https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 18:56:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2194088 Sat, 30 May 2015 06:49:59 +0000 Cole 2194088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom tried until we were well into teenage years to keep both budget and number the same amongst 4 of us-- it was a terrible idea because I know it added stress and almost every year she was scrambling to go out and buy a few more things to even it up. Finally she sat us down and said she was done, budget only and we were all thrilled. </p> <p>Long story short, I agree with keeping the number the same when they are little and budget the same after maybe the age of 8 or so. I think I would find myself buying joint presents for awhile anyway, play kitchen and food, bicycles, outdoor play set, lots of musical instruments, dress up set etc. I would probably do a big gift with any supporting gifts (kitchen and food) and maybe one small thing for them personally? Clothes, a book, stuffed animal etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2194086 Sat, 30 May 2015 06:41:11 +0000 lady baltimore 2194086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was growing up, my parents kept the number of Christmas presents my brother and I got relatively equal, so that one kid wouldn't be opening long after the other was finished. My husband's mom did, and still does, keep the budget for each of her kids equal, which struck me as odd the first holiday that I spent with them. I can honestly say that, until that Christmas, I had never given a moment of thought to how much my parents spent on our gifts - it just never came up.</p> <p>I also have a pretty short gift-list at the holidays, so we don't work with a set budget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2194056 Sat, 30 May 2015 04:03:35 +0000 regberadaisy 2194056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So this is my stance and it comes from having a niece and nephew that are exactly two weeks apart. I have always tried to be "fair" with their presents. When they were younger it was definitely easier. I tried to always give them both the equal number of items. When you're a kid that's more important to them! For myself I would try to make them roughly the same monetary value. As they have gotten older the number of gifts are less important as they start asking for things. But I do set a budget cap for each. Once they reach it, that's it. But that really only works when they understand numbers and dollars and cents. Ie the one year both my nephews were obsessed with Skylanders and that's all they wanted. My niece wanted a pair of winter boots. So my niece got boots and something small on the side. My nephews each got one "big" gift (Legos) then a couple Skylanders.</p> <p>I will do the same with my kids as they get older! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2194035 Sat, 30 May 2015 01:08:38 +0000 birdofafeather 2194035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rattles: Love that: fair isn't always equal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2193031 Fri, 29 May 2015 07:17:47 +0000 Adira 2193031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely think it's important to be fair, whether it's the same number of gifts or the same value. Value will definitely be more important once they are older and understand the value or things, but the number of gifts will be king for a long time. But I think you can try to be even on both. Say one kid wants a $50 gift and the other wants a $20 gift. Maybe you get them each three gifts. One kid gets the $50 gift, plus two $5 gifts, and the other gets three $20 gifts. That way they each get three gifts and you've spent the same amount on them. Of course it all depends on the expense of the gifts they want and your budget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2193024 Fri, 29 May 2015 07:11:04 +0000 Mamaof2 2193024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Its varied.</p> <p>When DS was 3 and 4 and DD was 1 and 2 I probably did spend more on DS and he got more gifts (DD was oblivious).</p> <p>As they got older they got the same number of gifts.</p> <p>They are 4 and 6 now. For DS's 6th birthday I did try to explain to him that he could have 1 really expensive gift or a few smaller gifts - he sorta got it but wasn't happy about it. Eventually they need to learn that its quality over quantity </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2193022 Fri, 29 May 2015 07:09:43 +0000 lamariniere 2193022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with the previous comments. My two are 3 years apart. So far, the youngest doesn't understand gifts, and the oldest certainly doesn't understand the value. While they are young, we will likely give the same number of gifts, regardless of the value. As they get older and have actual wants, we'll probably set a budget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2192989 Fri, 29 May 2015 06:01:15 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2192989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think when they are young, they should definitely have the same number. Eventually (once they understand cost/value) you can shift to same budget but not necessarily the same number.</p> <p>My parents always tried to make sure that gifting was "even" for us growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2192453 Thu, 28 May 2015 17:18:16 +0000 BSB 2192453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: I'm thinking our daughter would love getting cash to go to the mall or something. </p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: True. Good point. </p> <p>@rattles: Ah, yeah, something I need to remind myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2192306 Thu, 28 May 2015 15:39:28 +0000 rattles 2192306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agreed with above. Not related to gifts specifically, but one thing my parents always said that stuck with me was "fair isn't always equal". They treated each of us fairly in so far as they met our individual needs, but that didn't always mean we got exactly equal amounts of everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2192302 Thu, 28 May 2015 15:36:51 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2192302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think at some point you have to go from # of gifts to value of the gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2192271 Thu, 28 May 2015 15:17:52 +0000 Truth Bombs 2192271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we were younger my parents always gave us the same numer of gifts because kids can count but don't really understand value. When we were older, they set an equal budget for each kid, but that din't necessarily work out to the same number of gifts. One year my parents had a ton of ideas for my brother and very few ideas for me so he got a lot of gifts, I got like two gifts and a wad of cash to make up the difference. HA! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-try-to-be-fair-when-giving-gifts-to-your-los#post-2192247 Thu, 28 May 2015 15:15:00 +0000 BSB 2192247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is mainly for those of you who have more than one LO. We are expecting twins so this has come up. </p> <p>Do you have rules for gift giving?</p> <p>Do you set a dollar amount? Or set a number of gifts, like 1 gift each?</p> <p>Do you make it fair? Or are you not concerned about being fair?</p> <p>Do you get one gift for each LO in the same price range?</p> <p>DH asked me if LO #1 asks for a $50 gift and LO#2 only wants a $20 gift, do you get LO#1 the $50 gift and LO#2 gets the $20 gift? Do you get LO#2 some additional gifts to add up to the $50 gift? What happens if LO#1 complains that they only got 1 gift and their sibling got more. I understand that our LOs probably won't understand that some gifts cost more than other. </p> <p>DH said he's not worried about being fair. (He wants to teach our kids that sometimes life isn't fair.) I disagree with him (especially with twins), I don't want one twin being favored. I understand showing our kids that life isn't fair, but I don't know if I want to do it on their birthday and Christmas gifts. </p> <p>I'll admit that I was thrown off when DH asked me this question. I didn't even think of it. </p> <p>DH also made the comment that when the twins are older, they might get smart and get each other to ask for expensive gifts. Like twin 1 might tell twin 2 to ask for more expensive gifts because he/she will be asking for an expensive gift. </p> <p>This is making my head hurt thinking about something hypothetical like this. Even if this happens, it won't be for a few years. Ha! The babies won't care.</p> <p>ETA: Apparently, DH and his best friend discussed this and DH said his best friend agrees with him. We are having twins and they guys are thinking about gift rules. :shocked: </p>