https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 11:46:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389815 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 19:40:49 +0000 erinbaderin 2389815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bennett really isn't independent - he has bouts of "I do it!" but they're rare and mostly involve taking off his coat. He likes to try things himself sometimes but after a few attempts it's "help pease". Otherwise he's pretty much attached to us at all times - ideally I'd be holding him but he'll settle for holding my hand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389695 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 17:24:41 +0000 Rockies11 2389695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: My 2.5 year old is the least independent 2.5 year old that I know. She is 5x more needy and less independent than my baby. Her perfect day is lying in my arms, being hand fed while she directs me where to walk by shouting "MOMMY DO IT".<br /> She's been in daycare and playgroups, big outings, small groups, one on one playmates, etc. I have consulted with the pediatrician and child development experts. My final diagnosis is that she is a stage 5 clinger and nothing that I can do will change her personality. So anyway, I feel for you because I know no other children like this. It's a challenging personality for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389656 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:42:33 +0000 HLK208 2389656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that sounds like normal behavior for a 2 year old! There's quite a few kids in E's threes class who still aren't into the other kids yet (but they cling to the teachers).</p> <p>E was very, very clingy to me between 2-3 and I also think it's because I'm a SAHM. I was honestly so worried. But by 3.5 she's completely opposite now. She's really enjoys other kids and is starting to be more independent. I would say give it some time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389607 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:04:23 +0000 yoursilverlining 2389607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3.5 year old isn’t very independent – depending on how you define it. Like, she can and will play independently and imaginatively for long periods of time, but she is extremely cautious and would prefer to be around me and holding my hand 24/7. She would much prefer to be carried or worn instead of walking, and she doesn’t act up much at all / tantrum / etc. (which I’m soooooooooooooo thankful for!!!!) She also plays mostly by herself on the playground at school, although she’s very happy and has tons of friends at school. I remember being like that as a kid as well, so I think this is just in her genes too. </p> <p>If your son is only in school 2 days a week, it’s likely going to take him a LONG time to adjust. They don’t recommend less than 3 days a week at our center for that reason; because it’s hard to create a safe and secure routine for littles without the near everyday consistency. I imagine this would be especially true for shy or more inward-expressed little ones and it definitely was true for my LO when we had her in school just 3 days a week instead of 5. So, I'm sure additional time will help. </p> <p>What I do to foster independence is when we’re together I encourage LO to do things on her own and to help me with whatever I’m doing. I keep increasing the amount of independence in the activity as we go, and decreasing my involvement if it’s a child-led activity. For example, we went to a birthday at an indoor trampoline park. Of course, E would have *nothing* to do with it. She wouldn’t even step onto the part that wasn’t “solid”. So, I told her I’d hold both her hands while she stepped onto the trampoline part and jumped. Then after a few jumps we moved to me only holding one hand….then no hands. Granted, she was never like “oh yay, I’ll do this on my own now” but it worked that day to build up her confidence and independence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389479 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 14:32:08 +0000 Cherrybee 2389479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>E is super confident, adventurous and wild but, oh Lord, she constantly needs an audience. At home, she wont do anything alone - she needs me to watch intently, while she provides a running commentary. She wont even watch a TV show alone - if I go into another room to do something, she comes and takes me by the hand and leads me back to the TV. If I try to talk to DH, she will repeat "mummy" or wail until I address her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389467 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 14:26:01 +0000 raintreebee 2389467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could have written your post about my 22 month old. In fact, just last night I shed tears worrying that his lack of independence was part of bigger problems (although I am 35 weeks pregnant, which may be a part of my reaction :)). "Mommy do it, daddy do it...." over and over.... We also aren't helicopter parents at all. He also is enrolled in a program two times a week. It has helped somewhat but certainly hasn't cured him of it! I just think I need to accept that this is who he is. And that eventually he will learn independence. At least yours can play independently at home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389448 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 14:18:54 +0000 Alivoo01 2389448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 2.5, but has gone to a daycare/Montessori since he was 4 months old. While he's been around other kids, he's still shy around outsiders/strangers. Even the adults and kids we see often. It usually takes him a little bit to warm up to them. Once he does, he'll go play with them like he's been their BFFs forever.</p> <p>However, up until recently, even if he wanted to play with other kids, he wanted me nearby and refused to go off on his own (which is great if we're at the park, but at a house party, I just want to chill with the other ladies and talk). Or he'd prefer to hang on to me vs going off to play. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389425 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 14:01:29 +0000 jhd 2389425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a sahm and LO is quite independent at home, but outside the home he wants me right there with him. He will go down the slide at the playground, for example, but wants me to be right there at the bottom waiting for him! He is only 19 months and I figure with time he will get more comfortable. I try to ignore all the frustrating comments from my ILs about how he's too attached to mommy! He has been going to the nursery at church since the spring and is getting more comfortable with that. My mom also watches him two mornings per week and he does great with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389356 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 13:13:36 +0000 Ra 2389356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: I'm a SAHM so he's mainly been around me, too. So that makes sense. He started the Twos program this year but it's only 2 mornings a week. His teacher mentioned that he was starting to open up some so maybe he just needs more time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389316 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:55:18 +0000 mrsjyw 2389316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A loves doing things on his own (eating, cleanign, dressing, etc.) but is the same as B as far as new experiences and being around kids his age and making new friends.</p> <p>He's been a grandmacare kid and is consistently around adults more than kids his age. So we started school in September in hopes to help him with his socialization skills. He's adjusted really well, esp considering it's the first time he's been away from anyone aside from family members caring for him. While the dropoffs were an easy transition, the socializing aspect of playing WITH other kids instead of just parallel play took a month or two for him to really feel comfortable around his school friends.</p> <p>He still tends to avoid big crowds of kids, but he's come a long way. It always helps a lot for us to tell him advance of events and such where a lot of other kids will be. And the friends he's made at school definitely have helped to bring about his more playful nature when he's around other kids his age.</p> <p>He's due to move up to preschool 3s in January and we've been showing him his new classroom for the last few weeks. The teachers are going to do visits this wk and next wk to get him acclimated too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-else-have-a-kid-who-isnt-independent#post-2389309 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:50:23 +0000 Ra 2389309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 2.5-year-old isn't really independent. I'm pretty sure his most used phrase is "mommy/daddy do it." He CAN do things but prefers for us to do them for him or with him. He's super cautious when we are out of the house and doesn't really try new things at the playground or other play places without a ton of encouragement and us doing it with him several times. At the playground he tends to want to stick with us instead of running off and playing with other kids. </p> <p>Today, at pick up, his assistant teacher commented on how he just wanted her to hold him all day. She also commented how when they go out to play he prefers to hold her hand and play with her than run and explore with the other kids. </p> <p>I'm not sure how to encourage more independence. We are far from a helicopter parents and try to give him plenty of space but he will cry and freak out if we don't help when he asks us to. </p> <p>Does anyone have any suggestions? I feel like I have the only toddler who isn't crazy independent. </p> <p>I should add that he plays well alone at home. He doesn't need us to entertain him constantly it's mainly in new environments or trying new things. Although, he does it sometimes with basic tasks like drawing, picking up a drink, feeding himself, etc. </p>