of me and my son, and even our pets...but I still don't trust my son's dad (who is not my husband) and my son is 5 now. But, at least now my son can advocate for himself. I didn't let my ex take my son for a weekend until he was almost 2.</p> <p>Good luck! It'll soak in eventually with your husband. Just give it time. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-538009 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 00:23:02 +0000 travelgirl1 538009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: these things are FAR more upsetting for you than her, and she got what she wanted and needed as soon as you came home. I hate seeing my LO upset more than anything in the world, but she always starts smiling again way before I do :)Try not to beat yourself up about it, you didn't do anything wrong, and you're a great mum to be thinking about alternative childcare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-537978 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 00:00:59 +0000 78h2o 537978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>also, this happened earlier in the night... I was away from 6:45-7:45. :(</p> <p>@travelgirl1: thanks. yeah, I am pretty upset, but you're right, she'll forget it. She stopped crying pretty much as soon as I picked her up. She just seemed so sad though and was so soaked. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-537971 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 23:54:19 +0000 78h2o 537971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I don't think he ever really woke up fully... he startled awake when I yelled his name and said he was sorry, he didn't mean to fall asleep but he'd gotten up early. He sleepily helped with bringing the groceries in and immediately went back to sleep... He didn't seem very concerned about it, but he wasn't fully awake, so I don't know.. I will talk to him about it tomorrow. </p> <p>@Arden: Yeah, I agree, I can't leave her with him anymore. It was really stupid of me... he seemed awake and was interacting with her when I left, so I thought it would be okay, I'm so glad nothing worse happened. Scary! I don't really have anyone I can leave her with, in terms of friends or family. My family lives out of state and my friends live in the city (30-40 min away - we're in the burbs). I'm interviewing babysitters now and have one that I could call but I'm going to have to figure something out for those evenings when I work late... I have J enrolled at a daycare center, but he needs to pick her up and care for her for 2 hours... which isn't going to work. So, yeah... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-537960 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 23:43:36 +0000 travelgirl1 537960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: big hugs, it's awful to see your baby upset like that. As harsh as it sounds, I think you're right to rethink your options for childcare, at least until you know he can watch her well. What did he say about tonight? Hope you're not too upset, LO will soon forget it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-537957 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 23:41:53 +0000 Arden 537957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: As much as I believe that it's important to trust and share responsibility with your husband, I wouldn't leave her alone with him again until he's taken an infant safety class.<br /> There have been a lot of "whoopsies", and next time it could be serious. He needs to get shaken up a little - this is serious. It's a baby. You can't "play it by ear" when it comes to safety.</p> <p>I'm so sorry you have to go through all this stress! Is there anyone else you can ask to help out and babysit when needed until he is more ready for childcare? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-537949 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 23:34:34 +0000 mrbee 537949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: Oh my!! What did he say? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-537939 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 23:30:44 +0000 78h2o 537939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UGH! I needed to go to the store tonight and my DH said he could watch the baby. I asked if he was awake enough (because he has sleep problems and is tired a lot)... he said he was fine... I said, "Make sure you watch her really carefully, okay? Bottle is in the fridge if she gets hungry, call me if you need anything." I came home an hour later and LO was SCREAMING her head off in the bouncer and DH was completely asleep on the couch. I called his name at least 5x and he didn't stir. I seriously had to yell to wake him up. Poor baby was beside herself, her shirt soaked with tears. :( I feel awful that I left her with him... I know he didn't mean to fall asleep, but it's so scary. :( I wish he'd at least strapped her into the bouncer (since she'd slid down and was kind of falling out of it), but I'm at least glad he didn't have her on the couch.</p> <p>I need to figure out what I'm going to do about work now, because I was planning to go back to work 3 days a week and work until 7:30 two of those days... but I can't trust that he can watch her until I get home. Crap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481672 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:57:17 +0000 MaisyMay 481672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. DH is very much dedicated to our LO and would do anything for her. He is super safety conscious and takes great care of her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481669 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:56:07 +0000 mrskc 481669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think taking an infant safety class is a good idea. I'm sure he'll get better at it with more practice and the more time he spends with LO. </p> <p>I trust DH 100% in taking care of our son. He is so good with him. Though recently I've had to remind him to not leave the baby unattended on the changing table. I found him the other day grabbing something out of another room and I saw the baby on the changing table. I told him it won't be long before he is mobile and one day will roll off of there when you're not watching. He also sometimes leaves the baby in the swing, not strapped it, and is hanging out in another room where he cant see the swing. That bugs me too but I just let him know not to do that. He hasn't done it since I said something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481642 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:38:26 +0000 MrsRcCar 481642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is great with his son. He is extremely careful with him. The only thing I wish he was better at was changing diapers. I think that diapers scare the day lights out of him. I have total confidence in his ability to handle our son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481612 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:22:16 +0000 78h2o 481612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: Aww, your comment made me cry... thanks for understaning, that is exactly how I feel. I may be able to talk to him if he's in a good mood. I'm glad to hear things improved with your husband.</p> <p>@artbee: Lucky! I'd prefer that!</p> <p>@highwire: Glad to hear those classes scared him a bit. Funny thing is that my DH is really overprotective of our dog who he adores... I think he needs more education/bonding with the baby. I have a friend who teaches infant CPR/first aid and she is going to come to our house... so DH will at least get that. I can ask her to try to scare him a little too (about choking hazards, etc.). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481579 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:05:19 +0000 heffalump 481579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh is the opposite. He's pretty paranoid and over protective. I love it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481566 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:01:21 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 481566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: I remember a picture of that ;-)</p> <p>@78h2o: As if you don't have enough stress to worry about as a new mom, you feel like you can never let your guard down with your husband. I'm sure that's so stressful. If you sit down with him and voice your concerns (in a very calm way), do you think he would get defensive about it or would he listen? </p> <p>I know my husband was like @zippylef: said. I couldn't trust him to stay with her 6 months ago. It took some time for him to understand what he needed to do, and to bond with her. We had 9 months to bond before the baby even came, it's a little different with dads. Hopefully he'll come around very soon :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481555 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:59:21 +0000 DillonLion 481555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, but he took a infant safety/CPR class so he had the fear put into him. He has a bit of a short temper but that is my only complaint. He is otherwise wonderful and very careful with her. </p> <p>I hope your DH learns a few tips and you can feel more comfortable with his care of your LO </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481534 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:49:43 +0000 78h2o 481534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: No, there's no way I can get him to read books/emails, unfortunately... though, actually, he is scientifically minded and would read a study on sleep or something like that. That's a good suggestion, thanks. </p> <p>I did get him to watch the "Happiest Baby on the Block" dvd with me... he kept falling asleep during it, but I do see him using the 5 S's, so I know he got something out of it. He does a good job of soothing her, though sometimes he keeps trying the same thing longer than I would before trying a new tactic. Sometimes she'll be wailing her head off and I will have to say, "Baby, try something else." </p> <p>Anyone know if there are any good childcare/safety dvd's? Or online classes? I know my DH will really resist and actual class. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481523 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:43:46 +0000 78h2o 481523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When i heard her fall, I ran downstairs and he was holding her and said, "OMG, I'm a bad dad, she fell off the couch!" He seemed upset, but then when I worried about her throughout the day and considered caling the doctor, he was like, "She's totally fine, relax." He got over it very quickly. He does seem better about leaving her unattended, but I've still seen him do some other iffy things. </p> <p>I know I need to talk to him, but he is pretty sensitive to perceived criticism, so I will have to tread very carefully. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481520 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:42:05 +0000 hilsy85 481520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: would he read child development/baby books? Or even those weekly emails that you can get about where your baby is that week...it might help clue him in to what baby's needs are and how to better interact with LO. If he's a scientific guy, you can also find studies about sleep and stuff. </p> <p>As for safety situations, I would be super paranoid if LO fell/hurt himself on DH"s watch AND DH then didn't step up his awareness (an accident can happen to anyone but I would expect him to be much more aware afterward). Like bath duty--wet babies are super slippery and it is SO easy to let them slip out of your grip or even just lean forward too much and dunk their face in the water. I would say let that be a two person job for at least the first few months...maybe let him bond by being on diaper duty, or baby wearing? </p> <p>And in answer to your question, yes I trust DH with LO, as in I know he would do everything in his power to keep him safe. However, that doesn't stop me from worrying (ex when he baby wears when I'm not around, I worry that he's not going to pay attention to where he's walking and will trip and fall). But pretty sure those are just new mommy worries. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481472 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:27:14 +0000 Mrs. Pen 481472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: same - when one bad thing happens to DS, my hubby instantly becomes really protective!</p> <p>That sounds like a potentially dangerous situation... you have a one month old baby who rolled off the couch- baby could have been really hurt.</p> <p>I think it's important to, when baby is asleep, have a serious discussion with your DH and let him know your concerns. Let him know you trust him and love him and am so excited for him as a father but you want to make 100% sure that BOTH of you are able to make the best decisions regarding baby's safety and then maybe suggest the class??</p> <p>I think some parents get it right away and some don't and need their hand held through the process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481454 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:21:01 +0000 MamaMoose 481454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>100% he is extremely attentive to her. Sometimes he doesn't do things exactly the way that I would do them (he has no concern about setting bad habits and loves snuggling her to sleep, and he thinks swaddling is mean even though she loves it!) but I never worry about her safety or comfort with him.</p> <p>Has your husband learned from his mistakes? I think if M rolled off the couch while husband was watching her from that moment on he would never take his eyes off her. But if you don't think he's going to change his ways on his own I would sit down with him and voice your concerns in a non aggressive way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481452 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:20:28 +0000 mrbee 481452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: I understand the desire to not overprotect the baby, and to not over think things! But he's kinda of just making it up as he goes along... which is fine if you make sure to never ever threaten the physical safety of the child. But he doesn't seem to have internalized that one.</p> <p>It's pretty urgent that he learn more about this stuff! A safety class sounds great, if there's a good available locally... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481432 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:15:20 +0000 78h2o 481432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I can try to be more detailed. Telling him what to do doesn't really cause conflict, but I think he only half listens to me... he says, "Yeah,yeah, I got it," but then does something less than safe or ignores her. He also thinks I'm being overprotective... he is annoyed at me right now because I don't take her for daily walks, but it's only 25 degrees out and she's 4 weeks old. He also thinks I should keep her awake most of the day so she'll sleep at night... I wish we'd taken an infant safety or childcare class, but he didn't think we had the time.</p> <p>@zippylef: That's encouraging! I do think my husband will interact with her more when she can do more... right now he thinks she's boring.</p> <p>So cute about the husband sdressing the LOs in interesting outfits! As long as my LO is safe, I don't care... my DH can dress her in whatever he likes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481405 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:08:19 +0000 GrapeCrush 481405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH would leave DS on the changing table unattended too, but never for a nap! i definitely trust him with DS though. although like @autumnlove:, he dresses DS in some interesting outfites. once he put overall shorts on him because he thought they were overalls, that were just a little too short....it was october, in upstate ny! not shorts weather lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481391 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:04:16 +0000 MarieJ 481391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, thank goodness! I was a little overprotective at first, but he has proved numerous times that he is capable of taking just as good care of her as I am. It makes it easier to sneak out &amp; have a little me time :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481388 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:03:29 +0000 Mrsbells 481388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @mrbee: that it does sound like he needs really detailed instructions.</p> <p>My husband is pretty good with babies even before our LO was born but I still do have to remind him of things sometimes </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481384 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:02:28 +0000 autumnlove 481384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH dresses LO in funny outfits but he is great with her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481383 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:02:20 +0000 Bao 481383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes absolutely! He doesn't know nearly as much as me, but he figures it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-trust-your-husband-with-your-lo#post-481380 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:01:23 +0000 loveisstrange 481380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: My DH was JUST like this when C was tiny. I couldn't trust him at all. He's gotten much, much better.</p> <p>6 months ago? No, I couldn't trust him. I don't know how many times I left to go grocery shopping and came home to find her screaming her head off in the swing and him laying on the couch ignoring her. Now? Yes. As she's gotten older, he has gotten the hang of things and he is a great dad. </p>