https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 29 May 2026 14:58:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143840 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:31:08 +0000 Modern Daisy 2143840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my Mom once promised she could watch lo while i attended a work conference (dh was out of town). Right at the absolute last second when i was about to leave and it was too late to make other arrangements she backed out because she was "too tired". The worst part was she had made so many "conditions" to watching him that were really inconvenient for me i had already done, so not only was it devastating to not have a sitter at the last second I was also really inconvenienced in a lot of other ways. For example she insisted that DS still go to daycare during the day, but daycare is an hour from her house, so i had already dropped him off and driven all the way back.</p> <p>Even this past weekend we asked my parents to watch him for 1 hour while we signed closing documents. They didnt cancel, but my mom faked an illness to hurry us up and make sure we didnt go one second over that hour.</p> <p>It's really unfortunate that she does this because we intentionally moved to be closer to them so we could finally have some help. I even offer to send (and pay for) sitters to her house but she still cones up with some reason at the last second why they cant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143826 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:15:33 +0000 stiletto_mom 2143826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd give them one more chance. Another flake out and I wouldn't count on them ever again for babysitting. Anytime they'd offer, I'd just refuse or smile and move onto another topic. </p> <p>I hate flakes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143618 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 13:12:49 +0000 regberadaisy 2143618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: possibly!<br /> @anonysquire: ha! We've had 5 dates in almost 3 years. So, no.<br /> @daniellemybelle: I'm not even upset at the BIL one because he's sick and I'm sure his GF was exhausted after watching a 3 year old and 1 year old solo overnight. But the ILs one they offered and kept insisting to! Then they forgot/flaked whatever. Knowing MIL probably decided last minute she didn't want to. When she wants something she literally texts DH multiple times a day until it happens....and if he doesn't responds in .2 seconds she texts me.<br /> @deerylou: absolutely agree. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143608 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 13:09:35 +0000 deerylou 2143608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd probably give your BIL a pass. If I noticed our potential sitter was sick the day before, I would have rescheduled, myself. At this time, we only utilize family for (pretty infrequent) date nights. I always confirm the evening before to go over arrival time and ask what they'd like for dinner/dessert. That being said, something I've learned in my adult life - and especially after having a child - is that some people make kind offers and mean well, but don't always intend on acting upon them. </p> <p>I'd certainly give it another chance with a more clear, assertive approach (or be direct with your husband, and request he do this, since it's his family). If it indeed turns out to be flakiness rather than information being lost in translation, I'd absolutely seek alternate arrangements for care. Hope you get a night out, soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143580 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:55:34 +0000 daniellemybelle 2143580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's kind of upsetting that they flake on you! I agree with others that I always remind, but give an out in case they can't or don't want to.</p> <p>Our family that babysit are fantastic and usually will let us know if they can't and why, but it does happen. I think it's par for the course.</p> <p>When we have friends babysit we always pay them even if they say they would do it for free. I make that clear upfront and they have never flaked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143579 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:55:27 +0000 anonysquire 2143579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just ask them. Or maybe you are using them too often and they are starting to feel taken advantage of and are getting burnt out? </p> <p>If I wanted my mom to babysit my kids I would have to schedule 2 weeks in advance, which doesn't work for emergencies. But luckily she wouldn't forget. I'm sorry your fam forgot :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143561 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:46:41 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2143561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just use MIL 99% of the time and she is pretty reliable, thankfully! Only if something comes up will she cancel, but she also has dropped everything to babysit when things have come up on our end!</p> <p>I think you need to be a little more specific (or your dh!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143519 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:30:29 +0000 SweetiePie 2143519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: No matter who is sitting, paid or unpaid, I always follow up a day or two before and confirm the time they should arrive. It just makes sure we're all on the same page. I wonder if they are saying the same thing you're saying - "they made no mention so we assume they don't need us". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143511 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:25:22 +0000 regberadaisy 2143511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: he thinks they're not allowed to. But I've since found out they are. We haven't talked about it since. I'm going to bring it up again. But I do feel a little weird having them in my home! LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143501 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:22:23 +0000 birdofafeather 2143501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babynumber1: I would do the same. Confirm with them. If I didn't bring it up, my parents would probably ask but I could see how many people would assume you didn't need hem anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143499 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:21:33 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2143499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Man...he needs to get on board with using day care teachers! They're good enough for the day, why not at night? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143490 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:16:12 +0000 regberadaisy 2143490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: @babynumber1: I think I need to be more assertive!!! I've been taking DH lead in it because it's his family. But damn it, I want a date night! LOL or he needs to get on board with using daycare teachers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143478 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:10:58 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2143478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babynumber1: Exactly this - I would remind them and ask if they were still up for babysitting tomorrow night. I feel like if you don't mention it, then they think that you're not up to going out any longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143472 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 12:07:54 +0000 babynumber1 2143472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have just asked "Are you guys still up for watching LO's tomorrow?" I wouldn't have thought anything of it just because they didn't mention it. I would have definitely brought it up and double checked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143442 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:51:17 +0000 looch 2143442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am pretty specific, but sometimes, my parents just don't listen or they forget. I have to write it on my mom's calendar otherwise it's like the plan doesn't exist. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143441 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:51:16 +0000 regberadaisy 2143441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @BadgerMom: @youboots: @Truth Bombs: plans are usually made a week or two in advance. Then we speak / confirm about it again 2-3 days prior. We almost always see them Saturday or Sunday. Then when we're together they make no mention. Both times the babysitting night was Monday.</p> <p>We kinda feel like because they offered (we didn't ask) if they didn't bring it up the day before when we're all together maybe they don't want to babysit anymore! The girls can be a handful especially for my ILs since mil isn't really an active participant in being a babysitter.</p> <p>I asked DH about it on Sunday when BIL and his gf were here if they were still babysitting. He said BIL didn't bring it up so they're probably not because he's sick. I wanted to just ask! LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143434 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:47:34 +0000 youboots 2143434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They may have felt since you did no confirm you did not need them/ no longer wanted them to do it. Especially since they offered. Just sounds like a little miscommunication. I text or email to confirm with my MIL and Mom and iron out the specifics the day before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143403 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:28:39 +0000 Truth Bombs 2143403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would start confirm specific details instead of just "oh, we'll babysit". So on Sunday say "Ok FIL and MIL, does it work for you to arrive at 6pm? Great, we'll see you then." It's harder to bail when there is a specific plan in place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143400 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:27:44 +0000 BadgerMom 2143400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I would give them the benefit of the doubt. Next time I would say something a couple days before, like, "Hey, are you still up for watching LO's on Monday? If not, no big deal :)" This way it reminds them and lets them know that your plans didn't change, but gives them the chance to back out if they really want to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143390 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:23:23 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2143390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: how far in advance were the plans made? Did you all confirm the plan &amp; logistics within three days of scheduled babysitting? Then again the day before? Seems a little odd that neither of you mentioned it, but if I would take the parents' lead on something like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143389 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:21:34 +0000 regberadaisy 2143389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: sadly, I don't think so. We always pick Monday nights because DH gets out at 4. That way we can get home before bedtime. We always get together with family on Sunday. Both times we had literally just talked to them about it on Saturday or Friday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143385 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:19:43 +0000 Mamaof2 2143385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: maybe they forgot ?<br /> I have asked my mom to watch the kids before and when I bring it up again she's like what? :silly:<br /> I would follow up the day before </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-non-paid-babysitters-ever-cancel-on-you#post-2143382 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 11:17:18 +0000 regberadaisy 2143382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had this happen the last two times and I'm pretty bummed! My ILs offered to watch both girls a while ago but then the day came and went and they made no mention. We figured they decided they couldn't handle both kids and didn't make mention.<br /> BIL and his gf were supposed to watch them Monday night. But BIL got sick and his gf had just watch another toddler and baby solo overnight. They made no mention on Sunday when we got together so we didn't bring it up.</p> <p>Kinda bummed!! </p> <p>How would you go about bringing it up in the future in scenarios such as these? We've never asked my ILs because it's really just Fil so we know it's a lot to ask. They actually kept offering so we took them up on it. Then they didn't follow through. </p>