Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 13:36:21 +0000 eeh on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5758 Sat, 22 Oct 2011 18:58:39 +0000 eeh 5758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't think this can really be blamed on kids. Kids haven't changed. A baby now is the same as a baby 50 years ago. Adults are what change and the change reflected in adults is what is passed down to kids. I think a lot of it has to do with not wanting to be the mean mommy at playgroup who is seen disciplining her children or on the soccer field or science fair when everyone is given a ribbon regardless of whether or not they deserved it. Take the student you mentioned who received a B-...if he grew up always receiving the ribbon when all he did was sit on the bench it's easy to see how he expects the same thing in college (the A when he didn't do anything to actually earn it). I also think parents are too afraid to tell their kid a painting isn't good or the paper they wrote isn't up to standard. There's a fine line between being critical and setting reasonable standards. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking at your ten your old and saying: "This isn't good enough. You need to go back and do better." When I was in college to get my teaching degree one of our classes actually talked about good praise and bad praise. I've seen teachers ask a question such as "what is your name" and the student named Timmy replies "Fred" then the teacher says good try, guess again. No, NOT good try. Fred isn't his name. Don't say good job. The response should be: "No, try again." MsUsUk on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5723 Sat, 22 Oct 2011 10:21:19 +0000 MsUsUk 5723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ For sure! I completely know what you mean by the impact of friends. I work with various high school and middle school classes ( I usually only see each class once in the fall or spring) but they've really scared me! I am a product of public schools and my parents did not let me slack off. But the kids I see today (isn't that the first sign of being old... that phrase, yikes!) are so lazy, and entitled and don't understand the point of doing the work. The other day I was so frustrated at the kids I had I gave a 15 minute talk on the importance of critical thinking. I was so fed up! I don't have answers, but I share your concern! Red on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5710 Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:59:11 +0000 Red 5710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Although this thought has crossed my mind, I'm not too concerned about it. Kids learn by example and my husband and I are definitely not ones that will set that example. I wholeheartedly believe that children need boundaries and cringe when I see parents who cater to their kids, cause those are the ones that grow up to be lazy and entitled. It frustrates me to no end and makes want to walk up to them and tell them that they don't need to be their children's best friends. Like many have already mentioned, be consistent and follow through with consequences. Try also, not to promise something you can't deliver. geekinheels on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5645 Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:13:25 +0000 geekinheels 5645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't have anything more to add than what's already been discussed, but to answer the question...YES! This too, is one of my biggest fears regarding my children. looch on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5641 Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:02:56 +0000 looch 5641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This is a great discussion and one that I wonder how we will handle as our son gets older. For me, the main thing that we will have to stick to is that our time together is not time to indulge the child. I think a lot of parents have guilt that they aren't with their children because they are working, commuting, whatever...and then when they do spend time with their kids, they want to "make up" for the time spent apart and then just give into their whims. I have every intention of returning to work, I invested a lot in my education, I enjoy it and I want DS to understand that you have to work to get things that you want. Obviously I don't plan to let him have zero fun, but as a PP wrote, everything is a privilege. LazyLightning on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5604 Fri, 21 Oct 2011 09:04:28 +0000 LazyLightning 5604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Like many people already said, I was raised with expectations from my parents...I didn't just get to have fun unless I earned the fun. I think this matters a lot. My dad would always tell me that everything was a privilege--as a kid, I had no rights. No right to watch TV, to see a friend, to have a snack, to drive my car, etc. My job was to do well in school, be good, have a clean room, help my mom with chores, whatever. If I didn't do it, I didn't get any extra privilege. They would tell me--for example--I couldn't go to the homecoming dance unless I got A's on all my tests that week. If I didn't get the A's, I didn't go to the dance--no negotiation. I definitely was not hanging around with friends after school or going to the mall or anything. I was at team practice if I had it, and then home, working on my homework. Also, they didn't spoil me. Just because they could afford to buy me something doesn't mean they did. I think a lot of parents just buy whatever their kid asks for, to make the kid happy. My mom has told me time and time again that the number one thing to do with kids is to follow through with whatever you say (discipline or praise/reward) because that teaches consequences of positive/negative actions. Exactly what Adira said--you can't tell a kid one thing and then just do another if they don't like what you said. They're a kid!! I see that kind of thing all the time it public. Drives me nuts. People tell me I'll change my mind when I have a kid, but I dunno. That's how I was raised, and I value discipline and respect for elders a great deal. I, too, would love to know the secret of raising kids who value my opinions and don't want to disappoint me. I am that way toward my parents and I think it has kept me out of a lot of trouble/kept me on track when I was younger. Adira on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5586 Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:40:05 +0000 Adira 5586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Anewme - I completely agree with you, especially this part: "It's so much easier to give in than to fight for them." I see that with my sister-in-law's child. She always gives in and gives in and gives in and lets him do whatever he wants. Now he's six and a spoiled brat and I know he's just going to get worse! You HAVE to say "no" to your kids and you have to show them consequences. I think one of the worst things you can do as a parent is make threats and then don't follow through. For example, my SIL will tell her son "Have a bite of everything on your plate, or no dessert," and he'll throw a hissy fit, cry and scream for a while, and then she'll take his dinner away and give him dessert! And she's ALWAYS done this, so he knows that he just has to throw a fit and she'll give him what he wants! It drives me batty! anewme on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5505 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:45:50 +0000 anewme 5505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I worry about this all the time, because I see such a generational shift from mine and the just generation just a decade after mine. My best friend is a teacher for grade school and she is a repository for stories of ill behaved children and the parents who allow/don't correct it. Her experiences never ceases to amaze me. I still believe that it starts in the home and with the parent-child relationship. Every parent wants to be able to give their children, better and more than they had and I'm no different. But I don't believe in handing them over on a silver platter. In our home we are definitely going to instill good, hardworking, morals and values. I grew up with extremely tough and strict parents. In my teenage years I used to hate them for their strict ways and often rebelled. I saw how easy my friends had it and I was so resentful. In hindsight, I'm glad my parents kept me on the straight and narrow. Someone once said to me, "if your kids hate you, you've done a great job as a parent." It might seem a bit harsh, but it could be so true. It's so much easier to give in than to fight for them. But it's critical to stay true to your beliefs. When DD is old enough to comprehend, I would definitely get her involved in community affairs and volunteer activities so she knows that there are many people much less fortunate and not to take what we have for granted. MaisyMay on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5500 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:37:13 +0000 MaisyMay 5500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We intend to raise our kiddos to know what work means. They'll need to do chores and earn an allowance, and hopefully this will help entitlement. I grew up working at my parents' business, and had to earn things. We want to give our kids everything that they need, but they still need to feel as though they've earned what they are given. Andrea on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5481 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:05:09 +0000 Andrea 5481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was never allowed to hang out with my friends after school or go to any sleep overs. As Mr. Bee said, it was homework and piano. So you can control who your kids hang out with if you don't let them out of the house! Ok, just kidding ... that does not seem like a good solution but I don't think I have any good solutions. I fear for the future! Adira on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5480 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:04:53 +0000 Adira 5480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Maybe you can give your kids so much to do they don't have time for fun either. :P I tended to only really have time to hang out with my friends on the weekend due to homework and piano practice. Of course my brother was equally packed with stuff to do because he did sports all year round and that apparently didn't work for him so... Maybe try asking your parents and Mrs. Bee's parents what they did to prevent you two from being lazy? I plan to ask my mom, but I don't think she'll know what she did differently between my brother and me. mrbee on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5478 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:56:50 +0000 mrbee 5478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Growing up, it was just finish your homework and then practice the piano... there was no fun part haha! Adira on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5476 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:55:11 +0000 Adira 5476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I suppose that's probably true - maybe that's why my brother is more of a slacker than I am? Certainly in high school, my best friend and I often would compete with each other to do better, and so we both ended up doing really well! Before high school, I didn't have that with my friends, but I had that competitiveness with my brother - we were always competing to bring home the better report card. I know you can't completely control who your kids hang out with, but you can certainly influence it I think. My best friend in middle school wasn't the best influence on me and my mom really disapproved of her. But my parents gave me standards that I had to live up to, such as I had to complete my homework before I could hang out with her and stuff. And I was never allowed to just go hang out with someone without prior permission. I think if you get that kind of "homework before fun" attitude ingrained in kids before middle school or high school, you'll have a lot less problems. At least that's how I was... but unfortunately I'm the only experience I have, haha. I also think that if you teach your children from a young age to work hard and be studious, they will probably be more likely to befriend others who are like that. At least, I HOPE that's the case... Rubies on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5475 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:53:46 +0000 Rubies 5475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ In my experience, I find that the students with the worst entitlement issues are the ones whose parents are just as bad, if not worse. Example: A student threw a chair in a class and when the parents were called, the father asked who provoked his son and stated that the throwing of a chair was a legitimate reaction to the situation. WTF! Mind you, the neighbourhood that I work in is very ghetto. mrbee on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5469 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:36:01 +0000 mrbee 5469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I read that your kids' friends can often have a bigger impact on your kids than you do! So I'm worried that if they are lazy or entitled, that may rub off. I guess we'll find out soon enough! Adira on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5468 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:31:55 +0000 Adira 5468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mr. Bee - I think because you are aware of the issue and are conscious of not wanting your children to behave like that, you'll probably be fine. Just raise your children to know that acting entitled and being lazy are unacceptable qualities and you expect them to not be like that. Hopefully that works... mrbee on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5465 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:19:29 +0000 mrbee 5465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm seriously considering moving to a foreign country because of this entitlement issue. Rubies on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5463 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:13:47 +0000 Rubies 5463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm terrified! I'm a high school teacher and entitlement seems to be everyone's middle name! It's freakin' crazy. Adira on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5462 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:08:28 +0000 Adira 5462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Tequiero21 - Actually, we're both the second! I don't know if maybe our parents let the first-borns get away with more or something, but both my husband and I were the youngest and we ended up working harder than our elder siblings. tequiero21 on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5459 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:01:58 +0000 tequiero21 5459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ that's what we want to ensure doesn't happen. make sure that our kids from a young age don't feel like they can get whatever they want, whenever they want it. also, money - they should earn it, not be handed it. @adira - are you and your husband the first born? my brother is doing fine now, but i went to a better college, did better in school, got a job right out of college (and tons of jobs before), etc. i feel that maybe parents concentrate so much on their first born they almost "forget" about the 2nd one. or just give up if they aren't doing as well as the first? Adira on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5453 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:37:00 +0000 Adira 5453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Looch - I know what you mean. Both myself and my husband have one other sibling. They both dropped out of college and ended up not doing as well, whereas my husband and I both got our degrees. How is it that one sibling ends up being a hard worker with goals and the other doesn't? looch on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5447 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:55:43 +0000 looch 5447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @adira: I agree with everything you wrote, especially this part: how do you make sure your kids don't want to disappoint you? This can vary so much! My DH is one of 4, he cares, his sibs don't. Adira on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5441 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:29:53 +0000 Adira 5441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't have kids yet, but this is truly my biggest fear (besides health complications, of course). My husband and I are both really hard workers and did well in school, preparing for our future, but it seems like kids these days aren't like that. Many of them are lazy and think they should just get things they don't deserve. I'm scared that my kids will be like that too and I'm worried I won't be able to instill good values and a dedication to hard work inside them. I think probably the best thing you can do (and probably parents will have better/more accurate suggestions than me) would be to just let your kids know what is expected of them and not let them get away with slacking off. I know that growing up, I never FELT like I could get away with being lazy. I just knew it was expected of me to do well (B or better) in school and so I did. I didn't want to disappoint my parents (how do you make sure your kids don't want to disappoint you?) and so I did what they expected me to do. I think you should set your expectations for your children high, but not unattainably so. Make sure they know that you expect them to do their homework, that they get Bs (or As or whatever you expect) on their report cards, and reward behavior that is indicative of their dedication to hard work. Good luck! If you find the secret, please let me know! mrbee on "Do you worry that your LO(s) will be lazy and entitled?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-worry-that-your-los-will-be-lazy-and-entitled#post-5435 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:17:25 +0000 mrbee 5435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I see a lot of laziness and entitlement these days. I was especially shocked when I taught a course at a local college, and the students were incredibly entitled. One kid was shocked I gave him a B- on a presentation, but then admitted he had done no preparation or practice ahead of time. Seriously?? It really worries me that these attitudes might rub off on Charlie and Olive! Do you worry that your LO will be lazy and/or entitled? Is there anything you're doing to encourage your kids to be hardworking and not take things for granted?