https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 06:11:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles/page/2#post-2226567 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 13:04:12 +0000 wrkbrk 2226567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@matador84: HAHA! This made me laugh out loud because when my mom heard I was going to nurse she said, hrmph - I had absolutely no interest in that. Great, mom! Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226496 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 09:49:15 +0000 Keybee 2226496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sisters comment on everything, but that is how our relationship works, they comment and I explain why. My mother in law is quite judgy and undermine-y, she likes to spoil the grand kids. I just try to ignor it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226492 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 09:45:53 +0000 WinterBee 2226492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: I KNOW I will. I get comments from my mom already, and we don't even have kids yet!<br /> She's always talking about being a 'textbook mom' and how it's a bad thing... I like researching things! lol. Oh well... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226406 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 05:51:28 +0000 looch 2226406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At first, my parents didn't understand the routine we needed for our son's sleep. They thought it was me that imposed it, which is true, but for his benefit. After a particularly rough weekend visit, they got it and haven't mentioned it again.</p> <p>What kills me is everyone else's sideline parenting, especially the only child comments...such as, oh your son does or doesn't do something because he's an only child. Really? That gets me because it has nothing to do with anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226288 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:33:08 +0000 Tanjowen 2226288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family has a lot to say about how I parent, especially concerning how early LO goes to bed and how we stick to a schedule. It led to a few blowups and now they are very careful when they say something to me. I am so different from the rest of my siblings and my parents in terms of sleep and approach to life that it shouldn't surprise me. My mom did say something the other day that they all worry I don't enjoy LO because he's "scheduled." What does that even mean???</p> <p>I get irritated because my sister and mom will rave about how happy and easy going my LO is, and then complain about the fact we are leaving because he has to go to bed...it still hasn't occurred to them that the fact he gets his needed sleep is directly related to how happy he is! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226255 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 19:40:24 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2226255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is, but I just ignore her because she really has no idea. On the flipside, she compliments my parenting a lot too. My in-laws are really considerate and never question our parenting, they just go by what we prefer and don't say a thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226196 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 17:18:48 +0000 gingerbebe 2226196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It doesn't help also that BIL (that lives in the same town with my ILs) had his son 2 months before us and of course our nephew a way more relaxed, go-with-the-flow kid who literally sleeps anywhere without any problems. So his parents take him out and go to restaurants all the time because their baby will just sleep in his stroller when he's tired. Nephew doesn't need as much sleep as my son and goes to bed at 10pm apparently. So my ILs don't understand why I get so tense when they want to go out to dinner right at DS' bedtime or whatever. My FIL said something like "we never could have used a schedule because we had 3 kids" - which sorta sounded like "good luck acting nuts like that once you have another kid" to me.</p> <p>And then my dad said something about how I was too obsessed with the number of ounces my son drank in a day (because I'm constantly worried he'll get dehydrated) because back in his day people nursed and you never knew how much your kid drank. Or that people in my culture think by not roomsharing until school age, you're a coldhearted parent. To which my mom added that she's concerned my son wont ever know what its like to sleep in the warm embrace of his mother. Or something nuts like that. She tried sleeping with him once and he just partied and kicked her in a face and she gave up at like 3am. So DIE.</p> <p>I think I feel especially annoyed by these comments because DH and I ended up parenting completely differently than we originally intended because our son just flipped the script on us. All the things we thought we would do for him, HE just wasn't into. He doesn't like babywearing, didn't like breastfeeding, doesn't really care about milk/eating/drinking in general so BLW is pointless, he didn't like roomsharing, he WANTED his crib, he hated swaddling, he loves sleeping in his own room in the dark, and needs his routine and sleep schedule to not be a terrorist. So we're doing what works for our son - not what we think or what anyone else thinks is right for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226179 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 17:02:54 +0000 gingerbebe 2226179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meridian: My son is turning 10 months on Tuesday. He's literally the most uncuddly baby in the world so when its bedtime, we just sing his sleep song and plop him in bed. Both my inlaws and my parents think we're nuts because our lives revolve around his schedule, but its just worth it. I'm sure as they get older it will get a little easier - even now my son can go to bed 10-20 minutes late without a meltdown - but we were so traumatized from when he was younger that we stick to the program 99% of the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226130 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 15:03:14 +0000 Torchwood 2226130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, SMIL is one who doesn't care for kids, and never had her own, so she's been a pain with my niece. She told her to stop being a baby (in a not nice tone) for crying when she was 2. That sort of thing will not fly with my kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226124 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 14:54:26 +0000 Jess1483 2226124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jape14: That's the worst with my in-laws (bedtime too early, too many naps, etc). When we went to the coast with them last year (LO was 1.5), they didn't understand why we wouldn't let him stay up for a bonfire on the beach that started at 9 (bedtime at home was 7, and with the time change, it was 6). When he's 5? I'll be flexible with bedtime. At 1.5, not a chance in hell. Are you the one that will get up with him at 4 a.m. when his over-tired little body wakes up? No? Then hush...</p> <p>Also, why don't we give him juice? Why didn't we feed him cereal earlier in his bottle to help him sleep (which logistically wasn't even possible since he didn't take a bottle)? He doesn't need to nap, he looks just fine, etc.</p> <p>My dad will very occasionally make a comment, but I usually shut that down pretty fast. If I want advice from my mom, I pretty much have to pry it out of her--she tries never to step on toes and, as a part-time caregiver, is always willing to do things my way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226119 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 14:49:06 +0000 Bubbles 2226119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mum is very careful not to comment or question, although I know she did a lot of things differently. Mil and FIL don't necessarily make bad comments, but they give a lot of unrequested advice and suggestions. The other day they were over here and DS was having a bit of a difficult afternoon with lots of testing and meltdowns, and they had a million different ideas about why that might be. Perhaps because he is a toddler!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226052 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 13:14:37 +0000 Rockies11 2226052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my parents and my ILs make comments. I don't think it's mean spirited, I think it's part defensiveness on their end because if you do things differently they can interpret it as a criticism, and part oversensitivity on our end. I think that we have real foundational differences in how we parent - my parents are very authoritarian types and we are just not disciplinarians. I read a lot and take parenting courses and always want to be up to date on parenting techniques, and they think that that's silly. My MIL was a SAHM, and can't cope with our kids being in daycare, so she always makes comments about that. I think they're more about her than about what we're doing, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226045 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 13:01:50 +0000 jape14 2226045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're at my ILs for the weekend and in the first 30 minutes they already started with the commentary about how early LO's bedtime is! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226038 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 12:42:42 +0000 mrsjyw 2226038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope not really from either side. Although FIL has been making comments when DS gets whiny. I don't think he remembers that toddlers are emotional roller coasters. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226036 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 12:42:13 +0000 Foodnerd81 2226036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom has made comments like some of the others, about how we have so much more information available- mostly in a good way. She never really "sleep trained" us and thought it was sort of overblown until she was around my sister and nephew when they did sleep training and she saw what a difference it made, then she totally understood. My dad will make comments occasionally like, Oh we never (whatever parenting issue or transition we are talking about) with you kids! My mom usually stops him right there and says they did so, he just was at work a lot and doesn't remember! She will make comments about how sad it is that all moms can't stay at home. I've tried to explain that not everyone WANTS to but I've given up on that one. </p> <p>MIL tries really hard it to ever step on toes. The only tiny issue was when she asked me more times than I cared for when I was going to stop nursing. Never said anything bad about it but it got on my nerves. </p> <p>And one of my aunts sometimes says things about what great parents my siblings and I are. She backs it up with things she thinks are great so I don't mind that one bit. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226028 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 12:32:00 +0000 MamaG 2226028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom questions a lot, but out of genuine curiosity and not criticism. I'm her baby and nearly 41. It's been a long time since she parented a little one or had a reason to care about baby/kid things. She's always amazed at the resources we have and what's available today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2226020 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 12:20:26 +0000 Meridian 2226020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: How old is your LO? Mine is 9 months and we're the same way... rigid naps/bedtime schedule, and LO HATES drinking/milk with a passion. But he is generally a happy, healthy baby. But pretty sure my ILs think we're mean for "making him drink and sleep so much". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225800 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 00:49:51 +0000 birdofafeather 2225800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL compliments me and says that R is so well behaved because she has a schedule and I just kinda laugh because while we have a routine, we travel a lot and there is definitely no schedule. Sounds like a good nice thing to say but really she just does it to bag on another mom and tell a story. And when R cries or has a fit about something, my MIL looks at me like, what is that about? She doesnt do that with us. :/ She's flexible but she's freaking 2.5 so yeah, she does have outbursts and freak outs that probably come out more for mom and dad than grandparents that let her do whatever. I've have a lot of convos with my mom but she usually does what I want or how she runs it differently isn't life or death so I don't hear criticism. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225793 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 23:51:19 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2225793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our parents don't, but my sister (who doesn't have kids) thinks I don't discipline enough and my kids don't know I'm boss. But she's a more assertive person and I'm pretty laid back in general. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225784 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 23:37:05 +0000 DesertDreams88 2225784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: So interesting on your mom's realization about naps!!</p> <p>Obviously the comments haven't really started since I'm only 11 weeks, but I already have one gem of a conversation:</p> <p>Me: Well, I'd love to have you around for a little while after the birth, I know recovery can be difficult and overwhelming.<br /> Mom: What are you talking about? I didn't have any help when I had you and I was fine.<br /> Me: Well, you know, I'll be in pain from healing, plus emotional and hormonal and having to take care of chores and diapers and breastfeeding....<br /> Mom: No, it's much more simple than that. You'll be fine. Babies only need to be fed every 4 hours, that's what I did with you. Don't believe that 2 or 3 hours nonsense. Just because a baby cries, doesn't mean it is hungry. They need to learn to wait. </p> <p>.....................yep.</p> <p>My MIL also refuses to understand my niece's dairy allergy and thinks swaddling makes babies look like mummies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225739 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 22:40:30 +0000 Corduroy 2225739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Most of my mom's comments relate to daycare since she really isn't comfortable with it and wishes I would SAH like she did. I'm sure she says other stuff to other people like my brother and SIL. I know everything she thinks they are doing wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225734 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 22:33:45 +0000 HLK208 2225734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is full of criticism! Also, DH's grandpa says the meanest things about my parenting...not DH's, just mine. It's really frustrating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225733 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 22:33:06 +0000 travellingbee 2225733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>MIL gives unsolicited, well-meaning advice but would NEVER criticize. Annoying sometimes but I just ignore. My mom never, ever does. She trusts me whole-heartedly. She often says, "Yall know so much more than we did. It's wonderful." Shes never defensive about her own parenting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225723 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 22:24:22 +0000 autumnlove 2225723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, all the time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225719 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 22:17:25 +0000 Ms. RV 2225719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom comments to me about my sister's parenting so I'm pretty sure I'll get the same treatment when LO is here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225704 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 21:58:21 +0000 AprilFool 2225704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not usually but we had a disagreement about circumcision yesterday :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225605 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 20:05:58 +0000 gingerbebe 2225605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We pay my mom to nanny 3 days a week, which limits a lot of her "doing whatever she wants" because we're paying her. But she always says stuff like "he likes it when you do it this way" or "he doesn't like that" - as if she knows my son and his inclinations more than I do. Which drives me bananas, especially because he acts a lot more whiny when she's around because she'll do whatever he wants. </p> <p>Also, our son cannot co-sleep, needs a rigid nap schedule because he doesn't sleep unless forced to and gets super overstimulated, and he's not into food/drinking/milk in general. So the implication is always that we're these cold-hearted parents who never snuggle our baby and lock him in a dark room and are starving him. Except he's completely healthy, sleeps 12 hours a night and naps 2 hours twice a day, and he's SUPER happy and well-behaved when he's awake. But of course, none of our parenting did that - its because he's the sweetest child in the history of Earth and he came out of the womb that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225601 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 20:04:06 +0000 MrsRoo 2225601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My inlaws have lots of opinions, and lots of comments to go with them. I know it comes from a good place, so they are pretty easy to just smile and nod away.</p> <p>My family doesn't really comment on anything we've done so far. I was the first of my siblings to have a baby, so they prrtty much accepted our parenting style as the "norm" now. I feel a little bad for my siblings though, because I know they get comments based on the parenting decisions we've made. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225597 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 19:59:16 +0000 matador84 2225597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom does and I have told her to keep her opinions to herself, especially because I don't ask for them! She's always telling me what I should/shouldn't do. And this is from someone who didn't breastfeed because "blood types weren't the same." Yeah... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-families-make-comments-on-your-parenting-styles#post-2225572 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 19:39:35 +0000 OhCaptain 2225572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: my mother-in-law is the same as your mom! She started saying we were going to be good parents when we got our dog. When she tells us now, it really doesn't mean anything. Especially since she always feels obligated to add in that my SIL and BIL are good parents too. Finished with "all you kids are good parents." My BIL and SIL are good parents, but my MIL need for things to always be even between her kids prevents her from ever just complimenting one of us. It feels pretty insincere now. She also always comments on how great I look, even the times when i gained like 40lbs in a year, and I did not look great.... </p>