https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 17:31:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1990287 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:34:14 +0000 Torchwood 1990287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just dropped the drawing names this year with my mom's family. Honestly it's a huge relief, because only one person in the group ever spent anything close to the budgeted amount. We always did, so it felt we were just spending a bunch for nothing. And I know it is NOT about the amount, but these are people we rarely see and barely know, so trust me, they weren't super thoughtful gifts (except for the one person). I think me and the one other person were the only ones who had gifts as a love language, so the rest just didn't care. Though since these are all cousins, not siblings, we don't buy anything for their kids so I'm pretty sure that whole story is irrelevant to the question. Our parents all still exchange gifts in addition to buying for the actual kids (so not us, just the teen and below crowd). But it really sucks because my mom is super broke and can NOT afford to be buying for that many people, but they won't drop it (they also are both married so double the income for them, and twice as many gifts for her to buy). She may just buy for the kids this year and let her siblings do what they want. </p> <p>My siblings are 12 and 15, so no kids, and we buy stuff for them. I expect we'll continue with that until they have their own income and then they can decide whether they want to continue. </p> <p>DH's siblings we haven't bought gifts for since we got married (so it's been at least 5 years), but we do buy something small for our niece, and I'm pretty sure his brothers do too. I would expect something from his sister and one brother for sure once we have kids. I think DH kind of resents being expected to buy something for a 3 year old who barely knows who we are (we've met her like 4 times, ever), but I just think it's right. At least she knows her uncle cares enough to think of her on Christmas and her birthday, even if we live far away. I do know his sister absolutely expects it, and I'm pretty sure she resents that we don't spend more. But the kid is unbelievably spoiled so she is NOT hurting on gifts and toys.</p> <p>I have no idea why I wrote this novel. None of it really addressed the issue of feeling bad about it one way or the other. All that to say, yes, everyone in my family buys siblings kids, some also buy for each other, and I would consider it normal and wouldn't feel guilty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1990238 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:15:22 +0000 Mommy Finger 1990238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only buy for my nieces and nephew. We do a $20 grab bag between my brothers and SILs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988942 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 17:34:35 +0000 alohaorchid 1988942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have this rule with my husband's family. His sister has two kids that we buy for with the understanding that we don't buy for my SIL and her husband, and they don't buy for us.</p> <p>There are no kids on my side of the family so it's not really an issue yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988925 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 17:20:21 +0000 ShootingStar 1988925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Growing up, everyone only gave to the kids. But everyone in the family had 2 kids so I guess it was pretty fair? In my family we buy for everyone. In DH's family we pick a name, but last year everyone got DS presents too. I have no idea if they're doing it again or not, I kind of hope they don't because I know the gifts are more of a financial burden. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988911 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 17:05:47 +0000 FannyMae 1988911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>originally we used to buy gifts for all the adults, but it got to be too much. not enough thought was being put into what was being bought and it was like a mad rush. then kids came along and it became just buy gifts for the kids, and at most a bottle of wine per couple. I budget $50 per child (5 kids) and I bought a bottle of port and some chocolates/xmas biscuits per couple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988832 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 16:05:04 +0000 mauxie 1988832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started doing this for my side of the family a couple years ago. I love gifting my niece and nephew and my sis is also very generous with my kids. </p> <p>DHs family does gifts for everyone.. Honestly, it gets very stressful trying to figure out gifts for them year after year. DH wishes he could tell them no gifts for adults, but his parents would be wayyyyy offended so we just roll with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988801 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 15:41:58 +0000 sarac 1988801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That arrangement would make me kind of sad, but my family has recently switched to Secret Santa - so each adult just buys one gift for one other adult. I really like that - now we don't have to spend a ton of money on everyone, and each person gets one, great gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988660 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:12:06 +0000 mrsjyw 1988660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None of the adults in our families ever exchanged gifts. Between me and my cousins there was always enough of a gap that the older ones didn't mind gifting the younger ones wo gifts in return and then soon the older cousins started having kids so it worked out. Now the rule is for gifts through college for younger cousins and gifts for the babies (3). It's really only two cousins and our three toddlers now, so not overwhelming.</p> <p>If I have energy I'll sometimes do photo gifts for my aunts and uncle.</p> <p>There's never been gifts exchanged on Dh's side. Though they gifted Ds the past few years because there hasn't been a baby in the family in a while. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988645 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:08:03 +0000 BoogieBea 1988645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We'll get the grandparents (meaning our parents) gifts but that's about it. We just give the kids gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988638 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:05:07 +0000 birdofafeather 1988638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish we could do this but even when we did a secret Santa, everyone still bought gifts for everyone else. I would love to stop having to buy for our siblings. It's hard and kinda not a joy right now. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988600 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 13:50:28 +0000 BSB 1988600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: Yeah, we've done this on my side of the family for a while now, so it's normal for us. DH's family which has been big into Christmas (stocking &amp; presents for everyone) has been getting ideas of starting something like this. Not sure how it will work out. I think for his family, it will be hard to not buy an adult something... they've done it for decades. But my MIL is realizing that almost everyone is grown and don't really need presents from other adults anymore. We are almost all old enough to buy our own gifts. Also, DH's cousin just got married so they will probably start a family soon and we might be pregnant soon... so I think a shift in gift giving will be happening soon for them. MIL told DH that she is thinking about suggesting it this Christmas for future Christmases. Lastly, I think it's financial, too. The MIL is probably thinking about the future babies that will be coming up soon and she would rather spend her money towards them instead of wracking her brain to find the right gift for one of the adult relatives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988298 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 11:10:19 +0000 MaryM 1988298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad you're thinking like this. Once we had 5 or 6 kids in my family, my siblings suggested this idea. </p> <p>Which was fine. Except that I was (eventually) buying for 11 kids. But since I didn't have kids, I wasn't getting anything in return. </p> <p>I never brought it up because christmas isn't about getting gifts for me, but it was getting to be SO expensive!</p> <p>I think they started to realize that since they've started doing stuff for DH and I more recently. It was just so awkward to sit there on Christmas with nothing to open. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988285 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 11:06:01 +0000 yin 1988285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>On my side we only buy presents for my nieces and younger sister (19). On DH's side we buy for his parents, grandfather, 6 sets of aunts and uncles, 10 cousins, sister &amp; bf, and 2 dogs. I want to put in place Secret Santa for next year to save some money. It gets out of hand, and none of the cousins exchange presents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988169 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 10:24:13 +0000 BSB 1988169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: So we have a kids and pets rule that started last year. My older sister initiated this. She has 2 teenager kids and I guess it was a way to gift to my family and my sister's family (we didn't have kids). This year, I told them they don't have to get my two dogs gifts because I spoil them enough. Between my siblings, I had to buy for 4 nephews, 1 niece, 3 dogs and 2 kittens. Haha. From my brothers point of view (he has 3 sons and no pets (shoot! They have cats! I forgot!). Anyway he has to buy for 5 dogs and 2 cats. Haha.</p> <p>My brother actually bought my dog a toy 2 years ago. The dog he got it for hated it but now that we adopted the second dog, the second dog loves that toy. Funny how things work like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988051 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 09:43:40 +0000 LuLu Mom 1988051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is how it works on both our sides (besides our parents, we do buy them gifts, just not siblings.) We didn't start doing this until everyone had children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988027 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 09:32:10 +0000 swurlygurl 1988027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Haha, that's hilarious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1988026 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 09:32:02 +0000 swurlygurl 1988026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do feel bad! That is what we're doing this year in DH's family, but BIL has 4 nieces/nephews and no kids of his own. I think DH and I are going to buy him and SIL a gift anyway, and just deal with it if it upsets his other sibling :P</p> <p>If we ever decide to do kids only with my family, I won't feel bad because my sister has kids too, so it'd be a 'fair' trade. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987979 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 09:00:11 +0000 Mamaof2 1987979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do this and when I didn't have kids I told my siblings they had to buy a gift for my dog :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987944 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 08:40:43 +0000 anonysquire 1987944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my family the adults draw names so we only get 1 gift for a sibling and then everyone gets a gift for my parents. And we don't do any gifts for the kids in the family. That's all fine and Zuma isn't expecting anything from anyone.... but that didn't stop me from buying a present for my nephew and all my future nieces (4 coming in 6 weeks). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987889 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:45:07 +0000 looch 1987889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, gifts for the kids only if the other party has kids. If the other party doesn't have kids, then I gift them a small item of some sort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987881 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:30:35 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1987881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: This year I sent a gift to my husband's cousin- she's his God daughter. Well she has two siblings and my husband insisted only gifting to her. So I also sent some caramel peanut butter chocolate bark for the entire family to enjoy too. Edible gifts are so delightful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987880 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:28:18 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1987880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Now that you mention it, we have never received a bday or X mas gift from any of our Godkids/ their parents. Honestly, I figure people with children don't have a lot of extra income to gift adults all the time. I don't mind that the gifts are given one way to the kids only. </p> <p>@catlady: growing up I received gifts from Santa, my parents, and my God parents that's it. My aunts, uncles, and grandparents did not give gifts to us either, but I think much of that has to do with the fact we didn't spend holidays or bdays together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987823 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 04:13:14 +0000 lamariniere 1987823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brother and I had this discussion last year and decided no more gifts for us, just our kids. Neither of us are really into Christmas though, so it's more of a symbolic thing. With my DH's side of the family, he mostly deals with the gift giving, but last year he only gifted the nephews and that's the plan this year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987615 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:34:30 +0000 catlady 1987615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do this in DH"s family. We used to all give each other gifts and one year we decided from then on to only gift the children. I just feel bad for MIL because she buys for her grandkids but doesn't get anything in return. We try to buy her something small "from LO". </p> <p>As a kid, I never got anything from anyone other than immediate family (not even from grandparents), so this concept of buying for nieces, nephews, cousins, etc is a little weird to me. But my extended family is huge so that's probably why. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987609 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:30:48 +0000 Tanjowen 1987609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family is all lop-sided about it. We only do gifts for nieces and nephews, but my siblings insisted on giving us gifts, which I guess kept it "even" in their minds. Now that we have a LO, we have told them to please only buy for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987604 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:23:56 +0000 photojane 1987604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brothers, their wives, and I (with my husband) don't exchange since there are lots of kids. I usually make them some kind of cheap, yummy treat though, just because I enjoy gift-giving. The kids draw names and buy a gifts for each other. But, everyone buys for my parents, and they buy for everyone. It works out well for us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987587 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:10:12 +0000 Raindrop 1987587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even when we are told this... we still give food items to adults. Like a box of chocolate or a hickory farm gift set. That has worked out well for us. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987584 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:08:26 +0000 Smurfette 1987584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My Aunts/Uncles bought me/us gifts till we have kids. Then they just buy for the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987580 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:06:21 +0000 twodoghouse 1987580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are sort of instituting this in my immediate family this year, except I ended up getting my younger siblings (without kids) some small gifts because I know they are getting things for my babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-have-a-christmas-gifts-for-kids-only-no-adults-rule#post-1987550 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 20:43:50 +0000 Mae 1987550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Doesn't bother me. In my family the older generations always buy for the youngest generation, but not vice versa (like, my parents always bought for my cousins until they had kids, then they started buying for their kids). So I've always gotten gifts from my aunts and have never given them a gift (but my parents did get their kids/grandkids gifts). And now that I have a kid I'm sure they will buy for my daughter and not for me. Similarly we will always buy for our nieces and nephews but won't expect them to buy for us. </p> <p>With my SIL we've agreed to stop buying for each other now that we both have kids. With my brother we still buy gifts for him/his wife bc they don't have kids, but when they do I'm sure we'll strike the same deal :) </p>