https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 01:14:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1431040 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 11:33:47 +0000 jedeve 1431040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mfa_lady: I kind of feel like that's how mine are. They are very empathetic, and definitely remember when things were tough. But then on the other hand they think we are ridiculous for not getting cable or shopping second hand. </p> <p>To be fair, my in laws are super generous and pay for a ton, though. My parents understand a little less when we can't afford to do something, but we don't see them as often so it doesn't come up much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1431030 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 11:30:54 +0000 Corduroy 1431030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents understand because they offered to co-invest in a house with us. DH &amp; I wanted them to understand exactly where we were financially so they could never say anything in the future about our financial habits. We took them through our budget dollar for dollar and showed them where we were and what impact their investment would have on our budget. It would be nice to have but we were doing just fine on our own. They didn't ask for our details but I wanted to be as transparent as possible so they could never make any remarks about our future financial decisions. Well, they can make remarks but I'm not going to listen to them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1431008 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 11:19:09 +0000 yoursilverlining 1431008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They don’t know our financial situation because we don’t talk about it with them - they don't talk about their financial situation with us very much either. They know we pay our bills on time and enjoy our money, but beyond that, we never discuss specifics. </p> <p>We assist my parents some financially, and will need to assist more in the near future; but we’ve never talked about the full extent of our respective financial situations so I have absolutely no idea how to begin that conversation, and I am dreading it (but it has to be done). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430993 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 11:12:37 +0000 snowjewelz 1430993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are. I think they can probably make comments to us about saving more money and not spending so much. I know that when they got married, they both worked really hard and saved a lot, and were able to afford the lifestyle my sister &amp; I had. But they've been very supportive and haven't made us feel bad, yet! lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430985 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 11:10:36 +0000 rachiecakes 1430985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: @jedeve: We rent a townhouse because we could never afford to buy here, my mother keeps asking that we get an extra bedroom the next place we're in because she wants to stay. Yeah okay!</p> <p>We moved to Upstate NY, dream house but I couldn't find a job! Anything I was looking at was half of my salary here, if that. We stayed there for 8 weeks before moving back to Boston and selling our house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430898 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:49:59 +0000 mfa_lady 1430898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents, yes. They are very generous and really understand our monetary situation. That may be because I pretty much tell my mother everything, all the time. Haha!</p> <p>My ILs, not so much. They remember when things were tough for them, but also expect us to be able to do things they can do now (like pay for plane tickets to expensive group vacations places, etc). It's really hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430895 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:49:37 +0000 Bao 1430895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents completely understand. My parents were way worse off than us when they first got married and had my sister and brother. WAY worse. Now they are in an excellent financial position and even though we are better off than they were at this point in life, they still help us out with things. My dad will fill my car for me in exchange for "helping" my mom which really isn't a big deal. They also help with other things when they can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430876 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:43:27 +0000 prettylizy 1430876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my parents have a pretty good grasp of our financial situation. Mostly because when DH and my Dad have a little too much wine they like to talk business, sales and money. It took them a while to adjust to us being comfortable and not feeling like they always need to pay for things for us. We've finally started picking up the dinner cheque without too much fuss from them anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430869 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:41:27 +0000 .twist. 1430869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>woah! Sorry for the novel! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430868 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:41:09 +0000 .twist. 1430868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: This is so on point! </p> <p>My mom still worked when I was born because they couldn't afford for her not to, but they definitely weren't in a great financial place. They had to budget for everything and although I never knew our situation or that we were not well off, my parents definitely didn't encourage any sort of extra curricular for me, which I remember and am sad about. Things I was interested in, I never got the best of. I don't think you need the best for everything, but if it IS a passion of yours, sometimes the best is nice for those important things. </p> <p>I also know that while we didn't suffer financially, my mom gave up a LOT to raise us. While, my husband and I could probably survive on just his income, we don't want to. I guess you could say it's selfish, but I love being able to afford nice things, and I love being able to go out and get a pedi if I want one. </p> <p>We are definitely better off than our parents were at the same time in their lives. Although, I, very fortunately, learned how to budget very well at a young age and have followed my budget for most of my life. I've gotten off track a few times, but always come back around and back to a good place. </p> <p>Luckily, neither of our sets of parents make any comments about our financial situation and they both see how hard we work to be where we are, which is super awesome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430866 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:40:19 +0000 jedeve 1430866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: @MaryM: my parents think we are rich because we live in a rural area and my sisters live in a city. They forget the average income is half here what it is there. Sure they pay more for rent, but we pay more on less for everything else! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430859 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:38:27 +0000 MaryM 1430859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: "My mother thinks we're rich because we live in the city but we're not."</p> <p>I think my sister thinks this too...and because we live in a MUCH smaller house. </p> <p>She doesn't realize my house cost just as much as hers BECAUSE we live closer to the city! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430849 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:36:42 +0000 rachiecakes 1430849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, no clue.<br /> I work long hours, full time, I carry the health insurance for my family. My husband is self-employed and is able to stay at home with J most days while I'm at work, but works nights, holidays and weekends and doesn't get "time off".<br /> My mother never worked. My father works a full time job and gets paid vacation/time off.<br /> My mother thinks we're rich because we live in the city but we're not. She also thinks I should just stay at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430837 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:34:37 +0000 MaryM 1430837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have this issue with my mom, but I often run into it with my sister. </p> <p>She got married at 19 and started a family right away and never worked. Her husband went through post-grad school while they had two kids, so they lived on very little. </p> <p>I worked full time from the time I graduated and didn't get married until I was 32...so my sister figures we must be SWIMMING in money! </p> <p>Um...not always the case honey! DH and I have had a lot less provided for us (BIL got a tax free loan for school and because they were "so poor"...a lot of family gifted them things they needed...which is fine! But I've worked hard for everything I have). </p> <p>I think it's in poor taste whenever anyone compares money situations. You never know what burdens people have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430836 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:34:27 +0000 looch 1430836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I inherited the family trait of stinginess. According to my father, it's exactly how his mother and one of his sisters were, so he understands why I sometimes do the things I do.</p> <p>I don't really know how to answer the question, there's no way to compare my adult life to my parents, it's just filled with too many variables that would make the comparison pointless. For example, I am 38, with a 3 year old. By the time my mom was my age, she had three kids and I was 15! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430819 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:29:10 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1430819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom definitely doesn't understand our financial situation. She insists that there's no way I have to work for us to survive. That I should be able to stay home and "make it work" b/c she did that. Times are different...living expenses are very different, and I enjoy our lifestyle. </p> <p>I also remember silly things that got to me when I was younger. I played softball and everyone had Adidas cleats while I had to settle for a generic no name cleat. My mom would never invest in the things that I was passionate about, and it made me feel like my interests didn't matter and weren't worth spending a little money on. I don't ever want DS to feel that way.</p> <p>My mom is still worried about money and it seems as if everything revolves around money with her. Again...I don't ever want DS feeling like he can't take an extra long shower b/c I'm worried about the water bill. Silly things like that definitely irked me growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430816 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:29:06 +0000 Mae 1430816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hm. I think they sort of do? </p> <p>Our situation is different because we are in a MUCH different place than they were when they were having kids. My mom got pregnant at 17 and her and my dad got married right away and were pretty poor for sort of a long time (like, cinnamon toast for dinner poor). My parents' concerns when they were first parents were rent and food, decorating or extras weren't even an option. They were better off when they had me (8 years later, because they didn't want to have #2 until they had their financial feet under them a little) but were still pretty paycheck-to-paycheck at that point in their lives. My inlaws were sort of similar. My FIL was in the air force and my MIL didn't work so money was generally tight, plus they moved around a lot so extra stuff wasn't really practical even if it was possible. </p> <p>Where we are now (late 20s, in professional jobs for 5+ years), we are more financially comfortable than my inlaws are right now, so they certainly never think we're being cheap with stuff. They really don't say much about our choices/finances at all, although I do think sometimes they think we have all the money in the world because we DO have good jobs (but I don't think they realize we also have a lot of loans). </p> <p>My parents are a little trickier. They have more money than us now but not by like, a TON. So I think they mostly understand our comfort level with spending, but the difference is that we are very structured with spending and our budget and are more okay cheaping out or going without something unnecessary if it would mean pulling from savings to buy it. My parents are more emotional spenders and with big stuff (like weddings and babies) they feel more like-- its a life event buy what you want, you have it! haha. But that was more an issue with our wedding than the baby honestly. I think they don't QUITE get why I was so insistent on buying craigslist furniture and whatnot, but they also were supportive of it and helped me paint it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430805 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:26:21 +0000 pui 1430805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents? No. They think we should pay for everything when we're with them and that my DH should buy me anything I want whenever I want because they see us as having some kind of excess of money. They think we're stingy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430800 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:24:44 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1430800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh they definitely do. And as humbling as it is, they're helped in small ways here and there. My parents will never be "well-off" and my dad is open about mistakes he's made. I foresee us eventually being more comfortable in the future and being in a better place to help them when the time comes. At least I hope so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430795 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:22:08 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1430795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I think it's hard to compare. My nana will sometimes say how she raised 5 kids in a 3 bedroom house, whe she SAH &amp; my nono worked a city fireman making $74/week. Soup was something like 5c them, so.. How do you even compare that to 2014? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-parent-understand-your-financial-situation#post-1430784 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:18:45 +0000 jedeve 1430784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we are in a very similar place to what both of our parents were when they started out. We might be a little worse off - we went straight from grad school to having kids, and I can't afford to stay at home like my mom/mil did. </p> <p>They both will occasionally make comments like...well, yesterday, I was trying of find a sleeper for LO. I had been looking for weeks for something at all, let alone something under $7. Their mall sold Carter's, so I got one even though it was $9. She started talking about how she loved the Little Me brand, but could never afford it when they were first having kids and her aunt would send her one and she thought it was so nice. But I'm "lucky because I work and can afford stuff like that." </p> <p>I don't know, maybe Little Me was nicer then? I mean, I could never afford stuff like Boden or Gap, but if LO desperately needs a sleeper I can get him one...</p> <p>Then we were shopping for a comforter. I was stressing over the price ($80) and she said, "well, it's not expensive, just buy it until you find something you like and replace it!"</p> <p>My mom does the exact same thing. I think they want to one up how "poor" they were and we have it so much easier (not saying we aren't lucky, but we are typical just starting out and not rolling in it parents with student loans and a mortgage and diapers to pay for!) But on the other hand, they've both done well and completely forgotten how much stuff costs. I asked my mom if $20 was a good price for a shower head shopping with her once and she said, "um, is $20 a lot to pay for anything?" Lol YES! </p>