https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 05:47:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent/page/2#post-1603499 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 18:20:54 +0000 meganmp 1603499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find free range parenting fascinating as a philosophy. I believe that rules and discipline are indeed necessary, as @Lindsay05: mentioned. I don't think that rules and discipline are exclusive of independence and accountability- I actually think they go hand in hand. You can't be accountable and independent if you don't understand the rules of how to function in the situation you're in, and you can't be independent if you don't have the discipline to think for yourself. </p> <p>I also think that knowledge of crimes is affecting how people parent. When I looked up crime rates from my area, I noticed that the highest crime rate was right when my mom was letting me go off and play independently, not within shouting distance. Now, it's much lower. The thing is, when I check with my students I found out that over half of them are not allowed to leave their yards without and adult- they're fifth graders. There has actually been a sharp decline in the crime in our area plus parents have a higher degree of communication ability with their children, yet parents are getting stricter and stricter. I'm not saying it's right or wrong (heck, my mom was probably an idiot for letting her five year old go off and play in the woods), but it's just interesting to look at from a sociological standpoint. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent/page/2#post-1603359 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 17:11:52 +0000 AprilFool 1603359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say I am about half free range. There's not much she's not allowed to do or touch, unless dangerous, at home. I think a child needs a tumble or 2 to learn but when it come to outside freedoms I am terrified. </p> <p>A recent murder case in our state has scared me completely. A 13 yr old catching the bus, like he normally does, went very wrong. The murderer had a past and every crime was committed in a normal, everyday situation. It scares me. How to give freedom and responsibilities and avoid these situations? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent/page/2#post-1603142 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 15:43:55 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1603142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Reading that made be glad we'd chosen to live where we are. It's not perfect, but it has it's perks, and safety is one of them. Though I'm not sure if I'm a free ranged parent, I have noticed that I'm more relaxed and let things be. Before I used to be so concerned and even appalled by seeing unsupervised kids climbing up trees and dangle down huge rocks in the forest (they did this during recess). But now, I find myself smiling and wanting to take a picture?!!</p> <p>Have I mentioned how the preschool has the younger kids sleep outside in huge prams. They're all under the awning by the front door! I never, EVER thought I'd be fine with that. Now that's where LO naps every day! :shocked: :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent/page/2#post-1603097 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 15:31:19 +0000 Lindsay05 1603097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: I agree. I also am not sure of the proper definition of "free range parenting"</p> <p>Kids crave rules and discipline as much as they need independence and accountability. What should those 4 kids and the parents of those kids learn from this? They need to listen to their teacher and should know what to do when they are in a position like this. Although things might be a little different these days with cell phones and all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1603043 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 15:19:32 +0000 Maysprout 1603043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think the girls did anything stupid by staying put. If there was no plan in place it can become chaos quickly if both parties are trying to search for the other. I'm kinda surprised with so many parents there one couldn't jump on the tube with the girls once they realized they were on.</p> <p>I hope to teach my girls so they can be self sufficient but I donno, seems like an OK thing to have a plan in place in case kids become separated, seems like common sense more than a parents are so strict nowadays type of thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602975 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 15:04:39 +0000 pui 1602975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@locavore_mama: I'd say it's not about being a "cool parent" and it's definitely not just letting kids do "anything they want"... I think it's more about giving children appropriate freedoms and responsibilities as soon as they can handle them. </p> <p>I'm new to the term "free-range parenting" though so I'm not sure completely what it implies. I'm getting my philosophies from a Montessori approach. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602962 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 15:00:35 +0000 regberadaisy 1602962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TemperanceBrennan: exactly.</p> <p>I might be more of a helicopter parent. But I'm ok with that. At the end of the day my child's safety is more important than being the "cool" parent who let's their child do anything they want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602956 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 14:59:35 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1602956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: very good point. Sometimes stay where you are is better than make an impulsive decision and make things worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602953 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 14:59:11 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1602953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love it!</p> <p>I probably won't let LO go on public trans by himself for a long, long time, but I'll make sure to go with him and talk about it. (Our public trans is a far cry from the Tube.)</p> <p>I thought the article was going to say that the kids pulled out their phones, no that they went to the end of the line...phones do help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602948 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 14:58:41 +0000 .twist. 1602948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will try to be as much of a free range parent as possible. I think the younger generations (maybe mine included) as so dependant on everyone else to make things possible for them, that they can barely think on their own. </p> <p>However, there ARE so many scary things out there that I want to protect my kids from. Things that are so out of my control. I want to do anything I can to keep them safe because I don't want to end up losing my child before my time is up. </p> <p>It's such a fine line. </p> <p>I guess also, I do try to let kids work things out themselves, but like others have said, it's hard to read other parents and what they find appropriate. I'm REALLY relaxed about my kid bumping his head or getting hit by another kid because I know they're kids. I hope the parent will deal appropriately. But I know a lot of other parents are not as lax at me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602931 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 14:51:59 +0000 pui 1602931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd like to be as much of a "free-range" parent as possible. I'm a strong believer in bestowing independence. To paraphrase a quote from a book I read recently "This is not someone who will remain a baby forever". At some point, our kids have to become their own, self-sufficient people. This can't be taught, it has to be experienced. I think by giving children small freedoms one step at a time (as they can handle them) we foster this kind of independence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602860 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 14:35:19 +0000 looch 1602860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: well, in fairness, I don't think they froze, they made a decision to stay on until the end of the line, which is better than getting off and not knowing how to navigate IMO. I think the point is more that parents now are more likely to accuse the school of wrongdoing rather than to accuse their kids.</p> <p>My husband and I almost got separated in Berlin once and we have a plan in case it happens... get off at the next station and wait on the platform. We'll teach this to our son as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602848 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 14:31:58 +0000 artsyfartsy 1602848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This article was interesting! I hate to admit it but when I saw, "I Lost a Child in the Tube" I was like, wtf? I didn't know what that meant. Haha!</p> <p>I'll have to see. I'm definitely more laid back than I thought I would be! The only thing I freak out about is breastfeeding. I don't want T getting anything but breastmilk until he's ready for solids (6 mos or so). I have a family who's used to rice cereal and giving a 2 month old a bite here and there. I've been kind of an annoying mom when I say ABSOLUTELY NOT. But everything else I'm completely lax about. </p> <p>I think I will be somewhat of a free range parent and I definitely want to be but only time will tell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602748 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 14:08:02 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1602748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: i think the author was just pointing out the difference....that 20 years ago children had the ability to think through a problem and get themselves out of trouble, whereas in the recent situation the kids froze and didn't know how to think for themselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602667 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 13:50:21 +0000 meganmp 1602667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I think perhaps I'm the idiot here... it seems to me like the author was praising Maxine for being resourceful, and chastising the parents of the four girls for not teaching their kiddos how to be self reliant. Am I crazy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602600 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 13:38:55 +0000 LuLu Mom 1602600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm, I think my LO is too young now, but I can definitely seem DH and I being a moderate free-range parent when she's older &amp; when we move to a smaller town. She will be in a town of 250, so as long as she knows the rules I will be okay with her having the independence my parents gave me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602215 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:25:53 +0000 Dandelion 1602215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: @littlebug: yeah, the teacher didn't "let" the kids get lost. The kids weren't listening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602100 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 11:52:31 +0000 littlebug 1602100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I think that's kind of the point. Maybe not so much that Maxine is an idiot, but back when we were growing up, if that kind of thing happened, it's because we (the kids) weren't paying attention or weren't listening. There may be some questioning of the school/teacher, but for the most part it would be "Why didn't you listen to your teacher?" Nowadays, though, it's ENTIRELY the school's fault. Always. No questions asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1602072 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 11:44:34 +0000 Greentea 1602072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This article kinda rubs me wrong. "Maxine is an idiot" is the attitude vs. "Omg how did you let kids get lost?" In that sense the latter seems more sensible and appropriate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601973 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 11:21:08 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 1601973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so interesting to me, being a parent AND a teacher. I am a paranoid freak when I take kids on field trips. I am so scared of losing someone that I count them every 10 minutes. I try to put myself in the parents' shoes and I know that if my kid was lost on a field trip I would flip out. I probably wouldn't flip out on the school, but I would definitely panic a bit.</p> <p>As far as free range parenting, I wouldn't say I'm quite free range, but I also don't think I'm a helicopter parent. Liam is still young, so it's different, and I only have one kid to worry about, but I do try to let him figure things out for himself to a certain extent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601934 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 11:13:50 +0000 Lindsay05 1601934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Thats true. I try to read others as well and tend to assume they are much more protective than I am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601930 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 11:12:30 +0000 looch 1601930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: What is difficult for me is knowing what is okay or not by the other parent. When we're in a situation where i don't know the parents that well, I do tend to hover a bit more until I get a better sense of what they find acceptable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601924 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 11:11:08 +0000 meganmp 1601924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm forwarding this article to DH... we definitely differ in our free-range tendencies! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601885 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 10:57:05 +0000 Lindsay05 1601885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMccarthy: I agree, the media does spread paranoia! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601879 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 10:55:27 +0000 Lindsay05 1601879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: yeah of course. A five year old pushing down a 1 year old is definitely inexcuseable. I dont know, i dont feel like I need to protect my child around other kids. If she gets knocked on her bum, she can get back up and decide to either keep playing or do something else. It does have implications of how life is when you are a teenage, college student and adult. There are obvious instances where you need to protect your child but getting a little bump or bruise is not a bad thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601858 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 10:50:34 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1601858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm such a total helicopter parent and I wish to god that I could be less so. I feel like on one hand it's the media making me paranoid and on the other hand it's become so much less "know your neighbors" in our world that its hard to feel like you are enough of a community that you can trust your child to be out in the wild! I try to find a balance and my husband is very good for that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601848 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 10:46:31 +0000 looch 1601848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: I think part of the problem with helicopter parents in your example above is that some parents will give you the side eye if your kid does something they feel is inappropriate. I am a big beliver in letting the kids work it out themselves if they are close in age, but not all parents view things that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601831 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 10:43:46 +0000 Lindsay05 1601831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man. This can be applied to so so many topics but I will just stay on the main topic. I hope to live my whole life for my children to grow up to be independent people who can take on the world. They need to learn how to figure things out on their own, stand up to people/bullies and teach the same to their own kids. </p> <p>I see lots of 'helicopter' type parents at our playgroup. The parents literally follow their kids around and play with them. The kids rarely interact and if they do, the parents are right in there making sure their kid doesnt touch the other kid or steal their toy. What happened to letting kids just play together and letting them figure it out on their own?</p> <p>I think the article does portray how overprotective we are becoming as a society. Kids need their parents to bail them out of every situation. So yes, I strive to be a free range parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601667 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 10:10:58 +0000 pinkcupcake 1601667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not free range at all,<br /> And I have no plans to be. </p> <p>There's just too much...disgusting-ness in the world today. We live in a safe, quiet suburb but a man tried to lure a little girl at a grocery store a couple months ago. Another man tried to grab a kid at a park/playground maybe 20 miles away. It seriously freaks me out and my anxiety skyrockets whenever I hear these stories (and my anxiety is pretty bad to begin with). One of my biggest fears is that she will run off while I'm out and I won't notice until she's gone. Gaaaah. </p> <p>So yeah, I think I'll be over protective. I wish I could let her run free but there are just too many sickos out there :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-want-to-be-of-a-free-range-parent#post-1601580 Wed, 30 Apr 2014 09:43:00 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 1601580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mt LO is only 7 months so it's hard tell, but ideas &amp; our conversations about the future definitely show that I will be more free range than DH. We had a little corner store about a mile from our house &amp; since about 12 or 13 my mom would allow my friends &amp; I to walk down to it or roam around the neighborhood as long as we had her phone with us. I can count on one hand the amount of times she felt the need to check on us while we were gome. We also have a corner store about a mile from our home &amp; I would totally allow LO to walk down to it with friends but DH would have a cow. He even gets upset if he finds that I went for a walk &amp; went further than he would have liked. Hopefully we can find some kind of compromise as LO grows. </p>