https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 12:56:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1541208 Wed, 02 Apr 2014 21:28:29 +0000 MummaColston 1541208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They don't factor in regarding how many I will have but I suppose they have a little influence on when. I've always been close to my extended family so I'd love for my kids to be friends with their cousins and have someone to play with around Christmas and other family times as well. At the moment I have Hunter who is 4 months and his cousin Theo is 8 months. We also have close friends who have a son who is 1 in a couple of weeks. We're all clucky again so if we all had babies around the same time again that'd be awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1412992 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 20:36:23 +0000 wonderstruck 1412992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Although my kids will have cousins close in age, this would not be a factor for me. As many others have said, there are just too many other variables that you have no control over in the end that will affect this. I would hope that by the time I'm gone my children will be married with families of their own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1412317 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 15:08:17 +0000 mrs. bird 1412317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've thought about this. I don't think my brother will be having children, if he does, it would be a huge surprise and I don't see it happening any time soon. That leaves BIL &amp; SIL. I do not want a relationship with BIL and he's not in a serious relationship, and while I enjoy spending time with SIL on occasion, I don't see her having a LO for at least a few years (her partner doesn't live in the same country currently) &amp; I'm not sure where she'll be at then. I had a lot of cousins growing up and loved it, it makes me sad to think we might not have that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1412306 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 15:04:53 +0000 Mrs. WinterWheat 1412306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: yah I totally agree! My brother had a son in may 2008. Then by total accident we announced to each other we were pregnant and due days apart. In fact my oldest and their youngest (both girls) are 3 days apart (dec 2009). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1412177 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 14:28:24 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1412177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kind of... but not in the same way as you. It was more related to timing. Since my brother, sister and I all married within a few years of each other we talked about how cool it would be to be pregnant together and what a blessing it would be to have cousins close together. None of us had cousins near our age, but us siblings are all really close. We spend a lot of time together, so our kids will spend a lot of time together.</p> <p>My sister got pregnant six months before me and it was super fun sharing that together and now our boys have so much fun together. Then, totally by accident, my brother's wife and my sister were pregnant at the same time. So we have boys within 6 months of each other, and two girls within 6 weeks of each other. Sure, most of it was accidental, but I've considered too - when I have another one, will another of my sibs have another kid around the same time? Maybe it's because we all missed the cousin thing - so we would love that for our kids. Obviously there is no guarantee they'll be close and I get that. But the fact is as a family we spend a lot of time together. If I have another child, the timing will be what's right for my individual family, but I can't say I don't think about the rest of my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1412158 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 14:21:39 +0000 rattles 1412158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've thought about it, so I don't think you're crazy. LO's cousins are all 10-15 years older than she is. We want a big family anyway, but without cousins to fall back on I like the idea of her having siblings sort of closer to her in age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1411773 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:20:59 +0000 mrsjyw 1411773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've thought about it in the sense that I want my brother's future kids to be close to our kids and hope that they'll try for babies in the next five years or so (he's planning on proposing this year)... but not in the sense that it affects the # of children we'd like to have (3) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1411748 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:14:31 +0000 Mrs. WinterWheat 1411748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think about it, but my brother had 2 kids so we do have kids on that side. Though not a lot, but they couldn't have more do to health problems with my brother.<br /> On DH's he is close to his cousins so the fact that there is a lot of kids there helps. We get together a couple times a year which is nice. Between us and 5 of his close cousins there are 15 kids age 6 and under (three of them are ours).<br /> But it does make me a little sad that DH's siblings (he has a younger sister and brother) won't be having kids around when we are. We may have one more but it is highly unlikely that his siblings will have kids in the next year or two. Though we will be out of the newborn stage when they are just starting, and they will have built in babysitters at family events. Lol</p> <p>Eta: missed that it should have said "6 and under" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1368665 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 21:04:20 +0000 catlady 1368665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, yes. My husband's sister has two children and she's done. My brother tells me all the time that he doesn't plan to get married or have children, so I'm not expecting anything there. I know that when my mom died, my brother and I really leaned on each other and our extended family helped a huge amount. So I do feel like I need to give my daughter a sibling if I can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1368576 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 20:45:09 +0000 MrsH 1368576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't let it sway you one way or the other. Your LO May or may not have a bunch of family but will definitely have people in her life who love her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1368556 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 20:41:57 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1368556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've thought about this. My brother is almost 30 and hasn't even brought a girl home for us to meet. DH's bro is 30 and neither has he! SIL's baby on the way will be LO's only family if we decide to call it quits. But she has twin second cousins just a few months older (in a different country, but still) and a ton of 2nd cousins from DH's side of the family.</p> <p>My grandpa passed away not too long ago and as I was working on his memorial service, I listed all the grandchildren and great-grandkids. Like you said, we're not going to be around forever ... the thought of her being alone for that makes me sad. But at the same time, it's a little silly to let it truly affect our family planning. Same with the cousin situation. They might not even get along! </p> <p>But I have no doubt that my daughter will be surrounded by people that love and care about her. A sibling would be a plus, but IMO, not a necessity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1368170 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 18:09:08 +0000 swurlygurl 1368170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our timetable moved up a little bit based on when our siblings were having their kids, but I don't think our siblings would affect our choice for quantity of children... Although, we are certain that our kids will have plenty of cousins, so I could very likely feel differently if they were to have little to zero cousins :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1368114 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 17:46:55 +0000 Mae 1368114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: hahahaha. First of all-- "what if one turns out to be a dick?" lol! Valid point. But what if it was the first one? extra reason to have a second! ;) Also I understand you can't plan for EVERY eventuality…. but it seems like having more kids increases odds of more family support in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1368113 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 17:46:43 +0000 sunny 1368113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It doesn't play a part at all. I have tons of cousins but they live all over the world and we aren't close. I'm not even close to the ones that live in the same city that I grew up in. Our LO won't have cousins (if any) until she's much older since our siblings are significantly younger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1368046 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 17:17:46 +0000 bpcmarj 1368046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had this exact convo the other day. I want LO to have cousins but one way or another it looks like all of our kids will be many years older than their cousins. One of my sisters has a serious boyfriend who wants kids, but they are still a few years away from that! I don't want LO to be all alone someday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367987 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:52:45 +0000 georgiegirl83 1367987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't take cousins into account when deciding how many kids we'll have, but I would like more than one so that when my child is older the care taking responsibility doesn't fall on his/her shoulders alone. I realize it doesn't always work out how we plan, but that's one of the reasons we'd like more than one child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367897 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:23:07 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1367897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've thought about it. DH and I are both the oldest. I'm one of 13 cousins, and he's one of a TON. Like he's got 8 aunts and uncles on one side, and they all had 3-6 kids. I can't keep track of how big his family is!</p> <p>His brother &amp; wife are 5 years younger than us &amp; swear they aren't having children. Ever. My brother got married this summer and they want a family, but are just getting settled in new careers &amp; a big move. My sister just graduated college and got a full time job. Unless he long-term boyfriend is planning something, I don't see marriage in her immediate future. </p> <p>My husband grew up far away from his cousins, though. He didn't grow up with them and they aren't close. My whole family grew up here so I was close to my cousins whether I liked it or not! My brother, sister and I live in three different states so we won't have that opportunity with our kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367888 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:19:51 +0000 looch 1367888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nah, I don't go down this rabbit hole. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367884 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:18:32 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1367884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely! DH and I are both only children so our kids will never have cousins (sad I know). I really want them to be able to have other family around, especially to help out when DH and I are older (right now all care of our parents and an uncle falls to us since we're the only two kids around). I'm not trying to hedge my bet and make sure someone is around to take care of us, I'm trying to ensure that they will have other family around to support *them* in this journey. Being an only is lonely some times and having a BFF who is an only child is great--we're like sisters to each other --but she's just not family.</p> <p>I know we can't guarantee our kids will be friends (or even like each other for that matter), but I feel bad not providing them with a familial support system in any way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367868 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:14:35 +0000 blackbird 1367868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, no consideration at all into how many kids i have. </p> <p>Siblings are no guarantee they will be besties or even close, let alone cousins! So many people bank on their kids being good siblings, and...maybe I'm jaded, but *shrug*. If my kids are friends with their cousins, great, but I'm definitely not counting on it. I didn't have any close cousins growing up and i just kind of didn't care. They were nowhere close to my age! So it was kind of moot. People move...</p> <p>And I don't have a sibling anymore, and yes, friends are there for me. It just is one of those things in life. Plus people move away and everything...I think there are just too many factors </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367867 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:14:31 +0000 deerylou 1367867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: This, all of this.</p> <p>We would like two, potentially three children. We'd be fulfilled with our daughter, if we're unable to conceive again, or couldn't afford adoption costs. Our family plans are personal, and not impacted by others. DD has six cousins already, so we feel no pressure to produce more, or hesitations to stop at one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367858 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:11:04 +0000 Mamasig 1367858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted no. I generally don't worry about that but then again my son has 12 cousins. Maybe I would think about that if he had none. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367842 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:06:02 +0000 lovehoneybee 1367842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've considered that of the cousins he regularly sees (on D's side), the one closest in age to him is still almost 6 years older than he is. It won't matter when they're adults, but when they're all children it will, to an extent. There's definitely part of me that wants a second baby just so there'll be a child closer in age to him, but it's not really dictating our family planning, just one of many considerations that ultimately isn't weighted very heavily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367836 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:04:51 +0000 Fronkinzankinsbride 1367836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would love for our kids to have cousins the same age but I don't know that my brother or my wife's sister will have kids at all. They are both in their early 30s and not really that interested in currently making babies. My brother says he would prefer to adopt slightly older children at some point in the very distant future. We are both close with our siblings and we already decided on having two but our siblings plans might come into play for our spacing/timing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367835 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:04:49 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1367835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't say it was a main consideration, but the fact that our siblings are no where near having kids definitely made me think that I wanted a second close in age to our first. Regardless we wanted more kids but this was something that I thought of more in terms of timing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367830 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:03:57 +0000 Boheme 1367830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: lol at "What if one just turns out to be a dick?" </p> <p>@Mae: @IRunForFun: @rahlyrah: Very true! DH is an only, and is TIGHT with his group of friends, and I have a pseudo SIL and BILs due to that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367813 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 15:58:45 +0000 yoursilverlining 1367813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted to go to a nap, pregnant lady :silly: </p> <p>The problem with this line of thinking is that there is no real answer you can satisfy yourself with if you start down that road. You can’t guarantee that your children will be close friends; you can’t guarantee that both will step up to the plate to take care of you when you’re older and help each other shoulder that burden – what if they live on opposite coasts? What if one has family/financial trouble of their own at that time? What if one just turns out to be a dick? All very possible outcomes. </p> <p>Plus, if you’re having more than 1 in order to set up some sort of future security net/happiness for yourself/your first child…well, then you have to have more than just 2 kids. What if something happens to the first or second? What if the first or second decides not to be involved with their siblings as an adult? Either case essentially leaves you back at square one, with an “only child”. So, do you have 3 then? 4? :wink: </p> <p>TL;DR: no, no one else’s family plans factor into our family plans. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367783 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 15:52:50 +0000 JerricaBenton 1367783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It doesn't factor into our plans because DH and I both have cousins that we weren't and aren't close with. I guess I just don't think being cousins means you'll be friends, or even siblings for that matter. I do think about LO not having a sibling to share some of the responsibilities and emotional burdens of aging parents with. That is a major reason for having two, in my opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367772 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 15:50:13 +0000 PurplePeony 1367772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our LO won't have cousins close in age or geography, but I'm not that worried. I have lots of cousins (mom and dad were each one of four kids in their families) but I'm not close to any of them. My BFFs are like sisters to me so they are the ones I'd call on for support when needed, more so even than my brother, who is 8 years younger than me. I think we will have a second child eventually, but even if we don't, we have lots of friends nearby with kids about DD's age and I hope they will become surrogate cousins for her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-niecesnephews-factor-into-your-family-plans#post-1367762 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 15:48:08 +0000 Mae 1367762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@IRunForFun: aw, I hope my LO has life long friends like that. I have a friend from when I was 3 (our moms were BFFs) that I definitely consider a sister. Maybe I need to make a big effort to befriend women with daughters the same age as mine :) </p>