https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 13:39:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1146114 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 18:35:42 +0000 Ocean girl 1146114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, and make to absolute most of your vacation time! Plan trips, do awesome staycations, snuggle on the couch in sweats with junk food. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1146107 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 18:32:07 +0000 Ocean girl 1146107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: agree - it gets worse before it gets better. DH is in 4th year of his Urology residency and has become more busy and unavailable as he's gained more responsibility. </p> <p>@MamaCate: I feel for you - so many dinners made and gone cold, plans made then broken and so on. We only just had our first LO 7 weeks ago, and I have to say I have the utmost respect for those that go the whole way through med school and residency with babies in tow! My advice: try to avoid making plans when he's working. There will always be another consult or one last quick case or an impromptu teaching session that will undoubtedly side track him. Instead, tell him to text you if he gets unexpected free time and make a last minute plan to hang out, even if its just a walk with the kids or a quick coffee at work. </p> <p>Keep on trucking! There is a light at the end of the tunnel :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1146100 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 18:25:31 +0000 OldEnglandMama 1146100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: Mine is based in central Maine for the rest of third year. He has one two-week elective that the school is letting him take as paternity leave in early March (awesome!) and a "community" rotation (whatever that means) that he's trying to set up with an OMM specialist close to me in Mass (DH is a DO student) that will be around the time I'm due. As for what he's going to do for 4th year...we have no idea. Any tips or advice for setting up those sub-I's/audition rotations? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1146094 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 18:20:25 +0000 OldEnglandMama 1146094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Baby Boy Mom: @winniebee: Me too! Crapola sounds *amazing* right now. DH didn't start med school until the year he turned 30 - I swear we will never be able to retire :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1146082 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 18:12:15 +0000 OldEnglandMama 1146082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: There is! Lives of Doctors Wives. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/groups/livesofdoctorwives" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/groups/livesofdoctorwives</a><br /> It's a pretty diverse group, I've found them really helpful so far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1146067 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 17:59:32 +0000 MamaCate 1146067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@OldEnglandMama: @smocks: @Baby Boy Mom: med school wives unite! DH is applying for peds residencies now, so we are looking at starting sub-I in about two weeks, then a month of interview/step 2 travel, then Christmas, a month home, and a month in Guatemala! What are yours planning to do??</p> <p>@winniebee: I know that residency won't be a walk in the park either. I plan to work less then, although we will also be adding another LO to the mix, so I am hoping that helps a little. It is a really long road...but it will be nice to finally have another source of income! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1146063 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 17:54:50 +0000 MamaCate 1146063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, ladies! Even though it helps to know I am not alone, it sucks that so many if us are subjected to so much instability! </p> <p>Like some others have said, I have gotten used to a lot if craziness but DH is on an outpatient rotation now which is "supposed" to be easier schedule wise. While he is not at work at 6 am, thankfully, he seems to be overly optimistic about the schedule demands if this one and makes plans that he can't follow through with. </p> <p>When I know it is going to suck it is easier to prepare for but these unexpected curveballs are still harder... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1146004 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 17:03:17 +0000 winniebee 1146004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Baby Boy Mom: yes crapolas definitely better than nothing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145997 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:59:19 +0000 HLK208 1145997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. DH doesn't know his schedule until Thursday for the following week. We can't plan anything unless he takes a vacation :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145996 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:58:56 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1145996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: sign me up! At this point I'll be happy earning crapola... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145988 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:53:41 +0000 bpcmarj 1145988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. DH is a fisherman, but doesn't yet run his own boat so he is very much at the boss' beckon call. It sucks royally and changes by the day and sometimes throughout the day. He's had to,miss weddings and funerals. Basically I just don't make plans for the 3 of us. If DH ends up having the day off when I have already made plans, he will come with us. It has been much harder now that wr have a LO. I feel for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145987 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:53:13 +0000 StbHisMrs 1145987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Commiseration here too, my husband works for the railroad as an engineer. He's on call 24/7 and it really sucks! When he gets called to work he has 1.5 hours to get there and we live 45 minutes away, then he's on the rails for 12 hours, rest in whatever city he's been sent to for 10+ hours, then another 12 hours back to his home port. So basically he's gone for 1.5-2 days at a time, and all of our plans go out the window. It is exactly like being a single wife ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145975 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:35:12 +0000 cmbknyc 1145975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep my DH works in film and his schedule is unpredictable and very long hours. We've had to reschedule our honeymoon, vacations, important meetings - you name it we've rescheduled it haha! It very frustrating but he has such a passion for his work that I can't stay too annoyed. I do worry about sonograms and impt dr appt when the time comes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145958 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:22:03 +0000 winniebee 1145958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like there should be a support group for spouses of doctors. Ppl think its glamorous but they don't know the truth and that they get paid crapola until age like 35!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145957 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:21:31 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1145957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: my DH is also 4th year med student! His schedule is rough! Lots of solo parenting for me and we basically never make plans ahead of time anymore. Boo! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145952 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:20:11 +0000 winniebee 1145952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate to say jt but it will get worse before it gets better!!My husband is an Ortho surgery fellow (finished 5 yr residency in June). Residency was worse than med school and I would say 2nd and 5th yrs of residency were the worst. . This is the first year we have had any relief. It's a long road, especially when you add a kid to the mix! </p> <p>I'm a type A planner so it was very difficult for me for awhile to go with the flow. Because with a career like that its all you can do. I have had many disappointing broken plans, gone solo to countless weddings, and have spent many holidays without him. During resodench we lived close to family and friends so I just sort of had to plan my weekends without him and hope he could join if not on call. I got used to being more independent. </p> <p>I hope it gets better for you soon. In the meantime keep on trucking and try to be as supportive as possible - it's harder on him than you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145929 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:02:42 +0000 lemondrop 1145929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it's gotten better over time and gaining seniority at jobs (veterinary medicine), but we both have appointment and surgery days that get out of control and getting lunch or getting out by dinner is impossible. My schedule has gotten better/more flexible/odder hours since I've started teaching part-time, so it helps when his hours lack flexibility.</p> <p>Luckily since we are both in the same field, we totally understand when the other can't escape. We are also used to the randomness of days off, it's just part of the gig. We try to have the occasional lunch dates, but it doesn't always work out, so we don't try it too often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145914 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 15:53:57 +0000 OldEnglandMama 1145914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smocks: Oh man, 4 months? Ugh. Yeah, DH, since I met him 8 years ago, has always wanted to do Family or possibly Psych. Now, 1.5 rotations into 3rd year, he really liked Haem/Onc and Internal...and doesn't know what he wants anymore. It means everytime I do get to see him/talk to him the topic of conversation revolves around him freaking out over what he should be setting up for next year. I feel like he should aim for Internal for now since it will keep more opportunities open down the road. Did your DH always know Emergency was his thing? </p> <p>I fear that your hopes for scheduled life after rotations might be wishful thinking - but a girl can certainly dream! I'm really looking forward to living in the same place again. (Sleeping in the same bed as your husband (even if it's not at the same time) does wonders for your marriage I find :P) For now, we're just hoping that he can get some of his rotations set up nearby because LO is due at the end of February and it would be nice if they could know their daddy :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145899 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 15:41:09 +0000 loveisstrange 1145899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Commiseration here too. DH is military and works long hours and I never know whats going on. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145889 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 15:33:39 +0000 kentuckygirl 1145889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>.@Mrs. Twine: @Ash: My dad is a farmer, so I understand your life style too. It's tough! At least it prepared me for my husband's unpredictible schedule. My dad has commented on how much my DH is like him in regards to work ethic/work hours </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145888 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 15:33:35 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1145888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH doesn't. It has only been this way for 10 days since he got a recent promotion, and it has been a difficult transition to say the least.</p> <p>He ALWAYS works 1-11PM (but it usually ends up being 12:30-11:30) but his days off are all over the place! Sometimes he will work 7 days in a row, with then a random Mon/Tues off, then work 4 days in a row, with a random Sun/Mon off. It is very unpredictable and very hard to manage my work schedule around his.</p> <p>To be honest, I don't even know how to deal because it is so new to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145882 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 15:30:29 +0000 kentuckygirl 1145882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH owns a small business supplying commercial gases. He often has to change or cancel personal plans to accommodate his customers needs. He called me before our IVF and said he may be late because a nursing home was out of oxygen for their patients. YOU CAN'T BE LATE FOR IVF! Fortunately he found another way to work it out but only after I called my nurse in a panic. </p> <p>Now that I am PG he is already worrying about being hours away when I go into labor and missing the delivery. </p> <p>His work schedule is tough on both of us at times but I know he is working so hard now in hopes that things will be better by the time our LO arrives. I admire his dedication even when I am frustrated that he can't be somewhere with me. As a small business owner, his reputation, livelihood, and in some cases peoples lives are on the line, which is a lot of responsibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145849 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 15:14:43 +0000 smocks 1145849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: @OldEnglandMama: I'm right there with you ladies. My DH is a 4th year med student as well, he's in the middle of 4 solid months of ER rotations and I've only seen him sleeping this week (he's been getting home at 4am, starting work at 5pm, and I work full time 8a-5p). Do you know what your husbands want to go into in residency yet? DH is going for emergency med, so I assume this is how our life will be from here on out, haha. At least once they are past rotations, they might have their schedules more than a month in advance? *hopeful thinking* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145825 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 14:59:32 +0000 Caly 1145825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. I'm so sorry, that sucks! DH used to work for the government &amp; would often get calls at the last minute that he had to go to an event, meeting or there would be some sort of emergency. He would get calls all hours of the day &amp; sometimes it would mess up our weekend or evening plans. Irked me to no end...I hope you guys are able to spend some uninterrupted time together soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145823 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 14:58:06 +0000 Ash 1145823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: same! I have a love/hate relationship with harvest season. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145817 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 14:53:16 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1145817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Commiseration here, as well. Mine is a farmer, so weather makes a big difference. Yesterday, for example, he was gone from 5:30am until 10:30pm. Today he came in unexpectedly at lunch due to some rain, and then will likely be gone again late tonight. It's gotten to the point that I don't usually mind so much. I have definitely had to learn to be flexible and not get too attached to plans, because they don't always work out the way we, well, plan them to. Hope you get to spend some nice time together soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145813 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 14:49:31 +0000 OldEnglandMama 1145813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice but I can commiserate. DH is a 3rd year med student. He's doing his clinicals 3 hours away :( We try and see each other on the weekends. He's supposed to be driving down this evening but isn't sure what time he'll escape (he's on Family right now, so easy but sooo disorganised) so it could be in time for dinner, or it could be 11PM. </p> <p>On the plus side, I guess we'll be prepared for away rotations next year! The life of a single-wife sucks...a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-dh-with-no-control-over-his-schedule#post-1145798 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 14:37:20 +0000 MamaCate 1145798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If so, how do you handle it? </p> <p>DH is a 4th year med student. Today we were supposed to meet at my office for lunch because he is working nearby. This would be eating our lunches from home so not exactly glamorous but I was still looking forward to it. Long story short, he is not done yet and I have another meeting in 20 minutes so I will miss him. Also, his lunch is here at my office so I am not sure how he will eat.</p> <p>This is the second time in 2 days something like this has happened (yesterday involved daycare pick up and dinner plans), and I am just really feeling sad and frustrated...being pregnant doesn't help either. </p> <p>Rant over...but advice or commiserations from other would help! :happy: </p>