https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 09:31:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827365 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 18:02:28 +0000 Sams Mom 2827365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyLayneAZ: @2PeasinaPod: I'm the middle and I definitely have noodle child syndrome 🤣. I tell everyone I was put on this Earth to wear what the oldest can't wear anymore and get beat for what the baby did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827360 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 17:03:54 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2827360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: This is interesting to me because I always felt that my sister, the middle child, was the favorite. Obviously it's going to be different for each family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827324 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 13:55:18 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2827324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am the middle child and only girl of my siblings, and I have middle child syndrome. I always had higher expectations of me as well because I was the only girl and grew up in a house where my mom insisted we be close, but never really liked me. So there are anxiety issues because of that specifically, but it always sort of felt like my brothers against me. We're all very close now, but growing up, my mom always made it very clear that my brothers were more important because they were boys. </p> <p>I have 2 boys now, and we're definitely done. My older brother has 3; Girl, boy, girl, and I feel like his middle gets looked over. I don't know if it's because of my own middle child issues or if it's because he is just quieter than his sisters are, but I feel like it's there. </p> <p>All of this to say, I have some strong feelings about not having 3 because of how forgotten the middle child is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827319 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 13:35:04 +0000 ElbieKay 2827319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well we were planning on two kids, but baby #2 turned out to be twins. So if this is an issue, then que sera sera because we are definitely not going to have a fourth!</p> <p>I don't think it's realistic to engineer the relationships between your children. I understand your concern but I don't think it would be the determining factor for me in terms of whether or not to have a third. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827300 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 12:20:55 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2827300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the youngest of three, our family was boy, girl, girl. I don't think any of us felt like a third wheel, but we weren't super close in age either (my brother was 6 1/2 years older than me, my sister was almost 3 years older than me). My brother and sister clashed a lot when we were young kids (their personalities were very similar, both very head strong lol), but my sister and I, and my brother and I always got along well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827281 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 11:00:09 +0000 Silva 2827281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: four is so many 😱 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827278 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 10:48:16 +0000 Iced Tea 2827278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It’s a very interesting discussion. I’m one of three where we were less close to the sister who was both a lot younger and very different in personality. I feel that there would have been less distance if our parents made more effort to treat us equally (she escaped discipline because she was the “baby”). We avoided playing with her as much as we could because she was a troublemaker, and we knew we’d be getting in trouble instead of her.<br /> That said, I am a little bit closer to her now than my other sister because we are the two moms now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827277 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 10:42:37 +0000 skipra 2827277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I was 100% done when I was pregnant with #3. Now I would totally do it again, so.... Don't get rid of all your baby stuff right away? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827276 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 10:29:57 +0000 Silva 2827276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: I mean, its a dumb decision on all accounts. I was really hoping I"d feel more certain about being done with this pregnancy than I am....we'll see. Maybe 3 will cook me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827273 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 10:28:58 +0000 skipra 2827273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are young but already I have started to notice and it makes me so sad to see. My youngest is 1.5 and wants to play with his older brothers but often they will try to "hide" from him and don't want him to play because he destroys things or doesn't understand how to play with them yet. Other times my oldest will be annoyed with the second so will take the youngest to play and exclude the middle brother. I am also one of three but much younger so growing up often felt left out. Now I live closer to one sister and we both have kids but our other sister does not so I know she feels like the black sheep sometimes. With DH, also one of three, his sister has ostracized him so same thing. They will have family time without him.<br /> @Silva: I do wish we could have 4 too for the same reason! Not in the cards for us but I totally agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827265 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:55:12 +0000 josina 2827265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up the oldest of 2 sisters, there was definitely 2 on 1 most of the time. There is 11 months between me and middle sister, and 18 months between her and youngest.</p> <p>When we were little it was the two younger vs. me. I remember playing 'spy' and spying on them playing, lol, at least it taught me some independence.<br /> As teen's, it was me and the youngest because our personalities are more similar. We were mean though to middle sister!<br /> As far as our parents, I never felt left out, although the youngest was and is still the baby. :)</p> <p>I have a younger brother too, but he's 7 years younger and we've never been close because of the huge gap! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827250 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:16:28 +0000 mdf106 2827250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is one of three (all boys) and I don't think there is much issue. There is a 4 year gap between the first two, and a less than 2 year gap between the second two. The younger two fought a lot as children, but all three are close as adults. We are currently trying for a third (2.5 year gap between two boys and at least 3 years between the second two).</p> <p>ETA My mom is one of three (two brothers) and I think she did feel left out, but it was largely due to favoritism of her parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827249 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:15:14 +0000 Sams Mom 2827249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am the middle child of 3 girls. Sometimes it sucked, other times it was amazing. My older sister is 2y4m older than me and my little sister is 23m younger than me. I haven't really ever got along great with my older sister (now that we're older it's not bad really just not like besties or anything), but that is due to her personality. She is a huge people pleaser, social chameleon that won't stand up for herself and goes along with whatever to make whoever happy... I am not any of those things. My little sister I am closer with but our personalities are much the same. I was the odd man out at times ("the other one" because they look like twins), and other times I was part of the 2 in the 2 against 1. I don't think being 1 of 3 made it any harder. </p> <p>Now my mom is the youngest of 3, oldest is a boy, middle is a girl. My mom is almost 5 years younger than her sister, and she says it was almost like being an only child instead of the youngest of 3. Her sister used to treat her like my mom ruined her life because she had been the baby for so long, but my aunt is kind of a rip. My mom is probably closer with her brother than her sister, but she's more like her brother than her sister. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827243 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 09:01:37 +0000 Miss Flamingo 2827243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up in a group of three and I was the “alone” gender and I didn’t feel left out at all. And now as adults, one of my brother is married to a really wonderful woman so it’s like having a sister. I loved growing up in a family of 5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827241 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:54:46 +0000 snowjewelz 2827241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it really depends on personalities. Growing up I was close friends (still am) with 3 siblings roughly 2-3 years apart each. First 2 were boys, then a girl. Oldest and youngest were social; middle was a bit of a loner. As an adult after college he moved to another country to teach English and even got married/had a kid there before eventually heading back to the states. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827232 Fri, 08 Jun 2018 08:11:48 +0000 JennyPenny 2827232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was one of 3 with two younger brothers and definitely was the odd one out growing up. But now I think it's shifted because my brother and I are both married with kids and my youngest brother is far away from a relationship. I've had friends who are one of 3 say they will NEVER have 3 kids - it has to be 2 or 4. Right now we're thinking 3, maybe 4. I'm worried about the 3rd wheel feeling but also 4 kids sounds like A LOT to handle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827195 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 23:34:19 +0000 birdofafeather 2827195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in a family of 3 kids and so was DH. While you can have one that feels left out, I think it changed and also dealt with age and personality. Also, if it were just me and my brother, I wouldn’t feel like I had a close relationship with a sibling but I have my younger sister who I’ve gotten closer to, where my bro and sis were closer growing up. DH has a twin sister and older sister and they each have different relationships with the two girls being best friends! </p> <p>We have 3 girls and I expect allegiances to change over the years but then I also hope that at some point, they’ll each have at least one sibling to feel close to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827181 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 20:12:54 +0000 Silva 2827181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pregnant with #3, and kind of suspect we are going to talk ourselves into a 4th for this reason. I'm equal parts horrified and excited.</p> <p>ETA: We have girl, boy, and are expecting a girl. Age gap is 3.5 years for the first two, and will be 2 years for the second two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827178 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 19:48:17 +0000 bhbee 2827178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We’re about to have GBG and the gaps are 3 and 3.5 years. I expect third wheel stuff to happen but hope they can all be close at times. A good friend is 5 years older than her sister - they are super close now but I don’t think it worked as well at say 17 and 12. I figure my older two are already close, the younger two will spend more time at home together since oldest is already in elementary and I SAH for now, the oldest will “Little mommy” the baby ... and it will all change as years go by.<br /> But even two siblings aren’t always close, I think personality really is a huge factor that you can’t control. Clearly I’m biased though since we’re already having a third! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827177 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 19:47:21 +0000 justjules 2827177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My close friend has 3 and she read an article about this- how 3 is the hardest number because of this reason- harder than 4! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827171 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 19:33:54 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2827171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: We have a similar situation and similar hopes! Haha. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827166 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 19:18:33 +0000 misolee 2827166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have girl, boy, girl. There’s a 3.5 age gap and then 2. I’m hoping the girls will be close even though there’s a 5 year gap. I’m hoping #2 and 3 will be close because there’s only 2 year gap. Also I’m hoping #1 and 2 are close just because. I’m hoping for a lot of things :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827153 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 17:48:03 +0000 crazydoglady 2827153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friends cautioned me against having a 3rd because her middle daughter is constantly left out. I had never thought of that before. We are stopping at 2 for our own reasons, so it wouldn't be a factor to not have a 3rd but something to be aware of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827151 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 17:36:29 +0000 Foodnerd81 2827151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is he oldest of 3 boys and his mom has said they pretty much always paired off to gang up on one brother- but the allegiances changed all the time. So yes there was usually a third wheel but who that was depended on the day. They have a two year gap between each. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827149 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 17:18:28 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2827149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's possible, but it will mostly depend on their personalities. We have 3, both younger ones adore the oldest but as they are closer in age the middle had a hard time adjusting. The "left out" gender is the middle, so personally I kind of think that helps the dynamic. But I feel like you never really know until it's too late anyway.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-3-kids-always-lead-to-a-3rd-wheel-feeling#post-2827146 Thu, 07 Jun 2018 16:40:05 +0000 DesertDreams88 2827146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH &amp; I are pretty decided and hopeful for a #3 eventually. But I just realized this morning, will having 3 kids mean that there's often a 3rd wheel feeling for one of them? What has you experience been as a parent or a child?</p> <p>FWIW, we have a boy and a girl, so one gender would be "alone." Also, LO1 &amp; LO2 have a 2 year age gap, but we're thinking a 3 year age gap minimum for LO3 (though sometimes I fantasize about bumping up our timeline!) I worry that the bigger gap could create more of the 3rd wheel feeling? </p>