https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 00:38:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated/page/2#post-2906134 Tue, 17 Dec 2019 13:44:07 +0000 JJ2626 2906134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope this doesn’t annoy you more but just to show the other side, I wish my 22 month old would cling to me and touch me! Haha She is always go go go and has never ever been clingy or particularly affectionate. So when she does hug and kiss it is amazing! Anyway, this is just a grass is always greener perspective. 😊 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906126 Tue, 17 Dec 2019 13:21:34 +0000 JennyPenny 2906126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this thread because being "touched out" really resonates with me and I definitely struggle with how to have it not negatively affect my relationship with DH. Another challenge I have is that both my kids are fairly clingy and snuggly, but my 5 year old is incredibly ungraceful about it. He comes to snuggle and I get elbows to the head or side, he fidgets a ton so there is constant shaking or bumping, it drives me batty. But my 2 year old is way more graceful and calm. He can gently sit next to me or in my lap with no pain or annoyance and it's usually very nice. I hate that I end up reprimanding my 5 year old all the time and telling him I need space, but I don't have to do the same with my 2 year old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906106 Tue, 17 Dec 2019 09:55:08 +0000 foodiebee 2906106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Lol this meme sounds like my dog every morning, staring at me through the shower door because she wants attention and the baby isn't with me hogging it all. XD I'm like....LET ME SHOWER IN PEACE! PLEASE! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906103 Tue, 17 Dec 2019 09:38:25 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2906103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my boys are clingers as well as DW. I blame her genes! Even our late dog was a clinger. We joke that in our house we all occupy the same 5 square feet of space at all times. I’m definitely not a touchy feely person so I need to step away A LOT. My 5yo absolutely loves to drape himself on me at all times and loves to wrestle so I give him times when I will do that but I’ll set a timer for him and that’s it. We always do a hug/snuggle in the morning too because he needs that. He protests for more but we try to tell him about consent and physical space to encourage that. It’s getting easier as he gets older to set those boundaries. The little dude is more a clinger to DW thankfully, so when kiddos go to bed, we both have our space and then we snuggle later on together. It’s hard when they are so little and needy but I think teaching respect of space and bodies is important when they get older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906081 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 21:18:55 +0000 Mrs. Cereal 2906081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: :grin: :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906074 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 21:04:28 +0000 crazydoglady 2906074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Cereal: Speaking of. 😂🤣😘 </p> [attach=8671/19/q2mwfh.450x600.20191216_152100.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906066 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 17:40:31 +0000 jaguar 2906066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>37 weeks pregnant and ALL TOUCHED OUT RIGHT NOW.</p> <p>My girls are 3 and almost 7 and obviously sensing the changes about to hit them, because they're next level needy at the moment. I'm craving a few nights of alone sleep, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906064 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 17:06:38 +0000 periwinklebee 2906064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: @josina: @bhbee: yes, my toddler LOVES the shower (I thought little kids weren't supposed to like to shower?) and will stand there begging to come in with me 😂 We're doing a major reno, which includes the master bath. If it ever gets done, I am fantasizing about having my husband take the kids out of the house and just relaxing there for 10 minutes in peace... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906056 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 16:04:04 +0000 bhbee 2906056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: ha yes the bathroom! Our door has a bunch of dents from where I once locked then 1 year old ds out (he liked to come sit on my lap :shocked: ) and he took a potato masher to the door in protest ...</p> <p>This also reminded me of an animation I can’t find now - the kids appear to be watching rain sadly out the window and then it zooms out and they’re standing there while mom showers :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906054 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 15:49:25 +0000 josina 2906054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: 90% of the time DD jumps in the shower with me. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906042 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 14:04:09 +0000 Mrs. Cereal 2906042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I often joke that my 4 year old's ideal location would be to climb into my skin. But in all seriousness, I have two needy kids who love cuddles and hugs and a lot of physical contact. My son is more snuggly but my daughter is almost aggressive in her neediness and physical touch preferences and it is really hard for me to not shy away from that. I am not a particularly touchy feely person, so I have to work pretty hard to be that for my kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906034 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 13:40:47 +0000 graceandjoy 2906034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: Or if we happen to be jumping into the shower during weird times when the kids are around. They NEVER bother DH but when I take a shower they are always coming in to have like full on conversations with me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2906015 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 12:42:47 +0000 crazydoglady 2906015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for the commiseration. I feel guilty because it's too much sometimes even though I WOH. I told my husband last night that I feel guilty sometimes for not enjoying it more and he said, "being a great mom doesn't mean being a professional mom." That's true! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905994 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 11:39:14 +0000 gotkimchi 2905994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: @erinbaderin: yes we have 2 cats who won’t leave me alone and want to sleep on top of me. Before kids I loved them and after kids my tolerance for them is so low </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905990 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 11:25:46 +0000 ilovepie 2905990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: they can come out to go pee. 5 year old definitely wants to talk to me but I either go in my room and shut the door or just ask him to wait till after nap. I have to remind them often that nap time is supposed to be quiet time. 3 year old has a bathroom in his room so I just have to go up to wipe him sometimes.<br /> They are allowed to take library books to their room for nap time but bring them out afterwards. I set their ok to wake clocks for two hours and when they turn green they can come out. I think having the countdown helps somehow. a few times they've really not obeyed and I reset their clocks to add 5 minutes. We've done two hours for so long it's not even a big deal, but I wouldn't start there if your kid isn't used to quiet time. Sometimes we get busy out and about and only do 1 hour. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905988 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 11:20:37 +0000 josina 2905988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: lol, yes to the bathroom! Even if the door is locked DD is sitting outside the door crying because she wants in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905987 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 11:16:44 +0000 nwm 2905987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: omg this. I feel bad for my cat but like I have no time for him these days. And he is really clingy (to me only—not into other people especially my affectionate kiddos) such that if I close a door partway eg to the bathroom, he’ll open it wide open, and if I close it tightly, he’ll sit outside it and scratch on it and meow. It is honestly another whole degree of suffocation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905983 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 11:02:51 +0000 graceandjoy 2905983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For sure. Esp when they nurse too and you're literally the only person that can do that job. Both my girls are total mama's girls. DH can spend an hour browsing on his phone because the girls just want me to read to them, me to play with them, etc haha. But I also learned to shove them to him more. DD1 became more balanced with parental preference after DD2 was born; so I'm hoping DD2 will continue to balance herself out once DS3 is born. </p> <p>But it has also gotten better now that the girls are 5 and 3; they can play alone for a pretty long time sometimes. </p> <p>I have a love-hate relationship with it haha. I love that they need me so much, esp when I think about when they get older they won't! But sometimes I'm also like CAN'T I JUST GO TO THE BATHROOM IN PEACE!! </p> <p>@gotkimchi: @josina: Totally this too! I think the only way I haven't gone insane is b/c I work and mostly at my desk and not bothered by people too much :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905981 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 10:57:41 +0000 gotkimchi 2905981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: this is my biggest problem, I’m so touched out I’m never alone and I just want to be left alone when the kids are in bed then my husband wants attention! Which I know he and our relationship need but damn I just want to be alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905980 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 10:56:35 +0000 josina 2905980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! My kids (2 and 5) are on me all the time when I'm home. I tell them I want to sit down and relax, and they both pile on top of me to 'relax' too, lol. Love them to pieces but it's tough being needed non-stop; and then when they finally go to bed, DH want's attention! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905976 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 10:37:19 +0000 skinnycow 2905976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely not alone. I love my 5 month old so much but when I'm not at work she's with me 100% of the time. She cries when I walk away and won't sleep anywhere but right next to me. I know it's just a phase and one day she'll want my husband (my 3.5 year old does most of the time) but it doesn't make it any easier. I just want to sit on the couch by myself with a glass of wine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905954 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 08:59:12 +0000 catgirl 2905954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD is five so in a lot of ways this has gotten better but I still find it hard because I am basically her playmate at home. When she was little I would get touched out and now I get talked out. She is just constantly talking to me or narrating her every move and I just really miss silence. </p> <p>@LadyDi: My DD still naps 50% of the time but if she isn’t sleeping she still has to be in her room for two hours each afternoon. She can leave her room to go to the bathroom but has to go right back to her room. She can take a water bottle to her room with her. And I will refill it once if she drinks it all, then she has to wait. We cycle which quiet (ish) toys are in her room. Right now her box of magnatiles and her dollhouse are there. Sometimes it’s the trains and tracks or a box of dolls with accessories. That way she doesn’t get bored. She can also look at books. We have been debating getting her an echo dot to listen to music or podcasts but haven’t found it necessary yet. We both benefit from the down time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905953 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 08:56:14 +0000 periwinklebee 2905953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: @Aria: @erinbaderin: I WOH, but still often feel this way about being touched. I'm pregnant and have a clingy toddler who still LOVES to nurse - it's a struggle to get him off the boob - so often feel like I'm being tugged and pulled at both from the outside and inside. I think it's really important for my relationship with DH to have physical affection because it's a key way that both of us communicate, but over the past few months frequently I just can't handle being touched anymore by the end of the day! :meh: </p> <p>@crazydoglady: My son is approaching 2 now, and after months of steady increase in clinginess, knock on wood, it seems to be getting a little better. Hang in there, and do what you need to do to preserve sanity. If you don't have family nearby to help, would a babysitter/mother's helper on either Sat or Sun morning some weekends be an option to get some much deserved alone time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905947 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 08:03:07 +0000 LadyDi 2905947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ilovepie: what are your rules for their “nap”? Do they stay in their room to play? I have trouble enforcing this for my 4yo for longer than 30-40 minutes. And during that time he inevitably has to go to the bathroom (which he can do by himself but always tells me about), is thirsty, or comes out of his room with things he has to tell me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905939 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 07:01:37 +0000 ilovepie 2905939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids have had mandatory 2 hour "nap" time forever and it saves my sanity. We've had rough patches enforcing it especially when they stopped sleeping, but now they are very good about it. I think my 5 year old may be a bit of an introvert and it helps him reset too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905929 Mon, 16 Dec 2019 05:31:40 +0000 erinbaderin 2905929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: Ugh, me too - I just need personal space by the end of the day. It’s also a problem with our cats, who basically get no attention, because the kids go to bed and they come out looking for pets and I just don’t have it in me to give anybody else any attention, human or feline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905923 Sun, 15 Dec 2019 22:52:49 +0000 Aria 2905923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: Similar situation here. I like staying at home and I love my husband but by the end of the day I don’t want to be touched. AT ALL. </p> <p>It’s been tricky to navigate with DH, but I know things will improve eventually as the baby gets older. I just feel so much guilt in the meantime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905921 Sun, 15 Dec 2019 22:16:20 +0000 LadyDi 2905921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, for sure. I SAH with my 4.5 yo, 22 month old, and 5 month old (who is nursing). Since the 4 yo doesn't nap anymore most days I am with at least one kid from 6am to 9pm. It's hard. I try to make sure he has some "quiet time" in his room while the other two nap in the afternoon so I can get at least 20-30 minutes by myself. The month old won't nap for more than a half hour either and it's just exhausting and suffocating sometimes. I get very "touched out" by the end of the day and when we go to bed if my husband wants to cuddle (let alone DTD) I basically recoil. I spend the whole day basically with someone clinging to me and when I go to bed I want to be left alone. </p> <p>I think that makes me sound terrible, but I love spending time with my kids...it's just hard when ALL of them are this little and I don't get much of a break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905912 Sun, 15 Dec 2019 20:41:05 +0000 DesertDreams88 2905912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids aren't clingy at all but I just really miss setting my own agenda or having a day to myself. Like, I've been home for 6 hours today and 4-5(!!) Of that has been spent cleaning, when all I wanted to do was sit on my ass, watch Netflix, grade, and lesson plan. Like I legit WANT to do my job.</p> <p>The sunday night after Thanksgiving break, I was actually looking forward to going back to work. 8th graders can be way more fun and easier than toddlers, turns out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-feel-suffocated#post-2905907 Sun, 15 Dec 2019 20:06:20 +0000 JennyPenny 2905907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! I feel this way too. It’s one of many reasons I feel good about being a WOHM and I don’t mind when I have to take work trips away from the kids. I’ve also realized that since having my own kids I have almost no desire to hold someone else’s baby. I’m sure it’ll change again when mine are older, but for now the break is nice </p>