https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 03:46:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments/page/2#post-427029 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 16:17:31 +0000 spaniellove 427029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I can tell you from our having to do so many SAs over the last several months...yes, a special collection condom is allowed for a SA. (It can't just be any old condom!) And in many situations, the collection into a cup can be done at home, where the partner can help out as long as other fluids/substances aren't involved. So the guy technically doesn't have to touch himself at all and it can be very intimate between the two partners...and a cup. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments/page/2#post-427016 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 16:07:36 +0000 Cole 427016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We aren't very religious but my husband feels strongly that he would rather adopt than go through ivf so for right now that seems to be where our line is drawn but for us it is more a practical/financial decision than anything else. </p> <p>@anonysquire: I have actually heard of some married couples who feel strongly against masturbation having the wife "help" and just making the deposit in the cup. I would think that if it is still an intimate act between spouses it would be acceptable? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments/page/2#post-426982 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 15:24:55 +0000 anonysquire 426982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: @LittleFox: Ya we just are not supposed to masturbate because we are not supposed to feel those feelings before we are married and then after marriage I guess we are just supposed to only do sexual things with our partners. Atleast thats what I think. No one talks much about masturbation or pre marital sex just that we shouldnt have it. Are you allowed to use a condom to catch the sperm? Mormons don't have a position on birth control or condoms. But I was more curious if you have never masturbated in your life, you wouldn't know how to to give the sample right? I don't know lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments/page/2#post-426896 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 13:42:09 +0000 LittleFox 426896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I don't know about the Mormom church, but I have heard some Catholics in similar situations (guy needs to get the sperm checked) talk about using a condom with a hole in it. That way they're not violating the Catholic rules against condoms/birth control or against masturbation, and enough of the semen gets into the condom to save it and take it in.</p> <p>I've never been in that situation and don't know what the Mormom church would say, but perhaps something like that would be an option? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments/page/2#post-426839 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 12:35:27 +0000 Happygal 426839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anonysquire: I guess it depends on the rationale for forbidding masturbation.</p> <p>I've heard the following reasons: masturbation is selfish and sex is about giving yourself to another person. Masturbation can lead to fantasizing about someone other than your spouse. You need to practice self-control and not give into urges other than those for your spouse. And there's the "spilling the seed" Bible verse which some use to say God does not want us to masturbate.</p> <p>What does the Mormon church say? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426792 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 11:58:38 +0000 mamimami 426792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: Thanks for answering and congrats on your babe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426791 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 11:56:40 +0000 swedishfish 426791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sloaneandpuffy: And thanks for the welcome :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426787 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 11:50:59 +0000 swedishfish 426787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sloaneandpuffy: You're right, it's letting the embryos be disposed of naturally instead of destroying them in a lab. Believe me, this is not how I dreamed of conceiving. No little girl dreams of having babies through IVF. The compassionate transfer option was the best way for us to reconcile going through with IVF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426779 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 11:45:09 +0000 mamimami 426779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: welcome to hb! I have never heard about this very interesting option, but after Googling it sounds like there not much real difference between this and outright disposal, except that it helps parents to have more closure/less guilt perhaps? I'm interested to hear your thoughts on what the benefits are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426730 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 10:46:42 +0000 swedishfish 426730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Leialou: @lemondrop: </p> <p>Thanks!</p> <p>There are two ways to do a compassionate transfer. The one I've read the most about is to transfer the embryos during a time of the month when you are least likely to get pregnant and let the embryos naturally make their way out of your body. </p> <p>The way my doctor's office said they'd do it is to transfer the embryos into the vagina instead of going past the cervix into the uterus...again letting the embryos naturally make their way out of your body. </p> <p>It isn't for everyone but it's what we felt most comfortable deciding on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426720 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 10:34:47 +0000 lemondrop 426720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: very well said!</p> <p>I'd never heard of a compassionate transfer, that it's an interesting idea. Congrats and welcome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426719 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 10:33:53 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 426719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: what is a compassionate transfer? I've never heard that term. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426696 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 10:06:33 +0000 swedishfish 426696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been a lurker on Hellobee since we began TTC in January 2012 and registered just to answer this post. I am Catholic and almost 12 weeks pregnant thanks to IVF. We tried one round of IUI (which was truly no big deal!) and were advised to go to IVF due to male and female factor infertility. God gave us this technology to help people struggling with infertility to have children. Making the decision to try IVF was not an easy one though and I struggled with it greatly.</p> <p>I had 17 eggs retrieved and 16 fertilized. The doctor transferred two embryos and froze seven. The other seven did not progress enough to be frozen. I was pregnant with twins but lost one due to Vanishing Twin Syndrome. </p> <p>We will need our embryos to have a second and possibly third child down the road. If we have embryos left and we are done expanding our family we have decided to have a compassionate transfer done. This is an avenue that most people do not know about; it wasn't even an option on our paperwork. I feel better that nature will take its course rather than allowing my embryos to be destroyed. The Catholic Church may not agree with me but I don't agree with all of their teachings either. Sorry for the long response :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426656 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 09:17:49 +0000 MaisyMay 426656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are committed, practicing Christians, not Catholics. When we were discussing fertility issues and problems getting pregnant, we agreed that there was a line we didn't feel comfortable crossing. We were fine with fertility testing and using medicine or surgery to help any blocks, but that we were uncomfortable with anything more than that. </p> <p>Our decision isn't right for everybody, but it is right for us. We are fortunate that we never had to have our boundaries tested. Ultimately it has to be what you and your DH are comfortable with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426599 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 06:35:29 +0000 travelgirl1 426599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're catholics but when was struggling with PCOS i'd have done anything it took to get our baby, including IVF. Hubs wasn't keen on IUI or IVF but I know ultimately he'd have sucked it up because he wants a big family. Luckily acupuncture got us our bfp but who knows for next time... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-426591 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 05:32:33 +0000 anonysquire 426591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was thinking about this this week but for a different reason. As a Mormon we are not supposed to masturbate. So when boys have to go to the sperm tests can they masturbate? ANyways that is unrelated but I was wondering that. </p> <p>I agree with @mrstiz, God just wants us to be happy :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-417007 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:49:55 +0000 MrsTiz 417007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsCB: +1<br /> God (no matter what religion) is supposed to be all knowing and all loving, so in this day and age I cannot imagine anyone's God disapproving of reproduction between a married man and woman.</p> <p>I'm a Christian, and would never in a million years let my religion stop me from doing what I need to for my family or to have a family. Just like you said "that didn't stop you when we were dating, living together, having premarital sex, using BC &amp; condoms." if you went against your religion in those ways (which are pretty big ways normally), then I don't see why this would be an issue?</p> <p>I don't know anything about Catholics though, so forgive me for not understanding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416991 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:44:59 +0000 runsyellowlites 416991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. We're non-denominational Christians and both agreed that infertility treatments or IUI/IVF wouldn't be something that we would accept for our religious walks if we ran into conception problems. DH had undergone chemo/radiation treatments as a teen so he has little guys frozen "just in case". After getting married and praying about it we found that going outside God's design for conception was just something that we didn't want to do &amp; would believe God 100% in us conceiving on our own or possibly adopting. I tend to be very black &amp; white when it comes to biblical following so even though this particular aspect of fertility science doesn't obviously step over any bounds there are others that do so I just couldn't see myself taking any part of their practices. *shrugs shoulders* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416966 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:37:20 +0000 twinmama 416966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsCB: </p> <p>"I also feel like, if you believe in God, then God is in all things - especially in conception, no matter how the sperm meets the egg."</p> <p>I love how you phrased this :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416941 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:28:29 +0000 Happygal 416941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit--just wanted to apologize--I didn't realize it has been nine months already (had to go back to see that). I can imagine that feeling like a really long time. I'm glad you and your husband can speak and share openly with one another.</p> <p>I've really enjoyed reading the thoughtful answers provided by other members of this community. It's something I hadn't thought about before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416921 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:20:10 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 416921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rattles:Last night was the first time I had read anything about NaPro. I'll be looking more into it later. Thanks for the link! @Honeybee: Thank you :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416918 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:16:53 +0000 spaniellove 416918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was raised Catholic but am no longer practicing, and my husband is Jewish but not observant. IVF is the only way we'll ever be able to conceive due to male factor issues. We have no ethical issues with that, although we don't want to do selective reduction...it goes back to a very hurtful comment someone made to me about abortion when I had a m/c years ago. So we want as much control as possible over how many embryos are transferred, and then the rest we'll have donated to research. One of the options they give you is to donate your embryos to another couple, but we're just not comfortable with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416904 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:09:21 +0000 Honeybee 416904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: I'm also a convert (5 years ago this coming Easter), so I understand some of your struggle. My best advice is that we are ultimately responsible for our own choices and we alone deal with the consequences of those choices. The church guides us and supports us, but in the end, only you and your husband can make the decision that is right for you. That goes not just for the church's stance on sex/fertility, but in all areas of life, I think. :) Good luck! I hope this is all just hypothetical and you get a BFP soon without any extra interventions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416890 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:02:36 +0000 ShootingStar 416890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a heathen too, like @mrs. bird, haha. I will do IUI if we need to (and definitely don't see a problem with that) and will do IVF if we need to, too. But after a chemical pregnancy I may have more difficulty in destroying unused embryos and will think about doing some alternatives like mini IVF or donation. </p> <p>I also feel like, if you believe in God, then God is in all things - especially in conception, no matter how the sperm meets the egg. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416878 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 12:58:46 +0000 rattles 416878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you looked into NaPro technology? My husband and I are practicing Catholics, and we found the Pope Paul VI Institute (<a href="http://www.popepaulvi.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.popepaulvi.com/</a>) to be a great resource for directing us towards information and doctors who practiced within the Church's teachings when we were struggling with fertility issues. We were using the Creighton method of NFP when we were trying to prevent, and NaPro uses that information in addressing fertility issues. You'll obviously have to discern for yourself what you believe, but it may be helpful to know that there are options for guidance and treatment within the faith before going straight to IVF, etc. if you're already under the emotional strain of possible infertility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416850 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 12:42:44 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 416850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: I too do not agree with some of the churches teachings which is why this topic has me thinking more about the what if's. If it does come down to IUI &amp; IFV (which we are a long ways away from) I do plan on meeting with our priest to discuss it with him. Its been good to hear that I'm not the only who has thought about this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416847 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 12:42:06 +0000 twinmama 416847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are Christian, conceived our children with the help of IVF, have no frozen embryos, and believe that God was very much a part of our journey, conception, and pregnancy. Even with the help of medical technology, our children are still miracles, just like any other child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416810 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 12:26:29 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 416810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: I know 9 months isn't long especially sense we have been off and on TTC. That's why I'm not stressing over it. It took my brother &amp; SIL 3 years 3 IUI's &amp; 1 IVF before she got her BFP. This was just brought up in a what if conversation. It's good to know what your SO's beliefs are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416424 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 09:29:48 +0000 Weagle 416424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a Christian, I think this is one of those areas that isn't black or white. DH and I have decided that we wouldn't pursue fertility treatments if we couldn't get pregnant without them. We would just pursue adoption, which has always been in the back of our minds anyway. We're grateful that we haven't had to make that decision, but we have several friends that have. They are Godly people, and I don't doubt that it was a hard decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-your-religious-beliefs-get-in-the-way-of-your-fertility-treatments#post-416362 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 09:02:44 +0000 akire 416362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We thought about that quite a bit when deciding to use surrogacy. While our reasoning was my heart, not fertility, it was still brave new ethics we had to reconcile.<br /> There are so many medical advancements available that I don't see how God would draw the line at reproductive organs. We ended up with 2 viable embryos - one didn't result in pregnancy, the other, once defrosted, became the little eskimo in our surrogate's belly who we'll meet in May. I don't think he'll be born of sin, or without a soul, because there was no penetration. If anything he has had a whole team of people working for his existence, which is kinda beautiful. </p>